“I promised you I would do everything I could to make you happy. I meant that.”
“And you do. Every single day.”
Chapter Eighteen
Sinclair Breckenridge
House buying. Castle tour. Village shopping. Interior design. It was fun while it lasted but my game of distractions has come to an end. Three days of waiting have come and gone. Time for the truth.
Bleu and I go into our bedroom since it’s the only place we have complete privacy. We sit side by side on our bed. She clutches the manila envelope containing her paternity results but makes no move to open it.
“You aren’t obligated to read the results. If you don’t feel ready, you can put it away until a later time. If you never feel ready, that’s fine too. Understand that reading it right now isn’t your only choice.”
“I don’t think I can deprive myself of the relief I’ll feel if it proves I’m not his daughter.”
She’s assuming Todd isn’t her father. “That might not be what it says. What then?”
“You know me. I can handle anything as long as it’s the truth.” That’s proven true so far but this is a completely different circumstance. I’m afraid for Bleu but I must support her decision. That’s my job as her husband.
She takes a deep breath and opens the flap, pulling out the test results. She passes it to me without a glance. “Please read it for me. I can’t do it.”
One doesn’t simply glance at paternity test results for a quick answer. There isn’t a yes or no box. It’s complicated but after a moment, I decipher the verdict. Conclusion: cannot be excluded. Paternity probability is ninety-nine point ninety-nine percent. Todd Cockburn is her father.
“You aren’t saying anything. That can’t be good.”
I fold the results and place it on the bed. “He’s your biological father.”
Bleu nods and stares straight ahead at the wall. “Okay. The only thing this changes is what I’ll say before I kill him.”
We’ve had this argument before so here’s the same song, second verse. “We’ve talked about this, Bonny.”
“You said you didn’t want me putting myself in danger. Todd’s contained. He won’t be a threat to me. Firing a weapon doesn’t put me or the babies in danger.” That’s her opinion.
“Physically, no. But you don’t fully understand the impact a premeditated murder can have on your mental status. Now it’s further complicated by the fact that he’s your biological father.” There’s no way that won’t wreak havoc on her emotionally.
“It’s not a complication. It’s an unfortunate detail.”
“One you’ve not yet had time to process.”
“What is there to process? He knocked my mom up. She ran from him and gave birth to me. He killed her and tried to kill me. I think I’ve processed it all quite well.” I wish it were that simple.
What I’m about to tell her is going to cause problems. “I can’t let you do it.”
“You won’t let me? What does that mean?”
“Exactly what I said.”
“Who do you intend to have do it, then?”
“Me.”
“You know what this means to me. It’s my one last sin. I’ve spent eighteen years searching for this man. I’ve devoted my life to it. It’s all I’ve lived and breathed since I was seven years old. Seven! My entire childhood and adult life has revolved around this and now you tell me you’re going to take it from me.”
“Please try to understand where I’m coming from.”
She shakes her head.
“Bonny.”
I move toward her but she puts her hands up. “No.”
She’s furious. She needs to cool down before we discuss this further.
I gather my laptop and case files from the corner chair, putting them into my briefcase. “I’ll be at the office if you need anything.”
No reply.
“Love you, Bonny.”
She responds by going into the bathroom and slamming the door.
“See you tonight.”
* * *
This situation is already turning my wife into someone she’s not. Bleu is always mature and rational, more so than any other woman I’ve known. The person I just argued with was not.
I arrive at BI but it’s not my office I go to first; it’s my father’s. I tap on his door. “Do you have a minute?”
“Sure.”
“I need to update you about some new findings.”
He places his pen on his desk. “Sounds serious.”
“Bleu is Todd Cockburn’s daughter.”
My dad motions for me to shut the door. “I assume she isn’t taking that well.”
“Her only reaction is that she wants to be the one to kill him.”
“She’ll need to take a number because she’s not the only one. I’m not sure how I’ve kept from going over to the black site and blowing his head off his shoulders.”
My father did not take well to finding out that Todd had killed Amanda Lawrence, but learning about Cara is what broke him and Mum. They immediately blamed themselves because Todd is part of our circle. They felt as though they didn’t protect her from him.
“I appreciate you not doing that while we waited for the paternity results.”
“Bleu’s in no condition to be assassinating anyone.” He doesn’t have to convince me.
“Do I need to step in as her leader to solve the problem?”
“No. She’s very aware that the possibility is off the table if I say so.”
“You’re her leader, yet she’s fighting you on this.” Bleu doesn’t have a submissive bone in her body.
“She feels she can because she’s my wife. And she’s a hard-ass. It complicates things.”
I’m about to ask the impossible of my father. “I understand how much you want to kill Todd. He took your daughter and the woman you loved. But Cara and Amanda are gone. Bleu lives and won’t be whole until her mother’s murder is avenged. I fear carrying it out herself will bring her more damage than healing. As her husband, I need to do this for her. With due respect, I’m asking you to pass this duty on to me.”
“This is a lot to ask.”
