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by Ashley Jade
I just wanted to know something.
Because he tells me nothing.
“Cole, please!” Bianca cries out. “Sawyer, I don’t kno—”
“Hit him,” I yell. “Hit him with something. Now. It will make him stop.”
Money doesn’t always guarantee you’ll get out of a murder charge and I can’t lose him.
I hear a loud bang on the other line. “I threw a brick at his head.”
I almost veer off the road. “Jesus, Bianca—”
“Don’t worry, I missed. It hit the side of the dumpster. But it broke up the fight and—shit. What are you doing now, you maniac?”
“What happened?”
“Cole’s taking off.”
“Taking off? How? He doesn’t have a car.”
“He’s driving Oakley’s car.”
Fuck a duck. I thought he took an Uber.
“Okay, just…call an ambulance for Stone.”
“Are you kidding—”
“Just do it, Bianca. He’s probably seriously hurt.”
I hang up before she can protest and dial Oakley.
“Hey—”
“Does your car have some kind of GPS tracker thing?”
Fuck if I know what it’s actually called. My van is old as dirt.
“I figured you and Cole might be fighting, but I don’t—”
“Cole is fighting Stone, Oakley. At least he was before he took off again. Do you have a location tracker or not? OnStar? Anything?”
“Yeah.”
I suck in a breath. “Good—”
“But I had Jace disable it. I didn’t want my pop’s tracking me.”
Of fucking course it’s disabled. Jesus, take the wheel.
“Do me a favor and call Jace. See if he picks up for you.”
“If he does, do you want me to tell him Cole beat up Stone again—”
“No. I want you to ask if he knows where Cole would go when he’s upse—” It hits me so hard I feel like I just got hit in the head with a brick.
“On second thought, I figured it out. Gotta go.” Another thought occurs to me. “Call your dad. Bianca said Cole beat Stone up pretty bad—”
“Why was Bianca there?”
“I have no idea. And right now, I honestly don’t give a fuck. The only thing I care about is getting to Cole.”
And there’s only one place he’d be right now.
Chapter 71
Cole
“Are you fucking happy now, Liam?” I scream at the night sky. “Is this what you wanted?”
The pain is so deep it cuts like a thousand knives stabbing me at once.
So crippling, every breath feels like it might be my last.
Karma.
I took his life…so it’s only fair he destroys mine.
Fillet me open and expose me for the ruthless asshole I really am.
“Cole,” Sawyer calls out before she comes into view. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”
I look up at her. The way the moon shines behind her head makes her look like an angel missing a wing.
Because I destroyed it.
I destroy everything.
“How did y—”
“It’s your favorite place.”
I hate that she knows me so well.
Before I can stop her, she lays down beside me on the grass. “I’m sorry—”
“Don’t apologize.” The muscles in my chest draw tight. “It was bound to come out sooner or later.”
I was just hoping it was later. Much later.
“What was?”
The ugly truth.
No matter how hard I try to forget…it will never make up for the ugly, horrible event I’m responsible for.
I turn my head to look at her again.
She’s so goddamn beautiful.
So pure and innocent and good.
The saint a sinner like me never deserved.
For once, I wish God was real. I wish Heaven and Hell and reincarnation were legit so I could pay my penance and ask for a second chance.
Meet her again in another lifetime. One where I actually deserve her.
“I’ll tell you everything.” Shifting, I turn to face her. “I just want to kiss you one last time before I do.”
One last time before it all disappears.
Before I show her the worthless piece of shit I really am and she gives up on me.
You won, Liam.
I didn’t care about you, but it’s gonna kill me to lose her.
Sawyer’s brows knit together in confusion and she sits up. “No, you can’t kiss me one last time. Because no matter what you tell me, I’m not going anywhere.”
She’s wrong. So wrong. “You say that now—”
“I mean it.” She grabs my face. “Whatever it is, it won’t change the way I feel about you. Ever. Colton, I lo—”
“It’s my fault.”
Her hands tighten. “What is?”
“Liam…his death. It’s all my fault.”
Chapter 72
Cole
Past…
“I thought you came to the dance with Heather?” Hayley questions as we sway to the music.
Technically I did, but mid-way through the dance, Hayley caught my eye.
Or rather, her boobs did.
Most girls in seventh grade didn’t have a decent set yet, but not Hayley.
The girl has an entire handful…and I’m dying to find out if they feel as good as they look in her dress tonight.
Wonder what it would take for her to let me cop a feel?
“Cole?”
“Huh?”
I’ve been so busy thinking about her tits, I forgot she asked me a question.
Pausing our little dance, she looks up at me. “Heather.”
“What about her?”
“I thought you came here with her?”
Crap. “I mean, we rode in the same car—” Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Liam dancing with my former date.
That’s…interesting.
The lighting in here must be worse than I thought. She thinks it’s me.
Either way, I can definitely use it to my advantage.
“But she and Liam have something going on.” I give Hayley my best smile. “Which is fine by me, because I am all about you.”
