Rising from my bed, I decided to change my clothes before joining the fray in the living room. The debate going on was about Ben. He’d survived the night, and his condition had stabilized throughout the day. He’d woken up a few hours ago and was finally well enough to have visitors. I was anxious to see him, to thank him for trying to protect my sister and me, but, with the heated conversation going on downstairs…I didn’t think I wanted to see him anytime soon.
They were going to wipe him. They were going to set him free.
Sighing, I stripped off my shirt and examined myself in the mirror. I had scrapes and bruises, and there was a long, angry red line down my forearm from where a bullet had nicked me. I wasn’t nearly as beat-up as Ben and my sister, but I couldn’t deny that my life was dangerous. My family wanted to give Ben a chance at a less dangerous life.
I couldn’t contemplate it. He’d been a rock in our family since before we were born. He was my dad’s best friend. Those two turned into teenagers whenever they were around each other. And if our family was ever in trouble, Ben was there in a flash—no matter the personal cost. And that price had been high. Ben had scars much deeper than mine. He was constantly worried about the safety of his daughter. And his wife…their troubles really bothered my parents. But wiping him? It seemed so…drastic.
Dressing, I hurried downstairs. Maybe I could stick up for Ben, for his memories. He was too important to our family to just cut him loose. But I had my work cut out for me, since the person who wanted him erased the most…was my dad.
“He’s done enough for this family. We can’t ask him to risk his life anymore.”
Dad stood in front of the TV, arguing with Alanna. Mom was cuddled on the couch with Nika. She peeked up at me when I entered and patted the space next to Nika. I sat by my sister, giving her a quick hug before returning my attention to Dad.
Dad’s gaze swept over me. I could tell from his expression that he hated what he was saying, but he needed to say it. “We owe him…everything.” His pale eyes flashed to Alanna’s. “Giving him a fresh start is the least we can do.”
Alanna sighed. “I know, son, and I know how difficult this is for you. I’m just saying that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.” She pointed out the window, to the direction of California. “Send him home, send him back to his wife…there’s no need to erase him.”
Dad crossed his arms over his chest. “He’s better off not remembering. He’s better off not being in constant danger. And sending him home won’t keep him from danger…” Dad sighed and rolled his eyes. “He’ll just find more.”
Standing, Alanna walked over to Dad. “I love Ben, I really do, but my main concern here is you.” She cupped Dad’s cheeks. “You don’t need to let him go, Teren. Don’t let your guilt punish you like this. Ben loves you, and he made a choice to defend you and your family with his life. Don’t take that choice away because you’re scared.” Sighing again, she ran a hand through Dad’s hair. “Let your guilt go, son…you hold onto it much too tight.”
Dad looked away from Alanna, the guilt she was referencing clear in his eyes. Shaking his head, he reiterated, “He almost died…because of me.” Eyes watery, he turned back to her. “I won’t let that happen again.”
Sniffing, Dad walked away from his mother. Halina paced back and forth in front of the sliding glass doors that led to the backyard. Oddly, she was ignoring the conversation, her eyes fixated on the dark skies instead. She glanced at Dad when he blocked her view. “You know what to do,” he murmured. Halina frowned, but Dad stormed off to the kitchen before she could respond.
Mom waited a moment, then patted Nika’s knee and followed him. I tried to tune out Mom’s quiet words of comfort as I slung my arm over my sister. As everyone in the living room felt the weight of Dad’s words in the air, a growl burrowed up from Halina’s chest. “I can’t be here. I need to leave,” she said.
Gabriel took a step forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. Her head snapped around at his touch. She seemed on edge, and I didn’t think it had anything to do with Ben’s condition. “He’ll be fine, love.”
Halina narrowed her eyes. “He’s going to wake soon. I should be there.” Her fingers clenched Gabriel’s arms. “I need to go to him, Gabriel.” Her voice was pleading with him, and a wave of surprise went through me. Halina didn’t plead with anyone. If she wanted something, she took it.
Gabriel sighed. “It is too dangerous. Let his father handle it, Halina.”
Halina shoved him back. “His father is not equipped to handle a newborn vampire!”
