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“Aye. She was older—forties, maybe—but a good competent alpha.” When he looked back now, he saw how lucky he’d been in his pack, in his mentors. The female alpha had taught him everything. “We had nothing between us except the alpha bond, but I liked her.” Thyra wasn’t fit to lick her paws. “Breanne, I’m sorry.”
“It’s like the tie with Herne, isn’t it? If you have that—or something with the alpha female—you can’t bond with another woman.” She inhaled slowly before looking at Zeb. “Being brothers, you’re tied to Thyra too. I understand. It’s nothing that you wanted.” Her face smoothed of all expression.
The only sounds were their footsteps on the path and the rustling of night creatures. Every time he looked at Breanne or Zeb, Shay thought his heart would crack open. This cannot happen.
But all night, he’d fought against the bond with the alpha female—without success. When the pack was near, the tie to Thyra was a constant hum, like a magnet that had been turned on. He’d move away from her, but the minute his attention wavered, the bond pulled them together.
How could he fix this?
Chapter Thirty-two
The next morning, Bree knelt behind the diner counter, filling the pastry goods shelves. The sweet scent of the pies and cakes made her empty stomach churn with nausea.
How could everything have gone so wrong? She’d had one soaring moment last night where she’d had a family and a home and then she’d been blown out of the sky. And she’d hit hard. Her whole body hurt.
As Angie bubbled cheerfully about the new pack leader, Bree fought against screaming in anger—at Thyra and her gloating, at Angie and her happiness, at Shay for his blind honor. Heck, she wanted to yell at their stupid gods, as well.
It’s not fair. Her hand fisted, crushing a strawberry-filled scone. As she opened her fingers, letting the red goo and worthless crumbs fall onto the tray, she realized Angie had fallen silent.
“Bree?”
She looked up at the older woman. “Thyra said she and Shay were…were like mates now. Zeb too. Shay tried to explain, but is it true?”
“Well, by the Mother’s love!” Angie’s brows drew together. “I hadn’t thought about Thyra being alpha.”
“But?”
“She’s right. If an alpha male or female is already lifemated, those bonds can’t be broken, and the alpha’s mate becomes the new alpha female. Unfortunately, Shay isn’t lifemated, so pack instinct takes over, and the alphas become a couple. It’s a bond they can’t fight.” Angie rubbed her hands on her apron. “He really can’t, Bree.”
A couple. A bond. The words sliced into her chest. “And Zeb?”
“They’re brothers. Zeb will feel the bond through Shay.” Angie’s eyes filled with sympathy. “I’ve seen them with you. This must be ripping them into pieces.”
“I know.” She’d seen the desolation in Zeb’s face. Shay’s guilt…and grief. She wasn’t the only one hurting. Silently, she wiped the scone off her hand. Well, she had her answers now. Fine. She could handle this. Hey, she’d never believed she’d end up with the men. Or a home.
Would Thyra move into the lodge? The thought was horrendous. She blinked back tears. “I can’t stay there.”
“Come here,” Angie said instantly. “There’s only me and my daughter these days. I’ve got an extra room.”
A friend. Bree pulled in a slow breath. Even when everything else turned black, she’d always had friends. Maybe they were the gods’ gifts to make up for everything else. She rose and hugged Angie hard. “Thank you. I’ll get my stuff.”
* * *
Shay walked into the kitchen, and his hunger disappeared as the emptiness struck him again. Breanne’s absence was a reverberating ache inside him. Sometime earlier, the little wolf had collected her belongings while he and Zeb weren’t in the lodge. Her note said she’d moved to Angie’s.
He’d hurt her, dammit, hurt her badly. How fast could he fix this? He’d decided to ask the Cosantir to help him find a strong wolf from out of the territory. One who could hold the pack. Shay shook his head in bitter amusement. How many alphas could say they’d given away two packs?
He’d have to leave the territory, of course, since staying would undermine the new alpha. But he could be happy anywhere if Zeb and Breanne were with him.
