by Kitty Thomas
“Annette is not a sub. She is my property.”
Gabe had by this point begun to frantically pace back and forth across the floor of the large suite. “Well, I don’t treat things I own this badly. I don’t scratch up my car just because I can. I never threw a surfboard against a wall just because it was mine. When you truly own something shouldn’t you take better care of it, not worse? She isn’t there yet, but she is going to hate you. And once she does there will be no coming back from it.”
Anton glared. “Are you finished?”
“I don’t know why I even bother.” Gabe started to leave in the same swirl of angry energy he’d erupted into the room in, but Anton’s voice stopped him.
“I shouldn’t have taken her out in public so soon. I let my ego take over. I should have kept her here until she was trained. There were too many moving parts tonight that I couldn’t control, and I lost it with her. Okay?”
“You know you’re not the good guy, right?”
Anton had figured that out hours ago. It was chilling to wake up into your own story as the villain. “I know.”
Gabe gave him a disgusted look and left without another word. Anton turned off the bedside lamp and tried to sleep, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t stop thinking about Annette in that dark cell by herself. What were her real crimes? Being human? Being scared? Of course she didn’t trust him. Of course if she was attracted she might feel jealous. Of course she’d worry he might lose interest and both her and her sister’s life might be at stake. It was unreasonable to expect so much of her so soon. What was he afraid of?
And why was he so hell bent on destroying this before it could really start? He’d never thought of himself as self-destructive.
In the desperate urge not to lose this almost magical scenario he’d stumbled into, he’d forgotten there was a very real human woman at his total mercy. And he wanted a genuine bond with her. He shouldn’t have taken her out in public so soon. What was the rush?
Why was she in the dungeon? For insulting him at a party she wasn’t prepared to deal with, two days after she’d met him? He was the one at fault here. Not her. He just didn’t know how to fix it while still maintaining control.
This may have been uncharted territory but it wasn’t as though he’d never had a long-term sub. He had to let go of the idea that Annette was something completely different. She wasn’t. The only difference was that she couldn’t just leave him. If he couldn’t handle that level of power then he was never the person he thought he was.
Anton was at a crossroad. If he didn’t fix this immediately, he’d become Brian. Brian actually had a history that made his behavior almost understandable. What was Anton’s excuse besides simple corruption of power?
He’d never be able to sleep until he fixed this. Reluctantly, he got up and went down to the dungeon. He couldn’t apologize. It would show weakness, and she’d only manipulate this loophole later. He would have to show her by his actions over time that she could trust him. And hell, he wasn’t sure he could trust himself so why should he expect it of her? He felt beyond shaken by his recent behavior. He’d always thought he was more in control than this.
The cell door creaked as he pushed it open. Immediately, she stirred. Had she somehow actually managed to fall asleep?
“Annette, come to bed.”
Without a word, she gathered her blankets and pillows and clothes and walked out of the cell, avoiding his gaze like a puppy who’d been kicked by its master—as if he needed more reminding of what he was.
In their room, she still didn’t speak.
“Leave the blankets on the floor; they came from another room. The pillows go in here.”
She left the blankets and took her pillows to the bed and silently got in. This was possibly beyond repair.
“Go to sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
Anton turned off the lamp and got in on his side. The bed vibrated every few seconds from her crying. He hesitated, but then moved in closer and gently touched her shoulder. She stopped crying for a moment and tensed.
He didn’t know how to comfort her. He was the monster she needed comfort from.
“Do you regret trading yourself for your sister, now?”
There was a long pause. He thought he might have to repeat the question, but finally she said, “No. Knowing what I know now, I’m just glad it’s not her having to be trapped with you.”
Everything was broken.
51
It took a moment for Annette to remember where she was when she woke. Her first thought had been out of habit. Did I remember to go to the store? Do we have any cereal? Her next thought was wondering why her alarm hadn’t gone off and if Jan’s had. Had she made it to school in time?
A second later, Annette bolted straight up in bed, her eyes flying open, as she remembered the nightmare that was her life now.
A robe had been laid across the bottom of the bed for her. Small kindnesses. These little things he did. This Jekyll and Hyde routine. She’d known him only a few days and already there was a long pro/con list. He had as many crimes as good moments, and she knew she would never trust him.
No matter how beautiful he was. No matter how much she still wanted him to touch her. How could anyone have such a spell on her? She’d always been the type of woman who took forever to fall for a guy. Despite her limited experience, she knew who she was. It took sometimes well into a year before she stopped fully questioning if she even liked the guy let alone if she loved him.
It took nearly forever for her to become truly attached. She’d thought something was wrong with her. Maybe she was shut down. Too cold. Maybe she couldn’t feel the things other people felt when it came to attraction and love. Or maybe it was from losing her parents. Maybe it was too risky to have strong feelings for someone when they would just die and leave you anyway.
But Anton was different. Was it just that he was so unbearably beautiful? Was it the accent? Was it the pleasure? Was she addicted to the fear and adrenaline? Was she a danger junkie? What sick thing had slithered inside her mind and taken hold to make her feel this way?
