Apparently not.
She imagined Bianca’s face when she found out that Edie knew. She’d be stricken at first, of course, and then she’d try to figure out how to fix things. How to make Edie feel somehow guilty for accusing Bianca. Because that’s what Bianca’s “unselfish” martyrdom was all about, of course. It wasn’t about helping Edie or devotion for her sister—it was about making Bianca feel better about what she’d done.
The thought made her ill. Edie bent over and threw up in the bushes, vomiting until her drinks and her lunch came up.
“Edie?”
Of course someone would discover her puking in the bushes. She wiped her mouth, feeling pathetic even as a warm, broad hand touched her back.
“Babe? You okay?”
Magnus. She turned and looked at him, a baseball cap on his head, sweat on his brow. He wore an old T-shirt with a Warrior Shop logo, and jeans. A box of computer equipment was at his feet. She’d bothered him while he was moving. Shit. It was on the tip of her tongue to say that she was fine, to make an excuse as to why he’d found her barfing in the street, to make some sarcastic comment to deflect the fact that she felt hollow inside.
But this was Magnus, and she trusted him. She didn’t have to be defensive or abrasive, because he’d understand. Tears welled up in her eyes. “I don’t think I’m okay, no.”
Concern flashed across his face. “Do you want me to get the car? Do you need to go to the hospital?” His hand stroked over her brow, taking her temperature.
“No. That’s not it. I just . . .” She gave a small shake of her head. “I just found out Bianca was fucking my ex when I had my accident and that’s why he broke up with me.”
A cold look settled on his expressive features. “Do I need to go break his face or Bianca’s?”
“You just need to hold me,” she said in a tiny voice.
Big arms wrapped around her and Edie felt her face smushed against his chest. It wasn’t the most gentle hug, but it was the most welcoming one she’d ever had, and the tears began to flow. A sob choked her throat. She felt so incredibly . . . stupid. How had she never seen this?
“Come with me,” Magnus said in a gentle voice. He steered her toward his new apartment, and as they walked, she saw through her tears that the movers were staring at them with confused expressions. She buried her face against him, hating that someone other than Magnus was seeing her cry. As if he could sense her thoughts, he gestured. “Why don’t you guys wrap up what you’re doing at the moment and take the rest of the day off? I’ll pay whatever’s needed to handle things. I just need some alone time here.”
He steered Edie toward a plastic-covered couch and sat down with her, and then pulled her into his lap, cradling her in his arms. She sniffed and kept her face pressed against his neck as he stroked her back. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m not doing so good at keeping things together.”
“You don’t have to keep things together,” he told her, rubbing a hand up and down her spine. “Just tell me what happened.”
So she did, telling him about the lunch and running into Drake, and her ex’s careful words. She told him how it all made sense—how Bianca had suddenly turned from self-centered little sister into selfless nursemaid, and how Edie had thought it was curious but she was too happy and relieved to have her sister at her side to care. She told him about Drake’s distance as Edie healed, and she’d stupidly thought it was her and her injury that were the problems. And as she talked, he held her and listened, his hands moving over her in gentle, comforting motions as she cried.
“I just feel so dumb,” she told him when the story was done. One hand swiped across her face, wiping away tears. “Like it was all before my face, and I was too wrapped up in my own misery to see it. I should have known. My sister’s a user. People like that don’t just change overnight.”
“Hey,” he murmured. “It’s me you’re talking to here. You think I don’t know how siblings work? I’m the one who keeps giving Levi a chance even when I know it’s dumb. It’s just that . . . he’s family. I want him to want more for himself, even if he doesn’t. So I totally understand.”
That was one of the nice things about Magnus, she realized. That was one reason they clicked so well—they both understood what it was like to deal with a frustrating sibling. They both had fucked-up, strangely codependent relationships with their siblings that didn’t make sense to the outside world but somehow did in their minds. They both knew what it was to depend on that other person and be completely and utterly let down by them. Magnus and Levi were just like Edie and Bianca in so many ways.
