My heart instantly hurt as the idea of making Emylie cry hit me full force. Mason had called me the day after I broke up with Emylie and bitched me out for over an hour. It was easy to push it away with the hundreds of miles between us. I had asked for it, after all. Away from the pressures of my father, enjoying life in another state. Exactly what I wanted. I’d met Daphne a few times before the party. She was a part of that other world I so desperately thought I wanted. After I woke up that morning in her bed, I knew what I truly wanted, and it wasn’t Daphne or a life away from Texas. It took my huge fuck-up to open my eyes and make me realize I didn’t want to be anywhere other than with Emylie and here.
When Daphne told me about the pregnancy, there was never a doubt in my mind what the right thing to do was. I never did tell anyone one though, especially Emylie. I knew it would have devastated her to know I had been careless and gotten another girl pregnant.
I sucked in a breath as I stepped around the corner and saw Emylie crying into Mason’s chest. He held her tightly and spoke softly to her. She lifted her face and the way they regarded one another told me they were more than friends. Then Mason’s words he whispered to her hit me like a brick wall.
“Don’t let it get to you, Tink. Baby, don’t cry.”
With two steps back out of the barn, I placed my hands on my knees and began to drag in one deep breath after another.
Air. I needed air in my lungs.
“I’ve got to go,” Emylie said as Mason called out after her.
Taking in a deep breath, I stepped back through the door of the barn. Emylie slammed into me, causing me to grab a hold of her. Electricity ripped through my body and we both inhaled sharply.
This was what real love felt like. Not lust or desire, but love.
“Em,” I whispered.
Her eyes widened in horror, she pushed me away. “Don’t touch me.”
My heart felt like someone had reached into my chest and squeezed it as hard as they could. In that moment, I knew I had to tell her the truth. I needed her to know why I had done what I did. “Let me explain,” I said.
Letting out a laugh, Emily took a few steps away as Mason quickly came to her side. “Explain? Oh, there’s no explaining, Holden. You went off to California and found something better.” Emylie’s voice cracked as I shook my head.
“You didn’t even have the decency to come back to Texas and tell me in person. You did it over the phone like a coward! Led me on to believe we had a future together!” Emylie shouted. Tears began to fall and I wanted nothing more than to reach out for her. “I hate you, Holden. I hate you with every ounce of my being.”
My whole body trembled as I watched her fall apart. “No. Don’t say that. Em … please let’s just talk …”
Emylie held up one hand then covered her mouth with the other as she tried to calm down. Dropping her hand, she shook her head. “No … I don’t have anything to say to you, Holden. You left me feeling like a fool. You made promises you never intended on keeping.”
“That’s not true, Em. Baby, if you would let me talk I could—”
“Don’t call me that!” Shaking my head frantically, I backed away from the heat of her body. “You said your goodbyes, Holden. Let’s leave it at that. What we had is over … the past belongs in the past. I hope you and your fiancée enjoy your time back home.”
Emylie pushed past me and walked off quickly. Closing my eyes, I dropped my head and whispered, “Fuck.”
With a quick look forward, I saw Mason staring at me. He gave me a once over and turned to tend to the horses. “Mason, you don’t understand.”
He dropped his hands and turned to me. “You’re right, Holden, I don’t understand. I’ve never understood, and you’ve never tried to help me or Emylie with that.” Shaking his head, he pointed to me and said, “This … this guy standing in front of me is not the same guy who left here to go to California. That guy would have killed the person who made Emylie feel the way she’s felt since you called and destroyed her entire world.”
I glanced down and kicked at the dirt on the barn floor. “Things changed. I changed, Mason.”
Mason mumbled something under his breath as he turned back to the horse. “What was that, Mason?”
Pulling the saddle off of the horse Emylie had been riding, he placed it over the rail. “I said, you’re damn right you’ve changed. You know what’s really sad, Holden. I hear it in your voice. Every time you call me, I hear how unhappy you really are. It’s a damn shame you don’t hear it too.”
I made my way over to him with my fists clenched. “You have no fucking idea about my life.”
