by Maya Banks
NATHAN stood outside with his dad and brothers as Donovan readied the grill. His mom had arranged the picnic table so that there were plenty of snacks and drinks, not to mention the fixings for the hamburgers.
Cold beer in the cooler. A breeze off the lake. Blue skies unmarred by a single drifting cloud.
It was all the more sweeter now than ever before. He savored every single day back in Tennessee, surrounded by his family. And now Shea.
He looked up as Swanny walked onto the deck holding a cookie sheet piled high with the burgers. Swanny handed the tray off to Donovan just as Shea and Nathan’s mom walked out behind Swanny.
Nathan held out his hand, wanting Shea close to him. She walked to him and slipped her hand in his automatically, as if she hadn’t given it any other thought. He liked that.
He wrapped his arm around her, anchoring her against his waist while his mom stood to the side and beamed. In her mind she already had them married, settled in Nathan’s finished house, and she was no doubt plotting grandchildren too.
And while that might terrify some men, Nathan didn’t mind it at all. He already knew what he wanted. He’d known from the very start. It had never been a question of him wanting Shea permanently in his life. He needed her. She was his other half, and he didn’t mean that in a cutesy soul mate kind of way. She literally was the other half of his soul. Their connection—their bond—was one that not many people shared, he didn’t care how much in love they were.
He just hoped to hell she felt the same and that, when this was all over, she’d want to stay with him. Here. Somewhere else. It didn’t matter to him. Yeah, he loved his family. Loved his life here. But he’d be happy anywhere Shea was, and if that required living elsewhere, he wouldn’t think twice about it.
They were careful not to discuss Shea’s situation in front of his parents. Instead today was a day to simply enjoy and to forget the shadow that hung over them. For a few hours, Nathan would pretend that this was his life. His life with Shea.
Marlene fussed endlessly over Swanny. She bullied him when the burgers were served and he only took one. Nathan smiled because his friend didn’t have a chance in hell. Nathan’s mom was a force of nature and she’d already decided that Swanny was going to be her next adopted chick. She even made him sit by her when they all took their places at the table.
Then Frank simply reached out and took his wife’s hand on one side and Donovan’s on the other. Donovan in turn reached for Nathan’s. Nathan slipped his hand over Shea’s at the same time Joe, on her other side, took her other hand and then reached next to him for Swanny’s hand, and Marlene completed the chain when she gripped his other hand.
In his gruff voice, Frank said a prayer, thanking God for bringing Nathan back to his family. For introducing Swanny into the Kelly fold and finally for Shea. He asked for His hand of safety to surround Shea and then he asked Him to bless the food before them.
After issuing a solemn Amen, which was echoed by everyone at the table, Frank looked up, still holding tightly to his wife’s and son’s hands.
“Never forget that family is the most important thing. No matter how far your life takes you away, your family is always here. And if you’re nothing else in this world, you’re a Kelly, and that makes you loved.”
Nathan’s throat tightened. He raised his gaze to stare at his dad. Yeah, he understood the message. Don’t push your family away. They loved you no matter what.
Frank nodded in Nathan’s direction and then released his hold on Marlene’s and Donovan’s hands.
“Let’s eat before the meat gets cold,” he said.
Shea dug in and guilt tugged at Nathan. Joe had been right. She was starving. Though how he’d known that, Nathan wasn’t sure. Or maybe he just guessed.
“They’re wonderful, Swanny,” Shea said as she licked one of her fingers. “Best burger I’ve ever had.”
Swanny smiled when the others added their praises.
“Seems to me that I could step down from the barbeque pit now that we have an expert,” Frank said.
Swanny held up his hands. “Oh no, sir. You see, a team is required for these matters. Preparation is only one part of the whole. It can be prepared masterfully, but if it’s not grilled to perfection, then preparation doesn’t matter one bit. I respectfully suggest that you continue manning the Kelly grill.”
Marlene reached over and patted Swanny’s hand. “Then you’ll just have to make sure you’re here to do the preparing.”
Shea grinned in Swanny’s direction, and Nathan caught the words she mouthed. I told you so.
Unsure of what that was all about, he began fixing Shea another burger. When he offered it to her, she looked like she was going to say no, but he plopped it onto her plate with a one-word directive. “Eat.”
She ate half of it before finally pushing the plate away with a groan. “That was so good, but I’m stuffed now.”
Swanny started to get up to collect some of the plates, but Shea got to her feet, maneuvering from the picnic table, and then leaned over to put her hand on Swanny’s arm.
“You stay out here, Swanny. I’ll clear the table. You were in the kitchen all afternoon.”
“So were you,” Swanny said in amusement.
Marlene stood and, at the same time, pushed Swanny back down, her hand firm on his shoulder. “I’ll help Shea. You stay here and visit with the boys.”
Nathan watched as Shea and his mom disappeared into the house bearing armfuls of dishes. Without a word, Donovan and Joe stood and Nathan followed right behind. Frank chuckled as he, too, rose.
“Glad to see my boys haven’t forgotten all I taught them.”
Donovan grinned. “More like I don’t want my ass in a sling.”
