by Maya Banks
Ah hell, he didn’t want to hurt her but he didn’t know how much more he could take. He was dangerously close to his climax and he hadn’t even gotten inside her yet. He felt clumsy and inept as a lover, and yet when he lifted his gaze, he found her looking at him as though he were the most desirable man in the world.
To see himself the way she saw him? He couldn’t even wrap his brain around why she looked at him with her heart in her eyes, like he was…special. Like he belonged to her and she’d take on anyone who said differently.
“You won’t hurt me, Nathan. You’d never hurt me.”
He closed his eyes and slid deep into her. She gasped and quivered around him. For a moment he thought he had indeed hurt her, but when he opened his eyes, all he saw was pleasure and joy reflected in her beautiful eyes.
She grasped the sides of his face, her fingers lacing around to his nape. She rubbed her thumbs over his cheekbones and then pulled him down. Her lips fused with his. Hot and sweet.
He withdrew and then surged forward again, a groan escaping as her satiny heat closed around him, gripping him like a fist. She was unbelievably tight. So tight he couldn’t imagine how she could accommodate him without it hurting.
Again he tried to control the raging instinct to power into her, to dominate, claim. His breath tore raggedly from his chest, burning as he clenched his jaw.
“Nathan.”
His name, so sweetly said. She smiled up at him and caressed his face with gentle hands. He kissed her palm and closed his eyes as she clenched around his cock. Warm, wet and so damn exquisite that his eyes rolled back in his head.
She lifted her hips, taking the choice from him. Her movement sent him deeper, and she let out a moan that sent shivers of delight down his spine.
“Please, Nathan. I need you.”
He could no more deny her than he could deny the overwhelming urge to claim her. He fastened his hands over her hips and began to thrust. With each push into her body, the more he lost of himself. The more he became hers.
She went slick around him, liquid silk. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as she lifted her hips to meet his every thrust. His fingers slid around to cup her buttocks and he helped her, lifting as he pushed and rode harder, deeper.
“Tell me you’re close. Can’t last much longer,” he gasped.
Instead of answering him, she kissed him. Hot and breathless, her tongue licking over his. He was lost. So very lost.
He was spilling into her before he could even think to make sure she was with him. Mindlessly he thrust, each glide releasing more of himself into her. And through it all she touched him, caressed him, made soft sounds of acceptance and pleasure.
He slipped his fingers between them once more and found her heat. He thrust again as he stroked the taut nub of flesh. He wouldn’t leave her until she’d gained as much pleasure as he had.
She cried out as he thrust again. And then again, all the while gently stroking her clitoris. She went hot and liquid around him in a rush. She strained upward, every muscle in her body rigid.
“That’s it, baby. Come for me.”
She writhed uncontrollably, her behind lifting from the mattress. She cried out again and then touched his hand to stop his gentle manipulation. He withdrew and then lowered his body to hers and rolled to the side so he could hold her close.
She lay against him, naked, her limbs twined with his. Her chest rose and fell rapidly and her breath huffed out over his neck. And he thought that, in this moment, he’d never experienced something so perfect. So fucking beautiful that it made his teeth ache.
This wasn’t sex. This was something so deeply emotional that he couldn’t even find words to describe it. He’d missed her with every cell and now she was finally here. A part of him. Linked so intimately with him that nothing could come between them.
He stroked her back, enjoying the feel of her skin against his palms. Then he kissed and nuzzled her neck, just wanting to inhale her sweetness all over again.
“Did I hurt you?” God, don’t let him have hurt her. He never should have pushed her into this, but he’d been helpless to stop it.
She kissed his shoulder and snuggled deeper into his embrace. “You were perfect, Nathan. So very perfect.”
CHAPTER 18
PAIN splintered through Nathan, and he came awake with a gasp. For a moment he thought he was having another dream, reliving his captivity. But he felt it again, a thin blunt object smacking his flesh.
He made a grab for his arm and breathed away the sensation and in the process bumped into Shea’s sleeping form. She lay beside him, curled into a protective ball, the sheets in a tangle at her feet.
She flinched and made a low sound of distress and it was then he realized it was she who was dreaming. She who was reliving her captivity, and he was still so closely linked to her that he felt everything she was experiencing.
His gut tightened in rage and his throat knotted at what she’d endured. His hands shook as he turned and pulled her into his arms.
“Shea. Baby, wake up.”
When he got no response, he called to her with his mind.
Shea. I’ve got you. No one can hurt you now. Wake up and look at me. Feel me. I’m right here. I have you.
She came instantly awake. No gradual climb to consciousness. Her eyes flew open and her breath exploded from her lips in harsh puffs.
“Grace,” she croaked.
Nathan frowned. “Grace?”
She scrambled to sit up in bed. Her hands shook. Her entire body shook. She raised her hands to wipe away her hair but then buried her face against her palms and rocked back and forth.
Distress radiated from her like a beacon. Her shoulders started to twitch and he realized with alarm that she was crying.
Her mind was a chaotic mess. He frowned at the images of her captors and then he saw a beautiful, dark-haired woman. Taller than Shea. Toned and tanned. Just as quickly as he caught the image, his mind went completely blank. Shea had slammed the link shut and closed herself off from him.
