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by Ashley Jade
“Who punched him?” a man asks.
Sawyer glares at me…looking more pissed than I’ve ever seen her.
Shit. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to come here and be the knight in shining armor.
Not the villain who ruined the wedding.
But that’s what I do.
Even when I try to do the right thing, I always end up doing the wrong thing.
And fucking up everything.
Through the chaos, Oakley grabs me. “Run.”
So I do.
Chapter 79
Cole
“Abbott is a stupid fucking name,” I mutter before I take a sip of my water.
I wish it was something stronger, but the hotel bar IDs and I don’t have my fake.
The reception ended about an hour ago…around the same time they carted Abbott off in an ambulance because he was feeling dizzy.
I wanted to make things right with Sawyer, but she was too busy with Abbott, her sister having a meltdown over the fight, and cleaning up.
Plus, the look she gave me when I tried to approach her made it clear I was the last person she wanted to talk to.
So here I am, in the hotel bar. Feeling sorry for myself.
“Stupid name or not, you still shouldn’t have punched him,” Jace says. “You know Sawyer would never cheat on you.”
I do, but I wasn’t thinking rationally.
The possessive arm around her waist was a not-so-subtle warning for me to keep away from his girl.
Only Sawyer isn’t his girl. She’s mine.
However, in that moment, all I could think about was losing her to some asshole who fit the perfect description of the guy her parents wanted her to settle down with.
“I fucked up.” I swallow the rest of my water and ask the bartender for a refill. “I keep fucking up.”
Jace squeezes my shoulder. “I’m sure she’ll forgive you. Just give her some time to cool off.” He rises off the bar stool. “I’m fucking shot, man. I’m gonna head upstairs and get some sleep.”
After an impromptu thirty-eight-hour road trip, he deserves one.
“I’ll be up in a little while.” He’s about to leave, but I halt him. “Thanks for…you know.”
Bailing my ass out. Like he always does.
He knocks his fist against mine. “You’re my brother, asshole.”
With that, he takes off.
“Drinking your sorrows away at the bar, huh?” Sawyer’s father drawls as he takes a seat at the empty bar stool beside me.
I shake the ice in my empty glass. “Water.”
“Good. Hopefully that means you won’t be knocking anyone else out tonight.”
Here we go.
“If you’re expecting an apol—”
“For punching Abbott Carney? Hell no. I’ve wanted to do that ever since Sawyer came home crying because that son-of-a-bitch kissed her but pretended it was Catherine.”
“Yeah, she told me about that.” My hand tightens around the glass. I should have done more damage. “Asshole.”
His eyebrows rise. “He ain’t the only one.”
“Can I get you anything?” the bartender questions as she hands me my water.
“Bourbon.”
“Sure thing.”
He takes a long sip from the glass she hands him before he speaks. “Why didn’t you just come here to start with? And don’t you give me no baloney about a hurricane.”
Fucking hell. “Because I’m an idiot.”
“Well, hot damn. That ego of yours can be pushed aside after all.” He studies me for a solid minute before he says, “I can’t believe your stupid ass drove thirty-eight hours.”
“I had help,” I admit. “My best friend Oakley and my brother Jace split the drive with me.”
He nods. “Sounds like you got some stand-up people in your life.”
I do.
A long sigh leaves him. Like he’s resigned. “I’m pretty sure I already know the answer, but why did you end up coming? Sawyer was disappointed by your absence, sure. But she wasn’t so broken up about it, she wouldn’t have forgiven you…eventually.”
“That’s just it. I didn’t want to make another mistake that she’d have to forgive me for.”
Because I love her.
And I’m so tired of being a fuck-up.
He takes another lengthy sip of his drink. “Hell, boy. Making mistakes is a big part of loving somebody.”
“I don’t follow.”
“You think love is perfect? Like one of those fairytales?” He shakes his head. “Hell no. Love is hard…difficult. It’s dealing with someone’s shit day in and day out but never giving up on them because your heart won’t let you. It’s having a million reasons to leave them…but always having one good reason to stay.”
I guess I never thought about it like that before. I never thought about it at all.
“How do I fix this?”
“Young man, do I look like a therapist with all the answers? I have no idea.” He downs the rest of his drink. “But I reckon you should probably start by talking to her instead of me.”
The man has a point. “Good idea.”
Another resigned sigh. “You’re a real asshole, Covington.”
And here I thought our conversation was going so well.
“I have my moments.”
He orders another drink from the bartender. “She’s sharing a room with one of Catherine’s bridesmaids. Room 227.”
I start to leave, but he grabs my arm. “So help me God, if I find you in her bed again, I will shoot your ass this time.”
No, he won’t.
But even if he did, Sawyer’s worth it.
Chapter 80
Sawyer
“Does this look okay?”
My head snaps up as Clementine—yes, that’s her actual name—walks out of the bathroom.
She’s wearing sexy red lingerie complete with a garter belt and fishnet stockings.
Damn. All I had on underneath my dress was a decent bra and a reliable pair of Spanx.
