Hayden frowned at Keith’s pronouncement. “Keith, she just got here. Ease up.”
Keith frowned at his star racer, then a smarmy smile spread over his lips. “Hayden…the man, they myth, the legend…tell me you’re ready for this race.”
Hayden glanced at me once it was obvious Keith was going to ignore his statement, but then he nodded. “Yeah, my times are good. I’m ready.” The knowledge that he’d moved on and was now comfortable enough racing to procure amazing times without my help still stung. And the sad part was, I didn’t even know if the same held true for me. God, it had been forever since I’d pushed myself on a bike.
Keith wrapped an arm around Hayden’s shoulders, and started leading him away to a meeting for racers and the crew…basically everyone but me. Hayden looked back at me as Keith swept him from my side, but he didn’t get out much more than, “I’ll see you later.”
On the far side of the room, Keith and Hayden were joined by more team members, including Felicia. Keith dropped his hold on Hayden and stepped back, just as Felicia stepped into his side. Hayden looked uncomfortable to be walking side by side with her, but, uncomfortable or not, he left the room that way.
Keith’s crew chief, a beefy man very appropriately named Butch, was busy watching the bikes until they were inspected. That was where the problems had started last year—some time right after the pre-race inspection. While I knew there wouldn’t be any problems like that this year, the rest of the teams weren’t as sure. In a lot of people’s opinion, the ARRC had never adequately explained what had happened.
Since I’d never been a model before in my life, I wasn’t entirely sure what I was supposed to be doing. Keith usually hired a handful of girls for these events, but, for some reason, there was only me. I supposed that was to make me feel as isolated and uncomfortable as possible. Having females to bond with and complain to would have been an outlet. Maybe I should find other models to hang with. I had a feeling Keith would have an issue with me being around other team’s or non-affiliated sponsors’ models though. No, I was on my own.
I ended up grabbing some promotional material and wandering aimlessly around the property. Then I found myself in the stands, staring at the finish line. Sitting with a handful of strangers, I watched some practice laps and then some qualifying laps. Hayden had an amazing run, qualifying in the 3rd position. Myles qualified in 2nd. Felicia was going to start in 8th, a fact that both impressed and incensed me; I’d qualified 10th my rookie year. Every single part of watching them killed me, and yet, I couldn’t turn away. Each time a rider crossed that magic line, a small piece of me died. I felt numb inside.
“Hey, there you are. Keith’s looking for you.”
I glanced over to see Hayden walking down the bleacher, heading my way. Shit. I’d been so engrossed in watching the bikes, I’d forgotten all about the job I was supposed to be doing. “Is he pissed?” I asked with a cringe.
He scrunched his face in an adorable expression that made me want to kiss him. “Define pissed…”
Great. Groaning, I shook my head. “I just wanted to sit out here for a couple minutes, to remember why I was demeaning myself.” Smiling, I inhaled a deep, exhaust-laden breath. “Despite it all, it’s good to be back here.”
“I know,” he said, his voice low as he sat beside me. “I just wish you were out there with me.”
From his tone, it was clear he was saying he wished I was out there with him instead of Felicia. A pang hit me as I wished the same thing. “You’re starting in 3rd…that’s amazing.”
His grin was wide and pleased. “Thanks. I’m still a little shocked about that. I was just a hair below Myles too. Next time I’ll get him.”
I wanted to make a comment about Felicia besting my time, but I also didn’t want to bring her up. She seemed to hover in the air around us anyway, and I knew she’d linger there until one of us took the elephant in the room by the throat, so I decided to be the one to throttle the beast. “What Felicia said last night…do you really think Izzy forgave her?”
Hayden’s expression fell as he stared at his hands. “Yeah…I’ve been stewing on that. I don’t know. I really don’t see why she would after one conversation.” He looked over at me. “Felicia’s just messing with my head. She does that. If she wants something bad enough, she’ll do just about anything to get it.”
His words filled me with icy dread. “Well, it will be easy enough to solve this mystery. We’ll just talk to Izzy when we get back.”
