by Joanna Shupe
When she finally finished, the crowd leapt to their feet and broke out into thunderous applause. Madame Durham curtsied gracefully, barely lifting her emerald-colored skirts as she dipped. Mr. Durham also took a bow, then allowed his wife to walk forward and accept more accolades.
Finally, Kit led the couple back to the retiring room. “Thank you. That was absolutely tremendous. You are incredibly gifted, Madame Durham.”
She dabbed the perspiration off her forehead with a handkerchief. “Thank you. Nights such as this make the hours of training and practice worth it. I do love to perform.”
“It’s not as prestigious as Carnegie Hall, but you are welcome here anytime. I’d be honored.”
“As long as you stick to your promise, Mr. Ward,” she said.
Kit nodded, remembering their negotiation when she agreed to perform. Kit promised to host a yearly benefit for the company she recently created, the Black Durham Troubadours. The benefit would raise money to help sustain the troupe between performances. “I’ve signed the contract. Your lawyer will have it tomorrow.”
“Excellent. Will you make sure my driver is ready out front?” She reached for the teapot from earlier.
“I will. In the meantime, I’ll bring you fresh hot water. Would either of you care for dinner? We have lobster and duck.”
Madame Durham nodded. “That is kind of you. Yes, if it’s not too much trouble.”
Kit hurried to the kitchen, where he found Alice and Mrs. Henry wiping their eyes. Suppressing the urge to pull Alice into his arms, he leaned against the counter and folded his hands. “Did you enjoy Madame Durham’s performance?”
“I’ve never heard anything so beautiful,” Alice whispered.
“Me neither,” Mrs. Henry said as a fresh tear emerged. “I’m overcome with it.”
“Would you both like to meet her?”
Mrs. Henry smoothed her hair. “Oh, I couldn’t. I must look a fright.”
“You look beautiful,” Alice told her. “And I’ll come with you. I’d like to tell her how much I loved her singing.”
“She and her husband would like a dinner plate,” Kit said. “So if you’ll fix those up, I’ll take you back.”
Soon, they carried plates and a fresh teapot to Madame Durham and her husband. Alice chatted with the couple about Boston, then moved over to Kit’s side while Mrs. Henry continued to talk to the Durhams. Alice bumped his shoulder with her own. “How did the food go over?”
He leaned in and kept his voice low. “You were a smash. I cannot ever thank you enough.”
“Nonsense. You organized all of this, so you get the glory. I hope you’re quite proud.”
“I called in some favors.” He shrugged. “It was hardly saving lives.”
“Do not diminish your talents, Christopher Ward. You are remarkable. Enjoy this moment of satisfaction because you’ve earned it.”
His father’s voice still echoed in his brain.
You’re as shallow as a saucer, Christopher.
Don’t worry your pretty head over such important things, Kit.
You’re just like your old man, son.
It was hard to drown out the doubts and insecurities that lingered from childhood, but perhaps Alice was right. Perhaps it was time for him to stop diminishing his talents—or at least try to stop. “Thank you,” he told her honestly. “I am really going to miss you.”
She cocked her head and studied his eyes. “Where am I going?”
“Your mother returns tomorrow.”
“Oh, right.”
Nothing more needed to be said. Alice would continue her parties and balls, the drives in the park. There was no room for lessons, cooking or Kit. “I suppose your mother will faint dead away with happiness when she hears of your outing with Lockwood.”
Alice gave a tiny gasp of breath. “How did you—?” She shook her head and straightened her shoulders a touch. “It doesn’t mean anything. It was one drive.”
“In full view of New York society. He might as well have pissed on you.”
“Christopher!”
“Come on, Alice. You know how these things work. Besides, I’m happy for you.”
Biting her lip, she stared up at him through her lashes. “Are you?”
No, he wanted to say. I hate the idea of you with another man. I hate the idea that someone else will have the right to touch you whenever he wishes. But he couldn’t say any of that. Instead, he said, “Of course. He’s everything you want in a husband—boring, decent looking and lives far away.”
“Lockwood is not boring. Furthermore, he’s exceedingly handsome.”
