by Tillie Cole
Then they both looked to me.
Because now, I too had a cult bitch. I had Maddie. I had just as much revenge in my blood for that fucked up pedo ring as the Prez and VP.
“We’ll keep watching our turf. But the game’s now changed. Landry and Governor Ayers have reach. They have half the feds on their books, we've half on ours. Could be a fucking interesting ride ahead.”
The brothers all nodded their heads. Then Styx signed. “Any other business?”
Feeling my skin twitch, I flicked my chin. “Gotta take a week, maybe more, Prez. Got business outta state I gotta take care of.”
I kept my eyes glued to Styx, but I could feel all the other brothers watching me. I’d never left the compound unless it was on Hangmen business the whole time I’d been here. This was a fucking first.
Styx frowned, then signed, “Where?”
My teeth gritted, but I forced out, “West Virginia.”
Ky sat back in his chair. “And what the fuck do y’all wanna do out in the Appalachians? Can’t think of one fucking thing that would attract me to that fucking place.”
I turned to the VP, and said, “My old man.”
Ky’s fucking pretty boy blue eyes widened, but nothing came out of his mouth. In fact, as I looked around the table, I found that all of the brothers were staring at me, mouths gaping.
Tank shifted on his seat. “You've got an old man, Flame?”
I blinked away the image of the cunt from my head, but answered, “Used to.” Tank slowly nodded his head.
Styx sat forward and signed. “Maddie going with?”
My hands clenched on the table and I spat out, “Yeah.”
Styx looked to Ky, then signed, “She gonna be protected? You gonna be spilling blood?”
“Maybe. Probably. Abso-fuckin’-lutely,” I replied. “But Maddie’s with me, by my fucking side, on my fucking bike, sleeping by my fucking side. She’s my bitch, I own her, and I decide what the fuck happens with her now, not you. That tell you enough?”
Styx’s hard face didn’t change, then he threw up his hands and signed, “Granted. You got all the time you fuckin’ need. Just don’t harm Madds. I ain’t wanting my pregnant bitch upset because her sister’s been hurt in the middle of your fuckin’ psycho rage. Yeah?”
I flicked my chin. Just as Styx went to lift the gavel, AK and Viking leaned forward. AK threw up his hand and said, “Gonna be needing that time off too, Prez.”
Styx replied, “Never fuckin’ thought otherwise.”
As Styx slammed the gavel down on the table, all the brothers filed out. But my attention was on AK and Vike, who were waiting in their seats.
Vike tapped the table with his knuckles and said, “Didn’t think you’d be going without us, did you? We’re the Psycho fucking Trio. You ain’t going nowhere alone.”
“It’s a long fucking ride,” I replied.
“To your fucking past, it seems,” AK quickly added. I watched his brown eyes narrow. “Your old man, Flame? West fucking Virginia? How the fuck you end up in Texas, from West bumfuck nowhere?”
I stared at the table and said, “Specialists for my head were in Austin, I think. I don’t know. It’s not real clear. Too many fucking drugs were in my veins. But they sent me here sometime between eight and seventeen, clearly.”
AK nodded, then asked another question. “So we gonna be slicing up your old man? This that kinda run?”
My teeth gritted and I breathed through my nose. “Yeah,” was all I could manage. “Of the worst fucking kind.”
Viking caught my eye and ran his hand down his beard. “He the reason for the…” He pointed at the blade clutched in my hand, then to the scars on my arm. I nodded my head and he sat back. “Then when the fuck do we go? I suddenly have a huge fucking hard on for West Virginia.”
“Today,” I announced.
“And your little bitch...?” Vike asked.
“Is fucking coming with,” I growled.
AK shook his head. “That’s a hard road and a long fucking ride. And from what I’m gathering, meeting Daddy Dearest ain’t gonna be a fucking picnic. You okay with her timid ass seeing you like that? Seeing you in full fucking Flame mode?”
I thought of Maddie and my chest swelled with pride. “She understands me. She understands what I gotta do. She’s stronger than she looks. She can take it.” My finger traced over a knot in the tabletop. “She knows who I am… both sides of me. She’s plenty strong enough.”
