No reply.
“Answer my wife.”
Still, nothing.
Bleu has waited eighteen years for this moment. I’m going to make certain Todd gives her the satisfaction she deserves.
I can see that he’ll need some persuading. “Oh … Todd. There are so many things that are much worse than death.”
Sangster has been standing in the corner silently waiting to have his chance at Cockburn. He’s going to get it.
I motion for The Fellowship’s master of torture to come forward. “Take a finger off and see if that convinces him he should respond to my wife’s questions.”
Sangster grins and moves toward Todd.
“No!” Todd yells as he uselessly fights to get away from him. “I’ll answer any questions your wife has.”
Sangster stops, waiting for me. “Take it off anyway for good measure.”
Sangster displays the cutting pliers for Todd and snaps them closed several times. You can hear the friction of metal on metal.
Todd fights to pull his hand away but it’s useless.
His screams fill the room when Sangster closes the blades. Blood drips to the floor while he twists the pliers back and forth to force Todd’s finger free of his hand. Crunch.
Sangster finishes and tosses his finger on to the table. He returns the pliers and holds up the saw for Todd to see. “Ignore my wife again and you’ll lose your hand next.”
“Why did you kill my mother?”
“I was skimming off the top at the Biloxi casino. She found out and didn’t want to be tied to it. She left without a word. I ran into her eight years later and she was with Thane. I knew he’d kill me if she told him I was stealing from The Fellowship so I had to keep her quiet. I had no idea she was pregnant with you when she left me. I didn’t know she even had a daughter until that night. And I certainly didn’t know you were mine.”
“I wouldn’t have been able to identify you. You could’ve left me unharmed but you chose to kill an innocent seven-year-old. Why?”
Todd closes his eyes and lifts his face to the ceiling. “I couldn’t help myself. I don’t know why I do the things I do. It’s something I don’t understand and can’t explain.”
Bleu paces back and forth in front of him as she speaks. “It starts as an itch and spreads until you have no choice but to scratch it. If you don’t, you’ll explode. You fantasize about the ways you’ll make it happen. Because it isn’t always possible to do it when the desire presents itself, you use these items to get you by until you’re able. Each represents the respective victim, and each helps you relive the murders. That temporarily satisfies the drive you have. Until it becomes too much to handle and you have to do it again. And again. And again.”
A grin spreads on Todd’s face, quite possibly the most sinister I’ve ever encountered. Pure evil. “You understand because you are my daughter. You’re like me.”
Bleu shakes her head. “Don’t mistake my knowledge for understanding.”
“You thirst for the knowledge because it’s inside you too.”
Bleu walks toward him and leans down so she can spit in his face. “My only thirst was to hunt you down so I could kill you.”
“Your craving is displaced. You can’t see it but you’re just like me. You’re my daughter. A part of me is inside you. And in those babies you carry.”
“Don’t you dare speak of my children. Ever!” Bleu shouts.
“Your babies have two parents who kill. Their potential is endless.”
I’ve heard enough of Todd’s insanity. Bleu has her answers. It’s time to end this for good. “You’re plagued by a sickness that can only be cured one way.”
“Let my daughter do it. She knows she wants to.”
“I’ve spent my life dreaming of the way I’d kill you. I was so obsessed, I allowed it to ruin me. And then I met Sin. He sees the damage you’ve done to me and wants to take all the ugliness away. And I’m letting him.”
“Killing me isn’t going to fix what’s inside you.”
“I’m certain it won’t, but it’s a damn good start.”
Bleu comes to me. “I can’t listen to him anymore and I don’t want to be here another minute.”
Todd’s taunting can be heard loud and clear as we walk out of the building.
She stops by the car and puts her arms around my midsection. “Knowing you’re going to do this for me is enough. You were right all along. Killing him won’t bring me the closure I need. Only more torment. It would be the worst mistake of my life because I’d always wonder if on some level, he’s right.”
“He’s not.”
“I know, and I’m proving it by walking away. Being the one to kill him isn’t what is going to heal me. It’s you and these babies. It’s the life we’re going to have together. Our happiness.”
I pull Bleu into my arms. “I’ll take care of everything.”
I kiss the top of her head. “Mum doesn’t need to stay for this. I’m going to send her out so Sterling can take her home.”
“I probably shouldn’t expect you home soon.”
“No. I’m going to make him tell me who the other victims are so I can give their families closure.”
She cradles my face in her hands. “I love you, Breck.”
I press my forehead to hers. “Love you too.”
She kisses me quickly and gets into the car.
I wait until Mum is gone to pick up where I left off. “Now, let’s talk about who these items belong to.”
“I don’t remember.”
“Sangster. What do you say about refreshing his memory?”
He chooses the saw. “As you wish.”
Chapter Nineteen
Bleu Breckenridge
I wake to the sound of water running in the shower. It’s Breck’s routine after a kill. He’s never admitted it but I strongly suspect it’s his way of washing away the filth he feels after taking someone’s life––even if they deserve it.
I need to go to him. This is the time he needs my support more than ever.
