by Maya Banks
“I couldn’t not do anything,” she said defensively. “Eliza helped me. She was there because of me. Being tortured because of me.”
She couldn’t control the pain in her voice and she broke off, averting her gaze from Zack.
“For whatever reasons, my powers reasserted themselves when Eliza needed us the most. Maybe it was God’s way of saving her. I don’t know. But I knew that between me, Ramie and Ari we could find and save Eliza, and I was not going to just sit there while they killed an innocent woman. Especially a woman who has given so much of herself for others.”
Zack smiled ruefully. “I shouldn’t have even asked. Of course you would. You’re incapable of turning a blind eye to anyone in need.”
He caught her gaze and again she was consumed in a wave of so much love that she trembled under its force.
“You’re still my Gracie,” he whispered. “You haven’t changed a single bit from that beautiful girl I fell in love with so many years ago. That I still love. Will always love.”
She stared at him in shock, incapable of responding. How could she respond? What was she supposed to say?
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. It just remained open as she stared helplessly at him.
He pressed a gentle finger to her lips. “Shhh. Not now. You don’t have to say anything right now. It will wait. Until we’re home and I can explain everything.”
The door to her room opened and a nurse came in smiling at Gracie. “Are you ready to go home? I have your discharge instructions and your prescriptions. As soon as I take out your IV, you’ll be all set. Just make sure you go straight home and rest. No strenuous activity whatsoever. If you put any strain on those stitches, they’ll come out, and we don’t want that happening.”
The rest was a blur because all Anna-Grace could focus on were Zack’s words. The vow in his voice. The utter sincerity ringing in his words. And how very close she’d come to telling him she loved him too.
And if that wasn’t messed up, she didn’t know what was.
THIRTY-FOUR
THE drive home was silent and strained. Anna-Grace kept looking sideways at Zack but he stared straight ahead, his hands clenched tightly around the steering wheel. His anxiety was palpable and once again she was struck by the vulnerability he displayed.
The crazy thing was that she wanted to reach over, take his hand and tell him it would be all right. That everything would be all right. But she couldn’t tell him what she didn’t know to be absolute truth.
And so she sat, as silent as him, and willed the drive to go faster.
She recognized the safe house as they pulled in. The same place they’d taken her after she’d been abducted. No other cars were there, which meant they would be alone. She swallowed nervously as Zack firmly told her to stay put. Then he got out and walked around to her side and opened the door.
He helped her out, careful not to jar her shoulder, and then he wrapped his arm around her waist and they walked slowly to the front door. Once inside he led her into the living room and settled her at an angle on the couch so she wasn’t leaning back against her stitches.
And then he began to pace. For a long while he was silent as though he were collecting his thoughts and deciding what to say. Sensing just how important this was, she waited quietly, watching for when he would begin.
He dragged a hand through his hair and finally turned to her, his eyes raw and ravaged with grief and sorrow.
“I shouldn’t put you through this right now. God knows it’s the worst possible time. You’ve been through hell and here I am about to put you back through hell all over again. But I can’t wait, Gracie. Because every day that passes that you believe I did something so repulsive and . . . evil . . . a part of me dies. I’m a bastard for doing this and I hope you can forgive me when all is said and done, but I’m a bastard who loves you with every breath in my body. And I can’t, I just can’t let you believe the worst of me a minute longer.”
She sucked in her breath because yes, now she could read his mind, when before she couldn’t. And she could sense undying sincerity. And love. His thoughts were chaotic, a jumbled mass of pain, anger and regret. But at the forefront of everything was love. For her.
And he’d always loved her. He’d never stopped. Oh God. Had she been wrong? Had she done this to them by not having faith in him?
“Tell me,” she managed to say. “I have to know. I need to know.”
And so Zack related every single detail of his trip to Tennessee. His confrontation with Stuart and then with his father. And finally the other two men involved. She was already numb, completely frozen by all he said, but then he took his phone out of his pocket and placed it on the coffee table in front of her before sitting down beside her on the couch.
“If it’s too much, just tell me to stop. If it upsets you or hurts you too much, it stops. But this is proof, Gracie. In their own words. Stuart’s confession. My father’s. I didn’t bother with the others. I was too bent on killing them.”
Anna-Grace swung her gaze to him in alarm. “You didn’t.”
There was a savage fire in Zack’s eyes. “I wanted to. God, I wanted to. But no, I didn’t. I wouldn’t doubt they spent a few days in the hospital though.”