Mason dropped the saddle, grabbed me by the shirt, and pushed me against the stall door. “Your life was with Emylie! Here on your family’s ranch. Not living in LA and fucking some snobby ass bitch who clearly doesn’t hold a candle to Emylie.”
Pushing him away from me, I tried to stay calm. “Don’t you talk about Daphne like that. You don’t know a damn thing about her.”
Mason took a few steps away from me and smirked. “You’re right dude, I don’t. But the little bit I saw today, I feel sorry for you. It’s pretty obvious to me you picked the wrong girl.”
He reached down for the saddle and headed to the tack room as my anger grew exponentially. “Well it looks like to me, Mason, you made out on that wrong pick. How long have you been fucking Tink?”
Mason dropped the saddle again and before I knew what was happening, he punched me in the face, causing me to stumble backward and fall into a hay bale.
He shook his head and pointed at me. “You left her alone and hurt. I was the only one there for her, and I’ll always be there for her in any way she needs me. Any. I have nothing else to say to you, Holden. You’re right … you are a changed man.”
Lifting my hand to my mouth, I quickly wiped away the blood as I watched Mason round the corner.
I dropped my head into my hands and let out a frustrated yell. “Motherfucker!”
The whole reason I had kept away from Brady, Texas was to keep from hurting Emylie. I wasn’t back more than an hour and I had successfully caused her to cry, tell me she hated me, and walk away from me. I caused my best friend to punch me, and I was positive I had deserved a hell of a lot more than what he gave me.
Rubbing the back of my neck, I sighed. “Son-of-a-bitch. This is going to be a long week.”
“TELL ME YOU are kidding right?” Becca stated as she pushed Sage on the swing in the backyard of my parents’ bed and breakfast.
Sitting on the steps that led to the yard, I replied, “Nope. He’s back and he brought her home to meet his family.”
Becca shook her head and uttered, “Wow. And they’re engaged?”
Sage turned to Becca. “What’s enraged mean, Momma?”
Becca smiled a sweet smile and answered, “See Aunt Emylie’s face, baby girl?” Sage turned back to me and nodded. “That’s the look of someone who is enraged. But Aunt Emylie said, ‘engaged.’ That means two people are gettin’ married.”
“Oh,” Sage said as my mother chuckled from behind me and I frowned at Becca.
“I can’t believe Debbie didn’t give you a warning or something. I’m going to have to call her and give her a piece of my mind,” my mother stated as she sat next to me.
I wrapped my arms around her. “Now, now, Momma. Don’t be getting all upset. You might say something you’ll regret and cause me to lose my job.”
Brushing me off with her hand, momma shook her head. “Bullshit. Debbie and Sam would never let you go. They need you too much.”
Becca and I both let out a gasp. “Momma! You swore,” I exclaimed as I looked back at Becca who was attempting to cover her smile.
My mother never swore. I’d only ever heard her swear one other time, when I called to tell her Holden called and said he met someone else. She called him an asshole. I’ll never forget it for as long as I live.
Momma stood up and placed her hands on her hip. “That’s
right, I did. And I’ll do it again. I’m mad at that boy. How dare he bring her here? How dare he flaunt her right in front of you? I’m … I’m …”
“Pissed.”
Turning around, my mouth dropped as I stared up at my father standing in the doorway.
“Oh hell, things just got really fun,” Becca declared with a chuckle.
My mother pointed to my father. “Yes! That’s right. I’m pissed. I’m pissed beyond belief. I’m so pissed that I’m going to go … go …”
I leaned forward and waited to hear what my mother was going to go do.
“What? What are you going to go do?” Becca asked with anticipation in her voice.
My mother dragged in a deep breath, slowly blew it out, and replied, “I’m going to bake my famous apple pie and bring it out to them. Welcome that jerk-off and his new girl back home. Then I’m going to tell Debbie I’m putting my apple pie and my lemon pie into the pie competition at the jubilee.”
