Without wasting another second reminiscing over my career with Keith, I turned to my new home with Cox Racing. The garage doors were rolled open, and, even from where I was standing, I could hear Kenzie’s voice. The sound of her laughter was painful music to my ears; it was a sound I’d give anything to be able to produce from her again.
Hands in my pockets, I forced myself to calmly continue walking over to the Cox garages. I can do this. A rider was leaving the track right as I walked past the entrance. I glanced over to see who it was, then stopped when I saw Rodney popping open his visor.
He smiled at me, then nodded over to where I’d been headed. “Starting your new gig today?”
A humorless laugh escaped me. “Keith knows about that already?” I asked, not really all that surprised.
Rodney’s face turned incredulous. “You know how small this world is. He’s pissed, by the way. Thinks you betrayed him by going over to the enemy.”
Right, I betrayed him. “You agree with him?”
He considered me for long moment before answering. “Nah. You tried to work things out with Keith, but from what I could tell, he was being an insufferable dick. I would have quit too.”
His comment made me happy, but I had to wonder…things between us were actually improving, would that end now that we were no longer teammates? “Do you think the Cox/Benneti ban will be back in effect? Now that Cox Racing has reopened?” If so, he shouldn’t be on the track right now, since it was technically Cox time. And we shouldn’t be talking; during the old ban, that was a fireable offense.
Rodney sighed, like he wasn’t sure if the ban should be in place or not. “I don’t know. Since it’s Kenzie’s team now, and not Jordan’s, maybe Keith won’t be so strict about the whole thing. I mean, I understand not getting too friendly with the competition…” He frowned as his thought faded, then he shook his head. “Nah, fuck that. No harm in hanging out as far as I can tell.” Tilting his head, a sympathetic look touched his face. “How’s your kid, man? Get out of the hospital okay?”
Touched that he was asking, that he seemed to want some sort of friendship, I nodded and grinned. “Yeah, she’s home and doing much better. Thanks.”
Rodney grinned too. “Good, glad to hear it. Guess I better go report to Keith. Even though the season’s over, he’s acting like the first race of the year is about to start.”
He rolled his eyes, and I laughed at the gesture. “Yeah, well, I think he might be in a good mood when you get back. He just rehired Felicia.” I wasn’t sure if he had—I supposed he could have turned her down out of spite—but odds were good she was a Benneti again.
Rodney’s eyes widened in shock. “Really? Damn, that is good news. That girl is so fucking hot.” Clearing his throat, he quickly added, “And talented, too…of course.”
Of course. Well, if he wanted to make a play for her, he was welcome to it. Maybe if Felicia was dating someone else, Kenzie might finally realize that I wasn’t interested in her, and she’d take me back.
I waved a quick goodbye to Rodney, and turned back to the garages. Each step closer was a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Would today be the day we worked everything out? I hoped so. When I got close enough to the doors, I could see Kenzie standing there, talking to Nikki. Nikki looked like she was trying not to be sick, and Kenzie’s face was scrunched in concern for her friend. God, I loved that look on her. I loved every look on her—even pissed.
Suddenly, she twisted around and looked right at me. Our eyes locked, and my breath caught in my throat. Jesus—the wildness in her wavy hair, the fullness of her kissable lips, the intelligence in her eyes…Rodney had it all wrong. Felicia wasn’t the hot one. Kenzie was. I stumbled on my step, caught off guard by the intensity in her gaze. Kenzie turned away with a heavy exhale, like she’d been trapped by my stare. Then she said something to Nikki…and walked away. The disappointment nearly crushed me where I stood. She wasn’t even going to talk to me? We’d never be able to work together this way. Something had to give.
My face felt rigid as I walked into the garage. Nikki still looked green, but she waved when she saw me. “Hey, Hayden. Kenzie had to…well, she said…” With a heavy exhale, she gave up trying to make up excuses for her friend. “She just needs more time.”
Heaviness settled over me. More time. I’d already given her weeks. If she couldn’t even—shit. There really was no hope for us. “Thanks,” I told Nikki, my voice subdued. Shoving aside my own problems, I quietly asked her, “You okay? You look like you’re about to throw up. Bad breakfast burrito or something?”
