We’d been apart a few months the first time I googled vasectomy reversal. I knew there was no denying it; the act itself was a serious indication that I was on the verge of caving to Lawrence’s demands. But by month four or five, it didn’t feel like such a concession on my part anymore. I loved her and didn’t want to be apart from her. Wouldn’t the next logical step be to marry her? And isn’t it a reasonable thought to expect children after that?
Bridgette hasn’t missed an opportunity to tell me what an idiot I am for letting Lawrence go. And she’s right. Even my sweet Bebelle, who is growing like a weed, has given me grief about letting her get away.
Bridge would rub it in my face so fucking hard if I told her she had been right when she said I should marry Lawrence and have the vasectomy reversed.
Sitting here, I face the cold, hard truth: Lawrence was my world. My everything. And I let her go.
If I don’t show her how special she is, another man will.
If I don’t put a ring on her finger, another man will.
If I don’t give her babies, another man will.
Can I live with that? Fuck no. The thought makes me blind with rage and jealousy.
A knock on my door gains my attention. “Hey, Lucas. Are you busy?”
I fold Lawrence’s note and put it away in my top drawer. “Not too bad.”
Oliver comes into my office and takes the seat across from me. Hands clasped behind his head. Feet up on my desk to piss me off. This is the old Oliver. “I know it’s quitting time but do you feel like talking business for a minute?”
“Always.” Business is all I have now because there’s nothing waiting at home for me.
But there could have been if I hadn’t been such a fucking hardheaded fool.
“I’ve been in contact with a hard-cider company still in its infancy. They’re having a rough go at getting started and may be looking for a partner. I’ve been kicking around the idea of trying to produce and market a cider. This could be the perfect opportunity to get in on it. I’m curious to know what your thoughts would be about buying into something like that. Maybe making it a sister company to Iron City.”
Oliver has been a machine since he left rehab. All he thinks about are ways to grow the company.
“I’m always interested if there’s money to be made. How do you feel about what they’re producing?”
“I love what they’re doing over there—totally thinking out of the box. And everything is organic.”
Organic. With just that one simple word, my mind immediately goes to Lawrence. Not that it wasn’t partially on her already.
“I’m happy to take a look at the books whenever you’re ready.”
“Would you be free to drive over with me this weekend?”
It’s not as though I have any plans. My life is shit. “Sure, I can do it. Where are we going?”
“Savannah.”
This cider company could be anywhere in the fucking world and it’s in Savannah, Georgia. With her. “I don’t know about that, man.”
“This is business, Lucas. It’s all about perfect timing and financial opportunity. Not my sister.”
I know. But she’ll be there. Within my reach.
“I can’t believe you’d puss out on this deal and give up an opportunity to make money because you’re scared of seeing my sister.”
“I’m not scared to see her.” Actually, I’d like nothing more. But I’m terrified of falling to my knees and telling her that I’ll give her everything she wants if she’ll have me back again.
Am I ready to do that? Put a ring on her finger and babies inside of her?
Yes. After six months of misery, I’m ready to do whatever it takes to have her in my life again.
“There’s been a lot going on in Lawry’s life. She’s busy doing stuff. Don’t worry. You won’t run into her.”
“What kind of stuff?” And what’s keeping her busy?
“She sold Law of Attraction.”
“Why?” She loves her little boho shop.
“She no longer feels safe after what happened.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Lawry was assaulted and robbed at gunpoint in the alley behind the shop.”
No one has mentioned a word about it. “Is she all right?”
“She was a little banged up and scared shitless, but she’s okay now.”
Banged up? Okay now? “When did this happen?”
“Two months ago.”
Lawrence was attacked and no one mentioned it? “Why is this the first time I’m hearing about this?”
“Dude, you ended your relationship with her. I took that as a clear indication you were no longer interested in what happened in my sister’s life.”
Both of those statements couldn’t be further from the truth.
“She ended things with me. But to hell with who ended what. She was attacked. Of course I would want to know about that.”
Oliver is very well aware of that, but he chose to not say anything because he’s still pissed off at me. This is my punishment for hurting her.
Oliver shrugs. “Okay. Now you know.”
Based on his tone, I hear a variety of silent comments attached to the end of that statement.
Okay. Now you know. So what are you going to do about it?
Okay. Now you know. So why do you care? You broke my sister’s heart.
Okay. Now you know. And it doesn’t change a motherfucking thing.
“Lawry handed over the deposit bag, and the fucker still knocked her down and kicked the hell out of her. The worst part is our piece-of-shit birth mother was the one who set up the whole thing. But her ass is sitting in jail now so that much is a win.”
My sweet boho girl was beaten up. She shouldn’t have been in that alley at night by herself. She should have been in Birmingham with me.
“I have to check on her.”
