Which made for a very bucolic life at Canterbury after that. With their days of tricks seemingly over, Nathalie and Elise were turning into proper young women as their married elder sister doted on her husband. Even now, Emilie bustled around their chamber, the one she used to share with Nathalie, to help David as he finished packing.
More missives had come to Canterbury over the past few days, missives from Christopher stating that Dustin had been abducted by Prince John and that the man was holed up with her at Nottingham Castle. Christopher had stated that he was heading in that direction to reclaim his wife but there was still mention of Somerhill Castle, Marcus Burton’s seat.
The missives had been conflicting and confusing for the most part, feeding David’s sense of urgency to ride to his brother’s aid. His destination was still Somerhill. So Emilie sat on the bed and watched David finish up with his packing, feeling his urgency and determination. This time, she strangely didn’t mind him leaving her. It seemed to be a habit with him, as Brickley had once said, but it also seemed to be a habit for him to return to her. She knew in her heart that David would always return to her, no matter what, and it wasn’t even the marriage or her pregnancy that fed that opinion. It was the character of the man himself.
The man she had finally married.
“Is there anything more to take with you?” she asked. “I had the cook pack food for you, so you should be well stocked on things to take with you on your travels. Am I missing anything?”
He shook his head. “I do not think so,” he said, looking over the contents of his saddlebags, which also contained all of the missives he had received. “I think I have everything.”
Emilie, too, looked at the things he intended to take. “Do not forget your rain cloak,” she said. “The weather is turning colder now. The rains will come soon and if you are gone into winter, you must contend with the snow.”
He began to seal up his saddlebags. “I will not be gone into winter,” he said. “I am not entirely sure what is going on, given the missives I’ve received as of late, but all indications are that John has abducted Dustin and Chris is riding to retrieve her. I cannot imagine such a task taking too long, so I would expect to be back well before the snows come.”
Emilie watched his handsome face as he finished off with his saddlebags. “I wonder how he was able to abduct her?” she asked softly. “Did you not say that she had gone with Marcus Burton to Somerhill? Surely the man would have protected her against such things.”
David could only shrug. “I cannot imagine how the prince was able to gain control of her,” he said. “But I am sure I will find out.”
Emilie put her hand on his arm. “You will be careful,” she said. “I would have my son know his father.”
He smiled, kissing her on the cheek. “He will,” he said. “You needn’t worry. It is my suspicion that the army marching on Nottingham is one of the biggest England has ever seen. It will make laying siege a simple thing.”
“How many Canterbury men are you taking with you?”
“About three hundred.”
There wasn’t much more to say to that. David was packed and Emilie had her information, information that would sustain her until he returned. She was trying not to show her sadness in his departure.
“So you will leave me once again,” she teased, watching him grin sheepishly. “It seems all you ever do is leave me.”
He leaned forward, kissing her on the lips. “And all I ever do is come back to you, too,” he said. “I am sorry to leave again, Emilie, truly, but….”
She cut him off. “Do not be ridiculous,” she scolded lightly. “Your brother has returned from the dead and now you must help him reclaim his wife. Of course you must go; I insist that you do. It is your duty.”
He nodded, slinging the saddlebags over one broad shoulder. “It is,” he said, his warm gaze lingering on her. “But so are you. How are you feeling today?”
Emilie shrugged. “Well enough, I suppose,” she said. “I have had some odd pains in my groin and back for the past few days but Lillibet said that is normal in pregnancy to have a few aches and pains, especially at the beginning.”
“And how would she know? She has never had children.”
Emilie lowered her voice. “I am not so sure that is true,” she said. “I have never told you this before, mostly because it has been such a normal thing in our family that it has not yet crossed my mind to tell you, but my father and Lillibet are lovers.”
David looked at her, shocked. “They are?”
Emilie nodded. “You have not noticed?”
David shook his head, wide-eyed. “I haven’t,” he admitted. “How long as this been going on?”
“Since my mother passed away,” she said. “It has been a very long time. Papa thinks that we do not know, but we do.”
David chuckled at the mental picture of Lyle bedding the buxom nurse that sprayed spit like a fountain when she spoke. “How do you know?” he asked.
Emilie gave him a rather reproachful look. “Because we have all lived together for a very long time,” she said. “When Lillibet would think we were asleep, she would sneak into Papa’s chamber. We have seen her. And then we would hear Papa panting, as if he was breathless, so we knew that something was going on.”
David laughed again. “If that is true, then I applaud the man for seeing to his needs for all of these years, conveniently, with his children’s nurse,” he said. “But why do you say that Lillibet knows about pregnancy?”
Emilie’s tone dropped even more, fearful that her sisters or Lillibet herself might be close enough to hear her. The keep was a close, small place at times, even with the thick walls.
“Because many years ago she put on weight and then she left us, saying that she had to go and visit family,” she said. “I was mayhap five years of age, Nathalie was three, and Elise was still a baby, but I remember because I was quite traumatized when she left. I had just lost my mother, you see, and I was fearful in general of people leaving me. When Lillibet returned a few months later, she was much thinner than when she left. It did not occur to me at the time but in thinking back, I think she had a child.”
