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by Jaymin Eve
“No more fucking kissing!” Rome roared, shocking Siret’s eyes over to him.
Rome blinked, as though surprised by his own outburst, and the others hissed at him to be quiet. Coen walked over to the bed, checking that I was still asleep, and then they all seemed to settle a little bit, sitting back in their chairs and taking a moment to think.
Eventually, Siret let out a sigh, picking up the conversation again. “So to save future problems, and probably Willa’s life, we need to make a binding pact. The deal was only for one life-cycle. One life-cycle at Blesswood and then we would be able to go home. There’s no reason why we can’t keep her with us, but it can’t go any further. I never thought I’d be fighting with my brothers over a dweller … but there it is. We can’t leave her—we’re going to have to figure out a way to take her with us when we go home, but the only way she can stay with us is if she isn’t tempting us to tear each other apart to get to her. We share her equally. As friends.” He broke off, laughing. “Our friend, the dweller.”
“If I have to be her friend to keep her around, I’ll be her friend,” Rome grunted.
Nobody looked surprised, but I was a little bit shocked. I had been under the impression that Rome had started resenting me for the fact that my soul was trespassing on his soul’s territory.
“I’m already her friend.” Aros rolled his eyes, his expression caught between resignation and annoyance.
“As am I,” Coen added.
“I want to keep her around,” Yael murmured, glancing toward the bed. “She makes me laugh. I can’t tell if she’s stupid or brave. I want to figure it out.”
“We’re in agreement, then.” Siret stood, and so did the others, all taking a step toward each other.
“No kissing,” Rome declared.
“No sex,” Coen corrected, shaking his head.
“No corrupting the little dweller in any way,” Aros countered, his brows inching up in challenge.
“All of the above,” Yael stated. “No kissing, no sex, and no corruption. Nothing that goes past friendship. From now on, we treat her like one of us. A sixth brother. A sixth girl-brother—”
“A sister?” Coen interrupted, his face creasing up in disgust.
“No.” Yael shook his head. “Fuck no. A girl-brother.”
“That sounds like a sister—”
“A girl-brother and that’s final!” Yael snapped.
The others looked at him, some of them in frustration, some in amusement. I noted that none of them seemed shocked. Maybe Yael had a habit of demanding that people believe in contradictory things—what was I saying? He was Persuasion! Of course that was a habit of his.
“Are we in agreement?” Siret wanted to know.
Although more than one expression crossed their faces, not one of them disagreed. In fact, all of them slammed their hands out into the centre of their circle and did some sort of shake. It was fast, I couldn’t quite see what was happening, but it was clear that they had all agreed.
Sweet Topian gods, were they for real?
Those five assholes were standing around making pacts about not kissing me? About treating me like a … like a girl-brother? It was … what the actual freak?
I would never admit it to them, or myself really, but deep down a part of me was hurt. Okay, so yeah, I had just admitted that to myself. I knew I was just a dweller; that fact had been slammed into my head more times than was really necessary. So I knew my place in this world, but the Abcurses didn’t generally treat me according to my place in the world. Not really. Now it seemed they were making this decision without even consulting me. Sure, they had apparently done it to save my life, but it was my life.
Rome spoke, distracting me momentarily. Although ‘spoke’ was a bit of an understatement. His words slammed out into the room like stones smashing into a brick wall. “Elowin needs to be destroyed. As soon as the dweller finds us our information, we can take care of her. It has to be fast, our powers are starting to strain. We’re going to have to cross over again soon, and this time we know that someone will be waiting for us.”
I had no idea what he was talking about with his powers, so I decided to focus on the one thing that I did understand. Their pact: it was pissing me off in a way I hadn’t expected. I fought against being in Siret’s mind. I didn’t want to see anymore; I was too mad. I wanted to wake up and kick all of their asses. I was distracted from my struggle, however, when the door slammed open and a small figure burst into the room.
