by Amy Brent
“Teaching?” He arched an eyebrow. “That works too. I have some contacts at quite a few universities. I can help set you up with something.”
“I don't need your help.” I shook my head. “I can get by on my own merits.”
“Of course.” He gave me an apologetic smile. “I didn't mean to imply otherwise.”
We were quiet for a while as we ate. I couldn't figure out how to say the things that needed to be said, or ask the things that needed to be asked. I couldn't just come right out and tell him I was pregnant. He'd want to get married and take care of the baby, just because it was the right thing to do. But then I'd spend the rest of my life not knowing whether he actually wanted me, whether he loved me, or whether he was just saddled with me because he'd knocked me up.
Damn, I wished I hadn't gone and gotten myself into this mess.
“So what about the future?” I asked him.
“Our future?” he asked. “I hope it will be a bright one.”
“But have you actually thought about it?” I put down my fork and peered at him from across the table. “We had a fun few weeks out there, sure. But did you ever stop to think about whether it was going anywhere?”
“Actually,” he said, “I haven't been able to think about much of anything else.” He wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin, then set it on the table. “Listen, Camille. I'm not going to make any promises. This is just the beginning, right? We've got time to figure things out. I just want to get to know you more, to become a part of your life. And we can figure out the rest as we go along, can't we?”
“No,” I said, tears welling in my eyes. “We can't.”
“Why not?” He looked so distraught, half rising from his chair as if he thought I was about to run out the door and he'd need to catch me.
“Because I'm pregnant.”
He stared at me for a long moment. He settled back into his chair. He cleared his throat, then took a sip of his champagne.
“Oh,” he said.
“Oh?” I stared at him, leaning forward with my palms on the table. “Oh? Is that all you have to say? God damn it, Jack, I'm having a baby. Your baby. Don'tcha have anything more to say about that?”
“Have you been to a doctor yet?” he asked. “I can find you the best OBGYN in the state. And don't worry about the cost, I'll take care of everything.”
I sat there and stared at him. “That...that's it?” I grabbed my napkin and threw it at him. “You want to know about the damn doctor?”
He caught the napkin and set it aside. “I'm not sure what else to say. I'm a practical person, Camille. Your health, the baby's health, that's the most important thing. The first thing I thought of.”
I let the tension release from my shoulders. It was actually sweet, when I thought about it. He heard that I was pregnant, and his first instinct was to take care of me.
“What else do we need to talk about?” he asked. “Living arrangements? We've got time until the baby is born, so maybe we—”
“I want to talk about us, Jack.” I clenched the edge of the tablecloth in my fists. “I wasn't ready for this. I don't know what's going to happen. And before you even think it, don't go popping the question on me now. I want to focus on doing what's right for this baby, first, before we consider whether we want to get married or something. But we need to figure 'us' out. Figure out where this is going, how we're going to manage things.”
He smiled and rose from his chair, then circled around the table and knelt beside me. He took my hands in his and gave them an affectionate squeeze. “Don't you worry at all, Camille. We're going to take this one day at a time. We've got months before the baby is due, and we can spend that time getting to know each other more. Growing closer to each other. I'll make sure the baby is provided for, you have my word on that. And we'll figure 'us' out. The important thing is moving forward, right? We'll make a great future together. And when the time is right, when we have all the pieces in place and we know we're doing it for us, and not for the wrong reasons, then we'll talk about marriage, and the future, and all of that. Okay?”
Tears welled in my eyes. All I could do was nod. I leaned over and kissed his lips, glad that he was here for me, that he wasn't going to try to push me into something before I was ready. It was going to be a strange life, raising a baby with a daddy who was a billionaire and an ex-Navy SEAL. And a white boy, on top of that. My mama wouldn't bat an eyelash at the rest of it, but when I brought a white boy home to meet her, she was going to blow her top.
I put my arms around him and cradled his head against my chest. I hadn't expected any of this to happen, and I knew I wasn't ready for it. But was anyone ever really ready for a baby? The important thing was that our child would have two loving parents who would do anything to support and care for them. And I knew Jack would do whatever it took to provide for his child. Our baby wouldn't have to live through the kind of struggles my family had gone through while I was growing up. It wouldn't ever have to worry about whether there would be dinner on the table, or whether we could afford to take it to the doctor. It would grow up and go to college without ever having to worry about debt.
I cupped Jack's cheeks in my hands and raised his face towards mine. We kissed as tears of relief fell down my cheeks. After a few moments, our kiss became more urgent, filled with need. Jack stood up and took my hands, then led me out of the restaurant and to his car. We kissed more sitting in the parking lot, his hands roaming my body like we were a couple of teenagers. Then we went back to my apartment.
We headed back to the bedroom almost immediately. I worried about what Jack would think of my simple place, with my IKEA furniture and my dirty clothes strewn all over the floor. But he didn't show any signs of judgment for my middle-class lifestyle. He just focused on my needs, on my touch.