David shrugged. “If she did, where is it?”
Emilie shook her head. “I do not know,” she said. “Mayhap she left it with her family or mayhap it died. I have not asked her because it is not my business. But I will admit that I have wondered.”
David shook his head at the secrets from the family he had married in to. It wasn’t unusual for a man to have illegitimate children, but he seriously wondered that if, indeed, Lyle had a child, why he had not let it grow up with the rest of his children.
But he put those thoughts out of his mind, for they weren’t anything to linger on unless, in the years to come, some young man came forth and claimed to be the heir to the Canterbury earldom. David would deal with that if, and when, the time every came. At the moment, he had family issues of his own to deal with that would take all of his attention.
“Well,” he grunted as he heaved up his scabbard and broadsword from its’ peg on the wall. “I suppose someday all secrets shall come out and you shall know. Until then, will you go with me down to the stables? I must see to my horse and I do not want to spend any more time away from you than I have to.”
Emilie was more than happy to accompany him but as she stood up, the pain in her groin and back increased to the point where she actually had to rub at her belly to try and ease the ache. David saw her rubbing.
“Are you well?” he asked, concerned.
Emilie nodded although something just didn’t feel right to her. The pains were very achy, radiating down her legs a bit. “Aye,” she assured him. “Just the aches and pain of a pregnant woman.”
He smiled at her. “A beautiful woman,” he corrected. “If you’d rather stay here and rest, I will return as soon as I can.”
Emilie shook her head. “Nay,” she said firmly. “You will be gone for an unknown length of time.
I will be spending enough time alone while you are away.”
David didn’t argue with her. He led her from their chamber and took her down to the stables were there were several horses being prepared for the march northward, and the three hundred men to accompany David were in the ward being supplied and outfitted by their sergeants and the quartermaster. It was all quite busy as David and Emilie passed by the men, heading to the stables. Cid and Roland came out of nowhere, rushing Emilie with their big, happy bodies, and David was forced to push the dogs aside so they wouldn’t bowl her over. Just as they reached the mouth of the stable, Lyle appeared.
He wrestled back Cid and snapped at Roland when the dog wouldn’t listen. “Sorry, Emilie,” he said. “They are spending the day with me because Nathalie and Elise are too busy for them. I fear I cannot control them as you and your sisters do.”
Emilie grinned, petting Roland’s big head. “Not to worry,” she said, kissing the dog on the head. “Do you want me to take them back inside, Papa?”
Lyle nodded gratefully. “Do you mind?”
Emilie shook her head but David stopped her. “Wait,” he said. “Those dogs are big enough to run you down. Let me take them back.”
Emilie laughed as Lyle spoke. “Let her do it, please,” he said. “I have a need to speak with you before you go, David.”
David wasn’t happy but he allowed his wife to lead the dogs back to the keep so long as she didn’t try to wrestle with them or manhandle them. Those were his terms because he didn’t want her to somehow be hurt, and Emilie agreed. As she called the dogs and headed for the keep with the big black mutts trailing her, David turned to Lyle.
“What is your wish, my lord?” he said. “How may I be of service?”
Lyle cleared his throat softly, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “Walk with me for a moment. I have something to tell you.”
David followed and they proceeded to move away from the stables and the gathering men. They were heading towards the gatehouse and David was increasingly curious about the subject at hand, since it seemed to have Lyle slightly uneasy. They were nearing the gatehouse and Lyle looked up to the wall, searching for something. He finally came to a halt and pointed.
“Do you see that young soldier up there?” he said.
David looked at what he was pointing at. “I think so,” he said, peering up to the parapet near the gatehouse. “That is Nathalie’s friend. I think his name is Payn.”
Lyle cleared his throat again. He was having difficulty looking David in the eye, it seemed. “Aye,” he muttered. “His name is Payn. David, it is not easy to speak of this but I must. You must not tell anyone.”
“You have my oath.”
Lyle eyed the young man on the wall. “That young soldier is my son,” he muttered. “He does not know it. He is the result of liaison between myself and another woman, and he has been living with an elderly farm couple on the edge of the village since birth. I told Brickley to retrieve the boy when he was recruiting reinforcements for my army last spring, but I did not tell Brickley who he was. All was well and good until Nathalie decided to befriend him and I fear… I fear her friendship for him may turn into something else. You know that she has romantic inclinations for nearly every man she meets. Therefore, I want you to take him with you when you leave. I would consider it a favor if you would make him your squire. Train him. He is the son of an earl and due such consideration. But, most of all, get him away from Nathalie before she does something we will all regret.”
David kept himself quite neutral as Lyle spoke, but inside, he was quite shocked. It was so strange that he and Emilie had been speaking on this exact same subject not a few minutes earlier, so Lyle’s confession was quite coincidental. Providence, even. David looked up on the battlements to where the tall young man stood, looking out to the countryside beyond.
“He is a fine boy, my lord,” he said. “Who is his mother?”
“That is not important.”
“Is it Lillibet?”
Lyle looked at him, stunned. He didn’t respond right away, perhaps debating just how to answer, but it was clear that he seemed unable to put up a good denial. He finally shook his head, reconciled to the inevitable.
