“A giant,” he said simply.
“What?”
“He’s one of the heroes of the world. I’ve always believed the world is gifted with a small number of heroes in every generation. Men who are capable of tremendous acts of self-sacrifice. Men who have the strength and boldness to take life by the horns and conquer it. Ruel is a hero. But he refuses to accept his fate.”
She chuckled. “And are you also a hero?”
“Oh, no, I’m very boring. I just plod along, doing my duty and trying to live a good life.”
“I don’t believe that’s boring,” she said gently.
“You’re very kind.” He grimaced. “But I’m a dull fellow. It’s a wonder Margaret even looked at me.”
“Margaret?”
“Margaret MacDonald. We’re affianced.” “Then she’s very fortunate.”
“I’m the one who is fortunate.” His smile made his homely face almost handsome. “As you’d know if you met her. She’s a remarkable lass. I told Ruel you reminded me a little of my Margaret.”
“Me?” She looked at him in astonishment before shaking her head. “No, I couldn’t be like her.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not …” She waved a hand at the station house. “Because you’re a lord and she’s probably like them.”
“In what way?”
“I don’t know.” She thought about it. “Gowns with bustles and lace at her throat … soft hands. She wouldn’t like me. I’m different.”
He burst out laughing. “That’s not Margaret. And God made us all different. You mustn’t be ashamed of what you are.”
“I’m not ashamed.” She could see he didn’t understand. “I’m proud of what I am. None of those women could do what I do and not many men either. It’s just wiser not to force myself in where I’m not wanted.”
“Because you meet cruelty and intolerance when you do?” he asked quietly.
She nodded jerkily. “And your Margaret would be the same.”
“You’re wrong. Ask Ruel. Ruel was always considered an outcast, and she never treated him with anything but fairness.”
“Why was Ruel—” No, she didn’t want to know any more about Ruel than she did already. She had spent an uneasy night after he had left her yesterday evening, and he was occupying far too much of her thoughts. She smiled with an effort. “Then I must be wrong and your Margaret everything you say she is.” They had arrived at the supply yard and she pulled out her key ring. “Thank you for accompanying me. I won’t keep you any longer. I know you want to get back to the other guests.”
“It was my pleasure. I find your ‘difference’ far more interesting than their ‘sameness.’”
Warmth surged through her as she realized there was no mockery in his tone. He was not like Ruel, whose every word must be examined and weighed for hidden meaning. “You have unusual tastes.” She unlocked the gate. “I’m sure you—”
“Do you always keep your supply yard locked?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” he asked curiously. “I wouldn’t think anyone would dare steal anything from a project for the maharajah.”
She quickly glanced away. “I suppose I became accustomed to guarding our supplies in England.”
“I see.” He bowed slightly. “Well, I’m sure you do it very well. Margaret believes in guarding her own too.”
She gave him a tentative smile as she opened the gate and strode swiftly into the supply yard.
“You’re right, she doesn’t lie well,” Ian said slowly.
Ruel shot him a glance as he turned away from the washstand. “Something happened today at the station?”
“Not exactly.”
“Ian.”
“She feels very much alone, you know.” “We’re all alone.”
“She thinks she’s different from other women.” “She is different.”
“No … I believe she’s been hurt a good deal.”
“Are you going to tell me what happened today?”
Ian didn’t answer for a moment, and then said reluctantly, “The supply yard. She keeps it locked at all times and I don’t think it’s because of thieves.”
“You think Kartauk—”
“I didn’t say that. She just seemed uncomfortable when I mentioned her locking the gate.” He grimaced. “I didn’t want to tell you. I feel as if I’ve betrayed her.”
Ruel frowned thoughtfully. “Kartauk can’t be there. It would be taking too much risk when rails have to be moved from the yard to the site every few days.”
“Good,” Ian said, relieved. “Then I must be wrong.”
“Perhaps. Watch the yard for a few evenings to make sure.”
