We cram into the elevator with a few other students. “It’s better than Hackney, that’s for sure,” she whispers.
“Yeah. It is.”
I can’t disagree. As insignificant as I feel in L.A., Hackney was bloody depressing. The misery and poverty pressed down heavily on your psyche, making you feel as if you carried the weight of the world around with you every single day. At least L.A. looks happy, even if it has a desperate, fake soul under that shiny surface.
“Let’s get settled and get ready to go out. We’ve got big plans tonight!” I keep my voice light, trying to shed the dark mood that has fallen over us.
The lift doors open to my floor. Ellie grins, her face lighting up and for a moment she looks like the old Ellie again, the best mate who had a brilliant future ahead of her, not the shell of a girl who got off a plane an hour ago. “Big plans, huh?”
I grin back. “Yep. Big. Huge.”
“Well, let’s get to it then.”
God, it feels so good to see her. “I’m glad you’re here, El.” I hug her, holding her tight. “I’ve missed you.”
“Me too, Kate.” She straightens up, breaking the embrace. “Now, take me to your flat. I want to meet this slag flatmate of yours.”
I nearly choke in disbelief. Ellie never talks bad about someone. She meets my gaze and we burst out laughing.
“Right. C’mon then. The town bike’s waiting to meet you. Be careful, she may try to chat you up as well. Her lust knows no bounds, I’m sure. She’s some spoiled socialite or something.”
We’re overcome with laughter again, and just like that, it’s as if we were never apart.
Dax
“C’mon! You lot are making us late.” I barge into the backstage room of whatever club we’re playing tonight to yell at my mates. Glancing around, I notice one of us is not where he’s supposed to be. “Christ! He’s gone missing again?”
Gavin looks up from his seat on the floor next to Hawke, pointing at the closed door on one side of the tiny space. The moaning and groaning I hear leaves no doubt what Adam’s up to on the other side.
“We tried telling him. He doesn’t listen to us.” Hawke shrugs and returns his focus to his mobile, not caring one way or another if we’re onstage when we’re supposed to be. How in the fuck I became the dependable one of this lot, I have no bloody clue.
“Adam!” I bang my fist on the door, rattling it in its frame. “Get your sorry arse out here now!” I know I’m being a dick simply because I’m going to be seeing Kate tonight and it has me all wound up. After turning me down flat and then dodging me for five months she rings me out of nowhere, and not because she misses me, but because Ellie is in town and she wants to see Adam.
I’m angry with myself for caring, and even angrier with myself for trying to make things right with Kate after she shut me down. I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but I can’t stand the thought of Kate thinking I’m a bastard. Even though I undoubtedly am.
Seconds later, the door to the room opens and out strolls a blonde tart, Adam trailing not too far behind. With a hand to the chest, I shove him back and slam the door, giving us privacy, although, I’m quite sure Gavin and Hawke will be able to hear every word I say, as I’m not planning on being quiet.
“You useless fucking tit!” My finger stabs into Adam’s chest. “I didn’t come to this bloody fucking hot, miserable, stuck up city to babysit your pathetic, whinging arse.” My best mate’s eyes go wide at my verbal explosion. I can only hope my words have finally hit their mark with him. “Get your shit together and do it fast, Reynolds. I’m not failing at this because you can’t get over Ellie. Man the fuck up and stop being such a big girl’s blouse. No more shags before gigs. I could give a fuck less what you do after, but we will get on stage on-fucking-time. Understand?”
Adam swallows and nods. In all the years I’ve known him, he’s never been on the receiving end of my temper, precariously balanced on a knife’s-edge at all times. He’s bloody well seen what I can do with my fists when I’m angry and certainly doesn’t want to go down that road.
Storming out of the room, I bellow at Gavin and Hawke. “Get your lazy arses up! It’s show time and I’m going to have fucking fun if it kills me!”
Rule 2—Never let your emotions show.
