by t. h. snyder
My mama has always been there for me—whether it was to take me to dance, gymnastics or cheering practice—she was there. If I needed a shoulder to cry on or celebrate with, she was there. She always seems to know when I need her the most and always comes to my rescue. Mama’s the sister I never had and the best friend I’d die without.
I watch as we pull into the mall parking lot and drive toward the restaurant. I can see both Riley and my dad standing on the sidewalk near the front doors. I have to smile at the two men that are such a big part of my life. If there wasn’t such an age gap, you’d think they were brothers—both of them stand over six feet tall with brown hair and hazel eyes.
As Mama pulls into a parking spot, the guys come around the car to help us out. I turn to reach for my seat belt and see Riley’s smug face plastered against the window.
“Good God, Riley, that face is enough to scare a small child.”
He laughs and begins to open the door. I move to step out and he slams the door on me.
“Dude! You could have caught my leg in the door, fucker!” I screech.
He pulls open the door all the way and reaches his hand in to help me out.
“Don’t be so dramatic, Em. I was watching where your precious legs were before I shut the door.”
“You’re lucky, asshat.”
Riley helps me out of the car and I glance toward the door to see Mom and Dad waiting for us. They’re both standing there, arms crossed and shaking their heads at us.
I see Riley look in their direction and he laughs while saying, “Uh oh.”
“We better get a move on before we piss off the ‘rents,” I whisper, walking up onto the sidewalk.
“Good call, lil lady,” Riley says, swinging his arm up around my shoulders.
My brother and I walk up to my parents as Dad is opening the front door. Inside, the restaurant is decked out in just about every piece of Boston paraphernalia you can image. With street signs, pictures, posters and Red Sox memorabilia, it’s a haven for a pure fan like my little brother.
His eyes light up, as they always do, like he’s a kid that just walked into a candy store.
Riley moves his arm from around me and I walk over to my dad for a hug.
“Hey, love bug,” he says squeezing me up against him.
“Hi Daddy, thanks for inviting us for lunch. I really needed this.”
“I’m sorry about the news you and Keith got today, but not to worry, everything will be okay.”
Oh Daddy, if you only really knew what was going through my mind right now. I wish you could make it all better so that in reality it would be okay.
I pull away from my dad and give him a nod, “I know it will be, thanks to you and Mama.”
“Hey, what about me? I’m the best big-little brother in the world,” Riley says with a pout on his face
“Please, the only thing you bring into my life is torture,” I reply as I look toward him and roll my eyes.
He takes a step toward me and my dad pulls me into him and turns me away from the lethal attack of my baby brother.
The hostess comes to the front stand to greet us and take us to our seats.
“Oh hey, Miss, we may need a children’s menu for this little lady right here,” Riley says pointing at me.
The hostess gives him a questionable stare.
My dad laughs and tells her to continue what she’s doing and that we’d prefer a booth in the back with four adult menus. Mom just shakes her head and slaps Riley across the back.
For the next hour, my family enjoys one another’s company while straw wrappers are flying and salt is poured into my water, all courtesy of my loving brother. How he doesn’t get us kicked out is beyond me. Maybe it’s the fact that he was flirting pretty heavily with the waitress before my dad called him out on it.
After we’re all done eating our lunch and two shared desserts, Dad and Riley say they need to get going and prepare for a big contract they’re working on out of state. We say our goodbyes with a few hugs, and surprisingly enough, Riley and I walk away without cursing or fighting with one another.
Mom suggests we go do some shopping to keep my mind busy, but I decline knowing very well I should get home and see if my husband has returned.
I’m glad for the distraction of this afternoon, but I also know that once I get home I have a lot to face with Keith.
We begin our journey back to my house and in the pit of my stomach I feel sick. I know it’s not because of the lunch I just ate, but because I don’t know the first thing I want to say to my husband.
He lied to me saying he was going into work.
Do I confront him and tell him I know he didn’t go in or do I let it go just like everything else that bothers us as a couple?
There’s so much I should just sit down and talk to him about, but I’m scared. Of what, I don’t really know. Will he leave me? Will we fight and make up or will something else happen that I least expect?
I hate this feeling and I just want it to go away.
There’s no other option, I have to talk to him about this before it eats me alive.
We pull into my driveway and the garage door is open on Keith’s side. He’s home.
My mom parks her car behind my garage door, shuts off the engine and turns her body to face me.
“Emma, I’ll go in with you if you want me to.”
I shake my head and will myself to stay calm and not break out into a fit of tears.
Turning to look at her, she has the most sincere look on her face.
“Emma, I don’t know what’s been going on. This is your life and it’s not my place to ask questions or get in the middle of anything. Just know that if you need anything, I mean anything at all, you call us right away.”
A single tear falls from my eye and runs down the side of my cheek.
“Mama, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I can fix this.”