She immediately slapped a hand over her mouth. Her eyes hardened into daggers, like she was blaming me for her stomach, then she bolted from the room, heading for the locker room. Damn. Was it something I said?
Someone behind me felt the same way. “What the hell did you say to her, man?”
Looking behind me, I saw Myles walking into the garage. He was holding a duffel bag in one hand, his racing helmet in the other. He was moving in today, same as me. Only I didn’t have anything yet. Keith had provided everything for me, so I was showing up empty-handed; not a good feeling. “Hey, Myles. I didn’t say anything to her. I think she ate something bad.”
Hopefully that was all it was. I couldn’t handle someone else I cared about being truly sick. And I did care about Nikki. She’d been a great mechanic, and, even though she’d always kind of been in the middle of Kenzie and me, she’d been a good friend too. Hopefully I could return the favor one day.
“Congratulations on winning the championship. That was an amazing race,” I said, trying to change the subject, since Myles seemed unconvinced.
From the look he was giving me, it was clear he was trying to find some sort of hidden meaning in my praise. Search all you want, I’m being sincere. Finally, his lips curved into a barely-there smile. “Thanks.” Glancing over at the locker room, he said, “I better go check on Nikki.”
I nodded, but then put a hand up to stop him from moving. “I know I’ve said this before, but I really am sorry about what happened to you last year.” I hesitated a second, debating, and then I added, “I didn’t directly have anything to do with the accident, but…a friend of mine did. I didn’t know until it was too late, and then…I didn’t do enough to stop him. I felt stuck. I felt responsible. I felt obligated to stay silent for him. I felt…like shit. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry you got caught up in what he was doing, I’m sorry I didn’t do more. I hope one day you can forgive me, because I really respect you.”
Holding my breath, I extended my hand to him. I’d never quite so bluntly admitted that much to him, and I hope he took it as closure, instead of ammunition that he could take to the officials. His dark eyes scrutinized me for seemingly countless minutes before finally setting his helmet on a table and grabbing my hand. “I’m assuming this…friend…is no longer a problem?” he asked.
Smiling, I shook my head. No, somehow Hookup had finally grown up. “He won’t touch another bike again. And, if for some reason he ever does, I’ll turn him in myself.”
Myles cracked a genuine smile as he let go of my hand. “Welcome to the team, Hayden. This should be an interesting year.”
I couldn’t disagree with that.
After Myles disappeared, I looked around the garage for Kenzie. She was nowhere in sight, so I had to assume she was upstairs in her new office.
As I trudged my way up the stairs, I looked around at the small changes Kenzie had already made to the garage—there was new paint on the walls, new windows in the garage doors, new signs on the walls. Where everything had looked rundown and forgotten before, it was bright and alive with new energy now. Kenzie’s energy. She’d even revitalized the Cox Racing logo, freshening it up for a younger feel. When I reached the upstairs, I noticed her handiwork there too. It was like the entire building had heaved a grateful sigh of relief that she had come and saved it; I understood the feeling.
Kenzie’s office door was closed, her name prou
dly displayed in large chrome letters, along with the title—owner—underneath it. Seeing her position made me smile as I rapped on the door with my knuckle. Silence. I tried again, a little harder this time. When there still was no answer, I rolled my eyes and said, “Come on, Kenzie. I work for you now…you can’t ignore an employee.”
The door instantly opened. “Technically you haven’t filled out the paperwork yet, so you’re not actually an employee.”
I frowned as I considered that. “Did you change your mind about hiring me?” Please say no.
Kenzie sighed, then walked over to stand behind her desk, like she needed the heavy piece of furniture between us. “No. I still need a rider of your caliber on my team.” I raised my eyebrow, testing her, and she sighed. “I need you, okay?”
Her words singed me with an unexpected jolt of pain, and I cringed. I need you. God, how I wanted that to be true. Like she understood my reaction, she quickly added, “On the team. I need you on the team.”
