by Skye Warren
He chuckled softly. “Are you shutting me out like we’re an old married couple? Should I go sleep on the couch?”
I ignored him, snuggling deeper against the pillow and tugging the sheet up to my chin.
He muttered something I couldn’t understand. The bed dipped, and then I heard his steady footfalls creaking the wood across the floor. He reached the small bathroom where he’d grabbed me earlier—and gone down on me.
The door closed.
A squeak and shudder as the shower turned on.
He’d already taken a shower—we both had—but he’d seemed agitated. Just like he had at the diner when he’d left me inside. His past was his vulnerability, an Achilles heel on a body otherwise flush with armor. Even thinking about it, talking about it, made him need to be alone. He left me alone.
Last time I had made a run for it and it hadn’t worked out, because the people were too afraid of Hunter and whatever retribution he might hold for them. Would James and Laura be scared of him too? No, they seemed completely unafraid, but that was because they didn’t know what he’d done to me—what he was truly capable of. They had more to lose, considering Billy.
I didn’t believe Hunter would take retribution on Billy or any of them. But it was a gamble and for once, the stakes weren’t only my life.
It isn’t muscles that make you strong. It’s how much you want it.
I threw back the sheet and stood, glancing wildly around the room for something to knock him out…or lock him in. A couple of wooden dining room chairs were piled in the corner of the room. Out of place in a bedroom but most likely kept in the basement for storage. I hooked one under the doorknob, hoping he didn’t hear the thump over the water, praying it would hold.
The shower kept running, so I tugged my dress over my head, covering my panties and tank top. My heartbeat thudded in my ears. Like before, there was a moment of doubt: was I doing the right thing? Maybe I could have reasoned with him. But like before, it was too late. I had crossed the Rubicon. I was committed.
I climbed the stairs and emerged in the darkened hallway. I crept into the living room, scanning the side tables for a phone to call the police. Nothing. Creeping along the walls, I moved toward the kitchen. Walking through the darkened doorway, I ran into a warm chest. My scream came out muffled.
“Hunter?” I breathed.
“Evie?” It was James. “Are you okay?”
“Oh God,” I groaned, slumped back against the wall. The kitchen light flickered on, blinding me for a moment.
James stood there in his robe, holding a glass of water. “Are you okay?” he repeated. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
I would have to tell James. I had hoped to avoid this part, even though they would certainly have found out when sirens pulled up outside their house. Maybe it was better to give him a warning. Was there etiquette for escaping from a kidnapper inside someone else’s house?
My mouth opened, mute against painful, confusing words about a man I’d come to care about. God, it was true. I did care about Hunter. There were very few people in this world who had ever bothered about me, and between him and my mother, he was preferable.
Pitiful.
“I—I’ve been k-k-kidnapped,” I said.
He stared at me. “What?”
“I’ve been k-kidnapped. B-by Hunter.” Deep breath. “He kidnapped me two weeks ago and has been k-k-keeping me in his truck with him. I need to c-c-call the police.”
He stared at me intently and then ran a hand through his hair, making it stand up at odd angles and adding a comical edge to the situation. Or maybe that was just my hysteria.
“Please tell me you’re sleeping,” he finally said. “This is some sort of waking dream or…something. I don’t know. Jesus.”
A tear fell down my cheek. “P-p-please help me.”
“Okay,” he said. “Just calm down a minute. We’ll sort this out. Where’s Hunter right now?”
“No, you c-c-can’t talk to him.” Panic bubbled up, not just for me but for James. I didn’t really believe that Hunter would hurt these people, but I didn’t want to throw the dice if I could help it. I tried to reason with him. “P-p-please, let’s just c-call them. I swear I’m t-telling the truth, and if I’m not, they’ll figure it out anyway. Please.”
He stared at me, sorrow creeping over the bewilderment in his eyes. “You’re serious.”
I nodded.
“Jesus.” He ran a hand through his hair again. “Okay, go ahead and sit down. I’ll call the cops.”