Hayden nodded, then reached out for my hand. When I placed my fingers in his, he squeezed them tight. “I love you, Kenzie. That hasn’t changed, and it isn’t going to change…even if Felicia was telling the truth.”
My eyes stung as painful hope filled me. “I love you too.” And Felicia isn’t the only one who will do anything to get what she wants.
Knowing I couldn’t put Keith off any more than I had, I followed Hayden back to the Benneti area. Keith berated me for a solid fifteen minutes on what he expected from me during events, then he handed me an umbrella and told me to keep the racers cool while they waited in their grid boxes. I couldn’t believe it. I used to be the one lined up in the grid box, waiting for my shot at glory, and now I was a freaking umbrella girl. It was an additional blow that I wasn’t sure my ego could take right now.
To make it as bearable as possible, I made sure I was the one holding the umbrella for Hayden. His face was a mixture of pity and pleasure as he cast not-so-discrete glances at my body. I knew he wanted me to have more than this, but he was clearly glad I was the one on display for him.
Eventually it was time for the race, and the officials made everyone leave who wasn’t riding. Having to get off the track was like having a long piece of duct tape wrapped around me then slowly pulled off. I felt the burn all the way to the innermost part of my core being. I couldn’t even really watch the race either. Keith was hoping to land a new sponsor after today’s event, so I was sent to the VIP section to “entertain” them on his behalf. I spent the entire race getting the pair of men drinks and slapping their hands away from my ass. Keith probably would scold me for not letting them touch, but there was a limit to just what I’d do for this job. And for him.
When the race was over, I was as exhausted as if I’d participated. But I was brimming with anxious energy when I finally got away from the sponsors long enough to check out the standings. A part of me wanted Hayden to finish behind where he’d finished last year, but I knew that was born from insecurity, so I hurriedly pushed it from my mind. I loved him, and I wanted him to do well, even without me. When I saw the final times, my jaw nearly dropped to my chest. Myles won the whole damn thing! And Hayden was second. And Felicia…was fourth.
Seeing her name beside the placement I’d fought tooth and nail for last year—and lost—was like having a javelin punched straight through my chest. All the breath left me, and I couldn’t inhale again. She’d beaten me. She’d also beaten the record for a female racer on this track. Handedly. She was in the record books on her very first race. She did everything I couldn’t do. My mind swam, and everything in my vision suddenly tinted red. She was doing everything I wished I could be doing…and she was doing it better than I ever had. I thought I might throw up, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the board.
My vision hazed, and I felt darkness swallowing me. I fell into a crouch, with my hands on my knees, and finally drew in the breath my body desperately needed. Jesus. Why did she have to be good? If she had been lousy, I could have handled her living my dream more easily. But her excelling at what I wanted…it was too much, too painful. I shouldn’t be here. But sadly, there was nowhere else for me to go.
Not even caring if Keith fired me, I decided to go back to the hotel instead of back to the garage area. Fate wasn’t with me though. Maxwell spotted me plodding through the crowds, and stormed his way over to me. “Hey, Cox! Keith wants you with the winners. He wants you standing beside Hayden while he’s being interviewed.”
>
Well, of course he did. He could advertise Benneti with my chest while simultaneously embarrassing me and my family name on national TV. Maybe seeing how far I’d fallen would actually get my father’s attention, and he’d call a cease-fire to the cold war. Then at least one good thing would come out of all this.
Clearly not trusting me to go there on my own, Maxwell grabbed my arm and started pulling me. Feeling even worse than before—something I hadn’t even realized was possible—I let him lead me. Last year, I’d had so much anticipation and expectation placed on my shoulders, I’d felt a crushing amount of pressure. I’d doubted myself, but had wanted to rise above and prove my worth. Now there was nothing to prove to anyone, but I still felt laced with doubt. Had I ever been good enough to compete at this level? As much as I hated to admit it, without Hookup’s interference last season, I might not have done nearly as well as I had. Maybe it was all a fluke, and maybe I couldn’t get a job simply because I wasn’t good enough and the other teams knew that. Maybe Felicia was the one who truly belonged here, and I was the outsider.