Gabriel’s face was like stone. I had the feeling he’d had this argument with Halina before. “A newborn vampire who is not going to be happy that he is a newborn vampire.” He raised a pale eyebrow at her. “Do I need to remind you what you did to your creator, my dear?”
Turning from him, Halina resumed her pacing. “I know how to be careful…he won’t stake me.”
Imogen watched her mother from a chair in the corner. With a frown on her face, she told her, “He was a hunter before you turned him, Mother. You can’t underestimate him.” A spike of heartache sliced through Nika, and I held her tight to my shoulder. Hunter’s upcoming awakening was just as hard on her as it was on Halina…maybe harder, but she was silently dealing with her pain.
Halina wasn’t so silent. She snarled and tossed her hands in the air. “Fine! Then let’s go wipe Teren’s hot friend so I can get my mind off my child who is waking up all alone!”
Imogen frowned at her mother’s choice of words, then she crossed her arms over her chest. Halina looked back at her, and her face softened. In a flash, she was kneeling in front of her with a hand on her cheek. In her native language, she told her, “You will always be my firstborn, my daughter, my heart incarnate. Without you, I am not complete.” Standing, she added in English, “I’m just a little…testy…at the moment.” Her daughter smiled and nodded.
When Dad collected himself, he walked back into the room with Mom. His pale eyes were shining as he turned to Halina. “Let’s get this over with,” he murmured.
Halina, agitated at her own situation, softened her expression as she regarded her grandson. “Are you sure you want to do this, Teren?”
Dad looked over at me, heartache all over his face. “Yes, I should have done this ages ago. Maybe from the very beginning.” Mom rested her chin on Dad’s shoulder, supporting him.
I wanted to look away from his pain-filled gaze, but I made myself keep eye contact with him. “I want to be there, Dad. I want to say goodbye.” The words felt hollow in my ears, surreal. We weren’t actually going to say goodbye to our uncle, were we?
Nika sat up straighter beside me. “Me too.”
Dad frowned as he glanced at Nika’s many healing wounds. “No, you stay and rest. Your mother and I will handle this,” he returned his gaze to me, “with Julian.”
Nika was about to protest, but I leaned forward and kissed her hair. “You’re tired and need your rest.” She gave me a dry look at hearing her words at the hospital being repeated back to her. Before she could start in on me, I added, “I’ll say goodbye for you. I’ll feel goodbye for you.”
She bit her lip, understanding; it would almost be the same as being there. Almost. With Nika accepting Dad’s decision, and the rest of my family finally conceding to Ben’s fate, I returned to the hospital with Mom, Dad, Halina, and Gabriel.
Walking through the halls filled me with dread. I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to be a part of this. But Ben meant something to my family, and seeing him off was the proper thing to do. Dad was equally glum as he walked in front of me with Mom. She rubbed his back encouragingly, but his head was down in contemplation. Even Halina seemed less self-assured as she followed behind me with Gabriel. No one really wanted to do this, but giving Ben a fresh start…before this life killed him…was the kindest thing we could do for him. It was our gift to him, in a way.
Dad paused before Ben’s door. Resting his hand
on the smooth wood, he inhaled a big breath. He took another second of reflection, then he swung open the door. Ben had always been so full of life and strength…seeing him in that hospital bed, his head wrapped in gauze, his body hooked up to beeping machines…it was jarring, to say the least. His confidence was still intact, though, as he smiled at our group of well-wishers. My heart sank at seeing the warmth in his smile. I was going to miss him…a lot.
Ben tried to sit up on his pillows, but it seemed to hurt him so he stayed where he was. Pointing a finger at the TV bolted to the wall, he smirked. “Thank God you’re here…there’s nothing good on.” He pressed a button on his bed, and the television instantly snapped off. The sudden disappearance of the background chatter made the tension in the air seem thicker. Swallowing nervously, I stared at my feet.
I looked up again when I heard Ben ask, “So, we get ‘em?” His light blue eyes flicked between all of us. When none of us answered, Ben frowned. A faint scar line along his lip deepened. “Why do you guys look so glum? I made it, I’ll be fine.”