It stunned him how empty he suddenly felt. A surge of hurt followed by anger built before he could call it back. It felt like a betrayal. Like she didn’t trust him.
The thoughts were irrational. But he couldn’t turn them off no matter how much he thought she was justified in her caution.
He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do now. She shut him out so maybe she didn’t want him prying. So he sat there, feeling like an idiot as she wept into her hands.
Then the decision was made for him. She turned and flung herself into his arms, holding him so tight that for a moment he couldn’t breathe.
“I’m sorry,” she choked out. “I didn’t do it to hurt you.”
He eased his arms around her and stroked her back, trying to comfort her.
“What the hell is going on?” he asked softly.
“I just didn’t want you to see. It was so overwhelming and I couldn’t shut it off, so I shut you off instead.”
His hold tightened around her. “That’s bullshit.” He took another breath and tried a more tactful, sensitive approach. “You and I are quite a pair, aren’t we, Shea?”
She pushed up to face him, her eyes drenched with sadness and shame. “What do you mean?”
He touched her cheek, his heart growing soft at the sight of her tears. “We both try to hide from the other and yet we have a more intimate connection than any two other people on the planet. You can’t hide this from me any more than I can hide my scars from you. Why would you demand to see my shame and then hide yours from me?”
She sighed and then her lips turned up into a rueful half smile. “I knew it would upset you and I didn’t want to be the cause of that.”
He leaned forward and kissed her nose. “How about you let me decide what I want to be upset about? Damn right it upsets me. The idea of you in those bastards’ hands makes me crazy. But it doesn’t mean you’re going to hide it from me to protect my fragile little psyche. Anyt
hing that involves you, I want to know about. Are we clear on that?”
She smiled. “Crystal clear.”
“Good. Now come here.”
He pulled her against him and kissed her hungrily. They’d just made love a few hours earlier and yet he still ached. His need for her defied logic. He couldn’t explain it any more than he could fight it.
Already he was as hard as a rock, his dick straining upward, tenting the sheet that covered his thighs. He pushed impatiently at the covers, not wanting any barrier between them.
He settled her astride his thighs so that his erection rested against the blond curls that covered her tiny mound. She looked so damn sexy sitting atop him, her blond hair disheveled and falling over her shoulders. Her eyes were sweet and sleepy looking, but when he cupped her breasts, her pupils flared and her eyes went more black than blue.
He loved the feel of her plump breasts against his fingers. Small against his much larger hands. He rubbed his thumbs over her nipples, fascinated by the hardening nubs.
Unable to resist, he stroked over her shoulders, down her back then around the curve of her waist and then over her hips and underneath to her buttocks. He couldn’t get enough of simply touching her.
She was the softest, most beautiful thing he’d ever touched. There was a reverence to his caresses. He didn’t feel worthy to touch her but he wanted it more than anything.
She let out a sweet sigh as his hands coaxed back up her body to her breasts. She swayed atop him, her eyes closing as a dreamy smile glowed on her lips.
“Like that?” he murmured.
“Oh yes. I love to be touched.”
“And I love touching you. I wonder if you even realize how much I’ve dreamed about this. Having you right here in front of me. Me holding you. Tasting you. So deep inside you that you realize we won’t be apart again.”
Chill bumps raced across her chest and shoulders. Her fingers tightened on his arms and her breathing sped up. Her pulse jumped in her neck, and as he pulled her closer, he could feel the rapid fire of her heartbeat against his chest.
“Inside you,” he whispered. “Deep. Hard. Over and over.”
Her breathing became shallower and her eyes glazed. She licked her lips, which were already swollen from being ravaged by his. The image of her mouth around his cock exploded into his mind. Sweat broke out on his forehead, and he had to work to keep from ejaculating all over her belly.
Smooth. Real damn smooth.
She smiled then. A wicked little smile that should have been a warning but he was too dumbstruck over having her naked and in his arms, her luscious breasts pressed tightly to his chest.
Carefully she pushed away, leaning down to kiss a scar across his chest. She swiped her tongue over the puckered flesh, and he groaned both in protest and sheer pleasure. She wasn’t the only one who liked to be touched. He could sit here for hours if only she’d put her hands on him and caress him, pet him, touch him. Just touch him.
She placed both palms at his shoulders and then glided downward, stroking and petting, not missing an inch of his flesh as she wandered down his body.
When she got to his groin, his cock got even harder, and he hadn’t thought it was possible. He was about to split apart at the seams. Moisture beaded at the tip of his erection, and if he so much as moved, he was going to come.
And then she stuck her tongue to the base and licked all the way from bottom to top.
He bolted upward, his ass coming off the bed and tightening so hard that his muscles screamed in protest.
“Oh shit. Shit. Shea, baby, stop. Just for a minute. Oh God, I’m going to come.”
She smiled and carefully wrapped her fingers around his cock before licking just the tip. His fluid gleamed on her tongue and then she closed her lips over the head and carefully lowered, taking him entirely into her mouth.
Ah hell, she’d been in his mind. Of course that was it. She saw what he’d fantasized about. Guilt crowded in. She was only giving him what she knew he wanted. He felt selfish and about two inches tall.
