Page 11

by Avril Ashton

“Which part?”

“All of it,” Is snapped. He took a breath and looked around. “None of it should have happened, Reggie.”

“But it did.” Reggie licked his lips, still tasting him. “It happened, and you kissed me back.”

Is reared back as if he’d been struck. “A mistake.”

“Fuck that.” Reggie struggled to a sitting position. “Nothing that includes your hands on me or my tongue down your throat is a mistake.”

Is’ lashes swept down, hiding his eyes from Reggie. “I just came to make sure you were okay.” He stepped back, spreading his hands. “To apologize.”

“Yeah?” Reggie lifted a brow with a scowl. “Well congrats. You did that.”

A muscle ticked at Is’ temple. “Like I said before, I think we should end all association with each other.” He spun away, taking hurried strides to the door.

“Is.” Desperation clawed at Reggie, cramping his insides. “Is, don’t you fucking walk away.”

Is stopped at the door, forehead pressed against it. “You wanted me to let you go. That’s what I’m doing.”

“That’s all I get? That’s all you have for me?”

Is didn’t speak, but his defeated stance, his silence, tore at Reggie.

“You can’t hide from it. You can’t ignore it. I’ve tried.” Reggie intended to pound his own chest, but barely ended up touching it. Pain robbed him of fluid of movement. “I’ve tried for fucking months, Is. Months.”

Is made a sound and twisted the door knob.

“Don’t.” Reggie’s breath hitched. “You got me fucking begging, Is. Don’t walk out that door.” He fisted the blankets, cursing his dizziness that kept him chained to the bed, unable to go after Is.

“Why is it so easy for you?” Is asked in a low voice, back still to the room, to Reggie. “This. Why do you accept it? Why aren’t you fighting harder, freaking out? Why do you want it?”

Reggie blinked. Was he serious? “Easy? You think this is easy? You’re denying it, running from it, and I’m the fucking idiot trapped here begging you not to go. How is it easy? How is this fucking easy?”

Is didn’t answer, he didn’t look back. What he did was open the door. “Take care of yourself, rude boy.”

“No! Is, don’t go.” Reggie lurched forward as Is did the same, out the room, out of Reggie’s life. “Don’t walk away,” the softly spoke words drifted from his frozen lips as Reggie stared at the door, wishing Is back.

Didn’t work.

* * * *

His mother found out about his hospital stay and came over to his place, yelling and shouting. Reggie just let her have her say, he remained quiet while she reprimanded him for keeping something like that from her.

Sometimes his parents forgot he was a grown ass man, capable of killing with his bare hands. Of course, he didn’t mention that. He let them take care of him, saying as little as possible. Sometimes he’d catch his father staring at him, as if he couldn’t quite put his finger on something.

Reggie couldn’t care. His chest hurt, making it difficult to breathe.

When his parents left, Teo and Tommy stopped by. Reggie wasn’t a very good host and he knew they were worried about him. Thankfully, Teo didn’t bring up any mention of Is. Reggie didn’t harbor any illusions that Teo wouldn’t tell his husband, but at least neither man brought it up to him. He just might fall out if they did.

Is was in Miami. Reggie remembered Is telling him he’d be traveling there to get some business set up for laundering his money. They’d been to Miami. Once, but it had been an extravagant trip, filled with sex, liquor, and weed. The idea of Is going back to that after what they’d shared didn’t sit well. Nothing sat well, but what could he do?

He’d talked to Kezia, apologizing for not reaching out to her once he got back from the cabin. He’d wanted to, really wanted to. But that was stupid. He didn’t truly want her. Only the idea of her appealed. She represented normalcy, all the things he should desire.

The headache from his concussion had eased up, thanks to some strong as hell meds. All his scans came back okay, and he’d been discharged with a prescription for the nausea and dizziness. He hadn’t planned on filling that prescription, but he’d had to break down and let his mother fill it. That dizziness was a bitch. Good thing though, the pills helped. Now he could move around gingerly, so he took a shower after his visitors left and parked his ass on the couch, watching ESPN with the volume turned down.