Magnus got why she was so upset. More than betrayal, it was the realization that it had been so easy to lean on that other person, to let them take over part of her life, and now that was being wrenched away. Magnus would get that. He would totally know how she was feeling, because he’d been there himself.
Magnus understood her. Edie’s heart brimmed full of love, and she cuddled against him, comforted despite the horrible day. Somehow, in Magnus’s strong arms, it didn’t feel so very bad. It was still awful, but it hurt less knowing she had him.
“I think you’re the only person I can completely trust,” Edie said softly, clutching at his shirt. “I thought Bianca always had my back, but I guess I was wrong. I’m so glad I have you instead.”
Underneath her, she felt Magnus tense. Felt his hand stop stroking her back. After a long moment, he said, “Shit.”
That . . . was a surprising response to her confessing that she was glad to have him. Edie sat up and wiped her face, staring at him. Magnus’s green eyes were troubled, the frown line between his brows appearing. “What?”
He gazed at her for a long moment, then gave a small shake of his head. “I really fucking hate your sister.”
Was that all it was? “Well, that makes two of us at the moment,” Edie said, preparing to settle back in against his chest. But his hand stopped her, and as she looked into his unhappy face, her stomach gave a gurgle of fear. “What is it?”
“We need to talk,” he said, voice soft. “This has gone on long enough.”
“What’s gone on long enough?” She felt like vomiting again, but clamped her jaw, determined to hear this. “What is it?”
He studied her for a long moment, the green-gold brilliance of his eyes heartbreaking. Then, Magnus said gently, “Didn’t you ever wonder why I hired you in the first place?”
Edie’s heart squeezed painfully. “Because you got a cat, right?” She hated how pathetically desperate her voice sounded.
“Did I seem like a guy who wanted a cat? I mean, I like Lady C now, but when you first came over, didn’t it all strike you as weird?”
It had, but she’d ignored those warning signs. “What are you trying to say?”
“Levi had our assistant pick out the cat at the shelter. See, he met Bianca at the same dinner party we met at. And he wanted to start seeing Bianca, but she wouldn’t agree to it unless you were busy with something, because she didn’t want to abandon you.” He closed his eyes and gave a small shake of his head. “And because I needed Levi to work with me, I agreed to keep you occupied so they could spend time together.”
She flung herself off of his lap, horrified. “You what?” This was a nightmare. A horrible, awful nightmare that she couldn’t quite wake up from.
“I’m telling you this because I don’t like their games,” he said, face expressionless. “Because I feel like we need the truth between us and I’m tired of the lies and the half truths. When we first started spending time together, that wasn’t because I wanted to. I know it sounds awful, and that’s why I want you to hear it from me instead of one of their lying mouths.”
Edie slid away from him and put her hands to her forehead. This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t. “I don’t understand.”
“It changed, Edie. I changed. Because at f
irst, I was spending time with you to humor Levi, to try and get him to work on the game with me. But at some point, I started to have feelings for you, and—”
“And what?” she cried. “It made it all better because now you didn’t think I was a bitch? So it was okay to lie to my face and pretend to like me when you thought I was a mean, awful person? Really?”
“No—”
“Yes!” She shook her head at him. “How can you possibly think that is okay? I am a person! I have feelings, too! Pretending that you wanted to go out with me is not okay on any level, Magnus!”
“It hasn’t been pretending. Not for some time.”
“How am I supposed to know that? How am I supposed to believe a word that you say? You’re just as big a liar as Bianca is.” She bounded to her feet, ignoring the sharp stab of pain that shot up her bad leg. “I can’t stay here. I have to leave—”
“No, Edie,” Magnus said, coming after her. He reached for her, and when she jerked away, stopped. “I love you. Seriously. That’s all me. I want you to move in with me. I don’t care that we’ll have nine cats and sixteen-hundred square feet. We’ll find a bigger place that meets our needs and we’ll be happy together, just you and me. Just stay, and let’s talk this through.”
