by Kylie Scott
“All right,” he said. “You take my room, I’ll sleep on the couch. At least you won’t have to cover a hotel room.”
“Thanks. But no. I prefer having my own space.”
“Then I want to pay for your room. And for your time working with me.”
“Oh. No.” I drew closer, giving him an awkward smile. “Look, I’m not doing it for the money.”
“I know you’re not. But you’re still getting paid.” His tone left no room for maybe.
We both drank in silence for a moment, just listening to Solomon Burke singing “Cry to Me.” That man knew things about loneliness and pain, relationships and feelings. Maybe I should get all morose and listen to a bunch of sad songs. Probably an effective way of working through the clutter of emotions Joe inspired. Val was right, my knowledge in this area was crap. I could only go by feel, do what seemed right. And while Joe probably deserved a good ass kicking followed by abandonment, that wouldn’t help anyone in the end.
Love or like really did suck.
Joe cleared his throat. “I’m not used to needing someone … to needing help, I mean…”
I kept quiet.
“Sorry for being an asshole to you earlier and not warning you about Star staying with me.”
Huh. “Apology accepted.”
We both took another mouthful of beer, swallowed it down.
“Your friend scares the living shit out of me,” he said.
I choked out a laugh, snorting beer from my nose. Very cool, very lady-like.
The edge of Joe’s mouth curled upward and he passed me a napkin from farther down the bar. I’m pretty sure it was the first time I’d seen him smile, really smile, since the accident. It was almost worth publicly dribbling alcohol out of my nasal passages for. Almost.
“Hey,” said a bright, bubbly voice from behind us. Star in a slinky orange dress, her hair all bundled up on her head with two chopsticks artistically sticking out. “I got to thinking after you left, and … I’m here for you. With the bar, the building work, whatever you need, baby. I want to help too!”
CHAPTER TWENTY
When it came right down to it, getting dirty and being loud with tools didn’t really mix with Star’s vibes. Plus, she had experience bartending and waitressing. As much as I think she’d have liked to keep a closer eye on Joe and me, her being upstairs didn’t make much sense. Especially once Val headed home. Bummer. About Val going, that is; not having Star in my space was a complete win.
So instead, Star took to interrupting us every chance she got. First came coffees. Or coffee. Star accidentally forgot to make one for me. Oops! Next came cake and whipped cream, which she spoon-fed to Joe, apparently so he could work and eat at the same time.
Whatever.
He blushed pretty beneath his beard, but let Star do her thing complete with cooing and Marilyn Monroe smiles. The temptation to barf was huge, let me tell you.
“All finished,” she finally (thank God) said.
“Thanks,” grunted Joe, rubbing at the back of his neck.
“Are you in pain?” Much eyelash batting on her part. “Do you want me to give you another massage like last night?”
I froze. Then went back to painting the wall because it was neither my business nor my problem. Joe and I were just friends. The fucker.
“We don’t have to do it lying down on your bed, you could just sit there for me,” she said. “You’d have to take your shirt off, of course. But I don’t think Alex would mind.”
“Nooo. I don’t mind.” My smile was all sharp teeth.
“Star’s a masseuse,” said Joe.
Of course she fucking is. “Great.”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Why don’t you just pop off your shirt for me?” Star stretched her fingers, warming up her hands. “You know it’ll make you feel good.”
“That’s okay,” said Joe, going back to sealing the kitchen countertop. “We’re pretty busy. Thanks.”
“Later at home, then. I look forward to it.” And with a wink, she was gone. For now.
The main problem with painting aggressively to unleash pent-up emotions is that the bulk of the paint wound up flicking off the brush and onto the painter. I wiped a particularly large dollop off the side of my nose, trying to calm my shit down.
“Nothing’s going on,” said Joe.
“None of my business.”
“Alex—”
“I’m just here to help out until your cast is off.” Because I was an idiot. Also, because I’d said I would and I simply had been born that stubborn. No hippie-handy-hipster would be running me out of town anytime soon. I’d leave when I was good and ready. Like it or not, my hiding days were behind me. At least when it came to Joe Collins.