I sank into the chair while he went to the phone. He’d already dialed when Laura appeared at the door.
“What’s going on?” Her eyes were wide, frightened. Either she’d heard the tenor of our voices or just smelled the fear in the air. It was something I’d learned in my time with Hunter, that fear had a primal scent, a universal sign to get out while you still could. That was what the workers at the diner had done. You’re on your own, they’d said, thus saving their own behinds, and I couldn’t blame them. But there were people like James who didn’t think twice about trying to help me when he realized I was in trouble.
People like Laura.
James kept running his hand over his face, through his hair. It was a nervous gesture on repeat.
He spoke into the phone lowly. “Yes, I have an emergency. There’s a girl here. She’s in trouble. It’s at my house. She’s been kidnapped.”
Laura gasped, her gaze darting between me and James. I could almost see the switch flipping inside her, from sweet country woman to mama bear. She marched over to me.
“By us? Is that what you’re telling them? Explain this to me.”
“Hunter,” I whispered. Dread settled in my gut. It couldn’t have been that easy.
“Kidnapped,” she said flatly. Then louder. “You want us to believe he kidnapped you, when we all saw you walk in this house of your own free will?”
“What was I supposed t-t-to d-d-do,” I cried, silently cursing my stutter. “Run d-down the road in the middle of nowhere? My c-c-car is back in the motel where he t-took me.”
I hated that I couldn’t explain myself better, more clearly, but I was too agitated to form the words clearly. You could speak just fine with Hunter, an inner voice taunted. As if I trusted him. I hated that I trusted him.
Laura pulled the phone away from a startled James and slammed down the receiver. For a moment, no one spoke, and the room was alight with the sound of our heavy, fearful breaths.
“Laura,” James said softly. “If she’s telling the truth…”
“No.”
“We have to at least help her. If she’s lying, they’ll find out.”
“After he’s been dragged to a jail in handcuffs. Someone with a prison record. They aren’t going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Are you going to be responsible for that?”
His hand ran over his face, through his hair. “If she’s telling the truth…”
“She’s not. Hunter would never—“ Her voice cracked.
“Look, I have a hard time believing it too, but he never was the same after he got out. You know that. And I have no reason not to believe her.”
We were silent. I stared at them, feeling myself tremble but curiously detached. It was always easier to let someone else decide my fate. I’d certainly had enough practice.
The phone rang.
Laura picked it up. “Hello? No, I’m sorry, that was a misunderstanding. He thought I was in trouble, but I’m fine.” A few more answers and she hung up. “They’re going to send a squad car by in the morning to check up on us.”
James’s hands finally stilled at his side. “Laura. If she’s telling the truth, we have to help her.”
Laura’s expression hardened. “Even if I knew for sure she was telling the truth, I’m not going to help put Hunter behind bars again. No matter what.”
My stomach turned over. So that was it. Once more someone had seen my helplessness and turned away. That this was more pers
onal, an old unexplained loyalty to Hunter made it bittersweet but no less painful.
How sad, to realize my mother was right after all. Her righteousness tasted like acid in my mouth. I hadn’t wanted to believe it was true. What a lonely world. So very cold.
Distantly, I heard banging coming from downstairs. Hunter was done with his shower.
I stood and walked to the back door. Laura was demanding I come back. James was asking me to give him a chance, promising he’d help me, that he was on my side if I’d just trust him. What a joke. I unlocked the door and stepped outside. The night air was cool on my face, sprinkled with early dew. Sunrise was just a strip of blue along the horizon, barely peeking from its slumber. I crossed the lawn in my bare feet, the grass tickling my soles. Then faster. They’d go down and let him out. Any second he would come barreling after me.
How badly did I want to be free?
I picked up speed, running over the ground, the darkened green blurring beneath my feet. Faster and faster, until my breath sawed through my throat, until pain stabbed my side. I went toward the line of trees. They’d talked about the lake out back where they’d gone fishing, part of an elaborate trail and camping grounds.