“I know you’re both hurting after today, but you need to talk to him. You can at least do that. If things aren’t meant to be then we’ll deal with that later. For now, go in and talk to your husband. Communication is essential to making a marriage work and I can tell that right now you’re both keeping things inside. Talk to him and call me later if you need me.”
I nod my head and lean into my mom for a hug. Pulling away she wipes the tears that are now falling from my eyes.
“Shh, don’t cry, sweet girl. I love you.”
“To infinity and beyond,” I say, wiping my cheeks and checking my reflection in the mirror.
“Call me later, okay?”
“I will, I promise,” I say and open the door.
I stand outside the garage watching as my mom backs down my driveway.
Once her car is no longer in sight, I turn and walk into the garage. Before getting to the door, I take a deep breath and turn the knob. Walking through the mud room and into the kitchen I look around, but there’s neither sound nor sign of Keith.
Tossing my purse down onto the table, I walk over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. I shut the door and bam he’s standing right there.
“Fuck, Keith, you scared me!” I scream, dropping the bottle of water.
He stumbles backward and I reach down for the bottle.
“Hey baby,” he slurs.
“Keith, are you okay?”
I lean in closer to him and notice that he reeks like a bar.
“I’m just fucking great, baby. You don’t look happy to see me. Aren’t you happy to see me?” he asks, moving in closer to me.
“Have you been drinking?”
“Hey!” he shouts, “I asked you a question first.”
“Wait…what? What’s going on with you today?”
“Damn you, woman, stop asking so many questions and answer mine. Aren’t you happy to see me?” he asks again with a laugh.
He puts his arms around me and pulls me into him.
The sudden contact of our bodies throws my senses off. I can’t bel
ieve the way I’m feeling right now.
It’s been so long since Keith and I were this close, that he’s held me and that we’ve been intimate.
Drunk or not, my body is screaming at me to get closer to him. I let my body fall into him as he starts to nip at my neck. Without even thinking about it, I turn my head to give him better access.
He begins to lick and suck at my ear lobe.
My body begins to react before my brain and I throw my arms around his neck.
“That’s my girl; let’s move this upstairs so I can have my way with you.”
He lets go of me and stumbles backward again.
“Keith, are you sure?”
“Baby, right now I just wanna be with you. Don’t worry about anything else, let’s just head upstairs.”
I nod my head as he grabs for my hand, pulls me through the house and up the stairs.
Once we make it up to our bedroom it’s as if he becomes a completely different person than the man that left me earlier.
He looks at me with pure desire in his eyes.
I step in closer to him and he reaches for my waist.
Grabbing for the hem of my shirt, he pulls it up over my head and his cold hands begin to travel from my collar bone slowly down to my hips.
His touch sends chills straight to my core.
I can’t believe I’m about to do this, but honestly I don’t fucking care. My body has been starved of his touch and I can’t wait another second to savor my husband.
I look up at him through my lashes and watch as he licks his lips. He dips his head down and urgently kisses me. His tongue enters my mouth and I can taste the bourbon.
I want him to take me.
I want to get drunk on him.
I want him inside of me…now.
He moves his hands from my hips to his jacket.
“Stop,” I tell him, “let me.”
He nods his head and his hands fall to his side.
I reach out for his fleece jacket and pull down the zipper. It slides off of his shoulders and down his arms and I watch as it falls to the floor.
He’s wearing a plain white tee shirt and I take a step back to look at him. I haven’t taken the time to see him like this in so long.
His body is firm and toned.
As I reach down for the bottom of his shirt, he steps back to give us some room. I attempt to lift the shirt up over his head, but with his height I can’t reach very far.
He lets out a laugh and moves my hands so that he can pull it up and over his head.
My hands instantly move to his chest and my lips find their way to his nipples.
I gently lick one and then the other.
Standing this close to him I can feel his erection begin to grow against my belly.
I let my hands graze over his chest again and lead my way down his stomach, moving closer and closer to the top of his jeans. I unfasten the button and pull down the zipper; all the while my core is aching for his touch.
If I don’t get close enough to him I feel as though I might burst.
He kicks off his pants and reaches to remove my jeans. His hand brushes over my panties and the wetness between my legs begins to build.
“Babe,” he says.
“Keith, please, just touch me,” I beg.
He lifts me and I wrap my legs around his waist.
Walking us back toward our bed, I place my lips against his.
The flavor of the bourbon hits me again and I begin to feel intoxicated by my man.
There’s just something about the way he kisses me. His tongue searches out for mine as he lays us down on the bed. He deepens our kiss with his body hovering over mine.
He rubs his erection against me and I let out a moan.
“Keith, please,” I cry.
“Don’t worry, baby, I’m going to make this up to you. I need you as much as you need me. We’re going to make things right again.”
He rests back on his knees and starts to pull down my panties.
I sit forward and slide his boxer briefs down his legs as far as they can go.
He moves to stand next the bed and kicks them off while reaching behind me to unclasp my bra. In a flash, he comes back onto the bed and props himself over me with his arms.