He lowered me onto the bed, gentle as can be. There was none of the urgent, athletic movement from our prior encounters. He was slow. He was tender. We savored every moment. He slowly pulled my clothes off, one piece at a time, his lips trailing kisses over the bare skin he exposed. Shivers ran up and down my body, and while part of me wanted to tell him to hurry and give me what I desperately needed, a bigger part of me wanted to cherish this experience.
We made love deep into the night, an elegant melding of our bodies into one. I lost track of time, of where Jack ended and I began, and of any worries beyond his touch, his kiss, his loving caress. Then, once it was over and our energy was spent, we lay there together as two lovers sharing each other's embrace.
Eventually Jack dozed off, and for a time I watched him sleep. My fingers traced tiny caresses along the lines of his face. I thought about the future and what it would bring. I thought about the life growing inside of me. I wondered whether it would be a boy or a girl. No matter what, this child would know love, support, and kindness in its life.
Our new life together would start the next day. I could already see it now. A new home, something simple, with no need for excessive luxuries. A big back yard our child could play in, unlike the row home I'd grown up in with barely more than a patch of scruffy grass out back. The best schools, the best care. And once our baby was grown, I knew we'd see the world together. I'd take my child to Africa, make sure it knew its roots. Recapture all of the history that my family had once lost. Laying there with Jack, dreaming of the future, I almost felt like I could actually see it all happening, like the folds of time were open to me and my baby's life was laid out there for me to explore.
In the morning I awoke with Jack still there in my arms. He opened his weary eyes and looked at me, a pleasant exhaustion etched across his features.
“Morning,” he said.
“Morning, love,” I said, smiling at him.
We kissed, then we touched, then we made love again as streams of early dawn sunlight poured over us through the bedroom window. Eventually we got dressed, lost in the quiet comfort of two people who had shared the deepest parts of themselves. The gentle romance of the moment lasted
until a grumbling in my stomach reminded me that we hadn't really finished dinner last night.
“Hungry?” Jack asked as he pulled on his shoes.
“Mm-hmm.” I sighed, remembering that I hadn't stocked up the fridge since I got back into the country. “Can we go out to eat?”
“Certainly.” Jack smirked, standing up and buckling on his belt. That swagger that had first drawn me to him was back in his every step. “As a matter of fact, I know a lovely little place.”
“Oh?” I could see by the mischievous light in his eyes that he was up to something.
“In Paris,” he said. A grin slowly spread across his face.
“Well, what are we waiting for?” I said. We didn't bother to pack. Jack promised to buy me new clothes once we got there. I couldn't wait to see what the most romantic city in the world had in store for us. And it would be nice to travel around the world for pleasure, for once, instead of digging up ancient ruins and getting shot at by terrorists.
Though I reminded myself that when you were dating a rich, powerful, charming Navy SEAL, just about anything could happen.
SEALED BY DESIRE
Blake
When I stormed out of the office, I was still livid at my commanding officers. I knew that I had left in a rush of anger and emotions, but they probably expected that.
They wanted me to get some therapy. Therapy? Me? I was a Navy Seal and was taught to handle situations on my own. I didn’t ask for help. Working was everything to me, and it was bad enough that I was home in Maryland now due to an atrocious mess that happened back in Afghanistan. Sure, it was great to take my bike around on rides here and there, but I had been home for two weeks now. I was starting to get restless.
I found the shiny Harley in the parking lot and started the engine with a roar before I veered out into the street.
The accident still played through my mind. Accident wasn’t even the proper word. We were out in a small village over there in Afghanistan looking for a missing soldier and practicing the same safe techniques that we always did. It was supposed to be quick and thorough and quite honestly, something we did a lot.
I loved being a Seal. I knew back in Senior year in high school that I wanted to join the military and get out there. I wanted to derive my country as the other men in my family had done and do it well, just as they had. I chose the Navy with the hopes that I would be selected to train as a Seal, and I was just after I finished boot camp.
That was ten years ago, and I had never looked back, even though I was thrown off a little. Just a little and not needing therapy like they suggested back there. Fucking therapy. That was for really crazy people, and I had never made a move like that in my life. I lived very methodically, and all of my training was always in my mind, and I lived my life by all of those rules since joining the Navy. Hell, even before that I had a plan for my life watching my grandfather work his way through twenty years as well as my father in the Navy.
I remembered my mother accepting that is what her husband chose, and she did a great job raising me. I also knew that she was lonely a lot despite having my brother and me around, as well as visiting with other military wives on the various bases that we lived on over the years. I had made a pact that I wouldn’t do that to a woman, that I would just focus on my job and the chaos that I would be surrounded by. There wasn’t room for a wife and a family in my life plan. I spent the night with a girl every so often to get my growing needs met and feel the warmth of a body, but they never stuck after the evening was over. They barely stayed the night most of the time.
I saw one of the most popular bars that the guys frequented and pulled into the lot to park by the door. I needed some bourbon to clear my head so I could argue with my bosses tomorrow and not be angry and uncommunicative as I had been today. It might be a good night to find a woman and work out some of my frustrations on her. That would do the trick.
