"But, my lady," the youngest man said uneasily, casting a glance toward Rolfe. "Sir Guibert will kill us if—if anything happens to you."
"Tell him only that you escorted me home to Crewel." The man did not move. "I will not have Guibert Fitzalan riding on Crewel to rescue me, do you understand? I will flay you myself if he learns what has happened here. Now go." The man still did not move. Leonie sighed. "He is my husband. Imustgo with him. Do not make it more difficult, I beg you."
She signaled to him to help her mount, and he did so, reluctantly. She then rode out of the clearing without waiting for anyone. She rode in the direction of Crewel Keep. It did not take Rolfe's men long to catch up with her.
She did not turn around once to see whether Rolfe was behind her.
Chapter 43
THE next week passed in a torrent of emotions, and she spiraled between deep depression and impotent fury. Rolfe indeed followed her back to Crewel and dragged her up to their room. She expected the worst, but what he did was to lock her in. Later she learned he had drunk himself into oblivion that night.
He released her the next day, but nothing had changed. He wouldn't listen when she tried to explain about meeting Alain. He wouldn't listen when she said there had been no question of her leaving with Alain. He wouldn't listen. He would not speak to her. The servants avoided her for fear of his anger.
The worst was that Wilda and Mary were sent away, leaving her bereft. There was no one at all for her to talk to.
If he would leave, the tension might become bearable, she told herself.
But he did not return to the siege at Warling. He did not even leave the keep to hunt. He stayed near Leonie, yet away from her, as if he did not trust himself to be with her, yet could not leave her alone.
She knew exactly what he thought. He expected her to flee, and he was there to make certain she didn't. Finding Alain's two notes together and crumpled on the floor the day Rolfe locked her in the room told her how he had found her and what conclusions he had drawn. She knew how damning that scene in the clearing had been, but there was no way to put things right when he wouldn't listen to her.
He would not even sleep with her in their bed, but was sleeping on a pallet in the antechamber, like a guard outside her door.
She knew she could not go on that way much longer. Frustrated and angry, Leonie threw open the door that separated her from her husband.
His eyes were open. He was staring at the ceiling. He was ignoring her and it sent her over the edge. She looked around the antechamber for something to throw at him.
"Do not, Leonie." His voice was low and menacing.
"Why not?" she demanded furiously. "Then you could beat me and we would have done with this!"
"Beat you?" Rolfe sat up on his pallet. "I killed a man for doing just that and you dare to think I—"
"What?"
"Calveley is dead by my hand," he told her tonelessly. "I could not let him live after what he did to you."
Leonie was stunned. "How did you know? I never said—"
"The last week I was gone from here I spent with your father, rendering him sober enough to accept my challenge." As her eyes reflected panic, he said irritably, "I did not kill your father, woman. He was not the villain I believed he was. He had his wife turn him into a drunk. He was weak, and hardly guiltless, but he did not order you beaten, Leonie. He did not know anything, did not even know you were at Pershwick all these years," he finished a bit more gently.
"How . . . could he not know?" she whispered, nearly in shock, and Rolfe explained all of it.
"Right now he is overcome with remorse for failing you so terribly," he finished.
She was sickened. Why had she not once tried to force her way in to see him? She might have saved herself and her father so much misery.
She might have learned the truth sooner.
"I shall go to him now!"
"No!"
"No?" she cried. "How can you sayno?"
"Give the man a chance to regain his self-respect, Leonie," Rolfe said adamantly. "He will come toyouwhen he is ready. You may be certain he will."
She glared at him, near tears. "Do not wrap your refusal in noble sentiments! You say no to keep me imprisoned here. Why deny it?"
"Damn me!" Rolfe exploded. He reached her in two strides, taking no notice of his undressed state. "I returned here to tell you all I learned about your father, and found you run off with your lover!"
"He was never my lover!"
"Liar!" His hands bit into her shoulders. "I would not be surprised if you left his note out on purpose so that I could be drawn into his trap.
Youdidknow he had men waiting to attack me?"
"I know it now, but I did not know it then. How could I? I had not seen him before that day, I swear it."
He was so furious, he shook her. "There were two notes!"
"There were three!" she shouted back. "But I paid no attention to the first two. I wanted only to see what Alain was doing here. He was so insistent about seeing me. And why would I leave notes for you to read when you told me you could not read? If anyone is a liar, you are!"
Rolfe sidestepped that issue entirely. "What did he tell you, Leonie?"
he asked her darkly.
She wasn't fooled by the softer tone. "That he wanted to help me, that he thought I was suffering living with you." She lowered her voice too.
"But I don't think that is really why he drew me out there. I think those men who attacked you were there to assist him with me if I did not agree to go away with him. I think he meant to hold me for ransom."
She lowered her eyes. That was a mistake, for suddenly she was very much aware of his nudity. Rolfe became aware of it too. He didn't know whether he ought to believe her, but he desperately wanted to.
When he gathered her into his arms, she was shocked. How could anyone be so changeable? She tried to pull away.
"Rolfe, no!"
He crushed her to him. "Unfair, Leonie. You use my name to weaken me."
"How can you—"
"How can I not? God help me, I want you. I cannot fight it and I will not try anymore."
