by Namita Singh
whole mental connection and all.”
I chuckle.
“So…It was quite a big surprise when we learned of us being partners. He had matured before me…so he was the first to know that we are partners, since my aura started attracting him. I still remember,” Ethan gets a faraway look as he gazes at the ocean in the distance, “He had started acting weirdly around me and wouldn’t tell me what’s wrong. But he wouldn’t leave my side either, no matter how much I lashed at him for being secretive.” He chuckles, “I couldn’t understand. His demeanor was reluctant around me. I kept thinking that why is he even hanging out with me if he is not comfortable for whatever reason?” He sighs, “I understood six months later why he was still sticking by my side, even unwillingly. I matured and I sensed him. I confronted him about it. I have never seen Vincent get that red, he was so embarrassed.”
“He should have just told you.” I say, frowning.
“Well…why don’t you go and tell your partner too?” he challenges back.
“My case is different.” I say, immediately getting in the defensive mode, “Firstly, my partner is not even a therian and secondly, he and I are not exactly friends.” Ethan opens his mouth to say something, but I hastily cut him off, “But the way you tell me, you and your partner are the closest to each other. So, he should have told you. Especially knowing that you’ll know sooner or later.”
“It’s not that easy.” Ethan shakes his head, “Vince is very…shy. Though he’ll kill me if he hears me saying this,” he mutters the last part, “But Vince is not the type to tell his feelings without a little push. And I have always provided him with that push. He talks the most with me but is practically mute with others. So, when he needed to discuss ‘me’ as his partner he had practically no one to go to. And he was too…” Ethan trails off, then suspires abruptly, “I can’t explain to you, alright, Josh? I’ll just let you know that I understand Vince’s reluctance in telling me about us being partners.”
I nod at him to continue. It’s alright if he doesn’t want to share too personal details. And he is partially right. Some things are so personal to you that you just cannot express those feelings in words.
“So,” Ethan continues, “After noticing his obvious discomfort at his best friend being his partner, I decided to ease his conscience. I proposed the theory you’re willing to try with your partner. That we remain together as friends. Vince agreed, actually a little pleased,” Ethan rolls his eyes, “and that was that. We were twenty at the time.”
“Hmm?”
“College continued, Vince and I moved in together. It was all dandy. We had our share of awkward moments…I mean, we are guys and no matter how close we are, it’s still a little awkward to be mawkish with your best friend. And the attraction between us just made us be more sentimental towards each other.”
“But it was working out fine?” I ask, my tone careful.
“Yes.” Ethan said, turning his face and smiling widely at me, “And it would have continued to be perfectly fine if two things hadn’t struck us hard in the face.”
I take a deep breath. Here comes the finale, “What two things?”
“Well,” Ethan says, his face looking slightly exasperated as he reminisced his past, “Our ‘perfect’ arrangement promises to remain perfect only if it comes with a compulsory addition of celibacy.”
“…Oh.”
“Since we accorded to remain friends and Vince considered us to be heterosexuals, he thought it wise to engage with other women to satiate the sexual needs.”
“And?”
“And he started to date this girl from our college. I was not happy when he suggested that we be sexually involved with other women. Simply because I felt no inclination towards any woman. And complicatedly because I didn’t like the idea of Vince sleeping with anyone at all.”
“So…you were jealous.”
Ethan frowns, “Maybe. In vague terms, yeah. I certainly flipped out when he started dating that girl.”
“Flipped out?” I ask, expecting him to elaborate.
“Yeah, I expressed my dislike. We had a huge fight. He kept saying that we had an agreement to remain friends and that I seemed pretty fine when he had suggested that we sleep with other women.” Ethan rolls his eyes again, “I told him I don’t like it. Because I was sure that if I don’t discourage his sexual engagements at that time, he’ll probably suggest marrying separate women later onand no way in hell would I have been able to tolerate that. His dating excursions with that single woman had me on edge during several weeks. I just couldn’t tolerate him getting inclined towards someone else.”
The way Ethan’s frown deepens and the way he’ll start gazing unseeingly ahead, I can make out that these memories are not his favorite.