It was Emmy. Coen was at her side in an instant, and even her unflappable confidence faded under his glare. “Did you figure out where she is?” he asked, his voice a rumble of menace.
She nodded quickly. “Yes, Atti gained entrance to her office. He found her address in Soldel. She apparently put in for some time off and is no longer in Blesswood.”
Coen turned his back on her, dismissing her in one motion. “We need to find her now, and her companions.”
Sounded like Fake Willa was still on the run too. All of them skipped out of Blesswood; they already had this little escape planned. I was afraid they were going to bail then, leaving me behind, but thankfully they hadn’t forgotten about our connection. I was sucked from Siret’s mind the moment Aros put his hands on me.
I shot up in the bed, my heart pounding as I tried to bring my mind back to itself. It was so disorienting being in someone else’s mind, even just for a little while.
“You’re fine, Willa …” The seductive sol started to say, but before he could finish, I had already lunged from the bed, prepared to storm out of the room.
A plan which went badly astray as my legs tangled in the bed sheets and I took a head-first dive into the floor. Or I would have, at least, if Yael hadn’t been there to scoop me up. I wiggled against him, wanting to stay mad, but as always … I just couldn’t. My stupid, co-dependant soul just wanted me to like them. That was my story and I was not budging from it.
“You okay, Willa-toy?” Yael’s moss-green eyes missed nothing as he let me stand on my own feet. “You’re looking flustered, even for you.”
Breathing in and out, wanting to scream and yell, I decided there was no point. They had made their choices, and to some degree, I understood them. I didn’t like that they had decided without me, but I understood that it wasn’t exactly a conversation that we all needed to have together. And the conversation itself made sense, even it if was hurtful. We couldn’t actually get involved romantically. It was impossible because there wasn’t a single one of them that I preferred over the others, which would mean that … well, it would mean that I would be getting involved with all of them. It was taboo enough for a dweller to get involved with a sol in Minatsol in the first place, let alone five of them.
So instead, I just pointed to the front door. “Need to use the bathroom.”
It was the only thing I could think of to get a moment awake to deal with what had happened. In Siret’s head, I had been mainly angry, but now that I’d had a moment to think things through a little more calmly, I found that I was a mix of emotions. None of which I wanted the Abcurses to know about. Thank the gods Emmy was still in the room. She stood near the door and when I got close, she linked her arm through mine.
“She’ll be fine with me,” she declared over her shoulder to the five sols, all of whom were closing in on us. She looked a little bit confused.
Coen shook his head just once, and I knew that there was going to be a fight.
“We can protect her, dweller.” He had that look again. The murder one. “She needs us.”
I was one click away from rushing outside and slamming the door in their faces, but even though he’d declared it in that way, he was still right. I couldn’t separate myself from them.
“I can pee alone, guys. You can wait right outside.”
Coen kicked the door open and stepped out. “Come on,” he said bluntly, striding down the hall in the direction of the bathing chamber.
Emmy and I hurried after him, my
best friend whispering to me as we went. “We aren’t allowed to use their bathing chambers, Willa. We’ll get in trouble; they’ll send us back to our village.”
I snorted, and she shook her head, realising what she’d been saying. “Right, no one is taking you from the Abcurses.” Her voice got even lower. “They’re a little scary, Will. Are you sure—”
Her words were cut off by Coen swinging to the right and opening the door to the bathing chamber. He disappeared inside and by the time we reached the entrance, he was striding back out. “All clear. I’ll be right here.” He glanced down at me, a frown on his face. “Shout out if you need help. Don’t be a hero, dweller-baby.”
I narrowed my eyes until they were surely no more than slits and tried my best to mentally shout every ounce of my annoyance at him. He shocked the hell out of me by slightly tipping his head back and laughing: a deep rocking laughter that sent shock waves of a strong emotion through me. He was beautiful. Perfect. Just like his brothers. And they didn’t want me. A lot of my anger fled then, because I was used to accepting this sort of disappointment. It wasn’t their fault; they had done far more for me than anyone else ever had. I should have known and I should have seen it coming. I needed to be okay with it. I was okay with it.