Bending his head down to me I capture his mouth with mine. I nip at him and lick the crease of his lips until he opens his mouth to allow my tongue to dance with his.
We kiss for what feels like forever and I can barely stand the need I have for my man right now.
I buck my hips up to meet his body, and within a matter of seconds he has me flipped over so that I’m straddling him. I look down and grab his needing erection, moving it toward my warmth and slowly ease down onto him.
“Oh my fucking god,” I groan.
“Yeah, baby,” he cries out.
I begin to move faster and faster the more our bodies cry out for each other. The movement between us creates such an intense friction, I feel like I’m about to fall over the edge.
“God, this feels so fucking good, baby.” Keith moves his hands to my hips and moves me up and down…up and down.
“Mmmhhmmm,” I say as I bite down on my lower lip.
He flips me off of him and onto all fours. I know him well enough to know that he’s getting close.
“Come here, baby, give me that ass,” he says as he smacks me hard.
The vibration pushes me closer to the edge.
He thrusts himself back inside me and reaches his arm around to massage my clit.
It doesn’t take long until an orgasm hits me hard. I can feel the waves of pleasure shoot through me from my head to my toes. Throughout my release, Keith continues to pump in and out of me while rubbing my now sensitive area.
“Oh, baby, that’s it,” he says smacking my ass for the second time.
With the power of his thrusts and the slap on the ass I can feel another moment of ecstasy getting ready to hit its peak.
“Yeah, that’s my girl, I can feel you clenching and it’s driving me fucking crazy, Em.”
He moves his hand from under me and pulls my hips so that my ass is high in the air. He repositions himself so that he’s now up on his feet and hitting my core at a totally different angle.
“Holy shit!” I scream as he pulls out and drives himself back into me.
“I know, baby. I won’t last much longer so hang on for the ride.”
He pounds into me and the angle he’s using is creating a feeling that I’ve never experienced with him before. He’s deeper—so much deeper—and it feels so fucking good.
The harder he pushes the more I aim my ass into the air. I can’t believe how good this feels, and for a moment, I begin to black out and see spots from the third orgasm he’s given me in a matter of minutes.
Keith grabs onto my breast and leans his head onto my back. I can feel the pulsation of his cock inside me and know that he’s reached his peak.
His breathing is ragged and I can feel the sweat from his face running down my side.
“Em, I think that was the best sex we’ve ever had. It was so good that I almost want to wait another few weeks to do it again.”
He pulls out of me and rolls off and onto his back.
“Keith, don’t even say that. I do have to agree that it was pretty good.”
I turn onto my side and rest my head on his chest. Even if it’s just for a moment, I want to spend it cuddled into him. I miss this, I miss us.
“I know, baby, things are going to change. I promise.”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now. I just want to enjoy this moment with you, Keith.”
“Okay, babe, close your eyes and let’s take a little nap together.”
I turn my head just slightly and place a soft kiss onto his chest. This is how I want us to stay; content, at peace and not fighting. We need to be able to get through this together. No matter what, I’m going to try and save my marriage.
Keith runs his fingers up and do
wn my back until I fall fast asleep.
I wake to the sound of music—crazy, weird music—and I hear water running.
I roll onto my side and reach out to feel an empty bed.
“Keith!”
I sit up and see that it’s almost dark outside but the light from under the bathroom door is on.
Guess Keith decided to take a quick shower, wonder if he’d mind if I joined him.
What am I even thinking?
We haven’t had sex in weeks and here I’m thinking about joining him the shower for a quickie. I don’t know if it’s the pent up frustration or the amazing sex we had a few hours ago, but my libido is ready for round two.
Keith and I were never big on scheduled moments of intimacy, but whenever we could get to one another we’d seize the moment as an opportunity. At least that’s how we used to be before the stress of life got in our way.
I step down off the bed and walk toward the bathroom and hear what seems to be rap music.
I listen for a few moments and confirm that it’s definitely rap music coming from the other side of the door.
Unless there’s someone else in there, Keith has to have lost his mind. He’s always been a huge fan of country and rock, but never rap. Since when does Keith listen to rap?
I open the door to see Keith standing at the sink, completely naked, shaving his face.
He looks over at me and gives me a questionable smirk.
“Hey babe. Sorry, did I wake you? You were fast asleep when I woke up and I didn’t want to disturb you.”
I shake my head, “No, you didn’t wake me, but your rap music did.”
He laughs and looks at me through the mirror while rinsing his razor under the hot water.
“Yeah, about that…this kid was at the bar and started talking about this new guy, Chance the Rapper, so I thought I’d check it out to maybe use when I’m at the gym.”
I pull my robe down from the back of the door and laugh at him.
“Whatever works for you, Keith. I just can’t think with that music playing in my ears.”
“I can think of a few things I can do listening to this music,” he says turning toward me, grabbing the robe from my hands and tossing it onto the floor.