“I know, Dad. My father and my wife want the same thing. I know what it means to both of you, so it’s with a heavy heart that I make this request.”
“I can’t bring back Cara or Amanda. If you believe this will help heal Bleu, I won’t deny you of that possibility.”
My mind is at ease. “Thank you.”
“When will you do it?”
“I suppose that depends on how well things go with Bleu.”
“I wish you the best of luck, son.”
My day is long. I’m distracted. I can only think of Bleu and how she’ll react to what I’m going to do.
I’ve texted her three times without any kind of response. I’m not at all pleased about that. I would be worried about her safety if Kyle and Blare weren’t with her.
The workday ends and I’m not ready to go home to another fight, so I make a detour to Duncan’s. Jamie has agreed to meet me for a whisky or two. Maybe ten.
I’m pleased he accepted my invitation. The last few days have been devoted to Bleu so Jamie and I have only spoken briefly over the phone. He’s told me several times that he’s fine, but saying the words and them actually being true are two different things. I need to see for myself.
He’s waiting at our table when I arrive, two whiskies already in front of him. He’s usually a Guinness man. “Starting without me, I see.”
He pushes one of the whiskies in my direction. “Only on my first. But definitely not my last.”
I gulp the Johnnie Walker down. Damn smooth stuff. Every time.
“How are Westlyn and Evanna?” I ask.
“Westlyn’s grieving but she’s all right. Evanna’s not handling it as well.” I’m not surprised; Evanna was Abram’s favorite.
“And Torrie?”
“Mad as hell. She isn’t receiving the
treatment of a leader’s widow.” Predictable. She’s yet to realize how lucky she is I don’t have her thrown out of that ostentatious house she calls home.
“What’s going on?” Jamie asks.
“Argument with my wife. A big one.”
Jamie laughs. “I’m glad you married a lass with a backbone. Watching her go head to head with you is entertaining. No one else could get away with that.”
I have news for him. My wife has more than a backbone. She has balls. Big ones.
“I’m not looking forward to part two when I get home.”
“I’m guessing a former FBI agent can hold her own in an argument,” Jamie says.
She damn sure can.
“It’s going to get ugly fast. And I’m pretty certain Ellison will be home. I don’t want her to hear us.”
“Would you like me to come by and take her for a walk or a drive so she’s not in the middle of it?”
“Oh fuck! That would be awesome. Sure you don’t mind?”
“No problem.”
I’m careful to not have too many whiskies since I don’t need to be steamin’ when I have this conversation with Bleu.
It’s late when I get home but Ellison is still up. I hear music coming from her room. “Do I Want to Know?” by the Arctic Monkeys. I recognize the song because Bleu listens to it all the time.
I tap on her bedroom door. “Elli. It’s Sinclair.”
“You can come in.”
I open the door and find her painting her toenails. “I hate to bother you but I have a huge favor to ask. Bleu is really pissed off at me.”
Ellison giggles. “Yes, she is. Your name is shit.” I figured as much.
“I need to talk to her. I expect it to get loud and unpleasant. Is it all right if Jamie comes by to take you out for a walk or a drive?”
She bugs her eyes at me. “I haven’t seen him since the night I shot his dad. That’s going to be uncomfortable as hell.”
“He volunteered. I don’t think he would’ve done that if he thought it would be awkward.”
Ellison rubs her face and sighs as she leans over to look in the mirror. “I look like shit but I don’t guess it matters. If there’s going to be a screaming match between you and my sister, I’m out of here.”
I wait for Ellison and Jamie to leave before I go into the bedroom. Bleu’s already in bed but stirs when I come in, so she’s not asleep. I suspect she’s too troubled for slumber to find her easily.
She rises to sit, adjusting her pillow at her back. I go to her, kneeling beside the bed. I take her hand, kissing the top. “I love you. That’s what’s most important so that’s where I’d like to begin.”
“I love you too.”
Her response gives me hope this will go better than it did earlier.
“I didn’t do a great job of explaining myself earlier but it’s important you understand why I feel the way I do. You believe being Todd’s executioner will heal you. I fear it will cause more harm than good. The repercussions of bridging the gap between good and evil are real.”
“I’m conditioned for that to not happen. I’ve killed before and I was fine afterwards.”
What she’s planning is different. I have to make her understand that.
“You’ve killed but never by choice. Each time, it was forced upon you. I’ve made the decision time and time again for myself. What follows isn’t easy and I don’t want that for you.”
“I have to see this through to the end.” She can, just not the way she wants.
“I understand that turning away from this must seem like the hardest thing in the world, but I promise you, it’s profoundly easier than what you’re contemplating.”
“You’re asking me to give up the one thing I’ve wanted most in the world for nearly all of my life.”
“It’s time for you to want me and these babies more than you want to kill Todd Cockburn.”
She places her palm to my face. “Never think for a single moment that you and our children don’t come first.”
“You’re good, Bonny. I don’t want you tainted by what this will do to you.”
“You keep saying I’m good but I’m not. And it’s because of him.”