Dad sat down on the edge of Ben’s bed, his eyes moist. “Ben…”
Ben let out a soft groan. “Damn, he got away, didn’t he? After all that, he—” Cutting himself off, he looked up at me. “Is Nika all right? Is she safe?”
A sad smile was on Dad’s face as he nodded. “She’s fine, Ben, and yeah, he got away…but he won’t be an issue for a while.”
Ben looked back at Dad. He was clearly confused, but he trusted Dad, so he didn’t question him any further. Lying his head back down on the pillows, he closed his eyes for a second. “That’s too bad. I was hoping you got the guy. He did shoot me, after all,” he whispered, cracking open an eye.
An amused grin was on Ben’s face. Mom sniffled and lowered her head, and Ben frowned again. “Seriously, what is with you guys?” His concern deepening, he asked, “Did someone…die?” His voice wavered as he spoke, overcome with just the idea of someone in my family not making it.
Dad shook his head. “We’re all fine…everyone is fine.” Dad swallowed, overcome by his own grief. “You did great, Ben.”
Still feeling despair in the air, Ben’s expression grew even more bemused. “Then what?” Eyes widening, he tried to sit up again. “Is it Olivia? Tracey? Did something happen?”
Dad put his hands on Ben’s shoulders, urging him to lie down. “No, no, they’re fine, Ben. It’s not them…” Sighing, Dad averted his eyes from his friend. “We’ve decided…that you…”
“That I what, Teren?”
Dad inhaled a big breath, then looked up at his friend. “You’ve done enough for our family…and we need to let you go.”
Ben’s jaw dropped as he looked between all of us. My heart broke watching his eyes fill, and I was instantly glad Nika wasn’t here for this. She was despondent over the loss of Ben, over the pain she could feel blossoming in me, but actually being here to see it happen…was almost too much. I bit my cheek to try to rein in my turmoil. Mom couldn’t hold back hers and was softly crying as Ben examined us.
His eyes swung back to Dad’s. “You’re wiping me? After everything we’ve been through…you’re wiping me?” Dad hung his head, and I saw a sparkle of moisture fall to his lap. Ben’s face hardened. “After everything I’ve done for you? Every sacrifice I’ve made?”
Dad snapped his head up. “Yes, because we never should have let you make them in the first place. How many times have you almost been killed because of me? How many times have you lied to Tracey because of me? Your marriage is a mess, you’re being kept apart from your daughter.” He flung his hand towards Ben’s injury. “You were shot in the freaking head, Ben! For me!” His voice lowered as he shook his head. “I won’t let you do it anymore. I’m not worth it…”
Ben grabbed Dad’s arm. “That’s not your call to make. You don’t get to decide who loves you, Teren. You don’t get to decide what people are willing to risk for you.”
Seeing that Dad wasn’t moved enough to change his mind, Ben’s eyes flashed to Halina’s. “I’ve earned the right to keep my mind, and you know it.”
Halina sighed. “I do, and you know that I respect you, but this is Teren’s wish, and I have agreed to it. But have no fear, I‘m going to give you the best life possible. You will have it all, Ben. A loving wife, a loving daughter, riches, security…friends. I’m going to give you the world.”
Ben looked back at Dad. “All I want is to be a part of your family.” A tear dropped to his cheek. “I’ll stay out of it, I’ll leave the vampire business to you, if that’s what you really want me to do…but I want to remember, Teren.” Dad closed his eyes, and Halina took a step forward. Ben looked between them, then looked up at Mom. “Emma…please?”
Mom started sobbing; it cut me like a knife, and I couldn’t hold in the tears anymore. “I’m sorry, Ben,” she said. “I don’t want you to die. I’m so sorry.”
Seeing that not even pleading was going to save him, anger heated Ben’s expression. Eyes narrowed, he looked back at Dad. “You can be a real prick sometimes, you know that?”
Dad frowned at Ben’s comment. “I’m not enjoying this.”
Ben crossed his arms over his chest and looked up at the ceiling. “I won’t forgive you for this, Teren. I may not remember it…but you’ll never have my forgiveness…and you’ll have to live with that.”
