by Kitty Thomas
She released a sigh. He was sure it wasn’t meant to be heard or discerned by him, but it was relief. What could have gotten into her head to make her think that the contract had changed? Or that he wanted it to?
“I thought maybe you were getting bored with me, or maybe it made you angry… the limits in the contract… and that you would just… take it.”
Oh. She wanted to feel like she had some control.
The contract held no power over him. There was no one to enforce it. Brian was the only enforcer at the house. He had no one to answer to. It was just a piece of paper with words that he could choose to follow or not. The only reason he chose to follow them was because he couldn’t be his own tormentor. And whatever evil crawled beneath his skin demanding satisfaction, passed over her when it saw her as if sacrifices had already bled to spare her his wrath.
The intercom came on, breaking the moment.
“We’re sending someone down to you,” Lindsay said over the speaker. “She’s new and too rebellious. She’s causing chaos up here with her demands. Where do you want her?”
“Put her in cell A. I’ll deal with her in a few minutes.”
Mina tensed beneath him. He knew she hated what he was. He wished that just being with her could soften his edges and make him good—for her. He wished he wasn’t so broken and damaged. If she could understand what a miracle it was that he could be gentle with her—just one person in the entire world—maybe she would accept what he had to do. What he wanted to do and could muster no guilt for.
She should count herself lucky that she didn’t ping his radar as someone it would be fun to harm.
He eased out of the bed. “Go upstairs for a while.”
He’d been open with her. She had to accept it. Period. And yet, lately he found himself trying to shield her, to hide it. Each time, he grew more irrationally angry. As if it were her fault he was turning so soft. She was making him a liar.
“Yes, Master.”
There were tears in her voice, and it enraged him. He gripped her tighter, and she gasped before he realized he’d done it.
“Go now before I say or do something I’ll regret.”
She looked on him with that fear again, the same fear from the first day after he’d bought her. The same fear from the night she’d met him. It would never go away. She would never trust him because he couldn’t trust himself. The shared intimacy of only moments before seemed like a dream. Every time they inched toward something good, it shattered again when reality came crashing back.
Mina moved quickly down the dungeon corridor, but not quickly enough. The new girl was already being brought downstairs by Gabe. She struggled in his arms and cursed at him. She was too defiant. Brian would love breaking her.
Don’t look at her. Don’t think about her. Just go upstairs. It’s not happening. It’s not real.
If she could only narrow everything down to the small world in which she and Brian inhabited, everything would be fine. She darted past the girl and up the stairs, forcing herself not to look back.
She wished she could go to the spa with Annette and get a massage or a manicure, but Shannon had looked on her with too much accusation. Everywhere Mina turned, evidence of Brian’s brutality stared her in the face. The women in the house were all waiting for her to fall, for Brian to lose it, for her to be reduced to the same status with him that the rest of them lived in.
Besides her, only Annette was protected. And that was because she belonged to Anton. The collar protected Anton’s slave in the same way Mina’s collar protected her. Her fingers strayed to touch the metal at her throat.
Mina felt herself pulled back toward the dungeon. She didn’t want to go down there. She didn’t want to see or hear what Brian was doing. She wanted to stay upstairs where it was safe, where she could pretend that he didn’t do these things.
Brian had been nothing but protective toward her. Even when he seemed angry or scary or intense, he always found another outlet. Never her. But it was in him—deeper and darker than it had been with Jason or any of the others.
He was a bomb that could go off at any moment. Any time Mina got too close, she heard the ticking. She crept down the stairs, knowing she’d regret it. But the darkness inside Brian pulled her like wispy black smoke, embracing her and calling her to him. It demanded that she watch, that she couldn’t hide from what he was.
She was barely down the stairs when she heard the new girl’s screams and begging. Mina had been sure the second the blindfold had come off on the day Brian bought her, that the rest of her life would be nothing but screaming and begging and cringing and cowering in corners. And more scars. So far she’d been shown mercy.
But the rooms underground smelled like pain and fear. And she couldn’t quite convince herself that it was any better when she was spared and it was someone else taking the beatings.
Mina flinched as the whip cracked. Sometimes he was more methodical. He took his time. He mentally tortured them and worked them into a state to burn off the worst of whatever was inside him that needed sated. She knew why. If he went full out from the beginning, he might make too many of them unsaleable like Shannon in the spa. He had to ease his way in.
But today, he’d moved straight to the whip. Mina edged closer and peered through the window to find the new girl tied with her hands over her head against the pole in the center of the room.
“Please, please I swear I’ll be good,” she screamed. And she meant it. It had taken only a few minutes with Brian for her to realize the folly of whatever stupid thing she’d done.
“Will you?” Brian asked. “Because from what I heard you were making all sorts of demands as if you were queen of the castle. Tell me, sweetheart, do you think you’re the queen, now? We had one of those once. It didn’t end well for her.”
“N-no, Sir!”
Crack.
“What are you, then?”