Forcing a smile, I nodded. “Good. This is where I want to be.” You’re where I want to be.
Kenzie’s mouth popped open like she’d heard my mental addition. Licking her lips, she grabbed some papers off her desk and began nervously rifling through them. “I’ve got some stuff for you to fill out—standard employment paperwork. Do you have your driver’s license with you? I’ll need to make a copy…”
Stepping over to her, I put my hand over hers, stopping her incessant shuffling. “You’re nervous. Do I make you nervous?” I’d made her several things since I’d met her, but nervous had never seemed to be one of them.
Fire instantly sprang into her eyes. There’s my girl. “No, you don’t. I just have a lot to do right now, and I told you to meet with John, not me. If you can’t listen to simple instructions, then—”
A laugh burst out of me before I could stop it. She was mad at me for not following directions? For wanting to see her? Bullshit. She was mad because she wanted me here. And she didn’t want to want me. It was our age-old problem, resurfacing its ugly head. “Nikki said you needed time. Is that true? Are you thinking about…?” Firmly pressing my lips together, I stopped myself from asking her about us.
Kenzie pulled away from where I was touching her. Sighing, she put down the papers. “Felicia told me that you guys didn’t sleep together. She told me you were faithful, even when you didn’t have to be. She said I shouldn’t give up on you…”
Hope squeezed my heart so hard I thought it might burst. Was she giving us a chance? I moved around to her side of the desk, but she put her hand up, stopping me. “Even if you didn’t sleep with her, even if you never did anything inappropriate with her…you still lied to me. How can I ever trust you, Hayden? How can we possibly work?”
Panic surged inside me; I knew I had one shot at fixing this. One. That was it. “I’m thickheaded, I know that, but I’ve learned, Kenzie. This lesson has sunk in.”
She rolled her eyes, but I grabbed her arms, holding her gaze. “Being without you all this time…it’s been hell. And if you’re offering me a way out of hell, then there’s no way I’d ever risk going back. If you set me free from this prison, I’ll do everything in my power to stay free, to stay true, to stay with you. You have every piece of my heart, and I can’t imagine any reason on this Earth why I’d ever lie to you again. I don’t think I even could. You’re my best friend, you’re my family, and nothing feels real if you’re not there with me. I can’t function without you. I don’t want to. I don’t want to go another day without you by my side.”
I couldn’t think of more to say except begging her over and over to forgive me, and I didn’t think that would sway her. My heart was pounding as I stared into her eyes. Please say something before I explode. She didn’t though. She just kept looking at me, analyzing me, trying to determine if she could trust me. I couldn’t take the silence, I couldn’t take the scrutiny. I needed action.
“Fuck it,” I murmured, then I leaned forward and found her lips. Hot fire surged through me as we connected. God, I’d missed this.
I expected Kenzie to get pissed and shove me away, expected her to end this immediately. But she didn’t. She did the opposite. She attacked me. Her arms wrapped around my body, her fingers dug into my scalp, and she let out a groan that sent shockwaves of pleasure to my cock. Fuck, yes.
Our kiss intensified, and I had to steady my feet to keep from falling over. As I engulfed her in my arms, a part of me wondered what this meant. Had she forgiven me? Taken me back? Were we fine? Because I really needed us to be fine.
When her tongue stroked mine, all coherent thought escaped me, and pure, animal instinct took over. Leaning down, I cleared off her desk with one swoosh of my arm. Paper, pens, and a Cox Racing mug that I hoped was empty went crashing to the ground. Kenzie groaned again as I backed her into the desk. She dropped her head back, and I instantly trailed kisses along her neck, lower and lower, to the top of her chest.
Her shirt had half-a-dozen buttons keeping it modest. I didn’t want modesty at the moment, and popped open the buttons. When I could see a black-lacy bra peeking at me, I swept aside her shirt and kissed a gloriously rigid nipple through the fabric.
Kenzie exhaled a shuddering breath, then finally pushed me away. She scooted back until she was sitting on her bare desk, then held up both hands, warding me off. “Wait…wait,” she panted. “This isn’t what I wanted.”