AK shook his head and huffed out a laugh. “That she fucking is, brother. A fucking pint-sized warrior.”
“Yeah, with perfect tits and ass. Fucking lottery win with that one, brother,” Viking added, his eyebrows dancing. “Who’d have thought the fucked up scarred one among us would get the hottest bitch? Life’s so fucking unfair.”
I dropped my head thinking of Maddie’s soft green eyes, and admitted, “I have to have her with me, all the time. All the fucking time.” I pounded my fist over my chest. “Can’t fucking breathe without her nearby. Need her to sleep with me. Need her to keep the flames away.” I ran my nails over the scars on my arm. “She ain’t ever leaving me again. For life, brothers. She’s mine for fucking life.”
“Fuck,” Viking whispered, “Psycho down.”
My head snapped up, but the cunt was actually smiling. AK got to his feet, dragging Viking with him. “So, Flame, we off to the land of mountains and broken dreams?”
Jumping to my feet, I hightailed it out of the clubhouse. My head twitching and hands fisting all the way to my cabin.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Maddie
“I feel strange,” I whispered as I looked at myself in the mirror.
“You look fucking hot, darlin’! Flame is gonna flip his shit when he sees you all leathered up.”
I stared at the girl in the mirror. The girl wearing tight leather pants, a black sweater and a snug leather jacket, complemented with black boots. My hair was tied back in a French braid. I could not stop staring.
“Long fucking ride to West V, Madds. You need all the damn protection you can get.” I turned to see Letti loafing on Mae’s sofa.
Beauty handed me a saddlebag filled with more leathers and clean clothes. “Should be more than enough for you there, sweetie. I got you hooked up real good.”
“Thank you,” I replied, and moved back to the opposite sofa where Lilah and Mae were sitting. Lilah was smiling up at me, but I could detect concern in Mae's frown.
“I will be fine, Mae,” I hushed. Mae got to her feet. She was pale with morning sickness, but she forced a smile.
“I know you will. I just feel… you know. I guess I have always felt protective of you, Maddie. And seeing you go off with Flame to the other side of the country, fills me with too many nerves to control.”
My stomach tightened on seeing her worry, but with more emphasis I said, “I have to go, Mae. He needs this. He needs this to move on. Just as we all have. And I will do anything to make that happen. You would do it for Styx.” In turn, I looked to Lilah, Beauty and Letti. “And you would do it for Ky, and Tank, and Bull. Yes?”
All of them chorused, “Yes.”
Mae put her hands on my arms and I looked into her blue eyes. “Mae. You and Bella always treated me more like a daughter than a sister. Which is strange, because you are not much older than I.”
Mae teared up, but managed to say, “It was because you were so young when you were awakened. Moses was… he was…”
I gripped Mae’s hands in mine and said, “I know, sister. I know my lack of affection, and my constant silence, gave you cause to worry.” I looked down and tried to remember the girl I was, in the commune. My heart clenched and I confessed, “And I know I was broken. I now know that.” A flutter of butterflies filled my chest, but I managed to assert, “I am broken no more. I am strong… strong with Flame by my side.”
Mae stared at me, then whispered, “I can see that, sister.”
Lilah joined us, and her blue eyes glimme
red, “You were always strong, Maddie. We always saw it. But now you do too.”
Lilah pressed a kiss to my cheek. Just then we heard sniffing behind us. We turned as one to witness Beauty wiping her eyes. When she saw us staring, she cast a look of incredulity. “What?” she asked, evidently exasperated. “Because of you fuckers I’m gonna have to take in stocks of waterproof mascara. I never fucking cried so much in my friggin’ life!”
Behind Beauty, Letti muttered, “Pussy”, earning a scowl from her best friend.
A knock sounded on the door and Lilah went to open it. I had just retrieved the saddlebag from the floor, when Flame entered the room. As always, on seeing his wide shoulders and naked torso, I forgot how to breathe. Flame’s expression was always heated when he saw me. But this time, his gaze dropped slowly and deliberately to roam over my body. His nostrils flared, hands fisting by his side.