“I’m not comfortable with this, Ruel.”
“I know.” Ruel smiled. “You’re afraid your soul is going to be damned to perdition.”
He shook his head. “I’m afraid I’m going to hurt the lass.”
Ruel’s smile faded. “We’re not going to hurt her, only find Kartauk.”
“It may be the same thing.”
He stripped off his shirt. “Get out of here. I have to get some sleep.”
Ian rose to his feet with a sigh. “I’ll watch the yard, but I hope I’m wrong.” He moved toward the door. “And I believe you do too.”
“The hell I do.”
Ian smiled and left the room.
Ruel muttered a curse as he stared at the closed door. He wouldn’t give up searching for Kartauk because of some idiotic twinges of conscience, nor would it stop him from taking what he wanted from Jane. Christ, if he’d had any sense, he would have eased this blasted lust in the railway car yesterday. He couldn’t go on like this much longer, heavy and hurting whenever he was with her.
Why the hell shouldn’t he take what he wanted? He was no saint like Ian. Dammit, he was through waiting and biding his time.
“Where are the rails?” Jane demanded of Patrick when he walked into the bungalow that evening.
“I think the maharajah was pleased, don’t you?” Patrick strolled over to the cabinet and poured himself a drink. “He was preening like a peacock over those brass lanterns.”
“The rails were supposed to be delivered with the locomotive. Where are they?”
“I had to delay the shipment until I could arrange another loan from the bank.” He took a long drink. “God, it was hot out there in the sun.”
“I need those rails.”
“And we’ll get them. In three days. I took care of everything.”
“I thought you told me the bank wouldn’t give us any more credit.”
He scowled. “I told you, I took care of it. Now, go see if that lazy Sula’s bothered to make us any dinner.”
He wanted to put an end to her questions, but she couldn’t permit it this time. “We’ll be at Lanpur Gorge in a week. I’ll need those rails.”
“You’ll have them.” He dropped down on the easy chair and closed his eyes. “Trust me.”
She had no choice. She would have to trust him, she realized with frustration. “I’ll tell Sula we’re ready to eat.”
She turned and walked away from him. God in heaven, sometimes she didn’t think she could go on. She was weary of fighting these constant battles with Patrick and the maharajah, and now Ruel MacClaren had appeared on the scene to disturb and perplex her. She quickly shied away from the thought of Ruel. She had enough problems without remembering the expression on his face as he had looked up at that blasted painting.
She noticed a subtle difference in Ruel at the site the next day. He scarcely looked at her and betrayed no hint of the sensuality he had exhibited in the railway car, and yet there was something …
The first time he spoke was when they were walking back to their horses at sundown. “You’ve been nervous all day. Would you like to tell me why?”
“I’m not nervous. I just have work to do. You may have time to indulge your whims, but this railroad is no joke to me.”
“Stop attacking a
nd tell me what’s wrong. I may be able to help.”
“You can’t help.”
“How do you know? I’m a very resourceful fellow. I find answers to most questions.”
She whirled on him. “Can you stop the monsoons from starting next week?” she asked fiercely. “Can you find me a hundred workers willing to work free? Can you keep the maharajah from plaguing me with demands to get the blasted railroad completed? Can you—”
“No, I can’t do any of those things,” he broke in. “And neither can you, so why not accept it and tell the maharajah he’s not going to have his railroad completed on time?”
“Because he won’t pay us, dammit.” She smiled bitterly. “He, too, indulges in whims. If we don’t perform to his satisfaction, he could ruin us.”
“Don’t you have a contract?”
She nodded. “But it’s not worth anything in Kasanpore. We’re helpless to enforce any contract against the maharajah.”
“Then why did you take the job?”
“Patrick thought it was—” She untied the mare and mounted. “Why should I bother to answer your questions? You don’t care about my problems. I don’t even know why you come back here every day.”
“Do you really want to know why I labor so devotedly at your side?”