A dark bitterness twisted in Kit’s belly, something poisonous and rotten. He hadn’t encountered it before, this feeling, and he didn’t like it one bit. “Bully for you, then. I wish you luck.” He pushed off the wall. “If you’ll excuse me, I should see to Madame Durham’s carriage.”
After hugging Opal and Sam, Alice hugged Mrs. Henry one more time. “Thank you for your help—and thank you for your patience with me. I never could have done this without you.”
“Nonsense. You could cook circles around any of those fancy hotel chefs any day of the week. This was truly my pleasure, miss.”
“Keep taking good care of him,” she whispered, and there was no doubt as to whom she referred.
“I will—though I am fairly certain this isn’t the last we’ll see of each other, miss.” With a nod of her head, she ushered her children out of the kitchen and into the night, leaving Alice to wonder over that comment.
She bid farewell to the other kitchen staff, as well, until only she and Nellie remained. Sitting on a stool, she stretched her back. “Goodness, I am exhausted. Feels as though I’ve just completed a three-day race.”
Nellie plucked a fresh raspberry off her dessert plate and popped it in her mouth. “Because you have. You should consider opening your own restaurant. Charles Ranhofer has nothing on you.”
Alice rolled her eyes, though she couldn’t prevent the grin from stretching her face. “Besides loads of experience and training.”
“And a penis.”
Alice’s skin went up in flames at the word, but she nodded. “Yes, that, too. Women do not work in restaurant or hotel kitchens. No one would ever take me seriously.”
“Well, you impressed the hell out of me.” Nellie scooped up the last of her charlotte russe and ate it. “God, this is divine.”
The kitchen door swung open and an older man with white hair and matching beard peeked inside. “Nellie, my dear. Time to go.”
“Oh, hello, Daddy.” Nellie went over and tugged on his arm, bringing him into the kitchen. “Come in and meet my friend.”
Goodness, this must be Mr. Cornelius Young. Nellie’s father was something of a legend on Wall Street, and he had more money than nearly anyone, save Carnegie and Morgan. Alice wiped her hands on her apron and held one out. “Hello, Mr. Young. It’s nice to meet you.”
He shook her hand, his blue eyes twinkling. “The pleasure is mine, Miss Lusk. Nellie has told me much about you since returning from Newport.”
She had? Alice snuck a quick glance at Nellie before responding to her father. “Your daughter is an incredible woman. I’m proud to call her my friend. Thank you for letting her come and help me tonight.”
Smiling fondly at his daughter, he said, “As if I could ever stop her from doing something when she puts her mind to it. She’s just like her mother.”
Nellie leaned up and kissed her father’s cheek. “Time to get you home, Daddy. Mrs. Paulson will be very cross if I keep you out too late.” She looked at Alice and whispered behind her hand, “His mistress.”
“Eleanor Young,” he chastised as his cheeks reddened. “Do not go telling everyone my business.”
“It’s almost the twentieth century, Daddy. We’re much more open-minded about these things nowadays. Besides, you’re a widower. You’re allowed to have fun.”
Turning to Alice, he said, “It was lovely to meet you, Mi
ss Lusk. I wish you luck with your future endeavors—which I hear might include the Duke of Lockwood.”
“What?” Nellie asked sharply, the smile falling from her face. “The duke?”
Alice shrugged, feeling conflicted about Lockwood after Kit’s comments earlier. “He took me for a drive. It’s nothing serious.”
“Oh. I had no idea,” Nellie said. “Good for you. Well, we should get going, Daddy.”
With final wave, Nellie left the kitchen with her father and Alice was alone. A quick glance out the door showed the club had nearly cleared out, too. The tables were empty, the dishes washed and the waiters dismissed. Kit was shaking hands and thanking the remaining guests, making them laugh and grin. He really was good at making others feel comfortable, for knowing what people wanted to hear. Everyone liked him. Including her.
I am really going to miss you.
Indeed, she was going to miss him, too. The notion of never seeing him again like this, where they could be alone, gutted her. Why had she gone and fallen for a man who would never love her back? Stupid, stupid Alice.
They still had tonight, though.
She was not about to give him up, not until tomorrow. Then she could deal with her heartache and regrets. She could sit and ponder all of the ways she could have acted differently, choices that would have protected her heart. But that was not for right now.
