by Tessa Bailey
Fear tearing at his insides, he turned and lunged at Derek, grabbing him by the shoulders. “How? How did you know she was gone?” His voice cracked. “Where is she?”
Derek pried Connor’s hands off, but there was a hint of empathy in his eyes. “We’ve been following Luther’s car since yesterday. He ditched it in a lot. Best we can tell, he picked up a different vehicle.” He checked his phone and cursed. “We don’t know for sure he took her. It’s just a hunch. You know her, she likes to take off once in a while.” Even as Derek said the words meant to calm him, his eyes were grave. He knew what the ditched cell phone and knife meant.
“No,” Connor felt the need to reiterate. He swiped a hand through his hair, denial over the entire situation coursing through him like bolts of electricity. “No, she wouldn’t have left like this. She doesn’t need to. Not anymore. He has her. Jesus, he fucking has her.”
Connor shot toward the exit, intending to drive like a bat out of hell to the bastard’s house. If she wasn’t there, he’d turn over every block in the city until he found her.
Derek stepped into his path. “Look, you’re not going to help her by flying off the handle. I’ve got a guy at the lot questioning the owner. We’ll find out what he’s driving.”
Connor had lost the ability to reason. All he could think of was Erin, scared and alone. Wondering why he hadn’t come to check on her sooner. God. Before he could bypass the captain and leave the bathroom, Derek’s cell phone rang. He answered it without delay. “Captain Tyler.” He listened for a moment before his gaze locked with Connor. “White panel van. License plate number?” He nodded once. “Put out a BOLO on the vehicle. Do it now.”
It was the laughing that snapped her out of it. Luther’s high-pitched chuckle coming from the front of the van. Erin had no idea how long she’d been lying there, caged on the floor, listening to her thoughts deteriorate into a vacuum of noise. Her fingers were curled around the thin metal crisscrosses, but she hadn’t made the futile attempt to shake them, nor could she work up the wherewithal to scream. One thought went round and round in her head, sounding like it was being spoken inside a cave.
She’d done the right thing. She’d let him live. And she still didn’t get to win.
“Fair” had never been an active word in her vocabulary, because the concept had never really existed for her. But right now, as the van took her farther and farther from the life she’d only just managed to get a foothold in, she wanted to shout and rail at the unfairness of it. Unfair. Unfair. She’d regressed back to the child in the closet, screaming for a mother who would never come. A savior who would never save her.
Connor.
His name whispered through her mind like fog.
The maelstrom of noise eased a little…receding like a wave. She pressed her open mouth against the back of her hand and sobbed. He’d told her he was proud of her, but he wouldn’t be proud if he could see her now. Curled up like a weeping baby, lamenting the past. Maybe she had never been that girl he was proud of. Maybe she’d only been pretending.
No. No. Fuck that.
She wouldn’t give up, and neither would he. If she didn’t believe in him, then she’d been lying all along, and that trust she’d claimed to have had never existed. But not just in him. In herself. She would fight and bargain and scrape her way out of this and back to him. She loved him too much to give up.
The van stopped and she forced her breathing to even out. In, out. In, out. Her stepfather knew what small spaces did to her, hence the cage. Hence his ploy that long-ago afternoon in the prison to send her to solitary. He wouldn’t expect her to be lucid, let alone ready to rumble.
Think.
With renewed determination, she reached out and examined the lock with her fingertips, unable to see in the nonexistent light. No go. She fumbled through her pocket until she found her ever-present matches, striking one and breathing deeply as it flared like a beacon in the dark. Focus. Okay, standard lock. Not a padlock and nothing fancy enough to keep her from picking it, if she only had something to use. Normally, she kept a bobby pin handy for occasions like this, but with her newfound confidence in herself, she’d grown complacent. Dammit. She tried to remember what she’d seen upon entering the van, but nothing came to mind except for the cage.
No…there had been rack against the wall. Had there been tools? Something. There had to be something. Erin crammed herself as far as she could into the corner of the small cage and rammed her body against the other side, hoping to scoot it toward the rack. It didn’t budge.