I forced a smile across my face. It was almost a real one. “I’ll be right out, One, you don’t have to worry about me.”
There was not a trace of laughter on his face when he said in a low voice, “If only it were that simple.” He straightened to his full height of ‘giant’ and gestured to the time-piece around his neck. “You have three clicks before I come in there after you.”
“I might be peeing,” I said in pretend-horror.
Coen nudged me into the room. “I’ll take my chances. Three clicks.”
I knew he wouldn’t let us keep the door closed, but luckily there was a second door past the sinks which meant that I wasn’t actually being watched in the bathroom. Emmy went into the stall next to mine, and both of us had a whispered conversation while we peed.
“Tell me everything that happened while I slept,” I said quickly. “The boys got you to spy for them?”
Her reply came back without hesitation. “How did you … never mind. Yeah, they weren’t really taking no for an answer and they seemed to be dealing with something else. It was pretty easy for Atti to get access to her room. He cleans for the dweller-committee.”
She paused for a brief moment, and I could sense her building up to asking me something big. Finally, she whispered, her voice really muffled on the other side of the wall. “You’re going to leave Blesswood again. Will you come back again this time?”
My heart ached a little at the sadness seeping from her. Our lives were being wrenched apart and there was nothing much that could be done to change that. “I’ll always come back for you, Emmy. You’re my sister.”
Normally this would be the point where we hugged, but being separated by a wall, we just finished up our business before busting out of the stalls. Emmy’s eyes were slightly red-rimmed and misty, but she cleared her throat and changed the subject as we washed our hands. “So, do you like Aros? I mean … you did kiss him. I don’t think the others are going to let you choose, though. They seem to like the dynamic they have going on, and sols aren’t allowed to get involved with dwellers, so an illegal lover would really mess up that dynamic.”
I flinched, the memory of their little pact coming back to me as pain once again slammed into my chest. It felt a little like when our mental link was stretched too thin and my heart was shredding through my ribs.
“Will …” Emmy knew me too well; she could read the sadness. “What happened? What did they do to you?”
I had to tell someone, so I spared a quick glance toward the door. I hadn’t even realised that Coen had closed it until then. I leaned in close and whispered, “They made a pact. A pact to not … want me.”
They didn’t want me.
In hurried words, I told her everything I’d heard during my time in Siret’s head. My best friend listened closely, one hip notched against the sink, her expression remaining calm. I knew our time before someone barged in on us was running out, so I did my best to stay on point.
When I finished up, her calm expression had morphed into something else. It was a look Emmy wore a lot: one I had seen a million times growing up. The one which said she knew something that everyone else didn’t. Since Emmy was a genius, it had happened far too often over the past dozen life-cycles.
When she didn’t speak, I growled at her. “What? Just tell me!”
She straightened, taking both of my hands into hers. “Will, you have this terrible habit of thinking and expecting the worst from everyone. Like you push them away before they can do it to you. I mean … how many friends have you had over the last eighteen life-cycles? Besides me. And I think the only reason you never kicked me out of your life was that I literally had nowhere else to go and you eventually had to get used to me.”
“That’s not true,” I burst out. “I love you.”
Emmy chuckled. “You love me now, but don’t you remember when my mum first died and I moved in with you? You shoved rocks under my side of the bed on the floor for weeks. Not to mention that sleeper incident.”
She was still smiling and I couldn’t help but return it. “Yeah, okay, I was pretty sure that the moment you moved in my mum was going to realise what a terrible, clumsy child I was and that it would be much nicer just to have you as a daughter.”
Emmy surprised me by pulling me into a hard hug. “I knew, and I understood. I was determined to break through that wall you kept around yourself, and it took me forever, but once I did.” Her eyes were definitely misty now. “When you let me in, Willa … it was beautiful. You’re the best friend I could ever imagine having and my life is so much richer with you in it. Before you, there was no laughter in my life. There was no goodness.”