Stop thinking so much, Nathan. Just relax and enjoy it. I love pleasing you. I love that you want me so much.
So beautiful. So damn beautiful and sweet. Your mouth, Shea. My God, your mouth. I’ve never felt anything so good.
She smiled around his erection and continued her sensual assault on his senses. He threw back his head as his orgasm roared through him like a freight train.
He raised his hips, wanting deeper, desperate for her silken heat. Harder and deeper. He slid over her tongue, butting against the softness of her throat. And she took him all, never complaining, never pulling back.
Desperation clutched at him. Pleasure, razor sharp, almost pain. Faster. Harder.
His mind went completely and utterly blank. And then it was filled with her. Only her. Her face. Her smile. Her angel’s voice. Her scent. She rushed through him like she’d been injected into his veins. It was heady. He was drunk. Drunk on her.
He gasped aloud when the first jet of semen hit the back of her throat. He worried that he’d appalled her, that he’d gone too far. He should have had more restraint. He never should have taken it this far or allowed it to happen.
He felt the warm squeeze of her mouth around him, felt her drink of him and swallow as she continued to suck him deep.
He had no defense against her. None. He didn’t want any. He was hers. Absolutely hers.
She laid her head against his thigh and let him slide from her mouth. Her hair spread out over his lap and her sleepy blue eyes were trained on him, watching him as he gathered his shattered senses about him.
He was gut shot.
She trailed one fingertip over his lessening erection, captured a drop of semen and then tucked her finger into her mouth, licking the tip.
His body roared to life. His cock jumped and hardened. Lust powered through his veins, shocking him with its ferocity. How the hell could he want her again so quickly?
Need grabbed him by the balls and had a choke hold on his dick. He hauled her up and then rolled her beneath him, his body already straining toward her, wanting to bury himself inside her sweetness.
Dear God, what she did to him. He felt like some kind of superhuman. Not bound by normal limits. All he knew was that he had to have her. Had to brand her, possess her, make her his.
He slid into her welcoming body, felt her gasp of pleasure and of acceptance. He stared down into her eyes, willing her to see what he saw, that she was his. That no one would ever take her away from him again.
This time would be for her. He wanted to give her back the pleasure she’d so selflessly given to him.
Touch me, Nathan. Let me feel you. Love you touching me.
The words floated erotically through his mind. Oh yes, he’d give her what she wanted.
He began a gentle exploration of every inch of her body. No part of her was left untouched as he caressed, petted, kissed and licked his way up and down her skin.
He eased out of her when he went lower, and then when he worked his way back up, he thrust into her again, keeping himself a part of her as much as he could while he lavished affection on her.
The sensual haze in her mind was seductive and alluring, like the most potent aphrodisiac. He could sense what he did to her and it made him feel ten feet tall. This gorgeous, delicate woman enjoyed his touch. Craved his touch. Beauty and the beast. It was so appropriate.
He was scarred and ugly. She was perfect and beautiful. And yet she looked at him with wonder. Thought of him as her hero. Wanted him to love her. And he did. God, he did.
His body arched over hers, covering her protectively even as he pumped in and out of her body. He tried to hold back his strength, afraid of hurting her, but she was having none of that.
She urged him on, whispering in his mind to take her, own her. Until he stroked in and out, mindlessly, pleasure consuming him and her.
He felt her orgasm as soon as it crept over her. Her entire body tightened
around him, gripping him and holding him as he thrust deeper.
Only when she relaxed and melted into his arms, her breathing hard and ragged, did he allow himself to fall over the edge once more.
She held him, murmuring against his ear, stroking his back and just hugging him close as he emptied himself deep inside her body. And afterward, she held him there, refusing to let him move, though he feared he was too heavy for her.
But she held him tight, so he settled down over her, molding to her flesh and pressing her into the mattress. She let out a contented sigh and nuzzled her face against his chest.
Finally he moved to the side, pulling out of her warm clasp. He arranged her just so because he couldn’t bear to be separated from her yet. Then he kissed the top of her head and squeezed her tight.
Shea lay in Nathan’s arms and let calm blanket her. She felt protected. She felt safe.
It hadn’t even crossed her mind that the whole situation was bizarre. That she’d for all practical purposes just met this man a few hours before and she’d had sex with him the same day.
She’d known him so much longer. She’d lived in his mind. He’d lived in hers. They’d experienced more together than any other couple ever would.
She turned into the crook of his neck and kissed the pulse point. He responded by pulling her tighter into his arms and caressing her bottom with one large hand.
She sighed. She loved his touch. Loved how he touched her and the way he looked at her.
“I didn’t use anything. Either time. I’m sorry, Shea. It was stupid and irresponsible of me.”
There was clear aggravation in his voice. And regret.
She smiled against his chest. “I don’t care.”
“But I should have protected you better. Are you on anything? Is the timing right for you to get pregnant? I don’t have any diseases, I swear. I haven’t had sex in a damn long time.”
She squeezed him and kissed his collarbone. “I know. We’re fine, Nathan. I’m on birth control and I’m safe too.”