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I feel heat rushing to my cheeks, not because I am but because he's leaning in and just being in close proximity to him makes my body react. This near I can see his face in more detail; the little creases at the sides of his eyes that show he smiles often, and the flash of his pupils as they pick up the color from the ever-changing disco lights. I shake my head.
“So what is it then?”
When I don’t answer he leans back in his chair and resumes watching the dancing, but with a thoughtful expression on his face.
“Everyone should dance,” Liam says, taking a long sip from a very pink looking drink. “It should be a rule.”
“A rule?”
“Yeah, you know. Things that just are…like respecting personal space, not burping after you’ve eaten…that kind of thing.”
“Those sound like basic social skills, Liam.”
“Well,” he says shrugging, “maybe they were bad examples. You wouldn’t say people shouldn’t sing if they didn’t have nice voices.”
“Yes, I would!”
“What, even in the shower?”
“The shower’s fine, but not in public.”
“Ah, so you do dance but just in the privacy of your own home?”
“I’m saying nothing.” I try to keep a straight face and when I glance at him out of the corner of my eye I can see him smiling.
“So anyway,” Liam says, swiveling around to look at me more closely. “Who told you that you can’t dance?”
“Who says someone told me?”
He narrows his eyes. “Whoever told you that is a douchebag, and everyone knows you shouldn’t listen to their shit.”
His gaze is intense and I can’t hold it because I know he’d see the truth in my eyes. That he was right. Someone had told me I was a bad dancer and I couldn’t forget it. Liam was also right that the man who had told me was a douchebag. Trouble is, when you’ve been in love with someone and they have managed to crawl inside your heart, it’s inevitable that they worm themselves into your head too.
“So it was a gorgeous wedding, wasn’t it?” I say, glancing over at where my sister is now wrapped up in her husband’s embrace, holding the hem of her dress so she doesn’t trip. Kerry looks so peaceful, and seeing her happy-ever-after should fill me with hope, but I’ve had so much of it squashed out of me.
“It was a lovely wedding,” Callum says.
“They’re two amazing people who deserve something good,” Liam adds. “We couldn’t be happier for Dean.”
“I know,” I sigh, hearing the wistfulness in my voice so clearly and cringing with embarrassment.
“So,” Liam says, loosening his tie and rolling up his sleeves. “Back to the dancing conversation. I have a plan.” There’s a twinkle in his silver eyes that makes my skin feel warm, and I can’t help noticing his strong tanned forearms and broad shoulders. He looks like he was involved in some kind of manly sport in his youth, maybe still is in his spare time. Callum does the same thing, and I smirk that they can’t seem to remain in a position where they are different for more than a couple of seconds.
“I’m not sure I like the sound of that.”
“You haven’t heard what it is yet!” Callum laughs. “Give the man a chance.”
“Well.” Liam seems to pause for dramatic effect, or maybe he’s thinking up this plan of his on the fly. “It involves alcohol. Plenty of alcohol, and a long discussion about our favorite songs. And when we’ve all settled on a suitable anthem, there’s the opportunity to stagger across the dance floor to that strange wedding DJ over there to see if he has our song of choice.”
Callum snorts. “Great plan, dude.” He leans across, and they fist-bump like they’re teenagers. Cue my eye-roll! I open my mouth to state my objections but Liam interrupts. “Wait a minute, pretty lady. I haven’t finished yet. The deal is that if the DJ has it in his collection then we absolutely have to dance to it. If he doesn’t, we’ll come back here and watch all the fun. How about that? Deal?” Liam wiggles his eyebrows up and down with a huge grin plastered on his face and I burst out laughing.
“We’re taking that laugh as an agreement to the proposition,” Callum chuckles.
“But just to make sure…” Liam sticks out his hand to shake on it, and I hesitate, wanting to do all the fun stuff with them but not the dancing. “Come on Bethany…time’s a wasting!” I hold out my hand with so much reluctance he bursts out laughing, then grabs hold of it between both of his and shakes vigorously.