Fuck you, dad. Despite my hate for him and his rules, I still force myself to wipe the hostility off my face as I was trained. I pause in the hall to calm down, clear my head, and carefully bottle everything up inside. The others brush past me as I lean my forehead into the wall and close my eyes. If Kate were back here she would have me set to rights in half a second. All she’d have to do is smile and I’d be ready to go.
Why am I thinking that? Because she’s out in the crowd somewhere? She’s not to see me. Why can’t I just fucking let it go?
“Fuck me.”
Sighing, I turn towards the stage area and meet up with the rest of the band as we’re announced. At first, I have to force myself to play, but as the night goes on and the music flows from my fingers to the guitar, it becomes genuine. There’s nothing I love more than our music and being on stage.
“Dax! I love you!”
I smirk at the screams that more than a few of the intoxicated ladies send my way. They’re mostly harmless, and a little flirting makes the crowd more fun. So I peek at the girls shoved up against the stage as they give us moon-eyes and shoot lusty looks our way. Being up here reminds me of fighting, which always gets me anticipating my reward at the end. Some days, it takes quite a bit of concentration to keep from springing wood right on stage.
Adam works the audience like a maestro directing an orchestra, effortlessly pulling energy from the crowd and giving it back to them tenfold. By the third song he has every single person in the club eating out of his hand. It’s a gift really, to charm, to instill passion, to make people feel special. Adam does it as well or better than the best in the business.
Our set ends on a brilliant high, the entire place going crazy for more. We stumble off stage, sweaty and smiling, riding the wave of endorphins that always follow a great performance. Using the hem of my shirt, I wipe off the sweat that’s dripping down the side of my face. While the material is up over my eyes, a cool hand caresses my slick abs, making its way under the edge of my jeans.
“What the—?”
I immediately drop the shirt to see who’s touching me.
Bloody fucking hell. It’s Kate’s crazy flatmate, Lila. A girl who for some reason can’t get it out of her thick, spoiled skull that I’m not interested in shagging her.
“Lila,” I deadpan, removing her hand from where it’s trying to dig down into my briefs.
“Hey Dax.” She leans into me in some sort of sad attempt at seduction, batting her eyelashes ridiculously. Five months of near stalker-like behavior with me turning her down every time and this girl still can’t accept reality.
“Oi, Dax. We’re goin’ out. You coming?” Gavin is leaning out of one of the back rooms, ready to leave. I can’t let him go, Ellie and Kate are here and we need to wait for them.
“Right. Yeah, don’t leave yet.” He disappears down the hall towards the back door of the club. I turn back to my number one fan. “Lila. What are you doing here?” I wiggle out of her grasp but she’s much quicker, and more aggressive, than I expected.
“You’re so big and muscular, Dax. I’d love to see what you could do with that body of yours.” Lila purrs, wrapping her arms round my waist so I can’t move. She actually fucking purrs at me! What the hell is wrong with her?
I reach behind me to unwind her octopus arms and the little shit uses the distraction to lean up on her toes and lick a line right across my neck as she takes a photo on her mobile.
“Jesus, Lila. Give it a bloody rest!” I snap, louder than intended. I’m just so fucking sick of this girl. She keeps turning up at my shows, throwing herself at me whenever she can.
Her eyes pop open in surprise at my rebuke, but only for a second. Then
she’s back all over me like a damn barnacle.
“You don’t mean that, Dax. We could have so much fun together. I’m here with a bunch of my friends. Let’s take this to the after party.”
Lila’s hands are everywhere at once—on my chest, my abs, my waist, my back. It’s literally as if she has extra arms. I back up, knowing that my patience is reaching its breaking point. Being within striking distance of her isn’t smart. I’d never hit a girl on purpose, but I’ve never been given a reason to either. I don’t trust the beast inside me when provoked to this extent.
When Lila tries to move with me, the restraint I had over my frustration comes undone.
Rule 3—Women who act like slags can be treated like slags.