Rolfe didn't know it, but those words worked magic on her, making her suddenly realize that he did love her—he was just too stubborn to admit it.
In truth, all Leonie had ever wanted from him was his love. Having that, she would give him everything, her heart, her life, her children.
She gave him passion to match his own, and Rolfe was nearly undone by her response. He picked her up and carried her to the large bed she had not been able to sleep in alone. There he made love to her with his hands, his lips, all of his body, showing her with his desire what was in his heart.
And Leonie loved him in return, with no thought for any time but the moment. He was hers, and she let her joy guide her, exalting in having all of him.
Chapter 44
WHEN Leonie awoke the next morning, Rolfe was gone from their room. But as that was his habit, she gave it little thought. So she was shocked later to learn he had returned to his army and was not expected back soon. How could he leave without even speaking to her? Was everything settled between them? She wasn't sure. She even began to wonder if she had imagined all those wonderful feelings of the night before. Had she only heard in his words what she wanted to hear?
She retired to her room and did not set foot from it for two days. She might have died for all the attention she stirred in the household. Food was left at her door, but that was all. What did it matter to these people that she still felt a stranger here? She felt like an intruder and it was destroying her! She couldn't live this way, simply could not.
When she did venture forth to ask a servant to order a bath, she discovered that Amelia was still in residence, and still acting the lady of the keep. It was the last blow. She was leaving. Just let Rolfe try and bring her back.
She packed, taking only one trunk so as not to be obvious, and ordered it taken below. That was as far as she got.
Sir Evarard had orders to supply her with a fifteen-man escort if she left the keep. The men were not to leave her side until she returned. Evarard was loath to let so many men leave Crewel for anything but an emergency. The garrison was depleted, he informed her, all spare men having gone with Rolfe's army.
He was adamant in his refusal to let her go.
When Leonie found Amelia, she came right to the point. "I am leaving.
I shall not be back, no matter the inducement. Does this suit you, Amelia?"
The older woman was too delighted to pretend otherwise. "It suits me very well."
"So I thought. Then will you help me? Sir Evarard will not release the number of men Rolfe insists I have for escort. He seems kindly disposed toward you. Can you persuade him to change his mind? Tell him I will be gone no more than a few hours."
"But if the escort are needed here—"
"They will return here once I am safe inside Pershwick," Leonie assured her.
"Pershwick? But Rolfe will find you there. Can you not leave England instead?"
Leonie sighed disgustedly. "It is not my intention to hide, Amelia. It doesn't matter if Rolfe finds me, for Pershwick will be closed to him."
"Oh." Amelia smiled. This was even better than she had hoped for. For Rolfe's wife to pit her men against him would sever their relationship for good. He would not want her back after such an action. "You may leave Evarard to me," she said graciously.
Evarard allowed Leonie to leave Crewel, however much his sour countenance spoke of his reluctance.
The usually short ride to Pershwick took longer because of the baggage wain carrying Leonie's trunk. And when she arrived it was to find Sir Guibert absent for the day. That was just as well, for he would disapprove, she knew that, and might even try to prevent her. There would be little he could do when he returned to find the deed done and Leonie firmly ensconced in Pershwick.
She herself gave the orders to secure the keep. Her escort might have become suspicious over all the activity, but Leonie kept herself from them and there was nothing they could do when those suspicions were borne out. The major preparations finished, she had them removed from the keep, explaining only that she would not be returning to Crewel, and ordering them to return without her.
Aunt Beatrix was sympathetic. Wilda, on the other hand, showed surprising objections. She was disgusted that Leonie would let Amelia have Rolfe without a fight. Her feelings where Amelia was concerned were quite strong, and she revealed that it was Amelia who had ordered her and Mary whisked out of Crewel. If Amelia could use foul means to get whatever she wanted, why couldn't Leonie show some of her fighting spirit? Leonie simply kept Wilda busy so that she would not have to listen to her.
She could not do the same with Sir Guibert. When he arrived that evening and was told her plans he was furious. He strode into the hall to find her, glowering as he approached.
"Have you taken leave of your senses?" he demanded without even a nod of greeting. "You would make war against your own husband? I cannot—"
"Not war," Leonie interrupted. "I just refuse to abide with him any longer."
"You cannot do that!" Guibert sputtered. "God's mercy, Leonie, he is your lord now. You are bound to him in every way!"
Truth or not, the saying of it grated on her. She would not give in. But she needed Guibert's support, so she did something she had never done before. She burst into tears, gauging the effect it had on the man who had been like a father to her. In between heartrending sobs, she confessed everything to Guibert, sparing nothing, not even that she was carrying her husband's child—his second child.
But the revelations she made about Amelia were not as shocking to him as she had hoped they would be, for she had forgotten that her situation, though painful, was not unique.
"You are not the first woman who has been asked to raise her husband's bastards, Leonie," Guibert scolded gently. In truth, he was shocked at Rolfe's behavior, and he hurt for Leonie, but coddling would do her no good now.
"If it were only that, I could live with it," she said. "But my husband will not send this child's mother away. I have asked him and he refuses.