Dad sighed as he stood from the bed. “I know…”
Mom took his place, flinging her arms around Ben and sobbing into his shoulder. Ben wasn’t really in the mood to comfort her, but he loosely patted her back. Even though his face was stormy, I could tell he was trying to not break down. When Mom backed away, I tentatively walked over and gave him a quick hug.
“Bye, Uncle Ben,” I sniffled in his ear.
His face softened as he looked up at me. “Bye, kiddo. You keep your sister safe, all right?” I nodded, and Ben looked over my shoulder at Dad. “And make sure you give your pops some gray hairs for me.” Ben smirked, and my dad softly chuckled.
When I stepped back, Gabriel gave Ben a firm handshake. “It was an honor,” he intoned, slightly inclining his head.
“For me as well.” Ben sighed as Gabriel released his hand. “Tell Jordan and the others to…keep doing what they’re doing.”
Gabriel told him that he would, right as Halina stepped up to the bed. Ben swallowed as he looked up at her. “I gotta say, I’m surprised you agreed to this. I thought we had an understanding.”
Leaning down, Halina kissed the bandage over his injury. “We do…but you are only human, and will only ever be human, and at some point, living our life will kill you.” She smirked and patted his cheek. “And you’re far too attractive for that.”
Ben gave her a wry smile. Halina stared at him for a moment, then spoke in the foreign language she often used when she wanted to say something profound. “From one warrior to another, I thank you for your service to my family. Your sacrifices will not be forgotten…you will be missed.”
The look on Ben’s face was both touched and confused. He didn’t understand what she’d said, but he could tell by the look on her face that it was something meaningful. Grunting a little, I wiped my cheeks dry with my sleeve. I wasn’t crying as hard as Mom, but any sort of blubbering was embarrassing, and I wanted to be strong for Ben. Of course, I did have Nika’s heartbreak amplifying my own.
Dad looked away when Halina started in on the speech that would obliterate Ben’s mind. His remorseful eyes locked onto mine, and I saw the hard decision he’d just made in his morose expression. I wondered if I’d be able to make the same decision in his place. If Arianna’s life was in danger by knowing me, could I wipe her to protect her? Could I be that selfless?
“Ben, you have fought well for our family, but when I am done speaking, you will not remember a moment of it. You will remember nothing of vampires. You will remember nothing of Teren, Emma, and their children. You will remember nothing of the nest in Los Angeles. You will not remember any of us. You wi
ll think that you were in Salt Lake City on a business trip, and that your injuries were from a mugging. You will go back home, and you will stay there. You will never again return here.”
Dad sniffed and stared at his hands. Mom swallowed her grief, sat beside him, and put a comforting arm around him. Ben’s eyes were glued on Halina as she continued.
“You will stop your incessant lying to Tracey and find a way to fix the distance in your marriage. You will become a loving, devoted, and honest husband. You will shift your focus from protecting vampires to raising your daughter. You will put her needs above everyone else’s, save your wife’s. You will pursue a career that you love, but that will also sustain your family. You will excel at it without letting it overrun your life. You will find wealth and balance. You will be happy and have a good life…and vampires will only be a myth in your mind, easily discounted and dismissed.”
She finished with a warm smile. “Goodbye, Benjamin. It has been an honor.” She gave him a slight incline of her head, then twisted on her booted heel.
We all started to follow her out the door, since there was no point in staying anymore. Ben didn’t remember us. As I walked through the doorframe, a step before my dad, I heard Ben say, “You really stressed that honesty part. You think I ought to tell Tracey what you really are?”
Every single one of us froze in our tracks. Dad swung his eyes back to Ben; Ben was grinning. Dad snapped his head to Halina as she pushed me aside to storm back into the room. “He remembers? I thought he would forget the minute you were done talking?” Dad said.
Halina’s brows were furrowed as she stared at Ben’s cocky expression. “And so he should have.” Hands on her hips, she hissed out, “What did you do, Benjamin? Aside from insanely loud rock metal, there is no protection from compulsion.”
Ben shrugged and chuckled. “I don’t know, but I remember everything.” He frowned at Dad. “And you’re still a prick for trying to wipe me. Not cool.”