“J-just a slave.”
He laughed. “Oh, you’re not even fit for that yet. Right now you’re just a dumb whore that might amuse me enough to let you live to be trained and sold. Do you know how many people I’ve killed?”
She shook her head vigorously.
“A. Lot. And I don’t feel a thing except relief when another life slips away. If I spare you today, think about that when you’re upstairs with one of the others—one of the gentle souls who can barely stand to venture down here because they aren’t dark or hard enough for it.”
“Y-yes, Sir.”
The whip cracked against her skin again, and a few drops of blood hit the floor.
“I can fuck you or I can beat you some more. Which would you prefer?”
“F-fuck. Please fuck.”
He laughed. “Good girl. Your smart mouth has no purpose here except to worship my cock. Do you understand?”
“Y-yes, Sir.”
“The only thing I want you to think about in this house is how you can please the men who wander these halls. When you’re up there being a dirty slut and you think you’re being as slutty as you can possibly be, remember you can always be better. Always strive for more. You’d better if you want to stay out of the dungeon. Obey them fast. Get sold quickly. And move far from my reach.”
He thrust into her, and she whimpered in something like relief. That was when he looked up to find Mina watching him. He was not happy.
She fled up the stairs. When she reached the top, she scanned the main hall, then ran outside and to the cafeteria. There was a game room in the west wing and the spa in the east. She bumped into Lindsay while trying to decide which direction to go in next.
“Where’s Annette?”
He gripped her shoulders, a look of concern in his eyes. “Mina, are you all right?”
“No. I’m not all right. I will never be all right. Where is Annette? I have to talk to her!”
Anton’s slave was the only person in the house that Mina felt she could be open with.
“She’s meeting with some guests. She’s
not here right now.”
Mina began to pace, not caring that she looked completely insane. The other girls in the cafeteria backed away, but managed to stay close enough to eavesdrop because apparently she was the best gossip here. Her and this sick thing with Brian.
“What happened?” Lindsay asked.
“I can’t talk to you! I’m not allowed to talk to you!” She was screaming now, her voice carrying all the way out to the pool from where a few girls and trainers straggled in to watch the show unraveling before them.
“Come to my office. You need to talk. You’re falling apart.”
Tears streamed down her face. “I feel something for him. I don’t know what but something. I can’t… not when he… how can I feel anything for him when he’s such a monster? How can I do anything but cringe when he touches me? What’s wrong with me? I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. I can’t. Why did you do this to me? Why couldn’t you just follow what you said you’d do and sell me to someone kind?”
Brian groaned as he came, the new girl trembling in his arms. Her fear was intoxicating. Just the knowledge that he was in control, that he could do anything, gave him a rush like no other. He might feel peace in Mina’s arms, but he felt powerful here.
He untied her, and she slid to the ground. “Go,” he said, “before I decide I’m not finished with you.”
She scrambled to get back into her clothing and out of the cell. He doubted he’d see her again for the rest of her stay—if she had any sense in her head at all.
Now what to do with Mina? He’d told her to go upstairs. She knew why. And yet she’d defied him. She’d slunk back down in the shadows—his little voyeur who just couldn’t help touching the darkness. He’d have to do something to stop these displays of disobedience. So far it had been minor things, but he refused to let her undermine him, to become some insufferable brat.
When he reached the top of the stairs he heard Mina yelling. He ran to the cafeteria, thinking she was being hurt, only to find her talking to Lindsay. About him. About them.
“Mina!” Brian roared. “What did I tell you? And yet you go behind my back and defy me? Me! I told you to stay the fuck away from the doctor!”
He wouldn’t be affected by the terror that crossed her face. He couldn’t. He couldn’t let himself love her. She made him weak. This weak, helpless feeling in the center of his chest. It was worse than what he remembered. He had to stop caring. He had to stop.
He felt the walls as they grew around him to protect him from her.
Mina dropped to her knees. “Please, Master. I’m sorry. Please don’t hurt me. Please.”
She cringed as he got near.
Lindsay stepped in front of her. “Brian, you need to calm down. She’s not betraying you. She’s not doing anything wrong. She’s struggling.”
“I will show her struggle,” he said. He gripped Lindsay around the throat and shoved him. The doctor crashed into one of the tables, upending it and sending chairs scattering on the hard floor. “Stay out of it! How many times do I have to fucking tell you? How little do you value your life?”
Mina trembled. He raised his hand, then dropped it by his side. He was so close, so close to shifting her the barest bit out of the protection box and into a box he could deal with. Something familiar. Something that would release the knots tied inside of him instead of tie them tighter. But all he could see was the marks on her back and the stairs and the darkness and the twisted rage of his stepmother’s face as she raised the switch over and over. All he could hear was that stupid dog whimpering and then him whimpering and Mina whimpering. Only her whimpering was real—happening now.
The people who’d been crowded around when he reached the cafeteria, backed away quietly, as if trying to make themselves invisible from him. Good instincts.