I’ve known the girl since I was five given she’s Catherine’s best friend and all, but it’s still awkward having her stand in front of me in nothing but her underwear.
However, there’s no denying she looks beautiful, so I tell her so.
“You look gorgeous, but it’s a little…um, excessive…for bed. Don’t you think?”
Tossing her long blonde hair over her shoulder, she laughs. “You are so cute.” She cups one hand over her mouth, even though there’s no one else in our hotel room. “I met a guy at the wedding.”
Good for her. “That’s awesome.”
She starts throwing various things into a tote bag. Hmm.
“I guess you won’t be spending tonight in here?”
Placing the bag on the bed, she shimmies into a little black dress. “No, he’s only in town for the night. Evidently, one of his buddies was having a little girl trouble, so he suggested they drive here so his friend could fix things with her.” She places her hand over her heart. “Gosh, I just love a man who’s compassionate toward others.” She walks over to my bed. “Can you zip me up?”
“Sure.”
Shifting in bed, I drag the zipper up the back of her dress. “One night, huh? That sucks.”
“I know.” She steps into a pair of red heels. “Normally I wouldn’t do something like this, but he’s so different from anyone I’ve ever met before. Really open and outgoing…but deep, too. Almost philosophical.” Her eyebrows dance. “He also seems really adventurous, if you catch my drift.”
I catch it, all right.
“That’s awesome. I’m happy for you.”
Her smile is so bright, it rivals the sun. “Me too. I really think he could be the one.”
I don’t want to be a negative Nancy, so I clamp my mouth shut.
Besides, who knows? He just might be.
“Well, if you need anything, just call me.”
She air kisses m
y cheek. “By the way, I meant to tell you earlier. You look so good, girl. No wonder you had guys fighting over you during the reception.”
Not really something I want to think about right now. It was so bad, Catherine publicly scolded me for inviting Cole in the first place.
She was throwing such a fit, Mama actually came to my defense and told her to pipe down and eat some wedding cake.
It worked like a charm though, because the second Catherine had some carbs in her system, she apologized for acting like a spoiled brat.
Feeling uncomfortable, I look down at the carpet. “Yeah.”
Clementine’s practically skipping to the door, but I halt her. “Can you describe him? Just in case anything happens.”
I’ve watched enough crime shows to know I should get some deets on the guy before she spends the night with him.
She blinks. “Oh. Well, I mean he’s gorgeous of course. Kind of reminds me of a surfer actually. Tall, dirty blonde hair, mysterious blue eyes.” She cups her hand over her mouth again. “Smells like weed.”
Wait a minute. Nah. It can’t be.
“What’s his name?”
Tapping her chin with her pointer finger, she thinks about this. “I don’t remember exactly. I know it’s a bit strange.”
Says the girl whose name is Clementine.
“He’s named after a tree, I think.”
Well, shit.
“Oakley?” I all but screech.
“Yeah, that’s it.” She blows me a kiss as she opens the door. “Have a good night, sweetie. I’ll be back in the morning.”
“Wai—”
It slams shut before I can stop her. Dammit.
A moment later, I hear a knock.
She must have forgotten her key. Which means I still have time to stop her from hopping on the Oakley train.
I turn the doorknob. “Don’t have sex with Oakley—”
I feel like I just got the wind knocked out of me when I see Cole on the other side. His tie is undone, his suit jacket is long gone, there are circles under his eyes, and his dark hair is disheveled.
Yet, he’s still so heart-stoppingly good looking, I almost forget I’m mad at him.
Cole’s eyebrows shoot up. “I wasn’t planning on it, but thanks for the warning.”
“What are you doing here?”
His eyes sear through me. “I don’t want you to marry Abbott Carney and have his baby.”
Say what now?
“Wh—”
He takes a step forward. “I want you to marry me and have my babies.” His Adam’s apple bobs. “Not because I deserve you, but because I’m so in love with you I’ll never stop fighting for you…for us.”
I’m pretty sure my jaw hits the floor.
Emotion clogs my throat. “Cole—”
“I’m sorry I ruined the wedding. I’m sorry I push you away when you get too close. I’m sorry I keep fucking things up. I wish I could say I’ll stop, but the truth is I’ll probably fuck up a million more times…but one thing I’ll never do is stop loving you. Ever.” He punches the spot above his heart. “You weren’t supposed to get in here, but you did.” He cups my face. “And now you’re stuck.”
My heart feels like it’s going to explode right out of my chest.
“Good. Because that’s exactly where I want to be stuck.”
“I love you,” he whispers against my mouth. “So fucking much.”
His kiss is like breathing air after you’ve been suffocating.
A beautiful rainbow after a horrible storm.
Your first piece of chocolate after a grueling diet.
His kiss is everything.
Wrapping an arm around my lower back, he kicks the door closed behind him.
And just like that, our kiss goes from gentle and sweet…to passionate and all-consuming.
A raindrop to a tidal wave.
“I love you,” he repeats, mapping kisses down the column of my throat.
“I love you, too.”
I love him so much, just the thought of ever being without him is enough to stop my world from spinning.