My body was hard, ready, and now it was starting to ache. Stopping wasn’t something I wanted to be doing. “What did you want then?” I said through clenched teeth.
“I wanted time. I wanted to take things slowly.” She gave me a soft smile on the end, like she understood she was killing me.
But her words eased the ache, and a smile stretched over my lips. “Take things slowly? As in…together?”
She laughed, and her hand fell to my chest. “Yes…together.” Her expression grew more serious. “I don’t trust you right now, and that’s a serious problem. But…I think I could trust you, and because of that slim possibility, I’m willing…to try again.”
With a relieved exhale, I pulled her to her feet, and hugged her with every ounce of love I possessed. “Oh, God, thank you. Thank you. I didn’t know how the hell I was going to work with you and not go crazy.”
She giggled, and my heart soared at hearing it. “Yeah, I hadn’t figured that one out either.” Pulling back, she stared into my eyes. “But I’m serious about the going slow part. I want to know my heart is safe before I give it to you again.”
I cupped her cheek, and she closed her eyes, savoring the contact. “I’m fine with going slow, Kenzie. I’m fine with anything, so long as it’s with you.”
Lowering my lips to hers, I gave her a soft, chaste kiss. My forever is with you. I didn’t think that sentence sounded slow and easy, so I kept it myself, but my heart sang with the truth of it. She was it for me, and so long as she was open to giving me a chance, I wouldn’t stop until she knew the truth of that too.
***
CHAPTER 24
~Epilogue. Kenzie~
Things at the track were going—really well. It was a few weeks after New Jersey, and while it was typically a slow time of year for racers, both teams were bustling with activity. It thrilled me to see so much life in the Cox garages, and, even though I had a lot to do and a lot to learn, I cherished every day I got to walk into my father’s—no, my—building.
I wasn’t sure why Keith had his team practicing so often, but I had to believe it was mainly because he didn’t want to feel like we were showing him up or something. We’d already had a handful of arguments. The first disagreement was about the sign. In keeping with tradition, I’d placed Cox Racing before Benneti Motorsports on every sign around the track. Keith was furious. Said I’d had no right to design the signs without his input. He had a point, but I’d put up with so much shit from him that I didn’t care. Cox Racing had always been first on the sign, and I wasn’t about to change that.
Th
e next major argument we’d had was about practice times. Keith had wanted to reinstate the noon switchover time. I’d flat-out told him no. So long as my guys didn’t interfere with the other riders, I didn’t see any reason why our teams couldn’t mingle, both on and off the track. Assigning times to keep our teams apart only created animosity and filled the air with tension. Not exactly an environment conducive to excellence. There was no reason our two teams couldn’t get along, and I knew from experience that a little healthy competition could drive a rider like nothing else. It was in everyone’s best interest to keep the track open and friendly. Keith didn’t see it that way, but I wasn’t budging on the issue. He could complain as much as he wanted.
“Ready to go home for the day, sweetheart?”
I looked up from my desk to see Hayden leaning against the doorframe of my office, smiling at me with an expression that was full of both amusement and love. He hadn’t called me a pet name in a while, and I knew he’d been dying to. I crooked a smile at him as I set my pen down. “In a bit.”
My smile turned into a frown as I wondered if his question had been some sort of subtle invitation. We’d agreed to take things slow, and so far, we’d been taking things really slowly. Hayden hadn’t even come over to my house yet. We met up when we went out, or we went out in groups. Maybe I was taking “slow” a little too literally, but…to be completely honest, I was nervous. I didn’t want to jump right in with both feet only to have my heart stomped on again. I was dipping my toes in the water, and praying they didn’t get bitten off.
But Hayden never once complained about the sloth-like pace of our relationship. He just kept telling me: Whatever you need, I’m not going anywhere. And considering the fact that Keith had rehired Felicia, and she was a stone’s throw away from Hayden all the time, I found his patience very comforting. He wanted this. He wanted me.
Hayden smiled, like he understood the change of my facial expression. “Let me know when you’re ready, and I’ll walk you to your truck.”