He flaunts her in my home. He gives her responsibilities that are mine by right. I feel like a second wife!"
"You exaggerate, Leonie."
"I do not! I have told you plainly how it has been. I tried to live with it, Guibert. If—if my feelings were not entangled, perhaps I could. But—"
"You love him?"
"Yes," she said, sobbing in earnest now. "I fought against loving him, I did. I knew it would cause me only pain. And he expects me to continue sharing him with that woman. I cannot do it anymore. It is killing me, Guibert."
Guibert sighed. "I do not see what you hope to accomplish by coming here, Leonie. The man has besieged stronger keeps than this and won them."
"He would not do so here!" Leonie told him. "I am his wife."
Guibert shook his head at her. "You think that will stop him? That is the very reason he will not turn away from our closed gate."
"No, Guibert," she said confidently. "Rolfe has two keeps to secure yet.
He will not take his army away from victory there to come here. He will come himself, yes, but I will tell him plainly how I feel—if I have to shout it from the walls. He will have to accept my decision."
"Does he know of your condition?" Guibert asked shrewdly.
"No," she admitted, glancing at him and then away. "I will not give him that excuse to force me to return to Crewel."
"I pray he will let you go," he said, sighing. "If not"—he shook his head—"God help us."
Chapter 45
LEONIE worried over Guibert's misgivings for days to follow, for she had believed that Rolfe would come to Pershwick immediately, but she was quite wrong. Days turned into weeks, and still he did not come. She was as miserable as she had ever been.
After two weeks, Leonie opened Pershwick again, allowing things to take their normal course. She sent back the extra men she had requested from her other keeps, but kept her men-at-arms ready. The stores were full with the recent harvest, so she had no worry there. Time dragged by, taking with it the remains of her good humor. Nearly four weeks had passed since she left Crewel. She was two and a half months into her pregnancy, with a thickened waist her gowns could barely disguise. She was disgusted, having wanted to give Rolfe her ultimatum without bringing their child into the argument.
One unseasonably warm day, she stood on the parapet and watched her husband approach the keep. Four of his knights rode directly behind him. But beyond that was a sight that froze her where she stood.
"Sweetest Mary, he's brought his whole army!"
There seemed to be a thousand men moving toward Pershwick. The army stopped well out of range of Pershwick's weapons. Did that mean Rolfe truly expected a battle?
"I warned you, my lady," her friend and vassal said dolefully.
Leonie tore her eyes away from the horrifying sight below and made no attempt to hide her fear from Sir Guibert.
"I will have the gate opened," he said.
"No," she returned, and his face collapsed into a picture of misery.
"God's mercy, Leonie, what can you be thinking? This is no longer a woman's whim. Your lord is serious!"
"I tell you he will not attack us," she insisted. "He has brought his army only to frighten me."
"You would risk all our lives on an assumption?" he cried.
"Guibert, please," Leonie pleaded. "This is my whole life that will be decided here. Let me at least hear what he has to say. If you give me up to him without even that, he will never believe he must take my feelings into account."
Guibert looked out again at the men. A man did not order a paid army to follow him unless he meant to make use of that army. She was fooling herself. The Black Wolf was prepared to attack.
"You will talk to him yourself?" he asked, and when she said "Yes," he asked hastily, "You will not provoke him?"
Leonie sh
ook her head. "I will be careful, but he must know I am firm.
How else can we come to terms? But I swear, if it does not go well, I will surrender."
"Very well." Guibert sighed heavily. "But remember a man's pride, my lady, and do not push him too far. Pride can make a man do things he doesn't really want to do, for honor's sake."
Rolfe and his knights had ridden to the gatehouse and halted. Rolfe slowly surveyed the manned walls to each side of the gatehouse, the weapons trained on him, the closed gate. Tension crackled in the air.
Rolfe demanded entrance and was refused. Leonie held her breath, waiting for his reaction. How far, indeed, would Rolfe go for honor's sake?
"My lady wife is within?"
"I am here, my lord," Leonie called down to him.
"Lean forward. I cannot see you, madame," he shouted up.
She leaned forward. She could see him fully. He wore full armor, and because he didn't remove his helmet, even his eyes were hidden.
Rolfe moved his destrier so that he and the horse were standing directly beneath her. "You have readied Pershwick for war?"
"Keeps should always be kept in a state of readiness," she said evasively. "I would as well ask you why you have brought your army here."
"Why, to please you, of course," he called. "Isn't war what you want?"
Leonie gasped. "I take precautions, my lord, nothing else."
His voice whipped out fiercely. "Against me!"
"Yes!"
"Why, Leonie?"
The answer was too embarrassing to be shouted down at him, but shout she must.
"My lord, I will abide no more at Crewel with your . . . with Lady Amelia in residence."
"I cannot hear you, Leonie."
She had heardhimplainly enough. Did he mean to shame her?
Leonie steeled herself and leaned farther over the parapet. "I said I will no longer abide at Crewel with Amelia there also!"
"Isthatwhat this is about?" He sounded quite incredulous.
"Yes."
And then the unthinkable happened. Rolfe began to laugh. He removed his helmet and his laughter grew louder and louder. It carried over the walls into the quiet keep.