“Me? What are you doing here, silly? This is my dad’s house. You came to the party after all!”
“What?” Her dad? The big producer is Lila’s father? I’m so flustered, I don’t notice Lila rubbing her body all over me like a cat.
“My dad. This is his house. Now, I didn’t grow up here. My parents divorced so I only visited on weekends, but Daddy…”
I tune her out. Her dad. Shit. I wonder if Kate knows that Lila’s dad owns this house?
“Dax? Lila? What the hell is going on?”
Slowly, I turn to face Kate. Her face is red and her eyes glossy with tears. I look down to see Lila is still pressed up against me, wearing the same microscopic red dress she had on at the club. I back up as if Lila burned me.
“No. Kate…”
Kate spins on her heel, hurrying down the hall.
“Fuck.”
“Don’t worry about her, Dax. She knows that she doesn’t fit in with this crowd. I’m surprised you’d bring her.” Lila smiles, reaching up to put her hand on my chest.
“Sod off, Lila.” I take off after Kate, hoping she’ll let me explain.
By the time I catch up to Kate, she’s already talking to Ellie and Gavin. No one has found Adam yet. Hawke joins us and puts a beer in my hand. I’ve never been more thankful in my life to have a drink as I am right now.
Kate
Giggling. My dreadful, slutty, man-stealing flatmate is giggling from her side of the little suite we share.
I groan, pulling the duvet up over my head, too tired to deal with her this morning. Then last night comes back to me.
Dax, with Lila hanging all over him. Adam, shagging some bloke’s girl. Ellie, leaving the party in tears, never returning to my dorm to get her things.
I nearly start crying when I think of Ellie’s face when Adam shoved her. I grab my phone and dial the number she gave me. A lilting voice tells me that it’s been disconnected.
Gone. She’s gone. I feel ill, then the sick feeling morphs into fury.
On a mission, I throw off the covers and grab some clothes. Quickly, I shower, brush my teeth, and get ready to leave, more determined and angry than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m going to kick Adam’s arse for being such a useless twat and destroying my best friend. Dax, the bastard, can be dealt with later.
When I step out of the bathroom, Lila is waiting for me.
“Did you have a good time last night, Kate?” She smirks, knowing I was upset to see her with Dax.
All right then. Adam can wait.
With my hands on my hips I step forward. A streak of satisfaction runs through me when Lila falters and is intimidated enough to step back.
“Let me tell you something, Lila. I am really not in the mood for your crap. In fact, I’d say I’m somewhere close to being quite unstable at this moment.” Her eyes widen a fraction. I take another step forward and the backs of Lila’s knees hit her bed. “You don’t want to start something you can’t see through. Do you?”
I cock my head and wait for her response to my veiled threat.
“I suppose not,” she says.
“Good.”
I grab my keys and head for the door.
One problem down, only about a thousand more to go.
Lila calls out after me. “Just one more thing before you leave.”
I flinch, frozen in the doorway, one foot in the hall. Reluctantly, I turn around. Lila sashays over, her hips swaying as if she were strutting the catwalk at fashion week.
“What is it,” I snap.
“Oh.” Her eyes flutter as she feigns innocence. “I thought you might like to see a picture I took last night. You know, before my dad’s party.”
“Your dad? What?” Confused, I release the door, letting it close gently behind me.
“My dad. Oh no!” She acts embarrassed when it’s obvious that she’s enjoying every minute of torturing me. “That party last night was at my dad’s house. Didn’t you know?”
I swallow loudly. “No. I didn’t.”
“Well, no worries.” Lila waves her hand as if it’s no big deal. “Here. Isn’t this a great photo of me?” She whips out her phone, holding it in front of my face.
When I get a look at the screen, my knees nearly buckle. Somehow, I have no idea how, I manage hold in my reaction. Internally is another story. My heart flips around and stalls, plunging into my feet.
There, in all of her half-naked glory, is Lila, licking Dax backstage at the club last night. I know it’s last night because I recognize the clothes they both are wearing.