“I’ve asked you often enough.”
“I’ll give you one reason.” He paused and then said deliberately, “I plan on trying that position we saw in the painting in the railway car with you.”
Her gaze flew to his face. His expression was impassive, his tone so casual she wasn’t sure she had heard correctly. “What?”
“Oh, yes, it’s become something of an obsession with me in the past few days. I think about it all the time. How I’d position you on your hands and knees, how I’d cup your breasts in my hands. How I’d slowly slide in and feel you tighten around me.” His voice hoarsened. “How I’d start easy and then push harder, deeper, how I’d make you scream when I—”
“Stop! I don’t want to hear this,” she interrupted, moistening her lips. “Go back to Zabrie if you need a woman.”
“I don’t want a woman.” He paused. “I want you.” “One woman is as good as another for what you want.”
“That’s what I used to think. I’ve changed my mind.”
“Well, change it back again. I don’t want … that.”
“I could make you want it. I believe you discovered at Zabrie’s that we were very compatible.” His gaze suddenly shifted to her face. “Perhaps too compatible. Did I frighten you?”
“You?” She tried to make her tone scoffing. “You’ve never frightened me.”
“Perhaps not in the usual way, but then, you’re not the usual woman. You’re used to your independence. Are you afraid you might not be able to control me?”
“I don’t think about you at all. I don’t have time for wondering about such foolishness.”
“We often respond without thinking in this kind of situation.”
“Not you. You’re always thinking and plotting and planning.” She added grimly, “And you have the arrogance to believe you know everything about me.”
“Not everything. I find out new things every day. I’ve also discovered the longer I study you, the more disturbed I’m becoming. That’s why I’ve finally decided I have to do something about it.” He smiled recklessly. “Shall I tell you what?”
“I thought you’d already told me.”
“Oh, that’s only the beginning.”
“Zabrie,” she said desperately.
“Jane,” he said softly. “Only Jane.”
“You’re not listening to me.” Her hands clenched on the reins. “I want you to go away. I should never have let you start work on the line to begin with.”
“Why did you?”
“You were amusing.” Having Ruel near had been more than amusing. It had been like staring in fascination into the glittering depths of a magician’s crystal ball waiting breathlessly to see what new vision would appear. She felt an odd wrenching pang at the knowledge that that excitement was about to end. She would get over it, she quickly assured herself. The emotion he made her feel was too intense, the fascination too dangerous.
“I won’t be used by you, Ruel.”
“Yes, you will. We’re going to use each other and enjoy every minute of it.” He saw her start to protest and held up his hand. “And there’s no way I’m going to rush when I finally have you. You won’t find me ‘fast,’ Jane.”
The raw words evoked a picture of Ruel lying naked on the bed at Zabrie’s, his foot rubbing lazily back and forth, testing the textures of the sheet. Her chest felt suddenly tight, her breath constricted. “I won’t enjoy any—”
“Dammit, you will” His coolness was suddenly gone, his blue eyes blazing at her. “I won’t be made to feel I’m brutalizing you. I’m not one of those men in that stew where you grew up and I’m not a stranger in a darkened room, waiting to give you what you need and be dismissed. I’m Ruel MacClaren, and you’ll know who I am every minute I’m with you.”
Another picture—tanned muscular legs braced against the white counterpane as he pushed slowly forward …
She felt the heat sting her cheeks. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Then we won’t talk about it.” He looked straight ahead, and his words came hard and fast. “But I’ll be thinking about it and so will you. You’ll know I want you so badly I hurt most of the day. You’ll know every single time I position a spike I’m thinking about you. Every time I give it that first gentle tap to get it started I’m thinking about coming into you. Every time I swing that hammer I’ll think of it as a thrust sinking deep and warm inside you.” His voice thickened. “And I’ll hit each stroke with every bit of my strength and power because I want to go very, very deep.” He kicked his horse into a gallop that sent it springing ahead of her. “You might keep that in mind, Jane.”