“Wasn’t he…?” I trail off, expecting Ethan to understand my question.
“Vincent? He would have felt the same.” Ethan answers, “But I didn’t make any effort to date a girl, so no history of him flipping out on me.”
“No.” I say, “I mean, was he fine with being with that girl?”
“Oh…No.” He replies, scoffing, “He also felt no particular attraction towards anybody else, girl or boy. But he thought we wouldn’t know till we don’t try. He believed that apparently having sex one time with a girl would explain to him if he can carry it on or not.” He says in a sarcastic tone.
“And he realized that he can’t carry it on?” I guess.
Ethan chuckles, “Actually, he couldn’t even do it the first time.” He smiles happily, making me feel slightly awkward. Ethan goes on unaware of the effect his cheesy happiness is having on me. “We didn’t talk for a week. I was angry for obvious reasons. He apologized a week later and told me he didn’t do it…and also expressed that he may not be able to do it in future as well.”
“Okay…and,” I rub my right cheek, feeling my cheeks getting warm as the question stills at the tip of my tongue.
“Hmm?” Ethan encouraged me to speak.
“Uh, so…you guys started romancing after that?” I say, not looking at him.
Ethan starts laughing. I have no option but to look at him as he controls his fits of laughter, his face reddening.
“Actually,” he says with a chuckle, his laughter getting replaced with a little sobriety, “that is where the second of the two things came.”
“Huh?”
“Two things. I told you there were two things that didn’t set well with our routine of remaining together as friends.”
“Oh, yeah. Not able to be celibate was first. And second…?”
“Was the urge to be physically closer to your partner.”
“Uh…” I start awkwardly, “What?”
“Have you ever touched your partner? A simple of shake of hands…? Or even a slight brush of his arm…?” Ethan asks, his inquisitive gaze settling on me.
I frown, recalling my short encounters with Neal. Now that I think of it…I actually have never touched him in any way. Not even a shake of hand, not even while passing the basketball to each other today. I feel a little disturbed to know that touching him, even as a simple handshake, seems a big deal to me now.
“No.” I mumble.
“So, you probably don’t know how that feels.”
“Does it…um, it feels different?” I mutter,“Nobody in the house told me that it feels different.”
“Therians don’t usually like to discuss what their partners are capable of making them feel. It’s too personal a thing. So don’t look so disappointed on not knowing about it.”
I frown, “And you don’t have a problem in telling me so?” I say suspiciously.
Ethan smiles, “It sort of comes with my job description. Seriously, Josh, council members have no personal lives. But we’re diverting from the main topic.” He takes in a deep breath, “So, tell me…Have you been in your partner’s vicinity? Talked to him one on one?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“So…how does his aura feel?”
&n
bsp; “Um,” I feel my ears getting warm again, “It’s…pleasing, obviously.”
“Have you noticed that the closer you are to him, his aura seems more pleasing?”
I thought of all the times I have been with Neal, recalling the way his aura would completely swallow my senses. The simple aesthetical appeal the aura holds when I am approaching it but completely overwhelming when I am near him.
“Yeah. It definitely does get prominent with decreasing distance.” I express my observation.
“Now imagine that prominence enhanced fifty folds, or maybe even more. That’s how good it feels upon touch.”
“…Oh.”
“The aura exuding from the body usually gets diluted as it spreads in the space around that body. But if you’re touching that body, the energy waves enter you instantly without dilution. Much like a potent dose, you know. Sensing that undiluted form of your partner’s aura is incredibly pleasant. It can actually make you feel the disposition of your partner’s aura.”
“Okay. I get it.”
“So…” Ethan continues, “It wasn’t long before both of us, Vince and I, became desirous of being physically close. He was most embarrassed when he’ll get up in the morning, finding himself cuddled with me.”
I think I might explode with the warmness I feel on whole of my face. Ethan, again, seems oblivious to my abashed state. He really should notice it. I don’t want to hear the details of his personal life with Vincent.
“So, the romancing began.” I say, looking away.
“Yes. It was awkward at first. Especially for Vince. I didn’t