“Where did you get this?” I snarl, snatching the phone out of her hand.
Lila deftly plucks the phone from my hand and walks over to her bed, sitting down gracefully.
“Oh, you know, just after the show last night. I go to all of Dax’s shows.” She sits up, all wide-eyed and childlike. “You do know that I meet up with Dax after all of his shows, don’t you?”
Scorching heat floods my neck and face, burning me to the tips of my ears.
Lila smiles. “I guess you didn’t. Well,” she lies back on her bed, crossing her legs at the ankles and begins playing with her phone. Is she texting Dax? She doesn’t look up as she dismisses me. “Have a nice day.”
Humiliated, I spin and stumble as I reach for the doorknob. The last thing I hear as I fling it open and run down the hall is Lila’s girly giggle.
Dax
“Dax? What are you doing here?”
I jump up from my seat on the concrete steps of the training facility at UCLA. I’ve been here for over an hour, waiting for the girls’ footy practice to end. “Kate!”
Kate lets her hurt show for a brief moment before her face hardens. “I’m late for class.” She slings a large duffel up on her shoulder, brushing past me.
“Wait! Don’t do this again. Talk to me, Kate.”
“Do what, exactly!” She whirls around so fast I stumble over my own feet. “Protect myself from getting my heart broken? Or distance myself from a highly dysfunctional group of slutty, immature men?” Her voice cracks on the last word, her full lower lip quivering.
My heart flinches from Kate’s verbal slap down, but I manage to keep my face calm. She’s right. We are a highly dysfunctional group of slutty, immature men. And I probably will break her heart. But the sadness behind her anger makes me even more determined to win her trust back.
“Nothing happened with Lila. You know I can’t stand her. If you had stayed after talking to Adam yesterday at our flat—”
Kate cuts me off, her cheeks flushed red. “If nothing happened why have you been meeting up with Lila backstage after your gigs?”
How in the hell…?
“I don’t meet her backstage.”
“She’s my flatmate, Dax! She showed me the bloody photo from the other night! Don’t treat me like I’m stupid!”
“You’re not stupid. She accosted me after our gig. Literally grabbed me, Kate. She took the photo before I could shove her off. I turned her down… blatantly. I know how much Lila upsets you, the way she’s always chatting me up. We’re fighting over nothing. You know I despise her.”
“It’s too hard, Dax.” She shakes her head, her eyes glimmering with tears. I should let her go, let her think I’m the bastard that I am, but instead I push forward.
“Why don’t you trust me? I told you I want to be with only you and that’s not good enough. So what is it then?”
Kate harrumphs, crossing her arms over her chest to shield her heart from my perceived betrayal. “You were snogging her in the hallway at that stupid bloody party Saturday night? As if it isn’t bad enough what Adam did to Ellie…” a pained sob escapes.
And there it is, right there. She’s afraid that what she saw happen between Ellie and Adam will happen to us. Kate’s seen Adam and his parade of tarts and thinks I’ll chuck her and do the same. The Lila situation has only made it worse.
“Kate…” I step forward, pulling her into my arms. “I would never do t
hat to you. Ever.” My body awakens at the contact, electrified sensations zipping through my veins.
“I don’t know if I can believe that, Dax.” Her body is stiff in my arms.
“Please. Give us a go. I’m not like that. Your flatmate is a total nutter, you know this. Once the term is over, you’ll move and won’t have to deal with her anymore. I told her off good this time, so hopefully I won’t have to deal with her anymore either.”
I can’t believe I’m begging a girl to be with me, yet here I am.
Kate steps back, leaving a cold space where her warm body was pressed against me. “Why me? Huh, Dax? I’m nothing special, so tell me why?”
Reaching out, I take one of her hands in mine, threading our fingers together. I’m torn between keeping everything bottled up and hidden, and telling Kate everything I know to be true.
“You… you’re different.” I struggle to explain how I feel without giving away too much. How it felt knowing that we may have never gotten a chance to see how great we could be because of my past. My inability to let my emotions show, my belief that the post-fight rewards were not only deserved but that they were owed to me, those bloody rules—they fucked up everything.