A knock on his door startled him and he lurched upright. “Shit.” He took a breath and got to his feet cautiously. He squinted into the peephole and frowned. Pulling open the door, he asked, “What the hell are you doing here?”

Xavier Storm cocked an eyebrow while Dima Zhirkov stood next to him with a wide grin.

“Heard you were sick,” Xavier said.

“So?”

“So we brought you some feel-good candy,” Dima piped up.

Reggie stared pointedly at Dima’s empty hands. “Really.”

Dima waved a hand. “I ate it, but the point is, we were bringing it.” He didn’t even sound contrite.

Reggie turned back to Xavier. “Why are you really here?”

“Can we come in?” Dima asked. “Why do you still live in the projects, anyway?”

“Mind your business, Russian.” Reggie glared at him. “I haven’t forgiven you for what you did.”

Dima’s teeth flashed and his eyes crinkled at the corners. “To who? Teo, Tommy or…Israel?”

Reggie folded his arms and scowled at him.

“You’re right.” Dima nodded to Xavier. “That one’s got it bad.” He brushed past Reggie and into the apartment “Gentlemen, please. Come in.”

Reggie whirled to face him. “You do know this is my place, right?” But he stepped aside when Xavier crowded his back. Defeat washed over him and Reggie sighed, slamming the door shut before going back to sit on the couch.

“Reggie.” Dima looked at him with all kinds of fucked-up pity and sympathy in his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Why the fuck are you here?” The words exploded from him. “I don’t have time for this.”

“What happened between you and Is?” Xavier sat opposite him, gaze steady and deep on Reggie’s face.

“What?” Reggie trapped his shaking hands between his knees.

“He’s in Miami,” X said. “Running everybody ragged down there. I’m hearing he’s making enemies left and right with his shitty attitude.”

“Uh.” Reggie shook his head in confusion. “And you think this has something to do with me?”

“He’s not taking my calls—”

“He doesn’t have to,” Reggie interrupted. “You gave him full control of the business. He no longer has a partner so he doesn’t have to take your calls.”

Xavier’s gaze sharpened and he sat back. “So something did happen.”

“What? No.”

“Why did he punch you?” Dima asked.

“Who told you—” Reggie grimaced. “Fucking Teo is worse than a girl.”

“He told us Is put you in the hospital, but he didn’t say why.” Xavier’s expression was concerned when he asked, “What happened?”

Reggie dropped his head back and closed his eyes. “I kissed him.”

Someone gasped, sounded like Dima. “Dude. Suicidal much?”

Reggie grinned, though it wasn’t a humorous gesture. “He kissed me back.”

“Fuck.” That was Xavier. “Fuck.”

Reggie reopened his eyes. “He wants me. I want him. I kissed him, he responded then punched me out.” He licked his lips. “And while I was in my hospital bed, he ended our,” he waved a hand, “association.”

Both men stared at him.

“So that’s what happened.”

“Does he know you love him?” Xavier asked.

Reggie shrugged. “I didn’t tell him.”

“But you want something from him,” Dima said. He sat next to Reggie on the
couch. “Sex or more?”

Sex or more. Reggie hadn’t even thought beyond the moment. For the longest time he didn’t even allow himself to think anything at all, so sure Is would never return his feelings. But he did, Is did, so what did Reggie want? “I don’t—” He chuckled. “I haven’t even fully thought about sex,” he confessed. “About the mechanics of it.”

“The internet is your friend.” Dima winked. “Gay porn, familiarize yourself with it. I’m sure you’ve fucked your women in the ass before?”

“Rush.”

Dima ignored Xavier’s warning tone. “Same rule applies. Lots of lube. Prep is key. Use those fingers.” His gaze dropped to Reggie’s hands. “Mm. Nice fingers, too.”

Reggie’s face heated in a blush. Shit. “You coming on to me?” He knew how Dima stayed, having seen him in action when the Russian was with Teo. He glanced at Xavier who just sat back watching them. “Is he coming on to me?”

Xavier shrugged. “Depends. You want him to come on to you?”

Reggie gaped at him. “What?”

Dima touched Reggie’s shoulder. “Besides Israel, you ever kissed another man?”