For several long seconds he did not move. Shivers quickly built between my thighs, and I uttered one precious whispered word, “Flame.”
The sound of his name escaping my lips was the encouragement he needed to pound across the small space separating us, to stand right before me. I tilted my head back to drink in his impressive height. His chest was working hard. Flame’s hands slowly came down to rest gently upon my face. He slowly lowered his head to carefully press his soft lips to mine. My eyes drifted to a close on contact. I filled with light when the rumble of a groan reverberated within his broad chest.
When Flame broke the kiss, his forehead gently kissed mine, and he rasped, “You look… Shit, Maddie, you look beautiful.”
And the light within me blazed brighter.
Feeling a blush caress my cheeks, I placed my hand on his chest and whispered, “Thank you.”
Inhaling a deep breath, Flame dropped his arms and clasped my hand in his. “You ready?” he asked, and I nodded. Flame took the saddlebag from my hand and we turned to leave.
Beauty was wiping away more tears, and with humor she muttered, “Yeah, really need that fucking waterproof mascara.”
“I shall see you when I return,” I promised to Mae and Lilah. After they had both pressed a kiss to my cheek, we left Mae’s house and walked toward our cabin.
I could feel Flame continually looking at me. Every time he did so, his hand squeezed mine. Fighting a smile that he found me so desirable in these clothes, I asked, “Was Styx okay about us leaving?”
“Yeah,” Flame grunted. “AK and Viking are coming too. They wouldn’t stay behind.”
I allowed that smile to escape; my face lit up on hearing this news. Leaning my head to rest on his arm, I confirmed, “Of course not. They love you too.” Flame’s arm tensed, then gradually relaxed.
As we broke through the line of trees, AK and Viking were waiting by their bikes, both smoking. When we reached them, Viking sat up and withdrew the cigarette from his mouth. “Fuck me, Little One…” he trailed off as he pointed his finger at me from head to foot with his cigarette. “You, and fucking leather, are a match made in cowhide heaven.”
Flame’s muscles went rigid at the comment, but before he could move forward, AK grabbed Viking’s arm and reminded him, “Just because the brother ain’t cutting shit outta himself no more, don’t mean he can’t fucking cut you. Now ante up, dumb ass. We’re outta here.”
Flame attached my bag to his bike, then climbed on. I climbed on behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Flame started his engine. Just before we set off, he turned his head and pressed his lips to mine in the briefest of kisses.
As he pulled out onto the dirt road, I placed my chin on his shoulder and whispered, “I love you too.”
*****
We rode for two days. We camped out last night, and would do so again tonight. My body ached with the unfamiliarity of riding on a bike. Every time I wanted to stop, every time I wanted to return home, I reminded myself that this was all for Flame. It was his best hope for the peace he had afforded me. He too deserved peace. And every time I repeated this mantra to myself, I could rise above the aches, the numbness, and the pain.
The fear of what lay ahead.
Night had fallen, the stars were bright and glittering against the backdrop of an ink black sky. Flame veered left onto a secluded and dark country road. I held him tighter as the bike jiggled over the graveled path. Then my tiring eyes widened as they landed on a wide lake. The full moon hung in the sky and cast bright beams of light, which shimmered on the still water.
Flame drove us a little bit further into the coverage of the trees, then slowly drew the bike to a halt. My thighs throbbed with the long hours of sitting in the same position. Flame moved off the bike first, then turning round, he lifted me off the saddle. His strong arms held me in the air, and as he placed me down on the crisp ground, he pulled me to his lips. When he broke away from my mouth, my cheeks filled with heat.
Flame’s leather-gloved hands lifted and his finger brushed over the apple of my cheek. “You liked that I did that,” he rasped. It was a statement he now knew to be true.
Turning my head to greet his hand, I replied, “I like it more every time you do it.”
Flame leaned down and kissed me again. My hands lifted to wrap around his neck. This time when he pulled back, he said, “Then I’ll do it more.”
“Yo, Flame! I got a fire going, and I’m grilling. Let’s eat, then get some shuteye. We got to hit the address Tanner got us for your old man by early morning. We all know it’s gonna be some fucking day,” Viking called from near the water.