Still, no wonder Joe suggested I paint, as opposed to letting me near a hammer, screwdriver, or anything else that could easily be used as a weapon. To think, I was normally such a calm and mild-mannered creature. Well, mostly. But turning serial killer on anybody’s ass wasn’t something you’d immediately associate me with. Until Star.
Sighing and pained looks from the man with the beard.
“Really, Joe. It’s fine.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he asked with a touch of anger.
“What?”
He walked over to where I stood, looking down at me with a cranky face. “Do you honestly believe I’m that clueless when it comes to you?”
I just shrugged.
“Just because I’m in no shape or position to sort shit out with us right now does not mean I’m completely ignorant of your feelings, Alex,” he said in a stern voice. “Okay?”
“All right.”
“I know this isn’t easy for you.”
Yeah, no. It might be the only thing on my mind. But it was not the conversation I was interested in. In the aching body/aching heart stakes, things weren’t well with me. And bursting into tears or yelling abusive things at him wouldn’t help. “You’re right, Joe. But I think that’s also a conversation for another time.”
“I need you to trust me.”
“About what? You said we were over.” Just repeating it hurt. “And you told Star nothing about us whatsoever. What exactly is it I’m meant to be trusting you about?”
He did some more of the looming and staring.
“You can’t have it both ways, Joe,” I said. “You can’t distance yourself from me emotionally and then demand that I be open with you. That I trust you.”
“Alex—”
“I know you’re hurting and that there’s nothing I can do about it. I accept that.” I took a deep breath. “But you need to accept that I’m hurting too, and there’s nothing you can do about that right now.”
He swore under his breath.
“So I say we make the best of this situation and get this done, okay? Let’s just work. I’d really like to get this part finished today.” With the brush dripping on the drop sheet, I indicated the outer bathroom wall. Things were coming together fast. At least I could feel a little satisfaction from achieving something.
“Hey,” he said, his gaze softening. “You mean a lot to me. Hell, it’d probably be easier if you didn’t. But I appreciate you having my back through this. I do.”
What the ever-loving fuck was that supposed to mean? That it’d be easier if I was shit on his shoe, something he could scrape off when times got hard? Give me strength. I could have screamed.
After a final unhappy huff, he headed back over to the kitchen counter.
“You’re welcome,” I said. Then with gritted teeth added, “Baby.”
The man stopped cold, looking back over his shoulder.
Splat went my paintbrush against the wall. “Do you like being called that, baby?”
Jaunty happy whistling approached, Andre wandering into the room.
“Things are slow downstairs,” he said. “Thought I’d come up and see if I could help?” He drew to a halt, looking between Joe and me. The smile fell off his face. “Right. You know, I’m goi
ng to come back later. I just remembered something I need to do. Somewhere else. Urgently.”
Andre fled. Fair enough.
“Got some attitude there, Little Miss Fucking Sunshine,” said the bearded one.
“Oh, I think I’m entitled to just a little bit of attitude. Don’t you?”
Head cocked, he looked me over, taking in the paint-splattered jeans and oversize T-shirt. No expression crossed his face, however.
“Maybe even a big bit of an attitude.”
“That so?” he asked, voice a low rumble and a predatory gleam in his eyes.
“It is. Baby.”
“Christ, you drive me crazy,” he growled.
“Ditto.”
He took a step or two toward me, moving straight back into looming over me. Not that I’d ever admit it for feminist reasons, but I kind of liked it when he did that. Made me feel small and helpless in a way. Though it also put me in just the right position to grab his nuts and twist them. Probably not something that ever occurred to him, the poor man.
Poor man, my ass.
“Must be awesome having Star staying with you. All that catching up you two can do,” I said sweetly. “Not to forget the massaging. Full body?”
“Does it matter?”