“You’re wrong. You couldn’t love me or these babies if you weren’t. I’m asking you to love us enough to let go and allow me to do this for you.”
She doesn’t reply. At least it’s not an argument.
“You’re filled by a darkness that isn’t your fault. I’m asking you to pass it on to me. Let me carry it for you.”
“I don’t know how to let go.”
“Refuse to be a slave to your demons. Be proactive. Make the decision to let me kill Todd Cockburn for you. Do it because you love our children enough to reject anything that could potentially destroy the person you are.”
She’s struggling. I see it. “I’m already filthy, but you don’t have to be.”
She closes her eyes and nods before the words come. “Okay. Do what you gotta do.”
* * *
Concrete floor. Cinder block walls. Single light hanging overhead. Nothing in this room would be what I’d want to see as I took my last breath.
Todd Cockburn has known four walls of iron bars as his home for four days. A cage for an animal. Very fitting.
He’s been freed from his enclosure. He now sits with his wrists and ankles securely buckled to the arms and legs of an execution chair in a corner of the black site.
My parents, Bleu, and I approach him. He looks relieved but he shouldn’t be. “Thank God you’ve come, Thane. These fools have kept me in a steel cage for days. I’m not even sure how long I’ve been here.”
I motion to two brothers. “Find chairs for my wife and mother so they may sit.”
“I don’t understand. What is this about?”
I’m not sure if Todd has yet to realize he’s caught or if he’s figured it out and is planning to lie. “You’ll find out what this is about when I’m good and ready for you to know.”
Bleu takes a seat and stares daggers at her mother’s killer.
“Todd Cockburn. You are accused of the murder of Cara Breckenridge, Amanda Lawrence, eleven victims who are unaccounted for, and the attempted murder of my wife, Stella Bleu Lawrence MacAllister Breckenridge.”
He feigns surprise. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Then allow me to refresh your memory.” I place the opened box of trophies on the table in front of him. He fails to react.
My father steps forward. “You attended a casino staff meeting in my home sixteen years ago to discuss changes we’d be making at our Edinburgh location. Sometime during the meeting, you slipped away unnoticed and went into my daughter’s room. You used her favorite stuffed animal to smother the life out of her.”
My father takes Cara’s necklace from the contents of the box. “When you were done, you took this locket from her neck and positioned her body as though she was sleeping so we wouldn’t discover her death until the morning.”
“You murdered my only daughter.” My mother gets up from her chair and stands before Todd. “My God, how I loved that child. She was the only one Thane didn’t take from me.”
“Isobel. Please believe me when I tell you that I did not kill your daughter.”
“Cara was the most beautiful child I’d ever seen. Dark curls all over her head from the day she was born. So sweet. So kind. I only got to have her for five short years because you took her from me.”
“I didn’t kill that precious girl.”
My mother slaps Todd hard across his face. “Shut yer lying gob!”
I go to my mother and guide her away.
My father continues, “Eighteen years ago, you went to the home of Amanda Lawrence, the woman I loved, and you shot her to death. She was wearing the diamond earrings I had given her.”
My father displays the diamond studs in his palm. “These. You took them from her body and when you finished, you went into her daughter’s room. You
shot their dog, but not before being attacked by him. Next you plucked her daughter from her hiding place beneath her bed and put a pillow over her face to smother her.”
Dad takes the ring from the collection. “You took this birthstone ring from that little girl’s body and left her for dead. But something happened that you couldn’t possibly have anticipated.”
Dad points at Bleu. “She was saved and there she sits. My son’s wife is the little girl you thought you murdered eighteen years ago. But I’m guessing you already have that figured out since I strongly suspect it was you who phoned the authorities the night we were making a trade with The Order for Bleu’s return.”
“I didn’t do any of these horrible things. Someone is framing me.”
“Let’s entertain the idea of you being innocent. Amanda’s killer was bitten by their German shepherd on his right leg. If you didn’t kill her, you won’t bear the scar of a dog bite.”
One of our men steps forward and takes a knife from his pocket to slice open the fabric of Todd’s trousers from the hem to the knee. My father motions for Bleu to come closer for inspection. “Is the scar on Todd’s leg consistent with the one you’d expect from the attack you witnessed?”
Bleu goes closer to examine his leg. “That’s exactly what I’d expect to see from Max’s bite.”
She stands before Todd, studying his face. “Do you know who I am?”
“You’re Bleu Breckenridge, wife of my leader.”
“Before I was Bleu Breckenridge, I was Stella Lawrence. Amanda Lawrence’s daughter. I’m your daughter as well. Did you know I was yours when you put that pillow over my face and smothered me?”
“You aren’t my daughter. You can’t be. I had a vasectomy thirty years ago so that would never happen.”
“As much as I hate being genetically tied to you, I am your flesh and blood.” Bleu takes the paternity results from her pocket. “We obtained a sample of your DNA and ran it against mine. I’m yours and here’s the proof.”
Todd says nothing.
Bleu’s trembling, her face pained. “Why did you kill my mother? She ran from you. She wasn’t a threat.”