When I got to the celebration area, I instantly spotted Hayden. His helmet was off and his sweaty blond hair was sticking up every which way. A broad smile was on his face and his jade eyes were gleaming with joy. He was mesmerizingly attractive, and I no longer needed Maxwell’s help to get closer to him; in his arms was the only place I wanted to be.
On my way to my boyfriend, I caught a glimpse of Myles. He was practically glowing as he shook up a celebratory bottle of champagne. The exploding liquid spewed out of the bottle, covering Myles in suds while he laughed; I’d never seen him happier. My heart felt lighter watching his joy—he deserved it, after his nightmare year last year. I couldn’t have been prouder of him.
Hayden was looking right at me when I shifted my eyes back to him. The expression on his face faltered, and I saw some of the light in his eyes die. He felt sorry for me. I was ruining his moment just by being here. Not wanting him to feel anything but elated right now, I threw on a smile. This is okay. You did amazing, enjoy it.
Holding my head high, feigning confidence I didn’t truly feel, I strutted up to him and tossed my arms around his neck. His arms wrapped around my waist, and I heard him laugh in my ear as he picked me up. “Second place! I did it, Kenzie!” Pulling back, his grin grew. “We did it.”
His lips lowered to mine, and bliss overwhelmed me; it was almost as sweet as competing. From all around us, I heard chaos, noise, and celebration. It was intoxicating, but not nearly as euphoric as Hayden’s embrace. There were reporters nearby asking Hayden to answer some questions, and he reluctantly pulled away from me. “Stay close?” he asked.
Indicating my outfit, I said, “Have to. Keith wants me as your window dressing.” Hayden’s smile started shifting into a frown, and I raised my finger to stop him. “Don’t. This is your moment, and for once, I’m glad I have this job, because otherwise I might have missed it.”
One side of his lip curled up into a crooked smile, making my heart beat faster and harder, then he turned that charming grin toward the camera; the red record light instantly turned on, capturing it. Hayden was going to ignite the racing world with a smile like that, and I knew that any female fan who had somehow missed him his rookie year, was not going to be able to miss him this year.
As Hayden began talking about his epic finish, I moved around to stand beside him. Throwing on a smile, I hoped no one recognized me. If all people saw was a random Benneti model, I might get through this relatively unscathed.
It was nerve-racking standing there, but after a few minutes with no outburst of recognition from the crowd, I started to relax. Then I saw someone who hadn’t placed in the top three, and who didn’t need to be a part of the post-race interviews: Felicia. Helmet off, long hair wild and free, she was swaying her way through the reporters, apparently on a path to Hayden. The smile on her face was enormous, and the feeling in my gut intensified, turning to concrete. I could easily imagine the after-race euphoria that was coursing through her veins right now—I’d been there myself before. Seeing the joy on her face and knowing I would never again feel that way…it killed me.
Hayden’s smile tightened when he noticed her, but it didn’t completely fade. While I watched in horror, Felicia wrapped her arms around his neck, then leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Congratulations, Haydey!”
The cameras caught the entire nauseating event, and the rock in my stomach started to boil, churn, and liquefy into white-hot molten lava. She had no right to put her lips on him—again—congratulations or not. And Haydey? What the hell was that about?
Hayden jerked away from her touch, but the reporters instantly latched onto the effervescent woman. “Felicia, please stay. We’d love to ask you a few questions.”
In a nonchalant way that made it look like Hayden wasn’t rejecting her, Felicia deftly removed her arms and beamed at the reporters. “I would be honored,” she purred.
“Well, first off, we must congratulate you on your record-breaking finish. We haven’t seen a ride like that in…well, we’ve never seen a ride quite like that,” the reporter said with a smirk.
Really? Never? My eyes narrowed with hatred at the reporter who’d spoken, and that was when I recognized him. It was the same asshole who’d aired that fateful interview I’d given last year, when I’d inadvertently slammed my ex-teammate, Jimmy Holden.