She stared at the phone as though it were a snake prepared to strike. Could she do this? Could she listen to the details of her rape all over again?
And then sudden peace descended and settled over her. Yes. She was ready. Because if what Zack said was true, then that recording absolved him of any participation in the crime. And if that was also true, then she’d made a terrible, terrible mistake that they’d both paid for over a very long time.
“Play it,” she said hoarsely.
Slowly Zack reached over and pressed a button on his phone. She flinched when Stuart’s voice filled the room. She closed her eyes, trying to shut out the instant bombardment of images from that day.
When the recording got to Zack’s conversation with his father, she knotted her fist and it flew to her mouth, pressing deeply as she tried to prevent her sounds of pain from escaping.
Somewhere in the midst of it all, Zack’s arm slid gently around her waist and he pulled her to his chest, gently rocking her back and forth as the vile words his father had spewed rang in her ears.
“Stop! It’s enough!” she cried.
Zack immediately ended the recording and then turned to Anna-Grace with dread and so much pain in his eyes.
He slid to the floor in front of her, getting on his knees, taking both her hands in his.
“I am so sorry, Gracie,” he said, tears glimmering in his eyes. “I left you unprotected. I allowed this to happen to you. I should have taken you with me or just stayed with you and not gone away to college. I don’t know that you’ll ever be able to forgive me. God, I can’t forgive myself. But I’ve never stopped loving you. I’ve never stopped looking for you. I’ve never stopped hoping that one day we’d be together again.”
Tears slipped hotly down Anna-Grace’s cheeks. Oh God. So much time wasted. So many years. If only . . . There were so many if-onlys. And no way to take back the past. No way to undo it all and start all over again.
Or could they?
“How do you not hate me?” she said in a stricken voice. “I didn’t trust in you. I’ve hated you for twelve years. I said horrible, horrible things to you. Oh God.”
She yanked her hands from Zack’s and covered her face as sobs welled from her throat.
Zack was there in an instant, enfolding her in his strong embrace. He simply held her, rocking her and brushing kisses over the top of her head.
Then he gently pried her hands away from her face and slowly lowered his mouth until it hovered just over hers. And he pressed his lips so very gently to hers.
It was a sense of homecoming so powerful, so overwhelming that it very nearly shattered her composure. Nothing had ever been so sweet. Not before. His lips moved with exquisite tenderness until her lips parted and hi
s tongue brushed against hers.
She inhaled deeply, taking in his scent, oh so familiar and haunting. And she kissed him back, allowing all her grief, sorrow, regret and . . . love . . . to bleed into that kiss.
“I could never hate you, Gracie,” Zack said against her lips. “Never. I’ve always loved you. I always will. Can you forgive the past? Will you give me another chance to make things right between us? I swear to you I’ll spend the rest of my life making you happy. Protecting you. Loving you. And our children.”
She leaned forward, pressing her forehead to his as more tears slid down her cheeks. “I have nothing to give you, Zack. They took it. I had nothing. I was nothing. All I had that was precious to me was my virginity. That was all I could give you when you gave so much to me. And they took that. How could you want me after what they did?”
“Oh baby, no,” Zack said in an aching voice.
He pulled her away so he could look her in the eye, but she couldn’t meet his gaze. He tipped her chin upward with his finger until she was forced to look at him.
“Read my mind right now, Gracie. See inside the heart of me. And then you tell me that I don’t love you. That I don’t want you with every breath in my body.”
She hesitated, a little afraid to hope. But his gaze was steady and sure and his eyes so very warm and loving.
She released the tight constraints she’d put in place and allowed herself into his mind and she was immediately flooded by a wave of love so strong that she swayed. There was so much he was thinking. About their future. Their wedding. The children they’d one day have. And how he looked forward to waking up every single day with her next to him.
It was simply too much.
She leaned into him again, grasping him tightly as though she feared he’d simply disappear. Her sobs were raw and horrible sounding. Guttural, coming from the very depths of her soul.
“I’m sorry,” she said in a terrible voice. “I’m so sorry, Zack. Oh God, I’m sorry. You should hate me. I didn’t trust you. I wasted so many years hating you for something you never did. And yet you ask me for forgiveness.”
Zack stroked her hair and then buried his face in the strands and she felt the warmth of his own tears against her head.