“Hell no!” Reggie bristled. “I’ve never been interested in that.”

“So are you just getting hard for Is or are you into men in general?” Xavier cocked his head and watched Reggie, making him squirm.

“I don’t— I don’t know.” He hadn’t even thought about that. He rubbed his jaw. “This is all so complicated, you know?”

“Doesn’t have to be.” Dima inched closer. “You wanna find out?”

Reggie’s gaze flew to Xavier. The big silent man had him on edge. Reggie didn’t want to do anything to piss him off. “Find out what?”

“If my kiss gets you hard,” Dima whispered. His breath smelled like caramel, likely the candy he’d eaten. Reggie did remember the Russian’s love for all things sweet.

“Uh…” He looked to Xavier again. “You okay with this?” He didn’t know why, but something told him he needed to clear everything with Xavier first before he fucked up.

Xavier jerked his head, a barely perceptible nod. His eyes were narrowed, nostrils flaring as he grabbed on to either side of the chair he sat on. Reggie frowned, but didn’t get a chance to speak because Dima’s breath was whispering across his throat.

Reggie went taut, holding his breath. A blur of movement caught his eye and he jumped. Xavier yanked Dima way, fisting the back of his t-shirt and hauling him off.

“Wha—”

Xavier dragged Dima away, out of the living room and into Reggie’s adjoining kitchen. He remained frozen. Unsure of what the hell was happening…

Until he heard the heavy breathing and smack of flesh against flesh.

Were they—

“Fuck.” Xavier’s voice was like broken glass as it drifted to Reggie. “Lick it. Yess.” He hissed. “Rush.”

The muffled moans and gurgling must be Dima. Those bastards were fucking in his kitchen. Reggie stroked his hard cock. Well, now he knew he was turned on by men. The idea of Dima and X having sex mere feet away was…arousing. He shoved his hand under his waistband and thumped his wet cock head, the pad of his finger sliding over the slippery crown.

He inhaled deeply, wishing Is was the one touching him.

“Ass up. Gimma that fucking ass.” Xavier sounded like a wild animal.

“Shit. Oh God.” And Dima’s tone was just as out of control, and just as Goddamn loud. “Deeper. Don’t fucking tease.”

Reggie jerked himself furiously, hips lifting off the couch. As turned on as he was, he hated the position he was now in. Listening to another couple make love, wishing he had what they had, knowing it was a high probability he never would.

He listened to Xavier and Dima lose themselves in each other, jealousy and arousal a hot, burning mix in his gut. He got harder, especially as Dima got louder. Begging. Reggie licked his lips.

“Come for me,” Xavier spoke as though through clenched teeth. “Just like that.”

Dima let out a low wail and Reggie came, biting his tongue, hot seed filling his palm. His chest heaved and he blinked several times to clear the dark spots in his vision. He barely had time to yank his hand away and wipe it on his pant leg before Dima and Xavier were traipsing back into the living room.

The Russian’s eyes were glassy, lips swollen and red. Faint red marks were visible around the tattoos on his neck. Xavier didn’t look ruffled at all. He was as impeccable dressed as ever, not a rumple in sight. Only the drowsy look in his eyes gave him away.

“Sorry about that.” Dima didn’t look sorry at all. In fact, he looked high and happy about it. He jerked a thumb toward Xavier. “He doesn’t like me touching other people.”

“But you said it was okay,” Reggie told Xavier.

The dark-skinned man shrugged. “Changed my mind.” He pulled Dima into his arms. The Russian rolled his eyes, but Reggie could tell that was only for show.

Reggie squinted at them. “You do this, share? Play with other people?” He didn’t think he’d ever be able to do that if he ever found himself in a relationship.

Dima chuckled though something dark and dangerous flashed in his eyes. “I don’t share my candy and I love them. No way am I sharing him.”

“I don’t share.” Xavier’s words were sharp and succinct. No mistaking the possession in the words or the way he looked at Dima.

Reggie’s chest hurt even more. “So why all this trying to kiss me business?”

A smile small played on Dima’s mouth. “Were you hard?”