Footsteps sounded, and Thyra waltzed into the kitchen as if she owned the place. “Shay, I want you to take me out to eat tonight. The diner is having an Italian night.”
“No.” The pull wasn’t gone, dammit, and never would be, but as long as the pack wasn’t around, he could keep a distance.
“What do you mean?” With a baby-like pout, she ran her hand up his chest.
He felt himself respond in spite of his annoyance.
“Shay, did you get—” Zeb took in the sight and scowled. “Never mind.”
“No, don’t go, a bhràthair. Thyra is leaving.” Shay set her to one side.
“I’m not,” she said. “I want to—”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Shay crossed his arms. “I can’t change the fact we’re both alphas. Or that we have to be together during pack times.” The next part made his gut tight. “And we’ll probably end up mating.” As the moon waxed, so would the bond between them. His jaw tightened. “But I don’t want you around here.”
“Shaaaay.”
The whine made his teeth grind together. He started to tell her what he thought of her and refrained. They needed to be able to work together for the good of the pack. “You aren’t my type, Thyra,” he finally said. “We’re the alphas. There’s nothing more between us.”
After a moment, her mouth twisted into something ugly. “Who the hell would want you for anything else? I was just trying to make the best of this.” She shoved Zeb out of the way and stalked out of the kitchen. A few seconds later, the lodge door slammed so hard the building shook.
Zeb let out a laugh. “Got quite a way with the females, don’t you, brawd?”
The feeling of his fist against his brother’s jaw didn’t help at all.
* * *
The tiny meadow was quiet with not even a breeze to ruffle the dead grass. If Bree pushed the brown stalks apart, she could see green blades poking up from the dirt. New life.
But not for me. She felt dead inside and out.
She’d left the guys a note after she packed. Cowardly, for sure. But she couldn’t face seeing their distress again.
Last night, Zeb had wanted to talk, but, for the first time, she’d locked her door. Wasn’t that funny? Even when she was half-afraid of him, she’d never thought of locking the door. No…that had waited until she loved him.
She tilted her head back. Overhead, a vulture circled, lazily riding the warmer air currents. It reminded her of Thyra.
Later today, she’d visit Calum. Surely, the Cosantir would find her new mentors and a different territory. With a sigh, she tossed a twig into the calm lake. It hit with almost no splash, and the ripples faded away before reaching the shore. Like her time in Cold Creek, she’d created a slight disturbance, then would disappear.
In contrast, the effect of the men on her? Oh, now that was more like an avalanche, tearing up the mountainside, leaving black treeless rock behind. Sometimes nothing ever grew there again.
And, jeez, wasn’t she getting maudlin?
With a disgusted growl, she rose, picked up a massive branch, and threw it into the lake. The splash made a mini-tidal wave that tore away parts of the shore. She set her hands on her hips. So there.
Pulling in a long breath, she gazed at the mountains around her. She’d miss the peaks, the forest, the creeks. Undoubtedly, Calum would help her find somewhere nice to live, but still…this had become home.
I don’t have a home. Or a family. Again. Her chest hurt as she headed for the trail down the mountain.
Three wolves eased out of the forest, eyes focused on her. Her heart thudded hard before she caught their scent. Shifters. Angie, Jody, and Bonnie, the sheriff’s dispa
tcher.
Somehow, she doubted they were merely out for a run. Had Angie told the others about what had happened? Would she have humiliation added to her misery?
“Ladies,” she said evenly.
They shifted. Angie smoothed out a place on the softer grass by the bank and eased down with a groan. “I ran more last night than in the previous month. This change of leadership is going to be the death of me.”
Jody dropped down beside the older woman. Bonnie took the other side, picking a shady spot to protect her fair skin. All three looked up at Bree.
Three naked women. Life sure could get bizarre. “What’s up?”
“Sit,” Angie said testily. “You’re giving me a crick in my neck.”
Bree settled down where she could see all three. Unfortunately, that left her feeling like her versus them. Definitely outnumbered.
“Bree,” Bonnie started off in her soft voice. She was Tyler and Luke’s mother and awfully gentle to be raising those little rascals. “Angie told us about your questions.”