“Err, you gotta shake mine too,” Callum says. I turn to find it outstretched and shake it gently as well, feeling stupid and worried but a tiny bit excited too. It’s that excitement that makes my throat burn a little, tears threatening. I like that feeling. It reminds me of a younger me.
“Right…drinks!”
Liam stands to scan the table, taking in the carnage of empty wine and beer bottles, then grabs my hand again and pulls me out of my seat. “We need the bar,” he says, tugging me across the dance-floor, narrowly missing cousin Dylan, who’s veering to one side. I turn and find Callum behind us, watching with amusement. “That man should come with a safety warning,” he says as we pass through the reception room doors into the external bar area. It’s quieter and brighter out here and I wonder what I look like after so many hours of maid of honor duties. My hair is probably a complete frizz as the air is humid, and I know my forehead’s shiny. I curse the gods for my high maintenance appearance. Tottering on my heels as Liam comes to an abrupt halt, I rest my arms on the bar and look up at him. He’s at least a foot taller than me. Ridiculous really. If I hadn’t been wearing my highest heels I might have looked like a twelve-year-old kid from behind.
“So many choices,” he says, grabbing the cocktail menu from where it’s resting in a pool of unidentifiable liquid, and shaking it off. Callum stands next to him. “Let’s see…what kind of cocktail do we think you are?” He runs his finger over the drink options as he considers them, shaking his head as he discounts the ones he deems unsuitable. “Mmm…Sex on the Beach?” Liam looks down at me from the corner of his eye. “No, I don’t think so. Too sandy.” I snort out a shocked laugh.
“Screaming Orgasm?” Callum’s raised eyebrow is so amusing but I try not to show it on my face.
“Nah, too reserved,” Liam says. I put my hands on my hips and huff but he doesn’t seem fazed, switching his attention back to the menu again. “Ah…I’ve got it!” The twins look at each other and I stand on my tiptoes, trying to see what’s being pointed at but they turn their backs to me, like kids trying to hide their school work. “You want one of these?” Liam asks Callum. He nods.
“Why not. It’s one of my favorite positions.” He raises his eyebrow and his eyes meet mine, then slowly drop lower until he’s looked me up and down. I don’t know how he does it but I feel like he just peeled away my dress and underwear with his eyes. Liam waves the barman over and I move to lean on the bar, hoping its proximity can protect me from whatever dark thoughts Callum seems to be conjuring.
Looking positively bored, the hotel employee drags himself to where we’re standing and mumbles something that I assume was ‘what would you like?’ Liam grins over at me and then says in a very loud voice, “We’d all like a Long Screw Against a Wall.”
I look at him aghast, then the barman smirks, “That’d be hard with three of you!”
“Not really,” Callum says. “One behind, one in front. You’d be surprised how easy it can be.”
The barman’s mouth drops open. He obviously wasn’t expecting that response. When he says nothing and turns to the back of the bar to begin our cocktails, Liam doubles over, attempting to laugh silently but failing abysmally.
“Oh my God,” I mouth at Callum, shaking my head in general disbelief. “I think he was close to having an aneurism.”
“What?” He shrugs his shoulders as though he doesn’t get what all the fuss is about. It’s then that I realize that he actually wasn’t joking. To be so blasé it must be something
that he’s actually done. A threesome. With his brother?
My heart thuds in my chest. During the wedding service, I’d thought that my unexpectedly naughty thoughts about them were tightly in the realms of fantasy. Well, it seems they are for me, but not the twins. It sounds as though multiple love is a regular occurrence with them, and that thought has me squeezing my legs together.
Liam slumps down on a bar stool and pulls me towards him by the wrists. “So, Bethany. We have the drinks, now we need the music.”
“It’s gonna take more than one cocktail.”
His eyes flash brightly. “One screw not enough?” he asks in a voice laced with pure, raw sex. My cheeks react like furnaces and I die a little inside at my total inability to remain cool in the presence of these gorgeous men. “Hey,” he says, seeing my obvious mortification. “I’m just kidding around.” He gently squeezes my wrists and I look down with a golf ball sized lump in my throat.