But it won’t…because he’s here.
And no matter how much we screw this thing up…we’ll always find our way back to each other.
Because what we have is real.
“I can’t believe you drove here,” I say, recalling what Clementine told me. “You could have just taken a plane.”
“God, not you too.” He seizes my chin, forcing me to look at him. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I didn’t take the plane you were on.”
The sincerity in his eyes—and the fact he drove thirty-eight freaking hours to be here—proves he is. “I know.”
His lips find my neck again. “Promise you won’t give up on me.”
I won’t. Ever.
“I promise.”
We fall onto the bed, a fusion of obsessive kisses and soft I love-yous.
A mixture of uncontrollable touches and ragged breaths.
Two damaged, broken people so melded together they became whole again.
I undo the buttons of his shirt and slide it off his shoulders, planting a row of kisses along his collarbone.
I used to think I knew what sex was—hormones and lust. Fulfilling a biological urge and releasing some pent-up impulse.
And while it can be all those things…it can also be more than that.
It can be loving someone so much you want to give them the rawest, most stripped-down parts of yourself…because there aren’t enough words to express how much you feel for them.
It’s needing something a little less fortified…and a lot more vulnerable.
Something pure and genuine.
“I want you inside me,” I breathe as he buries his face in my cleavage.
With a grunt, he tugs down my pajama pants. My panties quickly follow. “My fingers and tongue will be inside you any minute. Promise.”
It’s almost adorable how oblivious he is.
“No…I meant you. All of you.” I clear my throat. “Sex.”
Because if you can’t say it, you shouldn’t be having it.
He stops moving. Heck, I’m pretty sure he stops breathing for a solid minute.
Finally, he lifts his head. “Are you sure?”
I nod. “I’m ready.”
His eyebrows pinch. “I didn’t…I don’t have a condom. I wasn’t expecting…” A rush of air escapes him. “I thought you were waiting for marriage.”
The fact he’d be willing to wait that long means more to me than he’ll ever know.
But I know what I want. Him. Now.
“I’m on birth control,” I remind him. “Unless you’re opposed to having sex without a condom—”
“I’ve never had sex without one before.” He swallows hard. “You’ll be my first.” His lips curve into a smirk. “Be gentle with me.”
I slap his shoulder. “Jackass.”
He tips my chin, his expression turning serious. “I don’t want you to regret this…me. Because once it happens, that’s it. No going back.”
Cupping my hand around the base of his neck, I pull him closer. “I’ll never regret you, Colton.”
Even if we crash and burn…I’ll never regret giving this to him.
I’ll never regret loving him.
Getting off the bed, he steps out of his pants and boxers.
The sight of a nude Colton standing before me is…well, there are no words.
However, it’s the hint of vulnerability in his expression that does me in.
Like this is more than just sex for him too.
“Can I see you?” he rasps. “All of you?”
Panic rises in my throat. Every time we’ve hooked up, I’ve managed to keep an article of clothing on me…attempting to shield myself.
But I can’t do that with him now. Loving someone…means giving them everything.
Including the ugly parts of yourself you’d rather they never see.
I raise my shirt
above my head and toss it on the floor…baring myself to him.
“You’re beautiful.”
The fact that he’s not looking at my body, but right into my eyes as he says it makes my heart thump in my chest.
Crawling onto the bed, he kisses me slowly as his hand slips between my legs. “I want to make sure you’re ready first.”
“I am.”
His fingers sink inside me. “Really ready.”
There’s so much anxiety coursing through me it’s hard to calm down. It’s not apprehension or fear…it’s just…my body and mind are fully aware of what’s about to happen, which makes it impossible to relax enough to have an orgasm.
“I won’t be able to…but it’s okay,” I tell him as he lowers his head. “It’s not your fault, I’m just wound—”
Parting my legs, his tongue strikes my pussy.
“Close your eyes,” he murmurs, planting sloppy kisses along my sensitive flesh.
When I do, his mouth clamps onto my clit and I moan.
I love how he always knows just how to please me.
My breathing becomes labored as he pumps his fingers in tandem with his tongue, bringing me closer to the edge.
I fist his hair when the first stirrings hit. “I’m gonna come.”
He laps at me harder, faster…until I’m nothing but a shuddering mess, crying out his name.
“That should make things a little easier,” he says, aligning himself on top of me.
I spread my thighs wider when I feel him nudging my entrance.
“As much as I want this, I hate that I’m going to hurt you,” he whispers.
“The first time is never great,” I remind him, recalling everything I’ve heard from other girls throughout the years. “I won’t hold it against you though.” A smile breaks free. “Besides, you can make it up to me with a lifetime of mind-blowing sex.”
He grins. “You better believe it, Bible Thumper.” Reaching between us, he guides himself inside me, inch by excruciating inch. “Tell me if you need me to stop for a bit.”
My body tenses with the first wave of pressure. “I will.”
He pauses. “You okay?”
Pain is temporary. We’re forever. “Keep going.”
Another round of pain seizes me, and I clamp up. “Are you in?”