Lawrence probably thinks that I’ve known about this but chose to not call. She needs to know that I care.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
What the fuck does that mean? “Why not?”
“Lawry’s life is coming together again. She doesn’t need the added confusion of you thrown into the mix.”
“All I want to do is check on her and let her know I’m concerned.” And hear her sweet voice.
“It’s been a rough few months but she’s finally getting her life back together. She’s dating again. I’m afraid hearing from you will turn her world upside down again.”
What.
The.
Fuck.
“She’s dating? Who?” Fucking granola guy again?
“I don’t understand why you act so surprised. It’s been months since you told her you’d never marry her. You had to know that she’d start dating again at some point.”
“Doesn’t mean I have to accept it.” Or like it. Because I don’t. I fucking hate it.
All I can see is red as I imagine some fucker touching her. Tasting what’s mine. I don’t know if I can wait until Friday to see her.
“I’m done talking about shit that ended six months ago. Can you go to Savannah to talk to Savan Cider on Friday or not?”
“Yeah.” Wouldn’t miss it for the fucking world. “What time?”
“Eight.”
No worries. I’ll be there. “Are we spending the weekend in Savannah?”
“Wasn’t planning on it but I guess we can if you want. I sure as hell don’t have anything going on here.”
Me either. I haven’t in six months.
“I’m going to see her while we’re there.”
Oliver shakes his head at me and saunters out of the room. “Whatever.”
I have to put a stop to this dating shit. She’s mine. She has been since the first time I saw her. Always will be.
“Books appear well kept and legit. The numbers are there to support their evaluation. I predict it’ll take two years to become profitable at the rate they’re going. Wi
th our help, I think we can push that to nine months. Twelve at most.”
“Does that mean you’re in favor of buying in?”
“I’m in if you and Porter are.” Most of the work would fall on them so it’s win-win for me.
“Would you be up for Iron City buying two-thirds of Savan Cider if they sold the other third to a different investor? Or maybe even fifty-fifty depending on the purchase price?”
Oliver didn’t mention a second investor. I’m not up for that. “You said you wanted to buy a third and become partners with the founders. What’s this shit you’re dumping on me last minute about a totally new investor?”
“Savan Cider has a great basis for the brewery but not the heart for it. They’re willing to sell out cheap. I think we can get them well below asking price because they want out badly. Lawry wants in and she has the money for her part. She’s ready to invest if you say it’s a go.”
Lawrence wants to go into business with us?
With me?
“It’s a no-brainer. The numbers are there to support the purchase, but what does going into business together mean for Lawrence and me?”
“It means nothing. You’re in Birmingham. She’s in Savannah. You’ll be partners from afar.”
Oliver’s wrong. This doesn’t mean nothing. I’d be in charge of the numbers. I’d have to talk to her. See her.
“Lawrence wants this?” To be my business partner?
“She does if you believe it’s profitable.”
She’s putting her future in my hands. This is huge. And a very good sign for where our future could be going.
“Is this why you encouraged me to not call her?”
“I needed to hear your honest opinion before you knew she was the interested investor. I didn’t want you jumping at the opportunity because you thought it was a way to bring her back into your life.”
What else was he not forthcoming about?
“So she’s not dating?”
“That part is true. She’s dating restaurant guy again.”
Fuck.
There’s no reason to not push forward with this merger, but I want to see Lawrence first. “Will you take me to her apartment?”
“Are you sure that’s the best idea?”
“Yeah. I have to find out if there’s potential for a successful business partnership.” With any luck, more than a business opportunity will work out for us.
I forgo calling Lawrence but she knows we were looking at books today. She knows I’m in Savannah. Surely, she expects me to come to her.
“Want me to go up with you?”
Fuck no. I don’t want anyone around when I see Lawrence again after all of these months apart.
“I’d rather see her alone.”
“All right. I’ll go to Mom and Dad’s. Call me when you’re finished and I’ll run by to get you.”
I hope that’s not a call I have to make. “Wish me luck, bro,” I tell Oliver as he stops the truck in front of Wren’s building.
“I do, Lucas. Really.”
I’m a fucking mess as I ride up in the elevator. I haven’t seen her in over six months. What if she hates me? What if granola guy is there? Maybe I should have called first.
It’s too late for all of my doubts. I’m standing in front of her door.
I tap and wait. I can’t remember ever feeling so damn nauseous in my life.
Lawrence opens the door, and I immediately know that Oliver didn’t call to warn her about my visit when I hear the way she says my name. “Lucas?”
“I’m sorry for not calling. I assumed you would be expecting me after the meeting with Savan Cider.”
“Umm, I was waiting to hear from Ollie about the books. I thought we’d probably schedule a business meeting for tomorrow if things looked promising.”
Of course that’s what she expected. Because that makes sense. Not this—not me showing up at her door without so much as a courtesy call.