“It’s got to be a Madonna track,” he announces. “It’s Dean and Kerry’s wedding so we gotta stick to the theme. How about 'Vogue'!”
“Vogue?” I say, with all the exaggerated exasperation I can muster.
“What? She was the Goddess of the 80s.”
“She might have been but that doesn’t mean I want to Vogue at my sister’s wedding!”
“Okay, you may have a point.” Liam looks to the sky seeking inspiration, but Callum provides the next song choice. “Wham’s 'Wake Me Up Before You Go Go'?”
“Ugh. Too cheesy.”
“Billy Ocean, 'Caribbean Queen'?”
“Ooo…I like that one,” I say enthusiastically and Callum looks euphoric. “But no. Too groovy.”
“You’re a hard girl to please!” Liam says with a fake grumpy face, and I have an urge to smooth out his frown and turn it upside-down.
“How about Duran Duran, 'Rio'?” I say.
“I like it…” he says after a few seconds, voice trailing and uncertain.
“What?” I ask, suddenly feeling like my suggestion was a terrible one. I want to paper over it so he’s not displeased with me. “You suggest something else then,” I say quickly. Liam is still holding my wrists, which should feel weird but is actually strangely comforting. His thumbs rest across the vulnerable inside skin, and he’s looking down at my palms. Then his eyes flick up to mine and I realize he was feeling my pulse and he knew my heart was beating faster. He felt my embarrassment in his hands.
I pull away just as the barman turns, presenting three ridiculous looking cocktails. “Wow,” I say, as he slides mine across the bar towards me, and I take a long pull at the straw, needing the relaxing effects of more alcohol just to calm my ridiculous social nerves. “Mmm, delicious.”
Liam is quiet and I don’t like it. I turn to find the twins looking at each other. They don’t say anything, but it’s as though they communicate something silently. They both sip at their drink a few times, and Callum passes his key card so the cost of our order can be added to his room charge.
“I think,” he says, turning to me with serious eyes, “That your idea is perfect and very clever. You want to know why?”
“I do.”
“I think you chose it because you think that the DJ won’t have it.”
I feel my heart sink in my chest. He thinks I’m a coward and that I’m trying to play their game and worm out of it at the same time.
“That’s not why I chose it,” I say quietly.
The twins don’t say anything, just look at me until the need to fill the silence is overwhelming. They are big, strong men but they aren’t arrogant. There’s no real pressure here for me to explain myself, but I find that I want to. I want them to understand, even though it’s hard. There's something about them. I can’t put my finger on what it is, but in among the butterflies I permanently seem to have in my stomach when they’re near, I feel a sense of understanding.
So I tell them. “It was playing on the radio when I left my ex-boyfriend. It…it made me smile when he sings that bit about Rio dancing on the sand. I did that when I was younger when I was on holiday with Kerry. We went down to the beach with some of the locals our age and they had an old ghetto blaster. We were so drunk and happy. It was like a sign, that I was doing the right thing…walking away”.
There seems to be minutes of silent space between us, but it’s really only seconds, then Callum reaches around my shoulders and side-hugs me, tucking my head against his chest.
“Drink up,” he says. “I’ve got an idea that’ll blow this game out of the water.”
3
Dancing My Way to Happiness
The sand is slightly cold against my feet where the heat left by the afternoon sun has cooled under the moon. Liam takes hold of my hand, leading me across the wide expanse of beach until we’re further from the hotel and closer to the sea. Callum walks beside me; close enough that I can smell his cologne and feel his presence almost as physically as if he was touching me. It’s a perfect balmy evening and I’m so grateful to be away from that stupid dance floor and the pressure to blend in. Even though I’ve only known these men for a few hours, I feel calm and peaceful.
We get to a spot that’s away from the spread of the hotel and they stop, dropping my shoes to the ground. Liam pulls out his phone and starts fiddling with it.
“What are you doing?” I ask, still puzzled by their sudden change of heart and the idea they seem so confident about.
“I’m looking for something. Have some patience, woman.”