And the two soft cushions a few inches south of your neck.
She blushes. “Really?”
“Yeah...”
Hold up. Why is Liam dancing with Heather? Is he that desperate for my scraps?
As much as it ticks me off, I can’t say I blame him.
The accident that killed our mother left him with a few grisly facial scars and a bad stutter.
According to the family doctor, it’s a combination of brain trauma and anxiety he developed from the crash.
I personally think it’s all a crock of bullshit.
He could speak just fine if he actually tried…he just chooses not to.
I think he wants people to feel bad for him.
Either way, this stutter is just another way for him to steal all the attention from me. Like he always does.
On the bright side, he looks and sounds like such a freak, people never mixed us up anymore.
Whatever. The asshole can have my leftovers.
Even though Heather isn’t the girl he really wants.
That would be Dylan. Jace’s best friend. Or should I say ex best friend.
Evidently, Jace asked Britney to the dance…and then Liam seized the opportunity and asked Dylan to go to the dance with him.
Surprisingly, she said yes.
Although you’d never know it, because Dylan’s currently engaged in what looks like a very heated conversation with Tommy DaSilva.
I bite the inside of my cheek, suppressing a laugh.
Tommy is Jace’s nemesis, but not because of any personal beef between them.
No…Jace hates his guts because Tommy bullies Liam.
So much so, he even conjured up a littl
e nickname for Liam. History.
Because history always repeats itself.
The moment I heard it, I just about died from laughter. Clever as hell that Tommy.
Of course, the first time I used it at home, Jace punched me in the arm and told me to knock it off.
Still didn’t stop me from taunting Liam with it whenever Jace wasn’t around.
“Why are you laughing?”
Because there’s about to be some drama, and that’s always funny…as long as it doesn’t involve me.
I look into Hayley’s eyes. “It’s just funny how you think I could want anyone but you.”
The blush creeping up her cheeks deepens. “I didn’t even know you liked me like that. I mean, you’re so hot.”
“I know.” I grin. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
However, she’ll be better looking once those god-awful braces come off her teeth and she loses some of the pudginess in her face.
Compared to the rest of the girls in junior high though, she’s still up there…which is all that matters.
“Are you sure Heather won’t be mad?”
“Heather wh—”
Wait a minute. Why is Heather sitting on the bleachers crying…again? Where’s Liam?
I spin Hayley around on the dance floor so I can look for Dylan.
Just like her date…she’s gone too. So are Jace and Tommy.
Jesus. It’s like everyone became ghosts and vanished into thin air.
“Are you okay?” Hayley questions.
“I’m fine, Heather—Hayley.”
Shit. Damn their names for sounding so similar.
She stops dancing. “I’m Hayley.”
“What the hell is going on?” I mutter as I watch a visibly distraught Liam reenter the gym.
A grinning Tommy follows close behind.
This can’t be good.
Ditching Hayley, I move closer to them.
And then it happens.
Tommy points at a still crying Liam. “Look at this prissy fag crying like a baby.”
It doesn’t take long for everyone to look at Tommy…or rather, Liam.
I should step in and put a stop to this.
But I don’t.
Liam loves stealing the spotlight from me so much…well, here it fucking is.
Choke on it.
Liam wipes his snot and tears with the back of his sleeve, attempting to compose himself. “F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f.”
His stutter seems to go on for an eternity. It’s so bad he can’t even get a single word out. Of course, that only makes everyone laugh harder.
“What’s that, h-h-history?” Tommy mocks.
Anger crosses Liam’s features. “F-f-f-f-f.”
I’m pretty sure he’s trying to tell Tommy to go fuck himself, but he can’t even do that right.
Frustrated, Liam tries to leave, but the circle of people surrounding him won’t let that happen.
And that’s when everything goes from bad to worse.
Quick as lightning, Tommy pulls down Liam’s pants.
Unfortunately for Liam, Jace skimped on the laundry this week and he chose the worst night to go commando.
The laughter in the gymnasium increases by several decibels and a few chaperones rush toward the circle.
But it’s too late.
“Holy shit, he’s a girl!” Tommy yells. “No way does that itty-bitty thing qualify as a dick.”
More laughter.
My chest tightens. Second-hand embarrassment must be a legitimate thing, because I’m positive I’m experiencing it.
Tommy plays football too, and I’ve seen him in the locker room.
He isn’t packing more than Liam.
Or any of us for that matter.
But no middle school boy is going to stand up and announce that in front of a bunch of girls.
And most middle school girls wouldn’t know the difference anyway…because they still haven’t seen one so there’s nothing for them to compare it to.
It also doesn’t help that there’s a draft from the fans, and he didn’t start going through puberty until a few months ago.
But none of that matters.
From this moment on, Liam will forever be known as the stutterer with a baby dick.
It will follow him everywhere for the rest of his life.
Hell, it might even follow me.
Panic claws at my chest. As much as I try to distance myself from him, there’s no denying we’re identical twins.