Now I was the one with a thick throat and misty eyes. I swallowed a few times before I managed to speak. “You were … I thought you were going to steal my family from me. But instead you became the only true family I’ve ever had. And as much as I’ve enjoyed our heartfelt moment, I would be a liar if I said I understood what the point of this last conversation has been.”
She threw back her head and laughed, the tinkling sound filling the bathroom. “Will, please … Never change.”
Yeah, that was never going to happen. I had tried. Most of my teachers had tried. It was impossible. I was stuck with my personality, with every negative thing the gods had cursed me with, and none of it was going anywhere. I was going to have to be me for the rest of my life.
“And my point was,” Emmy interrupted my mostly-useless train-of-thought. “You act like the Abcurses are so far above you. That you could offer them nothing and therefore you’re not surprised that they don’t want you. Any one of them would be lucky to be with someone like you, Will, and whatever pact they made, I don’t think it was about you not being good enough. There’s something bigger going on here, something about them we don’t know.”
Before I could push her further or ask about this mystery she thought the Abcurses were hiding, a banging on the outside door had us both jumping.
“Come on, dweller!” Coen shouted. “It’s time to go.”
Emmy stopped me before I could leave, whispering in my ear. “They don’t look at you like you’re nothing. They’re going out now to take on Elowin because she hurt you. They care … maybe try to let them in.”
I closed my eyes briefly, fighting down the emotions, before I opened them again and smiled sadly. “The problem is, I already have let them in.”
They were more in than anyone else had ever been. Even Emmy. They all literally held a piece of my soul in their hands, and it scared me on a primal level that I had never experienced before.
Seventeen
Apparently, we hadn’t moved from the bathroom fast enough because the door slammed opened and Coen was suddenly filling t
he space. His eyes were extra bright as they bore into me, before his gaze dropped slowly to run over me.
“Are you okay, dweller-baby?”
Those low, gravelly words grazed across my skin, igniting it as though my whole body was straining in anticipation of the pleasure-pain that his touch could bring. Emmy nudged me in the back, and when I glimpsed her from my peripherals, she was grinning like a crazy person. I turned to glare at her more fully and she mouthed told you before turning to make her way from the room.
Coen moved aside to let her free, and then there was more than just his giant form filling the area. Siret, Yael, Rome, and Aros pushed inside, each of them taking a moment to inspect me for injury.
I decided right then to not worry so much about their pact. For now, this worked for us, whatever this was, and I wasn’t going to ruin it by thinking too hard about it. They were my kindred souls. The rebels. The rule-breakers. The guys who gave the middle finger to the gods, the same way I had, my whole life. They were the friends I had been born to find, and I wasn’t going to let my annoying feelings push them away.
“So,” I said, smiling at the Abcurses.
Eyes narrowed, brows furrowed, and suspicion crept into their features.
I let out a huff. “What? It’s not like I never smile. I was hoping one of you could fill me in on the plan.”
Yael shook his head, before reaching forward and dropping a stack of clothes at my feet. “We’ll explain on the way. Put some proper clothes on. This isn’t the time for your usual penchant for nudity and those clothes look off, like you tried to mop the floor in them.”
That would have been the bucket of dirty soap water that had been poured all over me—wait, say what now?
I so did not have a penchant for nudity.
It just happened to me. The rest of the asshole-brothers were grinning at Yael. She so does have a penchant for nudity, the looks seemed to say.
How dare they unwittingly counter my thoughts!
I was so riled, I whipped my shirt up over my head and tossed it across the room without any hesitation whatsoever. My bra was next as I flicked it free, shorts and underwear following soon after. Well, kind of. I got them to my ankles and then as I tried to kick them free, I tripped over backwards, clipping the edge of one of the sinks and landing flat on my face. My shriek would have been loud and piercing, if it hadn’t been muffled by the shirt I’d landed on. The one I’d just flung off my body. Like a stubborn idiot with a penchant for nudity.