They began collecting dishes and clearing the table while Swanny sat and watched them in confusion. “Now wait a minute. I was forbidden to help and was ordered to maintain my station, but you guys are all helping.”
“I don’t much believe there’s such a thing as woman’s work,” Frank said. “I’ve always brought my boys up to help out whether it’s with the cooking or cleaning. Now, their mother will give orders and usually I’m not one to teach my children to disobey their mother, but there are times, and this is one of them, when you just don’t listen to her.”
Amusement flared in Swanny’s eyes. “Ah, okay. I think I get it now. I should get my ass up and help no matter what she told me.”
Frank nodded and handed him a stack of dishes. “Exactly.”
CHAPTER 32
DUSK lay over the lake like a blanket. The sky was painted in lavender shades of pink and purple, and the water reflected the incandescent glow of twilight.
Donovan had lighted citronella torches around the deck to keep the mosquitoes at bay. Everyone was sprawled in deck chairs, enjoying the evening after a day filled with food, laughter and the comfort of just being home.
Marlene eased the sliding glass doors open and slipped outside, closing them quietly behind her. “We should go, Frank. I’m sure they’re all tired.”
Nathan sat forward, wondering why his mom was practically tiptoeing outside. “Where’s Shea?”
His mom smiled as Frank stood beside her. “She’s inside asleep on the couch, so everyone needs to be quiet on the way back through.”
Nathan pushed upward and out of his seat. He went to the door and quietly opened it, stepping in, his gaze scanning the living room. As his mom had said, Shea was curled up on the couch, her head resting against the arm.
She looked incredibly small, her legs drawn up to her body. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her, as if she protected herself even in sleep.
The others came in behind him, glanced Shea’s way and smiled. His mom and dad came over to give Nathan a hug and then motioned that they were leaving.
“I’ll take her to bed so you guys don’t have to worry about waking her up,” he said to the others after his parents had left.
It was only half the truth. He wanted to
be alone with her, hold her, touch her. He wanted her with a gut-clenching need that defied explanation.
He slid his arms underneath her and lifted her from the couch. Her eyelids fluttered and then opened, revealing sleepy blue eyes.
“Sorry,” she murmured. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
He smiled and kissed her forehead as he carried her down the hall to the bedroom. He shouldered his way through the door and then eased her down on the bed so she sat up, her legs over the edge. Then he knelt beside the bed and began unlacing her tennis shoes.
“I wonder if you have any idea how much today meant to me.”
She cocked her head and sent him a curious stare.
He tossed her shoes and then leaned in close and got up on his knees so that he was between her legs and nearly at eye level with her.
“Seeing you there, surrounded by my family. It was like coming home in a whole new way. Maybe it’s why I had such a difficult time when I came home from Afghanistan. I was home but you weren’t here, so for me there was something missing. But now?”
He couldn’t even finish the thought because emotion was tugging at his throat, closing it in.
“I love you, Shea,” he whispered.
She leaned forward, framing his face with her hands, and she kissed him. Long and sweet. Warmth traveled through his body and to his heart. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her as tight against his body as he could fit her.
And he kissed her back. Hard, soft, all stages in between. He was rough and then tender.
“Make love to me, Nathan,” she whispered softly against his ear.
“I am, baby. Absolutely I am.”
She sighed and melted against him, going soft in his arms. God, he loved the way she felt.
He nibbled the sensitive skin just below her ear and then kissed his way down the curve of her neck to her shoulder. Her breathing ratcheted up and she arched into his mouth.
Her taste. Her scent. The feel of her. They all drove him wild. Made him insatiable, a man always teetering on the edge of control. In many ways she settled him, but when it came to wanting her, there was no help for the desperate, edgy need that lived inside him.
Shea kissed his neck, inhaling his smell and taste as he traced a similar path down hers. It felt as though it had been an eternity since they’d last made love when in reality it was such a short time ago.
Anxious to see him, to be able to touch him, she pushed gently at him and then rose to stand in front of him.
“I’ll undress for you if you’ll undress for me,” she murmured.
“Deal.”
Their gazes locked, never once breaking away, they began to undress, keeping that connection between them all the while. Shirts, jeans, even socks went sailing across the room until finally they stood naked before each other.
Drawn to the lean hardness of his body, she placed her palms at his sides and then smoothed them upward, trailing over the crisscross pattern of scars that marred the smoothness of his skin.
She knew it discomfited him when she acknowledged them in any way, but it was important to her that he know she accepted him and every single one of those scars. They were beautiful reminders of his endurance. They weren’t ugly. Far from it. They were a testament to his courage. To his unflagging resolve.
“You’re so beautiful,” she breathed.
He cocked one eyebrow. “And you’re nuts.”
She laughed but then sobered again. “You are, Nathan. I’m so in awe of you. You have so much courage and so much character. I can see it in your family. It’s reflected in each and every one of them. The Kellys are special, but you…You’re extra special.”
“You make it so there’s nothing I can say,” he said hoarsely.
“Good,” she said, smiling up at him. She leaned up on tiptoe to brush her mouth across his lips. “All you need to do is listen and accept. You call me your miracle, but Nathan, you’re mine as well, and you need to know that.”