Brian stalked across the room and grabbed the first girl he came to.
“NO!” she screamed, trying to struggle from his grasp, but he held firm.
Mina looked up, confused.
“Are you familiar with the concept of whipping boys, Mina?”
She shook her head. “I-I mean yes. I know what they are. W-what they were. D-don’t do this. Please, Master. Take me. Please.”
He laughed. “Such bravery all of a sudden. What happened to begging me not to hurt you? I’m sorry, but you will not defy me. If you persist in your disobedience, I will be forced to punish someone in your place.” He started to drag the girl from the room and looked back to find Mina struggling to her feet, a look of indecision on her face.
“Mina, come with me,” Brian said. “This, you will not be shielded from.”
He didn’t look back to see if she was following. He knew she was following. He took the girl to an empty cell he hadn’t used in a while and shoved her into a chair and strapped her down. Mina hovered behind him in the doorway.
“Please take me. Please don’t do this,” she whispered. “She hasn’t done anything wrong.”
He stormed across the floor to her, and she cringed. “Is that an admission of your own guilt? First you sneak back down here and watch through the window while I’m punishing someone after I told you to go upstairs. Then you go to Lindsay and share our private business.”
“Master, I’m sorry. Please. Please just let her go.”
“No!” He grabbed Mina’s wrist and dragged her to a second chair and strapped her down. “I am going to punish her, and you are going to watch. Since you can’t seem to stop yourself from watching. Here, have a front row seat. Enjoy the show. Let me entertain you.”
He couldn’t stop the words flying out of his mouth. He couldn’t feel anything. Everything shut down. Her wrist was red from where he’d grabbed her so hard.
A dead weight settled in his stomach, a looming dread, seeing how easily he could hurt her. What was she doing to him? Why was this happening? He wanted it to be simple. He wanted to keep everything in compartments so he could go on. She was trying to break him apart. What would happen if he just punished her? How guilty would he feel? How much would it hurt him? Maybe he could push through it and retain what he needed to protect himself from… from whatever.
He left the room and slammed the door. He paced the dungeon corridor taking steady deep breaths, trying to think. He couldn’t think straight. The rage consumed him. How had he gotten here? This war between protecting her and possessing her?
After several minutes he gained enough control to go back inside. He shut the door calmly and locked it and made his way to the two bound women. Both seemed ready to come out of their skin with fear.
“Mina, you shouldn’t be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you.” He turned to the other girl. “This one on the other hand…”
The other girl whimpered and struggled and shot death glares at Mina.
“You’re a monster,” Mina said.
“Yes, but you knew that the moment you laid eyes on me. And you still crave me. You want my hands on you. You seek my comfort. You move closer to me in your sleep despite what I am.”
He bent to kiss her. When his mouth touched hers, she melted beneath him.
He pulled back. “That’s what I thought.” He nudged her knees open and slipped his fingers underneath her gym shorts and panties. He smiled in triumph at the wetness there. He’d known she would be wet for him because she was always wet for him now. It didn’t matter what he was. Or what he did. She was lost.
Brian turned his attention to the other girl, and the room pulled into sharp focus. The calm settled over him again, and he began to lay out his tools.
27
Mina squeezed her eyes shut. A few times, Brian had caught her doing it and made her open them, but whenever she could put distance between her and what was happening she did. Though there was no distance great enough. This girl was down here because of her.
Why hadn’t Mina just listened to him? Why hadn’t she remained upstairs and away while he did what he did? If she had, she wouldn’t have had the meltdown. She could have waited to
talk to Annette privately somewhere, instead of spilling it in front of everyone to Lindsay.
“Mina… if you close your eyes once more, I will start over again, and I don’t think our toy can take much more.”
She forced her eyes open. Brian had completely lost it. He’d cut the girl. He’d whipped her. He’d fucking branded her. That brand might make her unsaleable. If it did, he might end up killing her.
“Maybe I should keep her in the house to punish whenever you do something wrong. Tell me, would you like to be Mina’s whipping girl?”
The girl had gone someplace else inside herself.
“I hate you,” Mina said.
Brian backhanded the girl in the chair, and she reeled back. “Say it again, Mina. I’ll bitch slap her every time you speak to me that way. I don’t care if you hate me, but if you do, you will motherfucking keep it to yourself.”
Now wasn’t the time to test him or push his buttons. He seemed even more unhinged than usual. She pressed her lips into a firm line, willing herself to keep her anger and hatred for this man bottled up. How could she have thought she was developing feelings for him? And love? How could she allow that thought into her mind?
Brian didn’t deserve love. He should be put down like any rabid dog. He was too broken to be anything but a danger to society. She could no longer excuse his behavior. She felt drained, exhausted, as if she’d taken the punishment herself. But to even think that way was awful because her skin remained unbroken.
“Mina, will you speak to Lindsay again?” Brian asked, his voice low and calm.
“No, Master.”