The spike bit deep into the wood.
Jane felt a shock go through her body. It was the vibration of the pounding of the hammer against wood, she told herself. She had felt it a thousand times before, so many times she had ceased to notice it.
Dear God, but she was noticing it now. Her breasts were swelling against her loose shirt, the nipples achingly sensitive as they touched the cloth.
Ruel swung the hammer again. The muscles of his arms rippled, gleamed gold in the sunlight.
The spike sank deeper.
The muscles of her stomach clenched.
The hammer exploded against the head of the spike.
What was happening to her? She was burning up, the blood pounding beneath the skin.
Heat. It had to be the strong sun that was causing this reaction.
She tore her gaze away from Ruel and strode quickly toward the water bearer.
She shook her head as he extended the dipper and cupped her hands. An instant later she was splashing the cool water over her face and cheeks and then over her nape and throat. That was better. She had been right, it had been the sun, not Ruel who had caused the unusual heat.
Not Ruel …
He had stopped work and was staring at her, his legs slightly astride, the huge hammer held balanced in both hands, his gaze on her throat. She was suddenly conscious of the drop of water gliding slowly down her throat, beneath her shirt and over her upper breasts.
Cold liquid against hot flesh.
Searing blue eyes watching her.
The drop of water reached her nipples, pooled, darkening the light-blue chambray and delineating her engorged nipple.
Ruel’s tongue moistened his lower lip.
A shudder went through her.
He smiled and his gaze went deliberately to his lower body.
Stark, heavy arousal.
He swung the hammer again.
The spike dug deeper into the wood.
• • •
“You didn’t wait for me yesterday,” he said softly. “How can I protect you if you run away f
rom me?”
“How many times do I have to tell you I don’t need you to protect me.” She didn’t look at him as she moved quickly over the ties of Sikor Gorge. “And I wasn’t running away.”
She could feel him staring at her and her breasts tautened, responding mindlessly as they had when she had watched him wield the hammer.
“Why are you fighting it? It will be easier once you let me have you.”
“Be quiet,” she said jerkily.
“You’ll like it.” His voice thickened. “And God knows we both need it. I think I’m going crazy.”
Her pace quickened until it was almost a run, her boots stumbling on the ties.
He muttered a curse. “Be careful, dammit,” he called after her. “Do you want to stumble into the gorge?”
“No, you wouldn’t want me to do that, would you?” she said through her teeth. “A crippled woman would be of no use to you.”
He suddenly chuckled. “It would hinder things a bit, but we could make a few adjustments and make it work for us. Shall I tell you how?”
“No!” She ran the last few feet to the end of the gorge to the banyan grove where Bedelia was tied. She glanced over her shoulder, but he was still strolling across the gorge, making no attempt to pursue her. She hastily saddled the mare. “If you come tomorrow, I’ll tell Robinson to throw you off the site.”
“No, you won’t. Because I’d become annoyed and that would mean you’d have to do without an overseer.” He smiled. “Did I ever mention how nasty I am when I’m annoyed?”
Dead eyes staring sightlessly in the darkness of the alley.
“You’ll have to solve the problem yourself,” he said softly. “It’s so easy. Why are you making it difficult?”
Sunlight shimmered on the tawny streaks in his hair, and he seemed bathed in light as he moved lithely toward her. She stared, as helpless to keep her eyes off him as she had been all day as he swung that damned hammer.
“No!” She finally managed to tear her gaze away, mounted, and kicked Bedelia into a trot and then, desperately, into a full gallop.
“I believe Li Sung came to the supply yard tonight,” Ian said.
Ruel stiffened and turned to look at him. “You’re sure?”
“Fairly sure. He had a key. Jane came to the supply yard early this evening carrying a knapsack and left without it. A Chinese man with a limp came two hours later and picked up the knapsack. I followed him but lost him in the bazaar.”