Kate arches an eyebrow. “Different?” Her beautiful, full lips turn down in the corners. When she tries to tug her hand away, I hold on tight, refusing to lose the contact.
“Different is good, Kate. Bollocks. I’m not saying it right.” Sighing, I rub my free hand over my unkempt hair. “I respect you. That—well, it means something to me. You’re better than some random shag in the backroom of my dad’s club or Lila or a groupie.” My dad’s rules come roaring back to the forefront of my mind again, never far enough away to ignore.
Rule 4—Women who act like slags can be treated like slags.
Kate was never a slag and never will be.
I see her wince at the reminder of the women in my past and her stupid flatmate as I drag the knife over her wounds, bringing fresh blood to the surface. But there’s something else shining there—behind the pain. Hope? Desire? Hate?
I swallow nervously. Fuck, I pray it’s the first two. I couldn’t live with the guilt of Kate hating me. For the millionth time, I wonder why I care, why I let this girl see my emotions, for her to see me stripped bare in a way I don’t let anyone see.
She bites her lip, those white teeth sinking into the plump, pink flesh. The action makes my cock stir in my trousers. I say a silent thank you that I threw on baggy cargos instead of the tight, crotch-hugging jeans I usually wear.
My fate is in someone’s hands other than my own and it’s making me a nervous wreck. I hate it. The control I spent eighteen years wrestling back from my dad has now been handed over to this girl.
Sweat begins to bead up between my shoulder blades and on my temples. A lone drop trickles down my spine while the tension hangs between us.
Finally, right as I think I’m going to explode from anxiety, Kate releases her lip and smiles, wide and beautiful. Her perfection hits me like a shock of electricity to the heart, pushing it to work overtime to keep my blood flowing. She’s fucking amazing when she smiles. All the dark shit from my past, all the things I’ve done, people I’ve hurt, women I’ve used—it all fades away until there’s only me and her.
I gently squeeze her hand, which is still all tangled up with mine. “Does this mean I’m forgiven?”
Nodding shyly, she pulls her hand back, nervously scraping her long hair up into a high ponytail. A memory assaults me, hard enough to stun me for a moment. In school, Kate used to constantly fiddle with her hair, yanking it up whenever she was nervous or if it got in her way. She was always playing with it. Suddenly I want to bury my nose in those silky golden brown strands and inhale the sweet scent of her.
Fuck it.
Moving closer, I stand in front of Kate. She’s watching every step I take, her eyes fixed on me, unblinking. Gently, my touch so light it barely brushes her skin, I move my hand up her neck to rest against the side of her face. Without realizing she’s doing it, Kate leans her cheek into my touch, her mouth parting slightly.
That’s the only sign I need to bring my other hand to the opposite side of her neck and pull her forward until our lips connect. Her taste explodes on my tongue, hot and sweet, with a hint of mint toothpaste mixed in. Using every bit of self-control I possess, I force myself to keep the kiss as short and chaste as possible. I don’t want to ruin the moment when I’ve just gotten her to trust me with her heart.
“Wow,” Kate whispers. I didn’t think it was possible, but she’s even more stunning now with her hair up, her eyes closed, and her lips swollen and red from our kiss than she was all put together at the club the other night.
Kate opens her eyes and I see it—she’s lost in a haze of lust. It’s a look I know well, having seen it on a woman’s face more times than I can count. Only this time, it means something.
“I know. Wow.” My thumbs brush over the skin in front of her ears, drawing small circles. “I’m not sure how many more rejections I can take, but I’m asking you again. Go out with me. On a proper date.”
Kate’s spine stiffens, and her head drops as she pulls away from my hands. She takes a few steps back but still doesn’t say anything.
“Kate.” She ignores me, still unmoving. “Kate!”
Her head jerks up, our eyes locking together. Closing her eyes, she presses her mouth into a hard line. She’s changed her mind. Here it comes—the brush off. She’s getting ready to wield the knife that will carve out my soul and leave me empty again.