Felicia flashed a glance over her shoulder at me, and the heat in my eyes grew even hotter. I would have given anything to have superpowers at that moment. She would have been nothing but a pile of goo beside Hayden. “Thank you,” she answered the reporter, her voice both light and luxurious. “It’s a remarkable beginning to what I hope is a remarkable year…for both of us.”
She grabbed Hayden’s arm and squeezed, and hell if they didn’t look like some picture-perfect couple from some goddamn romantic comedy. If she didn’t back off right now, I was going to give the cameras a show they’d never forget.
The reporters beamed at Hayden and Felicia together, and I could already see them spinning a story about the two of them, and that was probably exactly what Keith wanted; a born-on-the-track romance was gossip gold. “You two were both brought into the ARRC by Keith Benneti. How has it been racing together?”
That made me want to scoff. They’d competed together once. Were they supposed to have developed a career-worthy bond in that short amount of time? Felicia gazed at Hayden like he was the beginning and end of her day. Hayden pointedly removed her arm from around his. He opened his mouth to say something, but Felicia beat him to it. “It’s been amazing. We’re teammates first, competitors second. We’re here to help and encourage each other. I couldn’t imagine a better partner than Hayden.”
Hayden’s eyes blazed as he looked at her, and I saw something in the gaze that iced my stomach. It wasn’t that he was upset, that was understandable—I was furious too. No, it was the level of anger that I saw in his eyes that concerned me. There was passion in the glimmering jade depths. A negative passion, true, but passion nonetheless.
“I wouldn’t be where I am today without my team,” Hayden said, his jaw tight. That one simple sentence was oozing with multiple meanings. Hayden was being as politically correct as he could be for the cameras, but by his tone, I knew he wasn’t including Felicia when he said team. Regardless of her allegiances, she was on the outside looking in with him.
His double words were lost on the reporter though. With a knowing smile, he said, “I’m sure that’s true. Congratulations again on your second place finish, Hayden, and Felicia…it was wonderful talking to you. We wish you both the best of luck at Road America next month.”
The light on the camera died and the group left in search of new targets to talk to. A twinge of bitterness hit me as I watched them walk away. They hadn’t even noticed I was there; I’d wanted to go unnoticed, but what I’d become was invisible.
Hayden stepped away from Felicia. “What are you doing here?” he
asked, the vein in his neck pulsing.
Untroubled by Hayden’s mood, Felicia calmly crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m doing exactly what I told them I was doing…supporting my teammate.” The way she said teammate was almost intimate.
Extending his hand, Hayden reached out for me. After I grabbed his fingers, Hayden pulled me into his side. “I have all the support I need right here,” he said, squeezing me tight.
He turned me to start walking away, and Felicia called out his name. I wanted to keep going but Hayden stopped. Inhaling a deep breath, he turned his head in her direction. A look crossed over Felicia’s face that was equal parts relief, equal parts pain. “I know what Hookup did around here last year, and I know you feel responsible…but it wasn’t your fault.”
Surprise washed over Hayden’s face, then he quickly looked around to see if anyone had heard her. When it was clear no one had, Hayden returned his eyes to hers. He opened his mouth, then shut it and clenched his jaw. He was silent a few more seconds, then muttered, “Thanks,” and started walking away. A small smile graced Felicia’s lips as she watched us leave.
“Fucking Izzy,” Hayden growled as he stomped off. The farther away we walked, the tighter his hand clenched mine.
“Hey,” I said, placing my other hand over the pair of ours. “Calm down.”
Stopping in his tracks, he rounded on me. “Izzy had no right to tell her everything that’s been going on with me! She shouldn’t have said two fucking words to her!”
Alarmed at his anger, I gently placed my palm on his cheek. “He’s her brother. Izzy was sharing her own story.”
Hayden sighed, “I know…but Felicia didn’t need to know. She walked away. She lost the right to care…” His voice grew heated again, and his eyes darkened to match. There was age-old hurt in his expression that I had no idea how to fix, if it even could be fixed.