“Like a fucking diamond.”

“Now you know Is isn’t the only man you can be attracted to,” Xavier said. “Have you thought about that, being with another man? Someone not Is?” A calculating looked crept over his face. “Maybe my cousin needs to see you move on, be with someone else.”

Reggie’s jaw dropped. He was just fully accepting what he felt for Is and they wanted him to be with another man? “I can’t even—”

“Think about it.” Xavier linked fingers with Dima and together they walked to the door.

“O-Okay.” Jeez. Reggie rubbed his temple. He needed a week’s sleep, but wanted to check out that gay porn business Dima was talking about. Just thinking about it had his spent cock stirring.

Damn.

“Oh.”

At the female gasp, he swung his head toward the door. Kezia stood in the doorway, gaping at Xavier and Dima, a casserole dish in her hands.

“Kezia.”

She peered around Xavier to smile at Reggie. “Reggie, I brought you some dinner.”

Dima smiled at her. “Kezia, is it?”

She blushed, lashes dropping before quickly lifting. “Yeah.”

“How do you know my friend, Reggie, here?”

“We’re…” She paused long enough to imply way more. “Friends.”

“Ah.” Dima nodded then flashed a wink at Reggie. “Interesting.” He tugged on Xavier and they walked out into the hall.

Kezia stepped inside and kicked the door closed before turning to him with a smile. “Hope you’re hungry.”

Damn it.

Chapter Twelve

He knew he was being a son of a bitch, but Is couldn’t find it in him to care. With his business in Miami concluded after three days, he made his way back to New York. He had a dozen or more missed calls and messages from Xavier. He had to talk to his cousin some time. There were no words strong enough to express the conflict eating away at him. Until he could talk it out, he wasn’t even going to try.

In an attempt to put Reggie out of his mind, he went to an all-white party at Club Amazura over in Jamaica. He’d planned to go long before this, with Tawnya as his plus one. She didn’t seem to hold it against him that he’d thrown her out of his house with a gun at her head. She didn’t have questions when he swung by her place to pick her up.

Thank God for that because he didn’t have any answers for her. She was a beautiful woman, dark hair b
rushing her shoulders, skin like toffee and just as smooth. Her breasts were natural, soft and more than a palm full they were still perky. She was proportioned just right for his tastes, wide hips, thick thighs. And she could fuck and suck like the highest paid porn stars. Tonight she wore a tight, short white dress with one shoulder, made of a spandex-like material that clung to her curves. He could tell she was panty-less and if this was any other time, he’d be knuckles deep in her.

This wasn’t any other time. He didn’t even get stiff when she sat next to him and crossed legs elongated even more by the flesh-toned heels on her feet. It was beyond fucked-up. She chatted on and on about what the fuck ever. Is just tuned her out. Time to end his association with her, as well.

Inside the large club, Tawnya stuck by his side as he made the rounds, catching up with acquaintances he hadn’t seen a while. He introduced her as his friend and that irked, he could see it other face. Not that he gave two fucks. He got them a bottle of champagne, and deposited it and her in the section reserved for him before going off in a different direction. The pounding music echoed in his veins, but it did nothing for him. Usually he’d be right there, in the thick of the crowd, enjoying himself. Something was missing.

Felt as if he’d lost a limb.

Back up against the wall, a beer in hand he stared out over the crowd, but all he saw was Reggie. All he heard was Reggie begging him not to walk out the hospital room. What was he supposed to do, though? Give in? Then what? What came after?

A soft hand touched his shoulder. He stiffened. Tawnya stood next to him, her hand sliding down his hand, coming to a stop at the small of his back. She leaned in closer, burying her face in his neck. Is didn’t stop her. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could do this. He could put everything with Reggie in the past and focus on this. They were over. Their friendship done.

It’s for the best.

He stepped back and Tawnya slid in front of him, her back to his front as she swayed to the music. Is brushed her hair from her nape and pressed his nose to her skin. Her movements got bolder, ass riding his crotch as she moved to Charly Black’s First Time. Is put his hand on her hip and she grabbed it, putting it on her upper thigh, just under her dress. He curled his fingers.