Unconsciously, I rub the spot over my heart, as if I can soothe the sharp pain that’s beginning to bloom. She can’t say no, she’s mine! Just the thought of anyone else touching her has me seeing red.
Another one of my dad’s rules comes rushing back at me, blindsiding me with its strength.
Rule 5—Defend what’s yours.
Inexplicably, all I can think about is how she’s mine. The urge to throw her over my shoulder and hide her away nearly brings me to my knees. I struggle to keep it together while Kate decides our fate.
“Okay.”
“What?” My hand drops to my side in shock. “Is that a yes?”
“Yes.” Kate takes a deep breath, opening her eyes and giving me another one of her wide, brilliant grins.
For once in my life, I let my guard down, exhaling in relief. “Hell, I thought you were finished with me.”
Seeing straight into my soul with those bright green eyes, her voice husky and sexy just like I remember, she steps closer. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be finished with you, Dax Davies.”
Just like that, the glacial rock in my chest where my heart is supposed to be has a purpose. It can beat again.
49
Kate
Somehow going on a proper date with Dax morphed into dinner then coming back to the flat to talk and get reacquainted after so much time apart. Making up for lost time.
Talking led to touching, which led to kissing. Once we realized all the other guys were out for the evening, words seemed unnecessary and things got intense… really intense. I’ve wanted him for so long, I can’t resist his touch.
That’s how I ended up in Dax’s flat, lying on his bed, with his heavy body pressing me down to the mattress, snogging like there’s no tomorrow.
“So gorgeous,” Dax whispers, his large, rough hands sliding up and down my bare arms. My skin is so sensitive I can feel every single callous that has formed on his fingers from years of playing guitar and using his fists to earn money as they scrape over my exposed flesh.
Dax props himself up on his elbows so he can see right into my eyes—and I swear, right through me. I swallow loudly, my heart thrumming in my chest. Can he tell that I’m in love with him? That I’ve been in love with him for as long as I can remember? That I can see past that intimidating exterior he puts up to the man he really is?
Instead of voicing out loud whatever thoughts lie behind those expressive dark
eyes, Dax lowers his head and kisses me—gently at first—light, barely there brushes of his lips on mine. It’s enough to make my breath hitch with each pass of his mouth. He teases me like that for what feels like forever, minutes, hours… time seems to have stopped, everything collapsing in to focus on this one act.
Dax takes his time exploring me, his slow pace, his soft touches, the noises that we make growing louder and louder—it stokes a low burn inside that begs to be set free. I need more.
My body moves on instinct, attempting to get what it needs without my permission. I don’t realize that my hips have arched off the bed, seeking contact with Dax’s rigid length until I rub against his hard, denim-clad cock. He stops what he’s doing immediately, but not before letting out a long, deep moan. The smoldering desire between us explodes into an inferno, turning us into panting, groaning animals in the blink of an eye.
Passion unlike any I’ve ever thought possible races through me unchecked. The scorching hot flames are burning my skin from the inside out, setting me on fire and boiling the blood in my veins. Unable to control his own reactions as I wantonly grind my hips against his, Dax shudders, giving in to his need for friction by dropping his weight down onto me for full body contact.
“Jesus, Kate.” His voice is strained, his eyes wild. Dax’s precious control is hanging on by a thread—one that I’m intent on unraveling.
I wrap my hands around his neck and yank him down for a deep, lingering kiss. My legs find their way around his waist, holding him close as we rock against each other, intense sensations jolting through me with each thrust of his hips.
Our mouths crash together again and again, sloppy, wet, and unbelievably perfect. Dax’s tongue thrusts into my mouth, dominating mine. He tastes perfect. Like strength and security, with a bit of the chocolate trifle we shared for dessert. Needing more, I shove my hands up the back of his shirt, running them over smooth, hot skin wrapped over hard muscle.
Breaking the kiss with a ragged inhale, Dax slows down his rocking hips. “We shouldn’t—I can’t stop if we keep going, Kate.”