So she did it again.
And again.
“Come on, come on.”
Connor’s stomach lurched violently as Derek took a sharp turn off of Lake Shore Drive toward the water. Diversey Harbor, the sign said. Police personnel fanned the expressway about a mile behind them, but he and Derek were closing in on the van. An off-duty cop had spotted the van seconds after the BOLO had gone out and followed. The cop’s voice buzzed though the radio on Derek’s dashboard, steadily updating them on the van’s progress toward the harbor.
A throbbing had started behind his eyes, matching his wild pulse. If he let himself picture the scenario in which Erin’s stepfather required a body of water, he wouldn’t hold it together, so he closed his eyes and tried like hell to breathe. Told himself that as soon as this car stopped, he would find her and hold her. Tell her how sorry he was for letting this happen. He had to believe he’d be given that chance.
The chill of metal against Connor’s arm had his eyes opening. In the driver’s seat, Derek held out a gun to him without comment and he took it gratefully, holstering it beneath his jacket. At the end of the expressway off-ramp, Derek took a hairpin turn and slammed on the brakes just beneath the overpass.
Connor looked upon his worst nightmare.
The white van was parked at the very edge of the water, doors flung open. A man Connor assumed to be the off-duty cop had his gun aimed at Luther. Luther, pointing a gun back at the officer, had his foot propped on the side of a cage, as if he were in the process of shoving it into the water. Erin was inside that cage. Alive, thank Christ. But in a fucking cage.
Rage leached his body of reason. Flashes of light compromised his vision as he threw himself from the van and raised his gun. Don’t look at her. He couldn’t look at her or he would lose it. Her fear would rip him wide open.
The only thing that kept Connor from firing his weapon at that moment was her stepfather’s obvious panic and Erin’s proximity to the water. One wrong move and she would be sinking to the bottom in a tiny prison. Surrounded by pitch black. That image socked him in the gut and it took him a moment to inhale through the denial of such an outcome. The off-duty cop demanded Luther drop his weapon, but had no luck. His foot inched the cage closer to the water.
“Don’t do it. You’ll be dead before she hits the water,” Connor rasped, slowly moving closer, once again fighting the need to reassure Erin. “Or you give us Erin and we give you what you want in return. Seems like a pretty easy choice to me.”
“You must think I’m an idiot, trying to talk me down like an average perp,” Luther sneered. “Don’t insult my intelligence. I’ll never see that money now, so I might as well give her what she has coming.”
Terror turned his blood to ice. Don’t talk about what she deserves, he wanted to shout, but forced himself to keep a level head. “You willing to die for that?”
Beginning to look indecisive, Luther glanced down at the cage and Connor couldn’t help it any longer. He made eye contact with Erin and almost fell to his knees. She was…serene. Like she’d already accepted what was going to happen. There were tears in her eyes, but love crowded them out. Love for him.
When he spoke again, his voice wavered slightly. “The one who wronged you is dead. You’re taking it out on the wrong person. But you can make it right if you just give her back to me now. Get in your car and drive away.”
Everything happened so fast. Too fast. Erin’s stepfath
er’s foot slipped off the cage, edging it closer to the water. Connor, Derek, and the off-duty cop raised their guns, causing Luther to jerk his weapon back up defensively and fire off a round. Connor didn’t wait for any more encouragement, but unloaded his weapon at the same time as Derek.
Just as the cage…and Erin…went flying backward into the water.
“Noooo!”
Ah, fuck.
Erin’s head slammed into the bottom of the cage. Or was it the top? She’d anticipated the bastard trying to send her to a watery grave, but being upside-down and not knowing which direction the surface was hadn’t entered the equation. Her head connecting with the cage had disoriented her, making it twice as bad. Even now, she could hear Connor’s bellow echoing in her skull. Could see his anguished face. She’d tried to calm him, telling him she had everything under control, but he hadn’t been in a very interpretive mood. She didn’t blame him. If someone put him in a cage, she would unleash unholy wrath on whoever had made such a mistake.