“How… how did you know that?” he asked quietly.
David smiled faintly. “Call it a hunch,” he said, holding up a hand when Lyle tried to press him. “It does not matter how I knew, truly. It was really just a guess. Does Lillibet know the boy is hers?”
Lyle shook his head. “I have not told her he is here,” he said reluctantly. “She does not ask of him and she does not ask of my business. If I want her to know, I will tell her.”
David thought of his own son whom Emilie was carrying. “That is your decision, of course,” he said. “But she is his mother, after all. It would be the right thing to tell her.”
Lyle simply shrugged, feeling unsettled by the conversation. The illegitimate son had always been an awkward point with him, fathered with his children’s nurse, and he had tried to hide the boy away as if hiding an unsavory secret. But the truth was that he had been thrilled to see his son when Brickley had brought the boy back those months ago. Lyle thought the lad looked just like his father.
In any case, he still wasn’t sure how he felt about revealing his weaknesses and shortcoming and admitting he’d fathered a bastard with a woman who was nothing more to him than a concubine. Still, he could see David’s point.
“Mayhap I will at some point,” he said. “But for now, take the lad with you and train him. I would consider it a personal favor.”
David simply nodded and whistled to the nearest soldier, who came on the run. He sent the man up to the wall to send the young man to him as Lyle, still nervous and unsure to be around the lad, made himself scarce.
As David became acquainted with young Payn, who happened to have Emilie’s eyes, up in the keep, Emilie was dealing with something quite devastating.
The end of a dream.
*
By the time Emilie reached the keep with the dogs, the pain in her belly, back, and legs was intense. As the dogs ran into the smaller hall to sniff the floor for scraps, she went up to the chamber she shared with David and pulled the chamber pot out from under the bed. She felt as if she had to piss and she lifted her skirts and squatted over it, relieving herself.
But it was more than piss that went into that pot. Emilie could see a great deal of blood in it, too, with dark clots. Terrified, she put a cloth over the pot and went to find Lillibet, who was sitting in the next room with Elise, sewing on a garment of some kind. Emilie stuck her head into the room, motioning to Lillibet to come to her.
It was a rather secretive gesture and Lillibet complied, her plain features twisted in confusion. She came to Emilie where the woman stood at the door but then Emilie pulled her through, into the chamber she shared with David, and shut the door. Once the door was shut, Emilie pressed her hand to her belly and lowered herself onto the bed.
“Look,” she pointed to the chamber pot. “In there. Something is terribly wrong.”
Lillibet went to the pot and uncovered it, faced with the sight of blood. Quickly, she turned to Emilie. “How are you feeling?” she demanded, spit flying from her lips. “Are you in pain?”
Emilie nodded, her face pale and her expression miserable. “I have some pain,” she said. “My belly and back ache a good deal.”
Lillibet looked at her with sorrow. Covering up the chamber pot, she pushed Emilie back on the bed. “Lay, child,” she said. “You must lay down.”
With fear in her expression, Emilie looked up at the woman. “Why?” she asked. “What is wrong?”
Lillibet sat down beside her, taking her hand. “This happens sometimes,” she said as Emilie wiped spraying spit off of her arm. “I will send for the physic. He will know what to do.”
Emilie was puzzled. “What has happened?” she demanded. “You said that pains were part of childbearing. Why is there blood?”
Lil
libet shook her head sadly. “Because I suspect your child is no more,” she said. “We will send for the physic and he will tell us.”
Emilie stared at the woman for a moment before her eyes started to well with tears. “My… my son is gone?”
“He is.”
“Are you sure?”
Lillibet glanced over at the chamber pot. “I believe so,” she said. “You are not meant to bleed when you are with child. The loss of blood means the loss of the child.”
Emilie’s face crumpled and she put a hand over her face, covering her tears. “It cannot be,” she whispered tightly. “I do not believe it!”
Lillibet patted her shoulder. “Do not despair,” she said soothingly. “I know it seems terrible, but it is God’s will that this should happen. It was not meant to be. There will be more children for you, Emilie. Take heart, sweetling.”
Emilie began to sob softly as Lillibet bent over and tried to hug her, trying to give her some comfort. But in this case, there was no comfort to be had. The swift and shocking loss of the pregnancy had both women reeling but in Lillibet’s opinion, there was no doubt what had happened. God’s will would be done.
Quietly, Lillibet rose and went to the wardrobe where all manner of personal products was kept. Among those were linen pads with moss stuffing for a monthly cycle, with ties that would go about the waist to keep the pad in place. Lillibet simply handed the pad to Emilie and turned her back for a moment, for Emilie knew what to do with it. She didn’t want to bleed all over the bed.
The mood of the chamber was quite sorrowful with Emilie’s soft sniffing filling the air. While she was taking care of personal matters, seeing more blood and mourning her loss, Lillibet took the chamber pot and put it away, beneath the wardrobe, for the physic to inspect to see if the child was in those dark blood clots. When she turned around, Emilie was back on the bed, laying down, her hand at her belly as if to comfort herself for the emptiness now inside her. It was a rather sad sight to see.
“Are you in terrible pain, Em?” Lillibet asked softly.