I grab her wrists, trapping them in one of my hands. “That’s it. I’ve tried to be nice to you. I’ve tried being direct. Clearly, you have some sort of learning disability. Listen and listen good…” For the first time since I’ve met her, Lila’s cocky attitude vanishes. This is going to be ugly. “I. Don’t. Want. You. Got it? It’s never going to happen. Never. Stop coming to my shows, stop coming backstage, stop touching me, stop bloody talking to me. In fact, I don’t want to see you at one of my shows ever again. Back the fuck off!” My last sentence comes out as a loud, menacing roar.
Without waiting for a response, I shove past her, not caring that I may have knocked into her a bit with my elbow. She shouldn’t have been standing so close to someone as blatantly dangerous as myself. She shouldn’t have been standing so close to me, period.
Gavin meets me at the back entrance. The smirk on his face makes it quite obvious he was waiting for me to finish disposing of Lila before heading for the car.
“Having issues with your fan club?”
I push Gavin out the door and he busts up laughing.
“Shut it, Walker. Just shut it.” I turn to fetch Ellie and Kate inside, wondering what Gavin will say when he sees them. “Get Hawke and get the car. I’ll be right out.”
Now I’m all agitated and I have to face Kate.
Fucking Lila.
Kate
“Ellie? Here. You look like you need this.” I hand her another vodka tonic, noting how ill she looks, especially under these oddly colored club lights.
“Thanks.” Ellie sips this one slower than her first, which she emptied in two gulps.
“C’mon. Let’s mingle. The guys are done and told me to come backstage about fifteen minutes after the show. They need to pack up their gear or something. Come talk to the movie crew that’s here tonight. They’re really nice.” I try to pull Ellie with me but she resists. “El,” gently, I put an arm around her. “You need to relax. You can’t chat with Adam if you look like you’re scared to death. Let’s make small talk, okay?”
“Sure. Right.” Her body is stiff as a board.
“Some of them are pretty good-looking too.” Dax told me that there was a big after party tonight at some Hollywood producer’s house. The crew from one of the producer’s films is here and the band has been invited to hang out with them.
When the guys had been on stage earlier, Ellie froze in place, unable to take her eyes off of Adam. My own gaze lingered a tad too long on Dax, greedily soaking in how every glorious ridge of his body looked in his tight-fitting shirt and jeans. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him, even longer since I’ve spent any amount of time with him. In fact, it was about a year ago that we first started spending time together in Hackney.
“Let’s go over there.” I point at the rowdy group of actors and crewmembers.
She nods without speaking, her mind probably consumed with Adam. I miss Dax so much, and he was never even mine. If I had what Ellie had with Adam, only to have it ripped away? Hell, I’d never be the same again.
That’s why it’s better to not go down that road. Dax Davies is not cut out for a relationship and my heart’s not cut out for the kind of pain he would inflict. I remember all those times in Hackney when I saw him chat up a girl. Always a different one, always with the same result. Then I remember one time, right before I actually got to know Dax, which stood out from all of the others.
“I’ll see you in chemistry, Kate,” Tasha calls out as she leaves world geography.
“Right. Yeah, later,” I reply, but Tasha’s long gone. I sigh, trudging to my locker slowly, not in any hurry to get to my next class. It’s one I have with Dax Davies—gorgeous, out of my league, and wholly unaware of my existence. Knowing he’s sharing space with me makes me as nervous as a bloody bride on her wedding day.
After exchanging my books, I slam the locker door shut, determined that today will be the day I don’t let Dax get to me. Then, I spot him.
Before he can see me, I duck behind a group of younger students loitering in the hall. A tall, stunning redhead with legs for miles is standing with her back against the wall. Dax is leaning into her, one arm propped up next to her head, the other gently toying with a lock of her hair.
I squeeze my eyes shut, a familiar hurt gripping my heart. I shouldn’t listen. It only makes things worse. Yet, I’m unable to pull in a breath let alone walk away.
I’m close enough so that Dax’s deep bass rumbles in my chest. “So, you have plans later?” He drops her hair and brushes his finger down her arm.
The girl visibly shudders. “I do now,” she purrs in what I assume is supposed to be a sexy voice.
“Good. Meet me in the art annex after final period.”