After an effort that had left her sweating and the beginnings of quite a few bruises, she’d found a bent nail in the van’s storage rack. It had only taken her seconds to pick the lock, but the van had stopped, her stepfather throwing open the back doors before she could climb out of the cage. Her plan had been to wait for an opportune moment to take him by surprise. Jam the nail into his foot and bust free of the cage while he howled in pain. Then the cop had shown up and forced Luther to draw his gun. No way could she make her move when he held a weapon. When Connor had shown up, it became an even bigger impossibility. She wouldn’t place him in the line of fire for anything in the world.
Beneath her in the water, she heard a splash. No, wait, it had to be above her. She was upside down, which meant the cage door was to her left. Erin felt along the metal crisscrosses and pushed open the door. A moment later, she was through it, but her legs had cramped up from being in the fetal position for so long. Dammit. She swam with her arms and twisted her hips, trying desperately to bring life back into her dead limbs. There it was up above. The surface. She could see a glow of headlights, streetlights lining the expressway above. Blood rushed to her feet, making them prickle, but she welcomed the discomfort and began to kick. How long had she been under the water? Her lungs were starting to burn. Jesus, she needed to breathe. Needed Connor.
Almost there. Almost…
Erin broke the surface and sucked in delicious air.
Once her vision came back into focus with the resurgence of oxygen, she expected to see Derek and Connor at the edge of the concrete drop-off, ready to pull her from the water, but she saw no one. Using her kicking feet, she turned in a circle and saw a male head break the surface of the water before it went back down. In the near-darkness, she couldn’t tell who it was. She kicked toward the rock piling at the edge of the water and waited. Above her, she heard tires squeal to a stop and doors slamming.
“Hey!” she screamed when another head came up. She dragged in long pulls of air to compensate for the scream. “I’m here. Over here.”
Derek. It was Derek. He gave her an incredulous look and started to say something, but a second head surfaced a few yards away. Connor.
“The cage is empty.” His voice was so hoarse, her heart splintered. “Why the fuck is it empty? Could there be more than one down there? I don’t…Jesus, she can’t breathe. I’m going back—”
“Bannon,” Derek shouted. “Turn around. She made it out.”
Connor spun around, hands flying to his drenched head. A choked sound left his mouth when his tortured gaze found her against the rock piling. He swam for her, so fast his muscular arms were a blur of water and flesh. Before she could launch herself halfway across the distance separating them, he was there, pulling her into his arms. “Erin, Erin, Erin,” he chanted into her wet hair. “Oh God. I saw you go under. I saw it and—”
“Your mom,” she interrupted him. “I-is she okay? He told me he had her, that he would kill her. I had to go. I didn’t leave you again. I had to go.”
His breath released on a heavy exhale, head dropping into the crook of her neck. “Ah, sweetheart. She’s fine. I could kill him all over again for making you think that.”
Tears fell from her eyes, fusing with the salt water on her cheeks. “I wasn’t scared. I thought of you and I wasn’t scared.”
“Don’t ever look at me like that again, okay?” He shook her. “Like you know it’s over. Please.”
Erin pushed the wet hair off his face and waited until he focused on her. “I already had the cage beat. That’s what I was trying to tell you.” Connor’s harsh exhale warmed her face. “I know you would have gotten me out. I know.” She gave him a cocky wink. “But I have a reputation to uphold.”
His laugh sounded pained. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.” She kissed him hard. “I just want to go home.”
“Ah, sweetheart. Me, too.” His expression changed, grew more serious. “I’m sorry. I had to…he’s gone. I know you wanted me to do the right thing, but he’s gone. I—”
“No.” Derek’s voice brought them around. He was halfway up the rock piling, looking down at Connor meaningfully. “You never had a weapon, Bannon. I fired the shots.”
Connor shook his head, a frown marring his brow. “I’ll face the consequences of my own actions. I don’t need you to shield me.”