I covered my mouth with my hands and stood. “Momma! You know Debbie lives for that competition. If you put your pies in, she might lose.”
My mother gave me a wink and shrugged. “Maybe it’s time she did lose.” Turning on her heels, my mother headed back into the house. “Come along, Mario. We have to go to the grocery store.”
Glancing back over my shoulder at Becca, I shook my head and laughed. “What in the heck just happened?”
Becca reached down and scooped up Sage and started laughing. “Momma Sanchez got pissed, that’s what happened.”
Momma stuck her head out the back door and stated, “Girls, I think you both need to go dancing tonight. I’ll watch Sage.”
“Thanks Mrs. Sanchez! Sounds like a plan to me,” Becca said as she began twirling Sage around. “Yay! Mommy gets to go dancing tonight.”
I laughed as I walked up and took Sage from Becca while she kept dancing. Setting the little girl down, I began to dance with her as a familiar voice spoke.
“Y’all look like you’re having a little bit too much fun.”
Hearing Mason’s voice made me smile. He walked up and took Sage in his arms and began dancing with her. Every now and then, he would dip her and make her start laughing. Stepping back, I watched how he interacted with Sage. My gaze drifted over to see Becca smiling at the two of them. Sage’s father didn’t have much to do with the poor little thing. He was more interested in his new girlfriend who lived in Austin.
Maybe it was time for me to move on? Clearly, dickhead Holden had moved on. Chewing on my bottom lip, I stared at Mason. I needed to let him go. It was becoming more and more clear to me how much Mason and Becca liked each other. Even though neither would admit it.
Laughing as he spun Sage, Mason stared at me and tilted his head. “What’s wrong, Em?”
I lifted the left corner of my mouth into a smile, I shook my head. “Nothing. I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight, dancing with me and Becca.”
Mason gave me a sexier-than-hell grin then took in Becca. “Dancing with two beautiful women. Who would turn that down?”
Mason made his way over to Becca, slid his hand around her waist, and dipped her. I couldn’t help but laugh at the exchange.
“Aunt Emylie! Uncle Mason and Momma are dancing!” Sage called out.
Seeing Becca laugh at the attention, I knew it was time to break things off between me and Mason. “Oh, believe me, Sage baby, I see.”
Mason must have realized I was standing there. He quickly let go of Becca and headed back over to her daughter. With a kiss on the cheek, he said, “I’ve got to go, Sage. I’ll see you later, okay?”
Sage blushed and whispered, “Okay, Uncle Mason.”
He lifted his hand and waved to Becca as he called out, “Later, Becca.”
Giving him a wave, Becca answered, “Yep. See ya later, Mason.”
Taking my elbow with his hand, Mason began leading me out of the backyard and around to the front of the house. We walked to his truck in silence, stopped and I leaned against it. Mason placed both hands on his truck, pinning me against it. “I’m sorry he hurt you again, Em. I wish he hadn’t even come back to town.”
I swallowed hard and shook my head. “I’m not, Mason. I see now that it’s time for me to put the past in the past.” Pulling my lower lip in between my teeth, I searched his face. “It’s time for us both to move on.”
Mason’s gaze peered into my own. I wasn’t sure how to read him. “Time to move on?”
Slowly nodding, I smiled. “I see the way you look at her, Mason.”
Glancing away, he replied, “You’re wrong.”
“Am I? Answer this for me then. If we didn’t have this,” I pointed between our bodies, “between us, you wouldn’t be interested in dating another girl. In dating Becca?”
Mason swallowed hard. “I’ve dated girls, Em. You know that. I feel sorry for Becca, that’s all. With the way that fucker treated her, she deserved better. I never did understand what she saw in him.”
I placed my hand over his chest. “Mason, stop denying your feelings for her.”
His eyes filled with terror. He was holding back something from me.
“Talk to me, Mason.”
“It’s different between you and me, Em. What we have is fun … an escape. What if things didn’t turn out and I lost her friendship? I love spending time with her and Sage.”