Then, as if he can feel me watching them, Dax’s head tilts my way. His dark eyes latch onto mine, unwavering. His hand drops from the girl’s arm. I’d swear I saw something flash across his face. Embarrassment? Nah. Dax Davies doesn’t do emotions. Especially not embarrassment. The man literally has no shame. Or feelings.
Without ever turning back to the girl, Dax spins around and leaves.
I blink, wondering where that memory came from. I’d forgotten about it until now.
“Kate?”
Ellie’s nervous voice brings me back to reality. Viper Room. Loud music. Musicians to confront. Right.
A cute bloke in the group of actors waves at me, inviting us over. Maybe there’s hope for me yet. Then I think back at the six-foot plus display of power and strength that was on the stage tonight and realize any hope for me pulled out of the station a long time ago.
Dax
“I still can’t believe you’re here,” I say from where I’m sitting in the passenger seat of Hawke’s huge SUV. Kate, Gavin, and Ellie are in the back. After meeting up at the club, the mood in the car has stayed tense, with Kate acting distant and Ellie looking quite ill.
“How was your flight?” Gavin asks, using his easygoing personality to try and break the heavy veil of anxiety emanating from the two women. I twist around to see Ellie’s face, using it as an excuse to get a quick glance at Kate. Her emotions are shuttered up tight, her mouth pressed into a line. Clearly, she doesn’t want to be here with me. If she did, she’d have rung months ago.
“Long,” Ellie says, giving Gavin a genuine smile. Those two always were thick as thieves together.
“Hope you’re ready for this, El,” Hawke says as he pulls into a long driveway. “The guy that owns this place is fucking loaded.”
The SUV winds down the drive, pulling in front of the biggest house I’ve ever seen.
“Wow,” Kate whispers. “Who lives here?”
Hawke shuts the car off and turns back to face Kate. “Some big movie producer. I forget his name, but he’s huge. That part I remember.”
A valet opens Hawke’s door for him. He drops the keys into the man’s hand as we all get out. I look up at the sheer opulence of the monstrosity, and then back at the lot of us. “We look like Tiny Tim and the rest of the Cratchets showing up at Scrooge’s house for Christmas. Way out of our comfort zone,” I joke.
Hawke laughs, a rare sound to hear. “Speak for yourself, man. This is normal for me.”
“Right.” I always forget that Hawke and Gavin grew up very d
ifferent than those of us from Hackney. They’re both from this area and are used to money, trust funds, stodgy rich people, and parties that cost more than the crown jewels.
“Come on, I’ll be right here with you.” Gavin calmly takes Ellie’s hand and we follow them into a party filled to the brim with Hollywood elite.
I should be excited. This is what we’re trying to achieve. Fame, fortune, recognition for our music… yet all I want is to duck out with Kate and find out why she refuses to give us a chance. I’m tempted to pull her aside right now, but we’ve entered the mansion and the noise crashes over us, making conversation all but impossible.
Next thing I know, Gavin and Ellie have disappeared into the thick crowd. I turn to ask Hawke where we should look for Adam, but he’s gone too. It’s just Kate and me and she looks as if she’d rather be anywhere but here.
I lean down so she can hear me over the thumping music. “Can we talk?”
Kate flinches back at my question. “Let’s find Adam first, okay?” She crosses the room to a doorway on the right without saying another word. At least she didn’t say no. Not having much of a choice, which I fucking hate, I follow, but at a much slower pace. I’m too big to slip through the sea of bodies as easily as Kate.
I find myself alone in a long hallway with doors up and down either side. No sign of Kate. I’ve lost her.
“Fuck!”
This is stupid. My hands dig into my hair, gripping it hard and pulling. The urge to throw Kate down, tie her up, and spank her until she admits we’d be great together nearly overwhelms me. Maddened, I check the rooms one at a time, opening the doors for a look before moving on to the next.
“Oh my god!” The loud screeching voice makes my entire body go tense. I brace for the unwanted physical contact that’s sure to follow that hideous sound. Sure enough, Lila launches herself at me, wrapping her arms around my waist.
“Lila.” I reach back and remove her hands. “What are you doing here?”