Wow. His balls were so about to go through the wringer. “Just a little.”
“You’re awful cute when you’re jealous,” he said with a sharp smile.
“Am I now?” My hand grabbed his essentials, giving them a squeeze.
“Shit. Um. Alex?” His face paled a wee bit. “Let’s just take it easy. Calm things down a bit.”
“I’m calm. I’m perfectly calm.”
“I only had my shirt off. Nothing happened.”
“Did you?” Gently, I rolled his balls, massaging them through his jeans. “Tell me the truth, baby. Can I trust you?”
“You can. I swear.”
“You know, I want to believe you, but…” I tightened my grip. “Your history when it comes to being honest with me isn’t the best.”
“Swore I wouldn’t lie to you again and I haven’t.”
“Is that so?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“I could make a hell of a case here for guilt by omission, baby.”
“Nothing is happening with Star,” he said. “But if you were me, would you have told you about the massage? Come on, honestly?”
My fingers dug in, making him suck in a breath and swear.
“It was only therapeutic, I promise. The minute she tried to turn it erotic, I shut her down.” His words came out in an almighty rush. “That’s the whole truth of it.”
Easing up, I turned to rubbing his cock with the base of my palm. A reward, if you like. Almost immediately, he started to harden against my hand. The sick puppy. I think he actually enjoyed having me threaten his manhood in this manner. Then again, I was absolutely loving this, so who was I to talk?
“Do you believe me?” he asked, ever so subtly leaning into my hand and widening his stance.
“Maybe.”
“It’s the truth.”
I shrugged. Like whatever might be happening between his legs left me unaffected. My increasingly damp panties, however, declared that a lie.
“Christ, I thought my dick was dead,” he mumbled, eyelids half closed.
“Hmm?”
“Pretty much all I’ve had since the accident is guilt and pain. Which, let’s be honest, I deserve.”
“Joe.” I stroked his face with my free hand, the beautiful curve of his cheekbone, the smooth skin of his temple. “It wasn’t your fault. You have to let that go.”
Nothing.
“I didn’t see the car either. I should have, but I wasn’t even looking.”
Eyes wide open, he all but growled at me, “You weren’t driving.”
“But I knew you were tired,” I persisted. “I should have been paying attention, helping you. It’s on me too.”
“No.”
“If I’d been sitting in the front instead of Nell, she might still have her baby.”
“Alex, no. That’s not your fault.”
“Because sometimes things just happen.” I placed my hand over his heart, forgetting for the moment where my other one remained. “Joe, you didn’t cause that accident. The idiot thinking it was okay to drive in the middle of the night without any headlights caused that accident. The blown streetlight, which the council hadn’t fixed, caused that accident. Not you.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “Thought you’d said you’d accepted you couldn’t help me with this hurt.”
“I changed my mind.” Also, I was a bit of an idiot when it came to him. Let’s be honest. The still hand on his crotch got back to work, grasping his balls in a firm grip. “Are you listening to me, Joe? Are you taking this in?”
“I’m too afraid not to.”
“Good. Because you blaming yourself is only going to wind up hurting Nell and your family and friends in the long term. How do you think they’re going to feel watching you self-destruct over this?” I asked, keeping his family jewels held tight. “Do you think Eric would be able to deal with that? Watching his brother tear himself to pieces.”
“Okay, okay.” He gripped my wrist. “I’m listening, Little Miss. Ease up just in case I want to have kids someday.”
I did as asked.
“This is the strangest conversation I’ve ever had with a woman’s hands on me.”
“You’re welcome.” I smiled. “I like to think of it as a type of aggressive sex therapy.”
“Do you now?”
Interestingly enough, now that I’d started fondling him through his clothes, I didn’t want to stop.
“It’s scaring me how much I like it.” He leaned down, brushing the tip of his nose against mine.
“Want me to threaten you some more?” I asked, undoing his belt buckle, followed fast by his jeans. Hell yeah, sliding my hand down into his boxer briefs felt like finding heaven. Everything hot and hard and good in this world. Even if he did piss me off sometimes. I wrapped my hand around his cock, giving him a firm stroke.