She shook her head. “I can’t deal with this. Not right now. Maybe not ever.”
“Edie—”
“Fuck off,” she said, and then she was out the door, and down the street, and she didn’t stop running until she found a taxi. In a haze of pain and misery, she looked at the driver. “Buchanan Manor, please.”
And then she burst into more noisy tears.
Chapter Sixteen
Gretchen Petty was a good friend.
She didn’t ask questions when Edie stood on her doorstep, utterly miserable, knee swollen, tears running down her face, vomit on her shirt. She just folded her arms around her friend and ushered her inside. After Edie had taken a nice long bath and changed into Gretchen’s pajamas, Gretchen ordered a pizza and slowly coaxed the story out of Edie. Of Bianca’s betrayal, followed up by the fact that Magnus had been lying to her, too. Gretchen was appropriately horrified, and insisted that Edie stay with her until things were sorted out.
“But my cats,” Edie protested. “They need medication and Bianca won’t take care of them, and—” Fresh tears erupted.
Gretchen patted Edie’s good knee. “Give me your house key and a list of their meds and I’ll handle it.”
Edie gave up the keys without protest.
Hours later, Edie woke up from a nap to find that Gretchen had arrived with one of Hunter’s new assistants named Darcy. Between the two of them, they’d rounded up all seven of Edie’s cats, brought bags of cat food and litter, and proceeded to set up the largest room in the guest wing for Edie. Gretchen had also packed up Edie’s clothing so she’d have something to wear and not have to worry about returning home.
Edie cried some more, because she had such a good friend in Gretchen. She was the only person who had kept her word at all.
As she settled her cats into the new, unfamiliar surroundings, Edie ignored her phone. It had been ringing off the hook all afternoon, and vibrating with incoming texts. Gretchen had reported that Bianca was beside herself, weeping and full of excuses, and followed Gretchen around the apartment until Gretchen threatened to deck her. It seemed that someone had let Bianca in on what was happening, and her sister was upset that Edie knew the truth.
Good, Edie thought cruelly. Let her stew. Let her know how it feels for a change.
Magnus had been calling, too, but she ignored those. Instead of the rage she felt at her sister, there was just a dull ache where Magnus had betrayed her, a dull ache right where her heart should have been. She wasn’t as angry at Magnus as she was at Bianca. Her anger at Bianca was mostly anger at herself—she should have known better. Bianca had always been selfish and controlling growing up. Her change-about should have made Edie question things. Instead, she’d simply allowed Bianca to slowly take over her life.
Magnus’s betrayal she’d never seen coming. Maybe that was why it made her just want to cry instead of punch things. Maybe because she so desperately wanted to believe the words he’d been saying—I love you—and she just couldn’t.
If everyone lies to you, how can you possibly know what the truth is? Edie had no answer for that. And as she hugged Chunk’s ragged fur against her, she let the tears flow.
Because she’d let herself fall for Magnus. She’d let herself believe in love again.
That probably made her the stupidest one of all.
“You want something to eat?” Gretchen asked as Darcy left, carrying out the empty pizza box. “You hardly touched the pepperoni deluxe, and I know it’s your favorite.”
Edie held Chunk close, feeling the elderly cat tremble in fear out of her new surroundings. “I’m fine. I’m not hungry.”
“Most people pork up when they have a breakup,” Gretchen told her. “If you want to have ice-cream sundaes and a pork-rind pig-out fest, I’m your girl. You just let me know.”
“I know,” Edie said softly. “Thank you.”
“All right. Just text me if you need me. I’m a wing away but it might as well be miles in this place.”
“I’ll text.”
“Okay,” Gretchen said. “Leaving now. For real.”
“Bye.”
“This is me leaving,” Gretchen echoed again, stepping slowly to the door. “This is me checking to see if you want anything else before I leave. Anything at all.”