I knew it. Bree glared at Angie.
“Ah, no, don’t blame her,” Jody said, amusement in her rough voice. “Bonnie and I were having breakfast in the diner. We saw you leave.”
Bonnie shook her head. “Last night, we saw how hard Shay fought the alpha bonding. Alphas always stay together, but he kept moving to be with you. Zeb too.”
“Oh.” Bree felt the prick of tears and blinked them away. “That’s nice to hear. But you don’t need to worry. I’m leaving soon, and they’ll be okay.”
“By the Mother’s breasts, you got it all wrong. Listen, we talked and”—Jody shoved her short brown hair behind her ears—“I don’t know how to ask this politely. Would you be willing to fight for your males? To challenge the alpha female and take her place?”
“Fight Thyra?” Were they insane?
They all nodded.
“You might remember that she ripped me to pieces?” Bree said politely. “Or weren’t you watching?”
“Oh, I remember.” Jody grimaced and fingered a scar on her shoulder. “Been there, done that. I challenged her a couple of years ago. And lost.”
Bree blinked. “But you’re still here? I thought losers had to leave.” Gerhard and his brother had already moved out of Cold Creek. No one seemed unhappy.
Jody shrugged. “Males tend to move away, but they have that whole testosterone thing going. Females are more practical.”
“You weren’t keen on being alpha either,” Angie pointed out. “It wasn’t like Thyra destroyed your ambitions by winning the challenge.”
“True. I just hate taking orders from a dimwit, and, since I’m lifemated, I wouldn’t have had to mate with Gerhard.” Her nose wrinkled. “Be like fucking carrion.”
Bonnie choked on a laugh. “Bleah, Jody. Breanne, when you fought Thyra, you’d only been a shifter for all of—what—two weeks?”
“Uh.” Bree tried to do the math. It seemed so long ago. “A little less.”
The women waited.
“You’re thinking I was too new to win a fight with her?” Bree thought about how clumsy she’d been. How shocked stupid. Heck, she’d never even seen a dogfight. Not my best performance. “True, I made it easy for her. But she’s also twice as big as me and a lot heavier.”
“More experience, yes. And bigger.” Angie’s gaze was direct. “She counts on being bigger.”
Bree opened her mouth. Closed it. Turning, she stared at the lake. She’d had years of street brawls and karate tournaments. Bigger and heavier didn’t ensure a victory. She’d actually won more contests against large opponents than those her size. “Are you saying she doesn’t fight…smart?”
Angie smiled like a teacher when a student finally caught on. “Vicki says you fight as well as she does. That kung fu stuff or whatever.”
Yeah, I’m just awesome with karate. The momentary hope died. Fighting with teeth and paws rather ruined any skill in kicking and punching. “I don’t think karate quite translates into a wolf style.”
“Speed and cunning do, though,” Bonnie said. “I watched you with Lacey last night. You might be little, but you’re really strong and so fast that she looked as if she was standing still.”
“Speed doesn’t go far without experience,” Bree said. “Without skill, you lose to size every time.”
Jody leaned forward. “We can’t fight for you, but you can use us to practice on. Between us, we’ve watched and fought a lot of challenges. We can give you tips. Point out where you could do better.”
Darned if hope wasn’t rising again.
Bonnie chewed on a lock of hair before admitting, “It wouldn’t be easy.”
None of the women matched Thyra’s size or weight, but they were all fairly large. Bree knew how to hone her body into a weapon, how to fight through pain and keep going. Was it enough?
Did it matter? Could she give up Zeb and Shay without trying?
“No,” she said decisively and saw three faces fall. “I mean, no, that bitch won’t take my men. Not without a heck of a fight.”
Bonnie let out a yip of joy.
Angie grinned. “I knew it. Let’s get started.”
Chapter Thirty-three
The yelp of pain filled the sunny clearing.