He groaned. “I’m at your mercy.”
“Damn right you are.” I smiled, reaching up to plant a kiss on his lips. Very nice. “Don’t forget it.”
“Never.”
If only it were true.
His whole body leaned toward me. His focus on what my hand was up to, buried in his pants, complete. Something so good about the feel of a man in this state. The smooth skin leading down to the ridge around the head of his cock, how swollen he felt with my fingers wrapped around him. It got me high, touching him and turning him on more and more. Just being this close to him. His breathing hastened, hands gripping my shoulders like he needed the support. Poor baby.
Slowly, I eased his jeans and underwear down, freeing him. “Alex, someone could come.”
“That’s the idea.”
He chuckled, down and dirty. “I mean, someone could walk in.”
“Yeah, they could.” I sank to my knees, keeping a firm grip on him. A bead of pre-cum sat on the head of his cock, just waiting. Tongue darting out, I dealt with that. Salt, warmth, and masculinity. There was nothing else quite like it. “You want me to stop?”
“Fuck no.” Eyes beautifully dark, he stared down at me, mesmerized.
I took him into my mouth, suckling the tip. His skin against my lips was divine, his big body towering over me, yet completely under my control. Even the smell of him made me wet, all heat and him. Very much up close and personal. I traced the rim of his cockhead with my tongue, exploring, while he mumbled cuss words along with my name. Things got down right blasphemous when I massaged the sweet spot, digging into the dip in the ridge with the tip of my tongue. The boy would be burning in hell at this rate.
Still, he’d told me not to stop. Not that I had any intention of doing so.
Let Star give all the therapeutic massages that she wanted to. Only I had him like this. Or only I bette
r have him like this if he wanted to keep his balls intact. Such soft, sensitive things. I rolled them in one hand, tugging gently to remind him who was the boss right here and now. A dazed grin appeared on his face in response. Kind of hard to smile back with a penis in your mouth, but I tried.
One hand stroked him while the other played with his ball sac; I worked him hard and fast. Despite my brave words, I could do without being caught giving Joe a blowjob by one of his friends. The only sounds were my wet sucking and Joe’s heavy breathing. Again and again, I dragged my firm lips up his cock, tongue swirling over the tip. Hips rocking forward, he eagerly edged closer, making me take him deeper.
“Shit. Sorry,” he panted. “Fuck, that feels good.”
I hummed my approval and apparently, that felt even better. His fingers fisted in my hair, pulling apart my short ponytail. Sucking on him hard, I pushed him closer to the edge. And finally, over it. He came in my mouth with a strangled sort of sound. His pelvis pushing his cock deeper despite his best intentions. Quickly, I swallowed, taking his cum into me. The time for delicate excuses or spitting had passed. Plus, I loved him.
Oh God. No. No, I didn’t.
Sitting back on my heels, I slapped a hand over my mouth. Breathing through a panic attack was hard enough. Breathing through a panic attack while giving a blowjob was even harder.
“Hell. Alex, are you all right?” Joe quickly pulled up his pants, tucking his softening dick out of sight. Then he handed me a bottle of water. I swallowed a good half of it down, stopping only to slump over and give the whole breathing thing another go.
“I should have pulled out,” he said. “I didn’t even ask. Sorry.”
I held up a hand. “It’s fine.”
Poor man probably thought he’d nearly choked me with his cum or something. Which kind of had happened but not in the way he was thinking. My heart hammered, sweat sliding down the side of my face. All good. No problem. I was not in love with Joe Collins. That had just been some strange mental aberration brought on by proximity to his magical, truly talented cock or something. Let’s not get all emotional and start feeling things we shouldn’t be. I’d given the man head, not my heart. Because falling for him would be dumb, stupid, careless, and more.
He already had too much going on in his life right now. Exactly as he’d said.