Brush tugged at my dress, pulling at my hair, the small pain sweeter because I knew it meant freedom. Each small rip of my skin, each bruise of a rock beneath my bare feet was the soft plunk of a coin in exchange for one more second in the wild. Like an animal, I ran with no direction, no plan, my singular goal to escape.
I ached everywhere, inside and out, but still I continued, and finally I understood fully what Hunter had meant. I thought in those moments that I would die from this alone, that my heart would burst out of my chest, that my body would seize and fall to the ground, but I kept going. It wasn’t even wanting something badly, it was wanting it more than death. It was dying for something and being reborn.
Minutes, hours passed as I ran through the trees. I could run forever and not see another person, I thought. I could fall down and never get up, but more than relief I wanted freedom.
Sunlight broke through the trees, irreverent to my hopeless wandering. Birds chirped as I passed by, going about their day while I hungered and ached. Just like the people had done. I was alone, but I didn’t want the statement to wring sadness from my heart anymore. I wanted to be like Hunter—content in my solitary travels. Though when I had begun to look up to my captor, I didn’t know.
Adrenaline was a sweet elixir rushing through my blood, giving the world a lovely orange glow. Everything seemed breathless and yet wonderful, gasping for air and laughing all at once. It was almost as sweet as the rush of orgasm when he—no, I wouldn’t think about that.
That had been wrong. Disgusting, even. He had warped me into thinking it was okay, even for a few minutes, for days, weeks. I didn’t want to do that again, not ever. Which was convenient, because I couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone but him.
That was only the limitation of my experience, I reminded myself. I straightened. I was going to try lots of things. Maybe not sex, but there was more to do in the world than that, wasn’t there? No one would call me naïve when I was finished.
I walked for some time before my feet began to bleed. The grass had seemed like manna at first, like a magic carpet that had carried my away, but now it caked onto my sore feet, dragging me down.
I tried to think smarter, strategically. I didn’t have any of the things from my backpack, didn’t have my car, and I was alone in the woods. Not an auspicious beginning to my newfound freedom. But I resolved to keep going. Just keep walking and I’d find something new. Something better.
The afternoon waned into dusk, the edges of my vision tinted with purple. I could only see trees in every direction. I was so tired. Thirsty too. My worst fears began to surface in the delirium. I wasn’t cut out for the regular world.
Gradually, like the drift of a cloud, I became aware of the tinkling of water. I stopped walking and cocked my head to listen, then headed in that direction. It felt like I’d never find anything, like maybe it had been a mirage even as the rush of water got louder, the taste of moisture in the air grew thicker.
Shadows lengthened on the ground and pooled into darkness. Night had fallen. I glanced back the way I had come and saw only darkness. How far had I gone? Miles, light years away. It was impossible to tell and didn’t matter anyway.
I was too far away to be found by Hunter. Too far to ever find him again, even if I wanted to, and an inexplicable sadness stole my breath away.
The ground beneath my feet turned from grass to muck then to wet sand. I stumbled out onto a steep beach. Gentle waves lapped at packed sand. A burst of joy and relief pushed out of my body as a laugh. I stumbled down the bank, washing my feet in the frigid water. I splashed it on my face and drank it down.
When my feet were numb from the cold, I reluctantly returned to the shore. A soft of smoky air tickled my nose. Fire?
Running over the heavy sand, I saw a reddish point of light in the distance. The closer I got, the hazier it became, large and weighty—a campfire on the beach, and that meant people. I felt light, flying, almost there.
Two black shadows burnished with orange approached me while I babbled: p-p-please help me, oh I’m so glad I f-found you, I was lost. One of them got a blanket and draped it over me. Slowly the shapes turned into people. They were young, maybe my age, maybe a few years older. Both male, though I would have been hard-pressed to use the word man. Despite the scruff marring their faces, they both had a boyish quality. It was their eyes. No worry there, no hardships weighed on them. They did not seem overly concerned with my hardships either. One took a sip from a beer bottle.