I slip out of my gown and panties. “I’m coming in with you.”
He needs fair warning so I don’t startle him. “No, Bonny. Go back to bed.”
“You need me to be with you.”
He’s standing with his hands pressed against the tile wall, water cascading down his back, head lowered. He won’t look in my direction. “I don’t want you to see me like this.”
“I’m not leaving you.” I wrap my arms around him from behind and squeeze, placing my face against his wet back. “You aren’t alone. You never are.”
Sin shivers. “He admitted to horrible acts. Things that will haunt me until the day I die. Had you not left on your own, I would’ve sent you away.”
“I’m sorry you had to endure that.”
“All females. Mostly adolescents from the States. The ones he killed here are from The Order. Their deaths and disappearances were blamed on us anyway.”
“The whole thing is horrible regardless of who they are or where they came from.”
“He’d been toying with the idea of murder for years before he killed your mother and attacked you. Since it was his first slaughter, he’d not yet honed his skills. It’s likely the only reason you survived.”
I was his first taste of blood, so to speak. “His initial involvement in the death of a child was with his own daughter. The irony is extraordinary. You can’t make that kind of stuff up.”
I squeeze body wash into my palms and work it over his back. I want to help him wash away the night’s events. “Todd Cockburn’s death had to happen. We both know that. Don’t suffer a single minute of guilt over an act that was completely unavoidable. Despite what you’re feeling right now, you righted a wrong within the world. You have saved innocent children from whatever he had in store for them. He wasn’t afraid to kill Fellowship children. For all we know, our babies could have become his victims.”
“Don’t say such things.”
&nb
sp; “I’m trying to make you see that you shouldn’t regard what you’ve done as bad or evil. It’s good. Serial killers are creatures of habit. He would’ve done it over and over again but you’ve stopped him. You’re a hero because you’ve saved the victims who would have fallen into his snare. But you’re my hero as well. You’ve saved me.”
Sin looks at me for the first time since I came into the shower. “Saved you from what?”
“Myself. I don’t feel that dark place inside anymore. You’ve taken it from me and its vacancy is filled with hope and love.”
He turns in my arms and holds my face. “Say it with me, Bonny.”
We look into one another’s eyes and together speak the words that express the deep intimacy we share. “Into me … you see.”
* * *
I’m in front of the bathroom mirror wearing only a bath towel. My teeth are brushed and I’m twisting my wet hair into a pile on top of my head when Sin calls out for me from our bedroom.
“Be right there.”
I find him standing by the bed holding an envelope. “Harry wrote a letter to me before he died. He gave it to me the day he passed away. There were three additional letters inside the envelope with mine. One is addressed to you and labeled with instructions to give it to you after it was all over. The second is for Ellison, and the third is for the man she marries. Theirs are to be given to them on their wedding day. He entrusted me with delivering them.”
Sin holds out my dad’s last words for me. “Per Harry’s instructions, it’s time for you to read this.”
I hold the letter in my trembling hand. Butterflies have invaded my insides.
Writing four letters would’ve been a lot of work for Dad. “He could barely breathe. How was he able to do this?”
“I’m not sure. Perhaps he had help?”
I open the letter and immediately recognize the chicken scratch he called penmanship. “He wrote this. It’s his handwriting.”
Girlie girl,
You’re reading this letter so that means that after more than eighteen years (hopefully not too much longer), you have exposed your mother’s murderer and brought him to justice. He’s dead and gone. Good for you. Now is the time for real life to begin, the one you’re building with your husband. Sin loves you dearly and will do anything to protect you. Never doubt that.
What you were doing the last few years doesn’t qualify as living. But that chapter of your life is closed. A new one has begun. I wish I were there to see where the journey takes you, Sin, and the babies you’ll one day have. Wherever it is, I’ll be watching from afar. I’m always with you. I love you.
Dad
I can’t stop the tears rolling down my face. And I don’t want to. I was already happy but this letter pushes me beyond ecstatic.
I fold my Dad’s last words and clench them to my chest. “Thank you for this. And for giving me the gift of freedom. I can’t tell you what it means that you would shoulder an undertaking of this magnitude for me.”
“I would do anything for you.”
I place my father’s letter on my nightstand and go to Sin. I move my hands to the tucked corner of his towel at his waist and tug. “Today was rough. You’re in a bad place right now but the worst thing we can do is allow today’s events to distance us. I want to be close to you. I think it’s what we need.”
I kiss his shoulder where be bears the gunshot scar that sent him into sepsis, nearly taking his life. “Tell me you want to feel that connection with me.”
His hands glide down my sides and cup my bottom, pulling me against him. “What I want is for us to fade into each other until we can’t tell where one begins and the other ends.”
He has the power to make me swoon. “Such pretty words.”
I drop his towel to the floor and place my hands on his hips, using them to pull him with me toward the bed. “I don’t need any of the fancy stuff tonight. I just want to feel your skin pressed against mine and have you inside me.”