“There is nothing to forgive, Gracie. We were set up. Of course you believed that I orchestrated it. That’s what they wanted. They are to blame. Not you. Not me.”
She lifted her head, her vision watery as she stared back at him.
“I love you,” she whispered. “I never stopped loving you. Even when I hated you, a part of me knew I’d always love you and mourn the loss of what we had.”
Zack seemed to crumble before her very eyes. Profound relief and for the first time . . . hope . . . shone in his eyes.
He cupped her face in his hands and his expression became very serious.
“You didn’t give them your virginity, Gracie. They took it. They took something very precious, but you know what? Virginity is more than a thin barrier that proclaims a woman’s innocence. And on our wedding night, when you give yourself to me, you will have given me a gift more precious than any other. Because it will be our first time. Together. And just as we were going to wait before, I want to wait now. Until you’re my wife. I want our first time together to be as man and wife.”
She stared at him in wonderment. “Are you asking me to marry you?”
He laughed, though it sounded more like choked emotion. “Apparently not very well.”
He went back to one knee and gathered her hands in his, his expression somber and so very serious.
“Gracie, will you marry me? Will you live with me and love me until this life is over and the next begins? Will you have my children and fulfill all the dreams we ever dreamed?”
She pulled one hand free and cupped it against Zack’s bristly, unshaven jaw. For the first time in so very long, she felt . . . free. Happy. Optimistic. As though a terrible wrong had been righted and the world was as it should be once more.
“Oh yes,” she breathed. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Zack. I love you. I’ll always love you.”
He pulled her into his arms, ever mindful of her shoulders, and he simply held her as his body heaved against her. “Thank God,” he whispered. “Thank God.”
She closed her eyes, absorbing the sense of rightness, feeling true peace for the first time in twelve long years.
“I don’t want to wait,” he said gruffly. “But I also want you to have the wedding we always planned. I won’t have it any other way. We’ll invite our friends here, but we’re getting married in a church, by a preacher, and you are definitely wearing white.”
“How about we wait just long enough that I get these stitches out,” she said with a smile. “It would kind of suck not to have our wedding night because I’m still recuperating.”
He smiled back at her and suddenly she saw the boy she’d fallen in love with when she was just a young girl. It was as if the years fell away and his eyes glowed with happiness and renewed hope.
“Deal,” he said. “Besides, it’ll take that long to plan a proper wedding, and I plan to pull out all the stops.”
THIRTY-FIVE
“WHY am I so nervous?” Gracie asked breathlessly, as butterflies scuttled around her belly.
She stared into the full-length mirror and saw a woman she didn’t recognize. And yet, she also saw a sixteen-year-old girl who was finally getting the day she’d dreamed of.
Eliza and Ari flanked Gracie, their smiles broad and their eyes sparkling with excitement and happiness. It was contagious. No one in the small bridal room of the church was immune to the electric current of joy.
“You look beautiful,” Eliza said, a sheen of moisture reflecting wetly in her eyes.
“Don’t you dare make me cry, Eliza!” Ari admonished, scrunching her face in various ways to prevent her own eyes from tearing. “Weddings always make me cry, and this one more than most.”
Gracie did her own blinking and then held her eyes wide open to dry. Her hair and makeup was perfect, but then it had taken over an hour to get it that way. And she wanted to look her absolute best when she walked down the aisle to Zack. Finally to Zack.
At the mere thought of him, the butterflies swarmed again, giving her a slight queasiness that had her breathing in through her nose.
“You’re not going to puke, are you?” Eliza asked anxiously. “Because that dress is just too gorgeous to be puked on. I’ll wrap you in a garbage bag if I have to, but the dress must be saved!”
Ramie and Ari laughed and Ramie poked her head between the mirror and Gracie, giving Gracie a final once-over, her brow furrowed in concentration as she studied every detail of Gracie’s appearance.
Then Ramie smiled. “You’re all set.”
She reached for Gracie’s hand and gathered it tightly in hers. When Gracie put her other hand on top of Ramie’s and squeezed back—a gesture of thanks and unity—Ari and Eliza put their hands over Gracie’s and the four women stood there in solidarity.
The last few months hadn’t been the easiest. DSS had made three hits on facilities utilized by the fanatical group that had caused Ari, Gracie and Eliza so much pain. And not only had Gracie, Ari and Ramie been left behind to worry for the men of DSS, but they’d had to worry about Eliza as well, because she’d refused to be left behind.