The other examined me with detached curiosity. His dreadlocks were tied back with a ribbon, his shirt ripped down the side, exposing pale skin stretched over slender ribs. “Where you from, sweetheart? You damn near gave me a heart attack. You came out of nowhere, like you flew from the sky.”
I blinked. What a strange thing to say. “I was running away from—never mind.”
It was a relief, I told myself. These were exactly the type of people I had been seeking in the first place. They didn’t take things too seriously, not even a dirty, bruised woman stumbling out of the woods. Maybe they were even thrill seekers. That would explain why they were out here in the middle of nowhere, camping on the beach. Devil may care.
The circumstances may be strange, but I wasn’t going to waste this opportunity. In fact, as the seconds ticked by, instead of calming down, adrenaline flooded my system.
“I’m Evie. What’re your names?”
The one with dreadlocks said, “I’m Trevor. That’s Rob.”
“Nice to meet you.” I laughed, still a little lightheaded from the lack of food or water or sleep. “Well, T-T-Trevor, I’m going to t-tell you something. I’ve had a really bad d-day, but that’s over now.”
“Yeah, because you’re here now. You can stay with us.”
“Actually I probably need t-to find a town.” And a police station.
I didn’t relish the thought of turning him in, but I didn’t have a way of getting back my stuff without him. My car, my camera—my book. Some days I wondered if the book meant more to me than the place.
“It’s a hike up that way.” Trevor waved down the river. “We’re going back tomorrow morning if you want us to show you.”
Relief flooded me. “That would be great.”
Rob popped open a beer from their cooler and held it out. “Thirsty?”
* * * *
“Hold her down.”
I woke up without air. Someone was on top of my chest, holding me down. Something else was clamped over my mouth, blocking my breath. I struggled, managing to dislodge the hand long enough to suck in precious lungfuls, but by the time I could focus again, my arms were bent backward, trapped in the sand by two heavy knees pressing down, cutting off circulation.
Trevor straddled my chest, mauling my breasts. My dress was pushed up, th
e thin fabric bunched around my neck, making me feel even more trapped. My breathing came faster. Dark spots danced in front of my eyes. I was going to black out. Maybe that would be best. Then I wouldn’t have to feel what came next. But I might not wake up. Already I struggled to breathe, jerking and flailing for unblocked access to the crisp night air.
Slowly, I stilled. Around me, there was motion. The men were moving over me, around me. Hurting me. I stared up at the stars. They were so bright out here. There were never so many at home. Was this the price to see them?
A sharp pain stabbed at my center. My entire body recoiled from his penetration, writhing in the sand with nowhere to go. The night sky blurred as tears filled my eyes, and the twinkling lights melted and swirled. It reminded me of a painting I’d seen in a book, swirls of blue and yellow. Maybe the artist had cried and painted what he’d seen. Maybe he had been hurt too while looking up at the sky.
How had this happened? I’d agreed to stay the night in their camp. They were hiking back to the nearest town in the morning and they’d take me with them. Oh God, oh God. Had it been a lie to keep me there? Or I’d just been too convenient.
The world was exactly as awful as my mother had said it was, but I didn’t even wish to be home. Like the girl in the story, the true story, I wanted to take a canoe onto the river, to let it slip over the waterfall and never have to worry again.
This time, Hunter wasn’t here to catch me. No god of thunder to keep me safe.
I was alone, though I’d lost something precious, something important along my harrowing trip through the trees. I’d lost fear. So let me die, let me hurt. I didn’t care, and the detachment lent me strength.
With a force unknown, I snapped my head forward. My forehead cracked against the man on top of me. I shoved him off me and started to get up. Other hands dragged me down, but I kicked and screamed. I bit down on fingers until I tasted blood and felt my teeth grind against bone.
Blows rained down on my head, my stomach. I fell to the ground, gasping for air but taking in sand. Pain blossomed all over my body as they closed in on me. They huddled around me and kicked, and I stared up at the sky, my body jostled about by their currents, tipping over the edge of the waterfalls and falling, tumbling to a welcomed conclusion.