I remembered the incident as I started to walk through the thick door. We were in the middle of our search around the village when suddenly I saw movement up ahead, and shots were fired. I dropped to the ground while preparing my gun to shoot back and watched as several others joined me behind the small hill and did the same.
It was a mess of gunfire and voices as we responded to the attack and ended up killing off the group of men that had opened fire first. Once it was all said and done, we stood up and took a good look around. First, we made sure that all threats seemed to be down, and then I trudged around to see who didn’t get up with us to do the same.
I found seven men down and checked pulses as I moved along. It killed me as I had to do this but my training told me to keep calm and pay attention to my surroundings.
The newest guy on our team was first, just a young twenty-year-old. His head was blown open, and I choked down my anger as I looked at him and contained it within my body.
The others helped me, and I heard someone call my name as I left one of the older men dead on the ground of a gunshot to the chest. “Brandon?”
“Yeah?” I asked as I glanced over to see my Lieutenant Commander James looking at me with an intense gaze and I frowned.
“Come over here.” His voice was sad as he spoke and I took a substantial step forward. I knew that I hadn’t heard Roger’s voice in this madness, and I prayed silently for my best friend to be alive. If anything, I wanted my best friend since grade school to be one of the ones that didn’t make it.
I found myself at the bar as I blinked and was forced back into the present. I slid into the nearest barstool and rested my hands on the smooth wood as I took a deep breath, “What can I get for you?” Matt asked me with a grin as I stared back at him. He was well-known by all of us, but I couldn’t make myself smile back.
“The best bourbon you have,” I said as he raised an eyebrow and nodded. “I’m on a break, man. I’m not working today.”
“Coming right up.” He turned and got a thick glass and reached up to get the nearly full bottle on the shelf as I became lost in my thoughts again.
We had all come back from the mission immediately, though I didn’t remember most of the last two weeks since I saw Roger’s broken body on the ground. I was home recovering from the mild bumps and bruises that I had received and the loss of Roger as well as the other men on my team. We spent so much time together that they were all like family to me. My commanding officers were looking into the details of the attack and giving us all a breather, but that also meant that I had a series of funerals to attend.
They were all awful, but Roger’s would be forever in my mind. I could still see his parents weeping in the front row with his two younger brothers and older sister staring stoically at the pristine white coffin with the flag covering it. A picture of him looked at all of us mourning his loss as I felt tears slide down my cheeks. My parents sat beside me as Mom wept and Dad comforted her with his arm around her tightly while I sat still and silent.
His wife sat across the row from his family with her three kids as she clutched a tissue in her hands. Her parents were sitting with all of them for support, the kind I should be giving her instead of hiding in this row like a stranger I glanced at her for a moment as she bent her head forward to cry harder. I didn’t need to see her swollen stomach to be reminded that their newest daughter would never meet her father now. His wife would be raising her alone along with her other children, apart from any help from her family, as well as Roger’s. It just would never be her Dad.
I would never have a family that way, one that I might only ultimately abandon in my job. I couldn’t live with the idea.
I slammed down the drink and took a deep breath as I signaled for another. Matt gave me a long look but brought the bottle over to refill my glass. I liked a man that sensed my need, and I drank that one back as well.
The words of my mentor Michael rang through my ears as I let the alcohol slide down my throat. He had always assured me to do the job the way that I knew I could and that bad things would happen along the way. Losi
ng him five years ago in his mission had hit me hard but his words filled me with strength, and I just hoped that they could now.
I was aware that someone was sitting next to me at the crowded bar, and I glanced over as I signaled Matt over. It was a woman, curvy and exotic looking with olive skin and big green eyes and I felt my body instantly react to her. She was beautiful with her features and that full mouth that could make me forget all of my troubles, and I grinned at Matt as he looked at the both of us.
“I’m drinking bourbon. What would you like?” When she asked for the same, I felt my cock harden in my pants as desire surged through my body. Fuck therapy, I just need this woman in my bed tonight.
Aspen
What a day it had been. I pulled up to the bar as I thought about how many patients I told not to drink to deal with their issues on a daily basis. Screw it. Talking a soldier through the killing of several children, enemies or not, made for a very emotional burden on my shoulders that I needed to release somehow. What a last meeting before I came here to start a new job.
Screw it.
I had stopped at my new home for my Harley since I wanted the power and the growl of the engine for a stress-relieving ride that would be perfect ending here. My big Tahoe had been ideal for all of my belongings that came with me, as well as my two dogs, but I needed some me time after the day long drive and the little bit of unloading I had done.
Parking around the corner from the bar a bit, since it was so crowded, I noticed that there was a shiny black bike similar to mine parked in the same area. It was beautiful, and I compared it to my gray one with a smile. I wondered if the owner was as hot as the bike but that was not what I was here for. I just needed a drink or two and then a good night’s sleep. I ran a hand through my thick brown hair after I removed my helmet from my head and sauntered through the door into the crowded room. My eyes searched for a spot as I nibbled on my pink lip, and then I smiled as I saw a seat right at the bar. Perfect.