It’s safe to say if everyone makes fun of him for having a small dick…they’ll assume I have one too.
I can’t let that happen.
So I join them.
“Anyone got a magnifying glass?”
“Good one,” Tommy says before the teachers usher him away and break up the commotion.
Shame courses through my system as Liam pulls up his pants and runs out of the gym.
I could have stopped it. I could have stuck up for him.
But I didn’t.
I’m about to leave, but Jace spots me. Given the expression on his face, I assume he saw the tail end of what went down with Liam.
“Where’s Liam?”
Or not.
I shrug. “What do I look like, his keeper?”
“Cole,” he grits through his teeth.
I paraphrase Tommy. “He ran home crying like a little bitch.”
“Why?”
“I’m not sure,” I begin. “Tommy and Liam left the gym for a few minutes. When they came back, Liam was crying and Tommy was grinning like a cat who ate a goldfish.”
It’s not exactly a lie. It’s just not the whole truth.
“Shit.”
“It gets worse.” I wince. “Tommy started pointing and laughing at him. Calling him a prissy fag. Pretty soon everyone else joined in.” I avert my gaze. “Liam tried defending himself, but he was so upset he—”
“Got stuck on the first word.”
I snort. “More like the first letter. It was pretty brutal, even I felt bad for him.”
I’m about to tell him the full extent of it, but the disappointment in his eyes feels like acid to the face.
Jace is the only person I care about in this world now that our mother’s gone.
If he finds out what Tommy did…and that I did nothing to defend Liam.
Or worse…that I actually participated.
He’ll hate me.
Just like everyone else.
“Liam is so mad at you,” Bianca says the moment Jace and I walk through the front door.
I wanted to patch things up with Hayley, but Jace read me the riot act about being a shitty brother to Liam and forced me to come home with him.
A lot of good it did me. The bastard ratted me out.
Jace looks at me. The disappointment is back.
“It’s not my fault he ran out of the dance crying,” I shout. “Blame Tommy DaSilva.”
I’m so tired of everyone constantly reprimanding me for Liam’s problems. He does it to himself.
“Not you.” She looks at Jace. “You.”
Jace looks surprised…that makes two of us.
Unlike me and Liam, Jace and Liam get along great.
So great Jace denies his real feelings for Dylan. Which is a heaping pile of bullshit if you ask me. Anyone with a pulse can see Dylan and Jace are perfect for one another.
“Me?” Jace questions. “Did he say why?”
Bianca thinks about this for a moment before replying, “Nope.” Smirking, she looks up at the ceiling. “But he did ask me where the bat was.”
As if on cue, there’s a loud crash upstairs.
Well, shit. Looks like Liam isn’t a pussy after all.
I let out a wolf whistle. The drama train express has officially left the station. “I’m gonna take a guess and say you pointed him in the right direction.”
Bianca blows on her nails. “Duh.”
“Thanks a lot,” Jace mutters before charging up the stair
case.
I’m right behind him. “What did you do?”
I gotta hear this. Jace and Liam never fight.
“I have no idea.”
I don’t buy it. Given Liam’s taking a bat to shit, he must have done something.
“I’ve never seen him so mad before,” Bianca whisper-shouts behind us.
That makes two of us. Which means she needs to stay on the couch where it’s safe.
Jace and I turn around. “Go downstairs.”
Pouting, she slinks down the staircase. “I hope Liam takes a bat to your balls.”
Glass shattering assaults my ears when Jace opens his bedroom door.
My mouth nearly hits the floor as I step inside. His room is completely ransacked.
The jerk even managed to destroy Jace’s most prized possession, a giant computer monitor.
“What the hell are you doing?” Jace shouts.
Bat in hand, those angry eyes swivel to us. “T-t-taking s-s-something you l-l-love aw-w-way.” Liam swings again, attacking the tower this time. “Maybe n-n-now you’ll k-k-know w-w-what it f-f-feels lik-k-ke.”
Jace looks every bit as lost as I am. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I didn’t take anything away from—”
“Dylan,” Liam seethes, moving on to his Xbox. Various pieces of plastic and metal propel across the room. “I s-s-saw you two k-k-k-kissing in t-t-the c-c-c-loset.”
Mic. Drop.
Well, shit. Go Jace. Finally.
“About damn time,” I tell him.
For years, Jace has been stuffing his feelings for Dylan down in hopes of not hurting Liam, who laid some stupid claim to her the second Jace brought her home.
“S-s-shut up,” Liam screams, his voice breaking.
Jesus Christ. What a baby.
I hold up my hands, attempting to get a handle on the situation. “Bro, you’re acting like a psycho. Put the bat down.”
“No.” He hits a stack of video games next. “You k-k-knew how m-m-much I l-l-loved her.”
Jace looks like he’s going to be sick. “How did you find out?”
A smug face belonging to a certain bully flashes through my head.
I have a sneaking suspicion it was Tommy DeSilva.
Like both my brothers, he’s had the hots for Dylan too.
Only unlike them, Dylan wants nothing to do with him.