We turn so he can sit to take off his prosthesis. Thud! It drops to the floor and he grabs me around my expanding waist. “Get yourself up here, Bonny Bleu.”
I open my towel and drop it to the floor next to his. I climb knees-first so I’m straddling him. Our skin, still damp from our hot shower, sticks together.
Sin presses his face between my breasts and turns his head from side to side. His scruff scrapes my skin. There’s little I love more than the feel of that.
He palms by breast from the bottom, pushing them up and together. He opens wide and sucks my areola and nipple into his mouth, using the tip of his tongue to circle the hardened bud. They’re incredibly sensitive. I almost think he could make me come doing that.
When he finishes giving both breasts equal attention, he grasps the sides of my face and brings me closer. His lips touch mine and he kisses me hard, as though he’s trying to possess the soul within me.
I reach between us and position his erection at my entrance. I sink down until he’s fully inside. I rotate my hips a few times before rising and lowering myself down on to him again. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and press our bodies harder. My baby bump rubs his abdomen as I move up and down.
His hands find mine. We lace our fingers together.
I know when he’s close because he releases my hands and hugs me tightly, pulling me down harder while thrusting with his hips. His face is pressed between my breasts. “Uh! I love you.”
“I love you too.”
He groans when he spasms inside me. Once. Twice. I lose count of how many times I feel it.
I don’t come but I don’t need to. This wasn’t about sexual gratification. It was about getting as close as possible.
I hug tightly, so I can feel his skin against mine. I’m wrapped around him like a tangled mess I never want to be freed from.
“I’ll always do what I must to protect you and our babies. Lie. Steal. Cheat. Kill. Whatever it takes. You never have to question the lengths I’m willing to go to for you or our children.”
“I know.”
This isn’t The Fellowship way. It’s the Sinclair Breckenridge way. When he loves, it is without limits. There is no boundary he won’t cross for our children and me.
* * *
It’s the first of the month. The house is officially ours. It looks like a tornado visited and dropped hundreds of moving boxes throughout the place but we don’t care. We’re spending our first night here anyway, mess or not.
“I want to have everyone over for dinner after we get things together.”
“Who is everyone?”
“Your parents. My sister. Our best friends.”
Sin looks skeptical. “I’m not filled with high hopes for getting Leith and Lorna in the same house.”
Those two are giving me fits. “I know. There might need to be some trickery involved.”
I’m carrying the box containing my toiletries to the bathroom. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m taking the things I’ll need at bedtime to the bathroom for later.”
He reaches for the box in my hands. “No, you’re not. Hand it over.”
He’s completely overreacting. “It’s light.”
“You’re almost six months pregnant with twins. You have no business carrying anything.”
Granted, my bump is no longer a bump. My tummy is probably the size of a regular pregnancy about a month further along. But it’s not yet a decent prop for a carton of ice cream.
“Good grief. It probably doesn’t come close to weighing ten pounds.”
“I don’t care how light it is. You could trip. You know your balance isn’t its best right now. Let me or one of the brothers know if you need something moved.” He’s referring to me falling at Stirling Castle, which had nothing to do with the pregnancy. It was totally footwear and weather related. He would have slipped too had he been in those boots on that wet cobblestone.
“Fine. I need my lightweight box of toiletries taken into
the bathroom.”
“Happy to.” I follow Sin, feeling useless. “Want it on the counter?”
“Yes, please.”
“I’d like your input on something. I’m thinking of keeping the flat. We’re thirty minutes from Edinburgh here, which is great since we wanted to get out of the city but there could be times when I need to stay in town. I thought it might be a good idea to hang on to it since the location is prime.”
Makes total sense. Thane keeps an apartment in the city as well. “I don’t see why not.”
“I’ve also been thinking of something else. I don’t mind Ellison living here with us but she might enjoy having a place to herself. If she wants, she can live in our flat.”
It’s a very nice idea. And generous offer. “I’m sure she would enjoy living in her own place.”
“If she decides to stay at the flat, she can still come out and stay with us whenever she wants.”
“I’m betting we won’t be able to beat her off with a stick after the twins arrive.” Her excitement is beyond ridiculous. She couldn’t be more excited if she were the one about to give birth.
“If we’re here and Ellison’s there, I might have to call on Jamie to play a more active role in her life.”
I’m not opposed to that, and I suspect she wouldn’t be, either, but I don’t have a lot of confidence in my husband’s matchmaking skills with his best mates.
“Maybe you should let me handle that. You didn’t do such a great job encouraging a match between Leith and Lorna.”
“Leith is the one who fucked that up. I had Lorna on board. She would’ve married him right then and there if we would have had an officiate on hand.”
Leith was never going to accept Sin being the one to suggest he take Lorna as a wife. I can see it clearly now since everything is out in the open.
“Is Lorna still planning to go to work at the gentlemen’s club when it opens?” Sin asks.
I’m not a fool. Topless dancing isn’t the only thing that’ll be going on in that club. I won’t allow her to work in an environment where it would be so easy to fall back into her old ways. “She says she is but it’s not going to happen if I have anything to do with it.”