A ghost of a smile touched Edie’s face. “I’m good. I promise.”
Gretchen sighed. “All righty, then. See you in the morning.” She closed the door, and Edie pressed a kiss to Chunk’s soft head. Alone with her thoughts at last.
A knock sounded at the door. Gretchen again? “I’m fine,” Edie yelled. “Seriously, Gretch.”
The door opened and to Edie’s surprise, Hunter glanced in. “Is this a bad time?” His voice was deep, gravelly, almost raspy, as if not used often. His face was a bit fearsome in the shadows, and his mouth was pulled down heavily in one corner. No, Edie realized, it was scarring that made it seem as if he were permanently angry.
She sat up, and Chunk leapt away. “No, of course not. This is your house. Thank you for letting me stay here.”
He nodded and opened the door a bit farther, but didn’t come inside. Instead, he glanced around the room, at the cats hiding in corners, shivering in their carriers, and she knew at least one was hiding under the bed. Cats never did well in a new environment, and hers would need a little time to adjust. He looked around, then back at Edie.
“You’re very dear to Gretchen,” he said in that strange, low voice. “I just want you to know that if you need anything, all you have to do is ask. My resources are at your disposal.”
Fresh tears threatened again. She knew Hunter was a recluse based off of Gretchen’s comments, knew that he hated to be around people unless he absolutely had to. For him to come and offer this was touching. “I appreciate it.”
He gave her a stiff nod, then shut the door. She heard his footsteps down the hall as he walked away.
Edie lay back down on the bed again, grabbing a pillow and hugging it. On the nearby table, her phone buzzed with an incoming text.
She ignored it and closed her eyes, willing herself to fall asleep.
Didn’t work.
***
Magnus was ready to kill someone, starting with his brother, Levi. No, he decided, Bianca would go first.
Both of them were completely useless when it came to finding Edie. All Bianca did was sob and ask what it meant for her, and Magnus wanted to wring her pretty neck. She wasn’t concerned about her sister as much as she was concerned about herself, and that just increased his rage. Levi was also equally useless. It seemed that the fair Bianca had dumpe
d him and now he was inconsolable.
Misery loved company, but this was ridiculous.
In the meantime, he’d texted Edie a ridiculous number of times, called her just as many, but she wasn’t answering. Bianca wasn’t answering his calls, either, so he’d taken to driving around the city, in the hopes that he’d catch a glimpse of a woman with a unique gait and two short brown braids that she wore tucked behind each ear. When it got dark, he decided to give up and headed back to his new place, just in case she changed her mind and came home.
He considered it “their” home, even if she wouldn’t live there. He’d bought it thinking of her, and he saw her in every room, every piece of new furniture picked out with the thought of pleasing Edie. Now all of that might be for nothing, and the thought made him feel hollow inside. No, fuck that. He wasn’t going to allow that to happen. Magnus was a doer. It was Levi who was the emotional one, the dreamer. Magnus got shit done. If getting Edie back was something that needed to happen, well, he’d get that shit done, too.
He was just pulling up to his new Park Slope place when his phone dinged with an incoming text. Nearly jumping the curb in his haste to answer, Magnus parked the car and flicked his phone on.
Hunter. Damn it. His momentary disappointment gave way to relief when he read the text. Edie is here, with Gretchen. She has her cats with her and will be our guest for a few days as she settles in.
Thank god. Magnus tilted his head back with relief, eyes closed. As long as she was safe and with friends, that was all that mattered. He immediately dialed Hunter. “She’s there? She’s safe?” he asked the moment the phone picked up on the other end.
“Yes and yes,” Hunter said.
“Thank you,” Magnus breathed. “Thank you for being there for her.” He felt so fucking guilty that he was part of this nonsense. That he’d allowed himself to get swept up in Levi’s stupid games. Edie was right; it was an awful thing to do. He just hadn’t given any thought to how Edie would feel about being manipulated because he hadn’t cared as long as he’d gotten what he wanted out of things.