Mason brought donuts every Saturday morning to Becca’s house. The three of them had a tea party on the front porch while they ate donuts and sipped orange juice from plastic teacups. I knew that time they spent together meant a lot to all of them.
“We can’t hide behind each other any more, and we certainly can’t keep using sex as a coping tool.”
Sage sung as she skipped by us. Mason took a step away from me, realizing how close we were. He quickly glanced over to Becca.
Her smile was strained. I was probably the worse best friend on the planet to be sleeping with the man my best friend liked. In my defense, she had been married when it first started.
“See y’all later?” Becca asked.
Lifting my hand, I replied, “See ya later.”
Without saying a word to me, Mason walked around his truck and got in. Stepping away, I watched as he drove off.
I wasn’t sure how I was feeling right then. Scared. Angry. Maybe even lonely.
The one thing I knew for sure was that as much as it hurt to move on from the safety net of Mason, I knew it was the right thing to do. For him, me, and especially Becca and Sage. If Mason felt anything for Becca, I wasn’t about to stand in their way.
Turning back to the house I had grown up in, I stared at it. The soft blue two-story house warmed my body. The historical marker on it was something my parents were both so proud of. It was now a bed and breakfast. I had long since moved out and into my grandmother’s old house, giving up my room for some young couple in love.
My stomach turned thinking about Holden and Daphne. Now that he was bringing her home to Texas, that meant I’d be seeing them more. Could I handle that? Seeing him today only confirmed my feelings have not changed. I may hate him, but I loved him still. I’d always love him.
I pulled out my phone and sent a text message to a friend I had met in college.
Me: Hey! Long time no talk! How is Utah?
Jamie: OMG! Emmie! Utah is amazing. Come to me!
Chewing on my lip, I hit reply.
Me: I may be looking at relocating. I’m thinking a visit is in order.
Jamie: Do not kid with me, Em. Are you being for real?
Me: Yes.
A tear fell from my face and I closed my eyes. The only way I could truly move on was to leave the memories behind. Everywhere I looked was a memory of Holden.
Jamie: Tell me when and I’m so there. I’ll show you everything. Oh, Em, you would love Park City.
My chest tightened. Could I really leave the town I grew up in? Leave all of my friends? Mason, Becca, and Sage. What about my parents?
&nb
sp; Me: I’m sure I would. I’ll call you some time next week. We’ll talk dates.
Jamie: Sounds good! I’m so excited!
The screen door opened and I glanced up to see my mother standing there. Forcing a smile, I pushed my phone into my back pocket and headed her way.
Walking up the steps, my mother held her arms open as I walked into them and silently cried into her chest.
I PARKED NEXT to what I was pretty sure was Mason’s truck. Would he be here with Emylie? I sure as hell hoped not.
“Holden, why must we be here?” Daphne whined in the seat next to me. “I wanted to go to Austin today to do some shopping and your mother had me in the kitchen almost all day. Ever since that Mrs. Sanchez woman dropped off a few pies your mother has gone insane.”
I tried to hold my laughter back as I thought back to the look on my mother’s face when Kim said she was entering her pies into the competition during this year’s jubilee. I thought it would have been awkward with Emylie’s mom being there, but it wasn’t. She was pleasant like she always was. Welcoming Daphne to Brady with a damn apple pie. I quickly figured out what she was doing. Killing us both with kindness. I was half-tempted to ask her what she spiked the pie with.
“Daphne, I want you to see this side of me. This is a huge part of who I am. If we’re getting married and having a baby, I’d think you’d want to know a little more of who you’re marrying.”
Daphne shuddered as she glared at the entrance to Twin Oaks Dance Hall. “A run-down dance hall is a part of who you are, Holden? I think I liked being in the dark about this part of you. Besides, I know all I need to know.”
Sighing in frustration, I turned to see my parents pulling up. My father had been polite to Daphne, but he had yet to speak to me. “It’s the kick-off to the jubilee tonight. My parents are going to be here and I’m sure some friends I grew up with as well. It’s an annual celebration and the start to our family reunion.”
“Will Emylie be here?” Daphne asked.