“A business meeting. Of course.” I need to steer this back between the lines. “But since I’m here, do you want to talk about what I found in the books?”
Lawrence looks over her shoulder and then back at me. “Now’s not a great time. I have company.”
That’s a no. And fuck me, I think her company is him. Granola guy.
“Lawrence, should I take the risotto off the stove?” I hear a man’s voice call out from the kitchen.
Fuck. He is here with her.
“Yes, please. Thank you,” she calls back.
“You’re cooking for him.” Not me. The thought makes me insane with jealousy.
She makes no reply.
“You’ve moved on.” Without me.
She looks over her shoulder again. Making sure he isn’t there to hear her. “I waited for you to call. But you didn’t. And it broke my heart all over again.”
I’m here now. “Please tell me it’s not too late.”
“Not too late for what?”
There he is standing behind her. Granola guy. Hippie restaurant owner. Skinny with curly blond hair in a topknot. “Hey, baby. The risotto is getting sticky.”
Fuck.
The.
Risotto.
Hearing him call her baby sends me into a red-visioned rage. She’s mine, granola guy. Not yours.
“Lee, this is Lucas Broussard. He’s my brother’s business partner at Iron City. And possibly mine as well if we buy the cider company.”
Granola guy wipes his hand on a kitchen towel and comes over for a shake. “Hey, man. Good to meet you.”
There’s no recognition in his eyes. She hasn’t even mentioned me?
This guy has no idea that I’m more than her brother’s business partner. No clue how many times we’ve fucked like animals. Not an inkling that we’re in love. Or at least I thought we were.
Fuck. Am I really too late?
“Nice to meet you.”
His hand is on her lower back. I swear I’ll break it if he doesn’t take it off her in two seconds.
“Lucas was just leaving so I’m going to walk him to the elevator. Go ahead and plate dinner. I’ll be right back.”
I’m being dismissed.
“You got it, babe.”
Again with babe. Nails down a chalkboard would be less offensive. Lawrence comes out and closes the door behind us.
“What time do you want to meet?”
I don’t want to wait until tomorrow. “Call me when he leaves.”
Fuck. What if he spends the night?
Lawrence tilts her head and lifts a brow. “I meant what time do you want to have our business meeting tomorrow?”
“I know what you mean, but I want to see you tonight. Call me after granola guy leaves.”
She shakes her head. “I can’t do that.”
We both know she can. “Why not?”
“Because I don’t push one man out and bring another in through a revolving door.”
She can push granola guy out but once I’m in, I plan on staying. “It wouldn’t be like that.”
“Then what would it be like?”
“Call me and you’ll find out.”
She lowers her face and holds her forehead with her hand. Please don’t hide those beautiful blues from me, Lawrence. It’s been too long since I’ve seen them.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you were attacked. I didn’t know.”
I pull her in so her body is cocooned inside my arms. I’ve missed this smell. Feeling my body wrapped around hers. I fucked up so bad. I don’t want to go another day without this woman in my life.
“I would’ve dropped everything and come to you if I’d known.”
She clears her voice and stiffens in my arms. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Lucas.”
Another no. And another dismissal. Fuck.
I kiss the top of her head and release my hold. “All right. If that’s what you want.”
She’s going to make me work for this. And she should. I fucked up big time.
The ele
vator’s downward arrow illuminates to alert me of its arrival. I stand a few extra seconds before entering, hoping she will call me back. But she doesn’t.
I step inside and turn around. She’s still standing there staring at me. Looking so sad. And it’s all because of me. My stupidity.
I’m so sorry for the way things ended.
I wait until the very last moment, not even a full second, before the doors shut to call out, “I love you, boho girl.”
Let her think about that while she eats sticky fucking risotto with that hippie wanker.
24
Lawrence Thorn
That fucking Cajun bastard! Not a single word from him in six months. Not a call or text. I can’t believe that jackhole had the audacity to waltz his ass over to my apartment without any kind of warning and then stand there looking so damn delicious. Made me want to jump on him right then and there, despite the fact that Lee was in the next room.
Call me when he leaves. What is that about? Sex? Does he really think he can come to town after six months have passed without a bit of communication and woo me into the sack? Well, he probably—fuck, I’m not going to finish addressing that even in my head.
I love you, boho girl. I can’t believe he said that to me as the elevator doors were closing. Damn bastard.
“You’re awfully quiet all of a sudden. And you seem to have lost your appetite.”
I’ve been pushing mushroom risotto around my plate for fifteen minutes without a bite.
“Just thinking about Savan Cider. It’s a big move for me to go from a retail store to the brewery business.”
“You don’t have to lie to me, Lawrence. I know your potential partner at Savan Cider is what you’re really thinking about.”
Lee’s right and I owe him an apology. “I’m sorry. I had no idea he would show up here like that. It’s thrown me for a bit of a loop.”