She thought back to the previous day. In the pool where things had first started to go to hell and the mask had slipped with him. It was a little fucking white lie to protect her sister! It didn’t merit the punishment that followed. Then he’d acted so weird at the ballet. And the party. And the fucking dungeon. Even coming for her later didn’t make up for the fact that he’d intended to make her sleep there.
Annette slipped the bathrobe on and tied it around herself. She went outside and stood on the balcony. This could be the closest she ever got to freedom, but it was fresh air. From the third floor, the view was exquisite. A good portion of the expansive property was clearly visible from her vantage point as well as a lush forest beyond. In the far distance she could see a mountain range.
The sun was almost directly overhead. She’d slept most of the morning away—not surprising given the night before. A sunrise over those mountains would be absolutely breathtaking. She could picture herself standing on the balcony in the morning, watching that sunrise every day—assuming Anton would allow her any of these small normal things.
Why hadn’t she run at the ballet? Two times he’d inexplicably given her the opportunity. She and her sister could have gotten to safety, and then the cops could have swarmed Anton’s house.
She’d been swept up in a fairy tale, convinced somehow that things would be wonderful, that he was some sort of prince. Her mind went to the after party. She felt so confused by everything that had happened all the way from Sergio at the theater, to the very end. How had she slept with two strange men? She’d done it, and she’d liked it. She wished more than anything she could say that she hadn’t.
There was no morning-after regret except perhaps for the regret that she didn’t feel like she thought she should feel. Dirty. Maybe all the phone sex really had desensitized her to this sort of thing. Maybe she’d been lying to herself all this time.
Maybe she’d really been a whore on the phone. Or maybe it was the fact that she knew her relationship with Anton was permanent. Despite whatever weird games he’d been playing with her—the opportunities she’d been given to escape—by the time of the party, she’d been sure Anton was done with that suicidal mission.
The most upsetting part of the night had been when Anton had started touching Katya. It hurt. Rationally, she knew it shouldn’t. They’d just met, and he’d made no promises to her. But jealousy was an involuntary emotion. It wasn’t a rational thing she could control.
Annette heard the balcony door click open. She couldn’t bring herself to turn around and was surprised when arms wrapped around her waist and lips found the side of her throat. He kissed her like they were old lovers, like they’d known each other a hundred years. As if nothing had happened. As if she weren’t his slave. As if there was no tension and bad feeling between them.
“I brought you some breakfast, kiska. Would you like to eat it out here?”
She heard herself say, “Yes, Master.” It was easier. He left her and went back inside for a moment, but a moment was enough for her mind to scurry down a rabbit trail.
What if she just did everything he said? What if she didn’t fight him on anything? Didn’t tell even the whitest of lies? What if she just buried any feeling of jealousy and was absolutely compliant? What then? He could still be evil. He could still hurt her, and he probably would, but it was the only option she had. She couldn’t figure out another course of action she had available. Appease and hope. That was it.
This felt like an abusive relationship. Annette had known girls like this. Friends even. It always followed the same pattern. She does some minor thing to upset him. He flies off the handle and shouts and hurts her. He comes crawling back and apologizes. He gives her presents. He swears it will never happen again. Until it does. Each time it gets worse. And each time the girl thinks if she just doesn’t set him off… if she can just be perfect… if she can just avoid making him mad, things will stay good. Because the good times are so good. It’s such an addiction. It’s so hard to leave when it’s good. But it can’t work. Because he’s sick. He’s addicted to the cycle of drama, and ultimately, so is she.
But this wasn’t the same thing. Anton was not her boyfriend. He’d made no real promises to her except sparing her sister’s life in exchange for her. He’d made it clear what the rules were from the beginning. She’d agreed to this twisted deal. He hadn’t apologized or promised her it wouldn’t happen again. And there was nowhere for her to go, despite the opportunities she’d had. Those opportunities would never come again—she was sure of it. She’d been foolish, and now it was too late to do anything but try to appease the madman whose power she existed under.
“Kiska?”
Annette turned to find he’d set the table for them from a cart he’d rolled onto the balcony. She’d been so absorbed in her thoughts that she hadn’t heard him return. This morning he wore jeans and a T-shirt, and looked more beautiful than he had the right to.
She turned back from the railing and sat in the chair he held out for her. They had moved to the gentleman portion of his insane behavioral cycle. She wondered if apologies would come next. Or perhaps gifts.
There was a vase with a single rose in the middle of the table. She wasn’t sure if this counted as a gift or if it was just part of the decorum of breakfast for Anton. After all, breakfast was set with crystal glasses and fine bone china plates. Maybe this was just Anton.
There was sausage and eggs and croissants and fruit and juice.
“Coffee?” he asked, indicating a pot and two saucers and cups on the second row of the cart.
“Yes, please.”
He poured them both a cup and set out some cream and sugar.