Derek climbed a few more feet and glanced back over his shoulder. “Who’s going to shield me when they find out where you got the weapon?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “A man died on my watch and I’ll own up to it. Frankly, taking credit for this one won’t keep me awake at night.” Erin watched silent communication pass between the two men. Connor’s expression was a struggle between reluctance and gratefulness. Derek’s was firm. “I’ll see you both at work next week. Don’t be late.”
Erin took Connor’s hand and started to follow the captain, but he pulled her back. “Wait until they cover his body up. I don’t ever want you to look at me…and see that.”
“I could never.” She glided back into the water, wrapping her legs around his waist. They both let out a shaky breath when his hands molded to her backside and drew her closer. “I only see one thing when I look at you. I saw it the first day. I see it now. Hope. You made me hope.”
“You don’t have to hope anymore, Erin,” he whispered at her lips. “Hope implies you might not get what you want.” Their tongues mingled in a kiss. “If I’m what you want, hope is futile, because I couldn’t belong to you any more completely than I already do.”
Heart overflowing, she laughed through happy tears. “If that’s a challenge, I accept.”
Epilogue
One month later
Connor bent Erin back over the kitchen counter and swirled his tongue inside the hollow of her neck. She tossed her head on a gasp, pushing her breasts up for his attention. Jesus. What he wouldn’t give to pull the top of her strapless yellow dress down and suck his fill. Of course, he couldn’t, because they were at a fucking barbecue and one of fifty people could walk into the kitchen at any minute.
“Remind me again why we’re out of bed on a Sunday?”
Erin rubbed the arch of her bare foot over the curve of his calf, giving him no choice but to rock his hips against her. She slipped her foot even higher in response, teasing the back of his thigh. “The captain just closed on this house and we’re christening the backyard with grilled meat and beer.”
“Right.” Fuck, she smelled good. “Not a good enough reason for you to be wearing clothes.”
“You either,” she breathed, tugging his head down to fuse their lips together. It only took one slide of her damp mouth for him to deepen the contact with a groan. Getting as close as possible to her was always a requirement. As was his habit, he let his hands wander to the hem of her dress, curling his fingers into the soft material. At this point, he would usually draw it up to her waist to give himself access to the sweet flesh beneath, but he was hindered by thei
r surroundings. He rubbed the hem up and down on the outside of her thighs instead, chafing the skin and making her sag against him as he devoured her mouth.
She still favored her combat boots and crop tops, but two weeks ago, his mother had taken her shopping and created a monster. She’d come home with dresses and high heels and painfully sexy underwear he seriously hoped his mother hadn’t picked out, trying on all of her purchases for him with an enthusiasm that had stolen his ability to speak. Watching her blossom within a friendship with his mother made him so goddam happy, he hadn’t found a way to put it into words just yet. Erin never had to be anything but her beautiful, unique self, and they’d found an unlikely kindred spirit in each other. They’d both encountered difficulties in their past to come out on the other side with their spirits intact.
When Erin started to move against him in that way that signaled the point of no return, he pressed their foreheads together and let her draw oxygen. “You look so innocent in this dress. It’s making me crazy.” Difficult as it was, he forced himself to draw back the desire she stoked in him. It only got stronger by the day. The minute. “We’ll have some fun with that later. Won’t we?”
“I might have my middle name changed to fun.”
Her excited response did nothing to help his cause. His imagination was already running wild with possibilities for when they got home. Erin had not only embraced his tastes in the bedroom, she’d inspired newer, better ones. Just yesterday, he’d come home from the store to find her gone. Before panic could set in, he’d heard a gentle rap on the door. When he pulled it open, Erin stood on their doormat, wringing her hands. My car broke down across the street. Can I use your phone to call a tow truck, mister? He was now convinced she’d missed her calling as an actress, because she’d kept up the ruse so long and so convincingly, he’d been ready to move heaven and earth to fuck her when the time came. She’d ended up facedown on the kitchen floor with her ass in the air, still calling him “mister” as he pounded into her like a madman.