Bree released her hold immediately. After shifting to human, she knelt beside Bonnie. “Oh God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
The fluffy blonde wolf snapped her teeth in Bree’s face, then trawsfurred. Sitting on her heels, Bonnie scowled. “Bad wolf. Don’t you ever stop fighting because your opponent screams. Honestly, Bree, you did that karate stuff before; you’re supposed to know better.”
“I do, but I bit you. I can’t stand hurting you guys. You’re my friends.” And they were filling the hole Ashley had left in her heart.
Bonnie examined the red marks on the pale skin of her foot. “You didn’t even draw blood, and that’s another problem. Somehow, you need to practice ripping without maiming.”
“That just sounds ugly.”
“You think Thyra will tuck her tail for a puppy mark like this?”
“I’d bite harder if it was her.”
Bonnie shook her head. “You need to—” As something crashed through the brush uphill, she jerked around. “Who—”
A tawny cougar bounded into the clearing, sending both Bonnie and Bree to their feet.
Bree stepped in front of Bonnie, then relaxed as Bonnie laughed and said, “Hey, Vicki, what’ve you got there?”
The cat stalked over and dropped a small deer on top of Bree’s feet.
“What, do I look hungry?” Bree asked.
Vicki shifted and stood. “Nope. But Angie told me you don’t know how hard to bite. Alec said young males sometimes practice on dead animals.” She motioned to the deer. “So I brought you a toy to play with.”
“That’s clever.” Repressing her need to say eeewww, Bree added, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Vicki took a seat beside Bonnie.
Great, an audience. Bree shifted, backed up a few feet, then sprang at the deer. Pretend it’s Thyra. Grabbing a hind leg, she bit down, released, and darted away. After turning, she trotted back and checked the leg. Heck. No blood.
“Nice dent marks, killer.” When Bree flattened her ears at Vicki, she only snickered. “You gotta do better than that, wolf girl.”
* * *
Four days later, Bree walked down the stairs into the cave under the Wild Hunt. People milled around, undressing, and shifting into wolf form. Shay had ordered weekly runs, setting a time soon after sunset so the young ones had time to party afterwards and the mated ones could get home to their children. Another example, Angie said, of how good Shay was at being alpha.
He was, and she was so very proud of him. He needed to stay here and lead them.
No matter what happened tonight.
The scents and the noise were too intense, and her stomach roiled as if she’d eaten something rotten. She shoved her clot
hing in a niche and hurried outside, staying in human form. The cold air hit her bare skin in a welcome slap.
Her instructions from Angie filled her head, “It must be done in front of the pack. Be loud. Be aggressive.”
The sun had set minutes before, and a light mist swirled in the breeze. Grass alternated with mud that squished coldly between her toes. She looked around.
Zeb was already in wolf form. He caught her scent and started toward her.
Shay and Thyra hadn’t trawsfurred yet and stood together on one side of the clearing. Thyra kept rubbing herself on him like a starving farm cat, following when he’d step away.
Jealousy—and anger—surged through Bree, lighting up her nerves. Biting the bitch was so not going to be a problem. She walked into the center of the small clearing.
This was it. Showtime. Her hands felt sweaty and her stomach churned unhappily. Too bad, body, she told herself, no time to puke. She straightened her spine.
“Thyra.” Her raised voice echoed from the mountains. “I challenge.”
Surprised whispers ran around the clearing like a gust of wind.
Thyra peeled herself off Shay. Her snooty expression just begged to be slapped off. “You? Get real!”
Concern filled Shay’s face. Zeb tilted his head, ears forward.
Bree set her focus on Thyra. “Do you concede?”
“To a scrawny rabbit like you? Hell, no.” After stretching for the benefit of the men, she said, “Don’t worry, my alpha. I’ll win.” She rubbed her breasts against Shay.
He put his hands on her arms—whether to pull her closer or push her away—Bree couldn’t tell.
Thyra put her arms around his waist. “After this, we’ll laugh about her silly lovesickness for you…like we did last night.”
The verbal blow shoved Bree back a step. Had Shay really laughed?
As the pack—human and wolf—formed a circle in the center of the clearing, Bree lost sight of Shay and tried to put it out of her mind. No emotions. The fight is all.