We ate in near silence by the fire. Afterwards, Flame laid out a pallet for us to sleep upon. He pulled me into his arms as soon as our exhausted bodies hit the makeshift bed. In a matter of minutes I could hear the heavy breathing of AK and Viking, sleeping at the other side of the fire. But Flame’s tense body, and his quick inhales and exhales, betrayed that he was awake.
Feeling his heart race, I raised my head and lay over his chest to meet his eyes. Flame had been staring at the cloudless sky, but when he felt me move, he looked to me. He was troubled.
Lifting my finger to run across the worry lines on his forehead, I asked, “What is wrong?”
Flame’s lips parted and a slow controlled breath poured out. His arms threaded around my back and held me impossibly close. At first I did not think he was going to speak then, unexpectedly, he confessed, “I’ve killed before.”
I froze, and pulling my eyebrows down, I stated, “I know. You killed Brother Moses.”
“But I’ve killed a shit ton more. A shit ton, Maddie.” His eyes flicked away, then looked back. “And I’ve liked it. I… fuck… I like it. I like killing. There’s just something in me, Maddie, that wants to kill. That has to. I can’t imagine it ever going away. I think… I think all that was done to me as a kid made me need to kill.”
Dropping my hand, I pulled myself further up his body, and said, “But only bad people. Yes? You only need to kill the ones that do bad things?”
Flame shrugged. “It’s always our—the club’s—enemies. Men we use to get information. People that fuck the club over.” His chin nudged in my direction. “People who fuck with you.”
My stomach turned at the slightest thought of taking a person’s life. Flame’s hand touched my face, his gaze searching mine. “What are you thinking, Maddie? Your face has changed but I don’t know what your expression fucking means.”
Sighing, I responded with the truth. “I cannot imagine taking someone else’s life. I know it is the way of the Hangmen; Mae and Lilah have explained this to me many times. But… I do not know. I do not know that if it came to it, I would have been able to take Brother Moses’ life. I do not believe that it is within me to kill another human being, no matter how deserved. I suppose… I suppose it makes me wonder what is within you to actually go through with it. What goes through your mind to want to do it?”
Flame was silent for many long seconds. The arm remaining on my waist increased its grip, then he whispered, “Him. Every time I kill,
I’m fucking killing him. I see him in place of them. I fuck them up. I hack them to fucking pieces with my knife, but I’m only seeing him. Every time I kill, I kill him in my head... for my mama... for Isaiah… for me… for what he turned me into. For what he fucking did to me in that cellar.”
And just like that, my heart clenched on receiving his confession. At the pain he must harbor in his heart, caused by the man he thought he could trust. Stroking my hand through his hair, I said, “You are a good man, Flame. You were dealt a bad hand.”
He shook his head. “I’m fucking not, Maddie. I’m a killer. Deep down I like to kill, because of him. I’m as fucked up as he is. I like to cause people pain.”
“No,” I argued, but Flame froze beneath me. “Flame!” I whispered louder.
When his eyes slowly turned back to me, he asked, brokenly, “What if he is there tomorrow?”
And my heart broke again. Flame reached up and held onto my wrist, and he elaborated, “What if we get to that fucking house tomorrow and he’s there? What if he’s still in that fucking house? Still fucking living and breathing like nothing ever happened? Still fucking going to that bastard church? Not even caring about the shit that he’s done? Not caring what he made me into?”
Flame’s eyes had grown impossibly wide. He swallowed hard. And then I knew. I knew that he was awake and fretting, because he was terrified. Although he did not show the emotion on his face or in his voice, I knew that real fear was coursing through his veins. And I realized that it was probably the first time in many years that he had felt this particular emotion. He was Flame from the Hangmen. He was the brother most feared by their enemies. The one that cut people up with his skillful blades.
But right now he was scared.
I tried to imagine how I would feel if Brother Moses were to suddenly walk out of the trees, at this very moment. I could feel shivers accosting my body, just at this brief thought. But for Flame, in the morning, his tormentor may very well stare him in the face. And he was frightened. Flame, my strong huge protector, was terrified at the very thought.