He lifted his hands, pressed them to her arms and then slowly slid them upward to her shoulders. He spread his fingers and brushed his thumbs across her collarbone before going lower to graze across the tips of her breasts.
Then he cupped the mounds in each palm, lifting slightly before bending down to take one nipple in his mouth. He sucked lightly until the soft peak became a rigid point. He moved to the other, ran his tongue over the sensitive, puckered flesh before sucking it between his teeth.
“You are so fucking beautiful inside and out, Shea Peterson. I’ve never known anyone more beautiful.”
Her heart tugged at the sincerity in his voice, the raspy edge that told her how hard it was to voice his feelings aloud.
She moved in close, until their bodies pressed against each other, heated, bringing her to instant awareness.
His erection was cupped against her belly and she slid her hand between them to gently encircle it. With her other hand, she reached down to cup his sac, caressing him intimately as she stroked over his length.
“Take me hard, Nathan. Hard and fast. We could spend all night touching and kissing, but what I need tonight is you. Just you. Nothing else.”
“Ah hell, baby,” he groaned.
He swept her up into his arms, his eyes so dark that it sent a shiver down her spine. It was as if she’d unleashed the beast or at the very least given him permission to lose control.
He crawled onto the bed and put her down in the middle. He loomed over her, his features tight and strained. Even though she’d told him what she wanted, she knew he held back. He didn’t want to hurt her. Didn’t he know he couldn’t?
She reached for him, wanting, needing him so much. Only he could fix the empty ache in her heart. Only he could erase the fear that seemed such a permanent fixture in her life.
Only he could keep her safe.
“Please,” she whispered.
His palms hit the bed on either side of her. His knee nudged impatiently at her thighs and then he was over her, inside her in one breath. Deep. Hot. Hard.
Her back arched upward to meet his thrust. Her hands flew to his shoulders, her fingers digging deep as pleasure exploded through her body.
Not that endless foreplay wasn’t very nice, and Nathan certainly had talent in that area, but this instant, explosive coming together was electrifying.
It felt primal. It was primal. Claiming and taking. Possession. He covered her, thrusting, hovering protectively over her even as he demanded his due.
Oh God, she was never going to last and she wanted it to go on forever.
His eyes bore into hers, dark and fiery. His jaw tightened with each thrust and he watched her closely even as he drove deeper into her body.
She started to close her eyes, but he stopped, embedded tightly.
“Look at me.”
She refocused her gaze on him, saw the love and also the edgy need burning so bright in those velvet brown eyes.
“Look at me. Stay with me. Always.”
He slowly withdrew and then thrust powerfully back into her.
“Is this what you wanted?” he strained out. “Is this what you need?”
She wrapped her legs around him, lifting her hips to meet each and every forceful lunge. “Yes,” she whispered. “I need you, Nathan. Just you. I need this. I need your strength.”
“You have it, baby. You have it and me. Always. I swear.”
Their gazes locked, she writhed beneath him, the edgy rise already upon her. Sharp and yet delicate. Hard and yet so utterly gentle. She was lost in him. Lost in the power of his possession.
This was what she needed. To feel that she belonged to him. That she was his and that he’d never let her go. She wanted to feel owned, protected, unbelievably cherished. And he made her feel all of those things and so much more.
“Use your hand, baby,” he whispered. “I want you to go first. Touch yourself. Tell me how deep you want it.”
His words danced erotically over her ears and sent her that mu
ch closer to the edge. She moved her hand down her belly, tight between them, and lower until her fingers slipped down to where they were joined.
For a moment, she caressed the part of him that still remained outside her opening and then she moved back up, through damp, sensitive folds, to her clit.
“That’s it. Damn,” he groaned. “You just tightened all around me.”
“Harder,” she gasped out. “Please don’t stop, Nathan. I’m so close.”
He pulled back and plunged again. Harder and deeper. Then again, with so much power that it drove her farther into the mattress.
She couldn’t catch up. Couldn’t breathe. So she held it, straining higher and higher. He pushed into her, so tight. She was so full. He overpowered her senses. All she could process was him. Inside her body. Owning her. Staking his claim. Giving her the most unimaginable pleasure she’d ever experienced.
He lowered his head to ravage her mouth. Hot, possessive kisses. Their tongues clashed and rolled over each other. He tasted her from the inside out and then ran his mouth down her face to her neck.
He sank his teeth into the ultrasensitive area over her pulse point and, at the same time, swiped his tongue erotically over the area where he nipped.
He seemed determined to give her everything she’d asked for and so much more. More than she could even take.
She moaned softly and then louder as her orgasm came roaring over her like a runaway train. He drove hard and held himself there.
“Oh God, Nathan. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop,” she begged.
She forgot all about his order for her to look at him. She closed her eyes and cried out as he pushed deeper still. She was unraveling at a speed that left her breathless.
And then she hit her peak in one shattering, mind-numbing explosion.
He was pushing into her faster, harder. His hips slapped the backs of her thighs and then her legs fell away as he forced them wider apart.
He shifted so his weight was squarely over her and then he leaned his head down until his forehead rested against hers.
“I love you,” he whispered.