In the moonlight as they stand side by side, they look gorgeously ruffled and so tall I have to crane my neck to see the top of them. Callum watches his brother, smiling to himself, and then Liam looks up with a triumphant grin.
It’s then that I realize why.
The song starts with a ridiculous scraping sound and then moves into a frantic synthesizer intro before Simon Le Bon belts out the first lines of Rio. Liam rests the phone down in one of my shoes and takes my hand, pulling me against him. I’m so shocked that I must feel like a plank of wood in his arms, but then as he sways us slowly back and forth, I start to melt. I don’t want to be the uptight person I seem to keep morphing into. A flash of memory spins itself into my consciousness; Kerry’s hair fanning out behind her and my arms in the air as we danced our hearts out all those years ago.
I’m buried against Liam’s chest, swamped by the size of him, but I feel bigger than I have in so long. The alcohol is warm in my stomach, licking inside me to soften my hard edges. We dance for a little while before I feel another hand at my waist. With perfect synchronicity, Liam releases me into Callum’s waiting arms. Physically they are the same arms but it feels different. Liam is light and humor and Callum is something a little darker and more daring. Either way, I’m having so much fun dancing with them that I smile against Callum’s shoulder, nuzzling against his solidness. Then he grabs one of my hands and spins me out like a professional. I’m a puppet in his control, twirling with my hair coming loose and the skirt of my silk tea dress flaring like a lily’s trumpet.
He doesn’t have perfect rhythm and being so big he’s a little heavy on his feet, but he smiles like he doesn’t have a care in the world, watching me do the very thing I had imagined the day I left Brad. A cool breeze drifts across the beach, picking up loose tendrils of my hair until they whip over my face and I love it. I love it all.
Then he lets go of my hand.
There’s a moment where I think that Liam is going to step in. Then, when I realize he’s not going to, another second where I want to stop. I hear Brad’s voice in my head telling me I can’t do it, that I have two left feet and I’ll embarrass myself. Then I see Callum and Liam with their heads tipped to the sky, dancing euphorically and I want that too.
I let myself go, raising my hands up like I used to, spinning with sand between my toes, swaying my hips, and starting to sing along.
I hear their voices join mine, perfectly out of tune and it’s amazing. When the song comes to an end I look
over at them grinning at me and I burst out laughing.
“You’re something else, Bethany,” Liam says with pride in his voice.
“Yeah, baby,” Callum says in agreement, and I feel like I might burst with joy.
“You’re something else, too,” I say, instinctively taking their hands in mine and squeezing. There's a flash of something in their eyes as I look at them; a dark look of longing that I feel reflected in my heart. Before I know what’s happening Liam has tugged me into a bear hug. I can’t understand how I can feel so utterly content in the arms of a practical stranger. Then I feel Callum behind me, putting his hand on my waist and stroking my hair.
I feel the press of a kiss to the top of my head from behind, and Liam whispers into my left ear. “You remember something, Bethany. People might tell you things about yourself, but you choose to believe them. You choose to let them change how you live your life. Anyone you meet who wants to change you is not someone you should be wasting time on, okay. You’re perfect just being you. Remember that, okay.”
Tears spring to my eyes and I squeeze him tightly with one arm, and cover Callum’s hand with my other, wanting to convey how much it means to me that they’re with me at this moment because I can’t make the words come out of my mouth.
Liam tips my face to look up at his. “You decide how you want to live your life and the people you spend your time with. You choose, okay?”
“Okay.”
He lets me go and I turn to Callum, who pulls me in for a hug too. “You know, I hate to say this, but my brother’s right.”
I hear a grumbling sound from behind me and laugh, and as I do, another little piece of me seems to fall into place. I’ve missed laughing so much. The genuine bubbling laughter that comes from a place rooted in your soul.
I sense them both turning to look back towards the hotel where two of the most important people in our lives have become a unit, and I feel as though they’re going to suggest that we go back to the reception, but I don’t want to. It’s already so late, and anyway, I’m confident Kerry won’t mind. She's happiest when the people she loves are happy.