Only one man had been taken back, shoved before Gracie under the guise of her identifying him. She hadn’t even had to have him questioned. His defeat and rage over their entire organization coming down at DSS’s instigation was as clear as if he’d said his thoughts aloud.
Gracie had merely nodded at Zack, Dane and Beau and then closed her eyes, her hands trembling. It had been over then.
She opened her eyes and once more she was in the bridal room, her dearest and only friends all gathered around her, staring back at their reflection in the mirror.
“Surely this is the granddaddy of all selfie opportunities?” Eliza announced. “No one move!”
Eliza reached back and fumbled with her phone and then inserted it in front of them, angling it and lifting it so it captured as much of them in the photo as possible.
“Think I’ll send this to Zack now,” Eliza said with an impish grin. “It’ll drive him crazy.”
“The groom is not supposed to see the bride before the wedding,” Ari reprimanded.
Ramie snorted. “He drove her to the church this morning. While Zack is refreshingly traditional in many ways I wouldn’t have expected, not seeing his bride for any extended period of time is not one he’s going to be down with.”
The other women laughed and Eliza sobered, once more gripping Gracie’s hand.
“He went far too long without seeing the woman he loved,” Eliza whispered. “One can’t blame him for not ever wanting to do it again.”
“She’s going to make me cry,” Ramie muttered in disgust. “Who would have thought our Lizzie was such a romantic?”
A knock sounded on the door, causing the women to jump and then they dissolved into laughter. Eliza sent a sheepish look toward the door and hung back.
“I’ll, uh, let one of you get that. It’ll be Wade, come for Gracie no doubt. He still hasn’t exactly forgiven me for the incident involving his arm, so, uh, I’ll just stay out of his sight for now,” Eliza hedged.
Ramie snorted and she and Ari both opened the door to reveal Wade, who was indeed standing there, an expectant look on his face. Gracie pressed her lips together as her gaze slid over the sling wrapped around his left arm. She glanced sideways to Ari and Ramie, hoping for help. The last thing she wanted to do was even send a half smile in Wade’s direction.
But they were no help. The traitors. Ari actually turned her head and Ramie was making suspicious noises behind the hand covering her mouth.
Wade scowled at all of them, which only caused Ramie and Ari to lose what little control they had left and they burst out laughing.
Traitors.
“So much for their makeup,” Gracie muttered.
“I have no idea what the hell’s so funny anyway,” Wade growled.
Gracie managed to keep a straight face. Barely.
Wade had been pissed when Eliza insisted on being part of the takedown. He’d dressed her and her DSS coworkers down and when that didn’t work, he somehow managed to finagle his way onto the team since in his words none of them had “the goddamn sense God gave a mule.”
Convinced that Eliza was going to get herself killed, Wade had shadowed her every movement, in the process driving Eliza absolutely insane. And in the end, Wade ended up taking a bullet meant for Eliza, hence the bandaged arm and sling. He wasn’t pleased to say the least, nor had he let Eliza forget about it.
“Tell the little coward that she’s going to miss the ceremony if she doesn’t come out of hiding,” Wade said loudly.
He also knew just how to push her buttons.
Gracie exchanged sighs and aggrieved looks with the other women, and Gracie pulled at Wade to get him out of the doorway before the explosion from Eliza that was sure to come.
Once in the vestibule, all ribbing was forgotten and even Eliza came out to hurriedly arrange Gracie’s dress. When all was perfect, the three women lined up in front of Gracie and the doors were opened partway—enough for them to walk through without revealing Gracie behind them to the occupants of the church.
Wade squeezed Gracie’s hand, her arm looped through his, her hand resting on his palm.
“You look beautiful, sweetheart,” he murmured. “Zack is one lucky son of a gun.”
She smiled radiantly up at him, her eyes going moist with a sheen of tears. “Thank you, Wade. For everything.”
He leaned down and brushed his lips across her cheek and anchored her arm more firmly against his body.
“You ready?” he whispered. “That’s our cue.”
Gracie sucked in a deep breath, squared her shoulders and squeezed his hand.
“Ready,” she said, lifting her head as the doors opened to her future and finally closed on her past.
Zack stood at the front of the church, fingers balled into tight fists as Ramie, Ari and Eliza slowly walked down the aisle and then took their places across from where he stood. Behind him, standing for him, were Beau, Caleb and Dane.