Annette ate silently, waiting. From the moment he’d thrown her into the cell the previous night—even though he’d later let her come to bed—she’d seen herself as she truly was. A prisoner. It colored even his kindness in a dark way.
Anton took a sip of his coffee. He drank it black. “I’ve decided to take a few days off from the spa so I can train you.”
She cringed at that. If he noticed, he pretended he hadn’t.
“We won’t be going to the ballet again for a while. I’ll be keeping you at the house until then. It was a mistake to take you out so soon.”
She thought she might hyperventilate. The house was huge—like a resort really, and there was so much space outside. Still, the idea of being stuck in this one place for so long…
“Where is the perimeter?” She held up the wrist with the shiny metal band on it. “How far can I go before I get zapped?” What if the bracelet didn’t even work? Maybe it was just a mind game. What if it wasn’t even real? She was determined to find out if he ever let her out of his sight long enough.
“I’d have to ask Brian. I’m not sure where he set the boundaries.”
Anton acted like the previous day hadn’t even happened. She wanted to lash out, but it would definitely bring a punishment. Still, she couldn’t stop herself from bringing it up.
“Last night you said we’d talk today.”
“What is there to talk about? You didn’t know my rules. You acted out. I got upset. It was too soon to take you out into the world. I forget you have no experience with my world. You will learn.”
He acted like all of this was her fault.
“I thought you said you’d be kind to me.” As if that were something she could trust from a man like Anton.
He’d been calmly buttering his croissant. An eyebrow rose. He laid the knife and the bread down. “I said I would be kind if you obeyed me. You still have much to learn about what it is to be a good and obedient pet.”
He retrieved his cell phone from his pocket and placed it on the table. “Call your sister. I told her she would hear from you every day. We can’t miss our check in.”
Annette stared at the phone. Less than twenty-four hours ago she’d spoken to Janette, insisting and believing that things would somehow be fine. She didn’t believe it anymore and her sister was one of the very few people she couldn’t get away with lying to. Maybe it was the twin thing.
“I can’t call her. She’ll know I’m lying.”
“Then don’t lie. I know such a thing seems nearly impossible for you, but the fact is, telling the truth is an option. You should try it.”
“You think she wouldn’t call the police if she knew what you were doing to me?”
“I think if she’s smart she’ll keep cashing her school checks and living her life. Call.”
Annette took a deep breath and picked up the phone and dialed.
“Hello?” Janette answered on the second ring, no doubt guarded from not recognizing the number on her caller ID.
“Hey, it’s me,” Annette said.
“Hey! Are you okay? Did you sneak somewhere to call me?”
“I’m fine. He let me call.”
“Oh. Did you like all your clothes and stuff?”
“What clothes and stuff?” Annette asked.
“After I met with Anton, he dragged me off to a bunch of stores to shop for you. I thought you’d see it all by now.”
Annette remembered Anton mentioning several bags of things for her in the closet.
“Hold on,” she said. Annette put her hand over the phone. “Can I go see the stuff you got with Janette?”
“Finish your call and breakfast first.”
She ate a bite of sausage and eggs and went back to the call. “We’re having breakfast right now. But I’ll look when I’m done.”
“You will love me,” Janette said.
“You know I already do.”
There was silence on the line for a couple of minutes. Anton passed the croissant he’d buttered over to her, and then he took hers off her plate for himself.
Finally, Janette spoke again, her voice going serious. “How are you really? This is so fucked up. I keep thinking about calling the police and
just figuring out a way to get you out of there. I know you said yesterday that you thought you could find a way to be happy, but I just can’t believe that’s the case. I had a test this morning in organic chemistry, and I’m sure I flunked it. I can’t concentrate knowing you’re out there. And I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” Annette said. Do not cry. Don’t you dare fucking cry. It was the only thing she could say that would be true. She was afraid to try to convince her sister not to go to the police with Anton sitting nearby. The call was reminding her in very stark terms why she was doing all this.
It wasn’t about whatever weird attraction she’d developed toward the Russian. It wasn’t about if she felt jealous or got her feelings hurt when he touched someone else. It wasn’t about pleasure or pain. It was about keeping Jan safe and making sure she had her future.
With her sister seemingly safe, it had been easy to shift to her own petty concerns. But her sister wasn’t safe. This could blow up in their faces at any moment—something that should have been much more obvious to her after realizing what she was in bed with. Jan would never be safe if there was even a chance she’d go to the police.
If Anton thought her sister was a liability, Annette was sure she’d be in danger.
“Annie? Hello? Did you space out?”
“Hmmm?” Annette said.
“I know he’s probably with you, or maybe he’s listening in on the call. I don’t know how this works, but I can’t just leave you there with him. Just say yes or no, is he listening in?”
“No.”
“Is he there with you?”
“Yes.”
“There has to be a way to get you out of there safely. I mean it wouldn’t be just local police. It would probably be the FBI. Do you think they haven’t done things like this before? This is stupid. I’m getting you out of there. I know it’s a risk, but it’s the smaller risk. I really think it is.”