Because if this was the last time, she planned on making it count.
Leaving the kitchen, she found the washroom and freshened up. There was no time for a bath, so she did her best to wash off the sweat and grime of the evening. She likely smelled of duck fat and garlic, but there was no help for it now. When she emerged, only Kit and Preston were left in the dining room, sitting at a table and smoking cigars.
Preston saw her first. “Alice! Come over and celebrate with us.”
She lowered herself into a chair as Kit poured her a glass of champagne. “I thought you’d left,” he said, and placed the bottle on the table.
Was that relief or unhappiness in his voice? She couldn’t tell. “I wanted to see everyone else off before I departed.” And I wanted to see you alone.
Preston lifted his glass. “I predict memberships will sell out tomorrow. To a job well done!”
“To a job well done,” Kit said, and touched his glass to Preston’s.
They waited for Alice to do the same. She felt a bit like one of the Three Musketeers as she added, “To a job well done.”
They all drank, and Preston finished his champagne in two swallows. “Alice, you were dashed fantastic in there. I hope he offers you a full-time position.” He stood and clapped Kit on the shoulder. “Must run. I’m expected elsewhere.”
“Wait, don’t leave yet,” Kit said, a little desperately.
“Sorry, pal. You are on your own.” With a wink at Alice, Preston started across the tiled floor.
“You’ll let me know if the Pinkertons find Forrest?” Kit called.
“Of course. Good night, Alice!” Preston said, and disappeared.
Was Kit uninterested in being alone with her?
I want to give you everything, show you everything, but I know I haven’t the right.
Hardly uninterested. If she had to guess, he was being cautious. Because he didn’t trust himself alone with her?
That was promising. She slid a glance at him and found him staring at the unlit candle on the table.
My cock is hard all the time for you.
Was it still the case?
He spoke quietly, not looking at her. “You should go, before someone notices you are missing. You’ve been here since one o’clock and it is almost eleven.”
She wasn’t worried. She’d purchased her maid’s silence today by allowing Mary the night off to go to Staten Island to visit family. No one would notice the hour of Alice’s return. “Do you want me to leave?”
Throwing back the rest of the champagne, he grimaced. “I don’t want you in trouble for helping me.”
“I won’t be. Do you have plans tonight?”
“No.”
“Kit.” She waited until he finally met her gaze. His brown depths were swirling with emotion, as tortured as she’d ever seen. For a man who had organized such a triumphant evening, this turmoil surprised her. “Would you prefer it if I left?”
“Alice.” He sighed and rubbed his eyes. “It’s not about what I prefer. It’s about what is right.”
“You’ve never worried about society and its conventions before now.”
“Because I’ve never cared about anyone before. I care about you, Alice. I don’t want to see you hurt by an association with me. We should stop before something happens that we cannot take back, especially now when you have a real chance at attaining the future you’ve always wanted.”
He cared about her.
Kit cared about her.
Elation filled her, expanding in her chest like dough in a warm oven. Perhaps he didn’t wish to marry her, but he cared about her . . . so she could hold on to that for now.
Whatever happened, she would never regret it. And if this was the last time she saw him, then it was better to make the most of their final moments together.
With a confidence she felt in her bones, she rose and walked over to him. His wary gaze tracked her approach, his hand tightening on the table. Leaning down, she put her lips by his ear. “I’d like to see you in your office, Professor Ward.” Then she nipped his earlobe with her teeth. A satisfying gasp fell from his mouth, but she didn’t tease him further.
No, she needed to see what he’d do. Needed to see if he was willing to meet her halfway, if he wanted to continue their games together. Turning, she started for the back of the dining room, toward the door that led to his office.
What would he do now?
Chapter Twenty-One
Damn it.
Kit rubbed his brow, responsibility and craving at war in his head. The need for Alice was burning through him, a fire spreading through every cell—yet he shouldn’t. She would regret it later. After she married, she would regret giving Kit these firsts that should belong to her husband.
You never do the right thing. Why start now?
Because this was Alice and she deserved better than a little slap and tickle in the back office of his supper club. It had all been a lark at the house party, lessons in exchange for recipes, and he’d been so confident of his abilities. Never one to get attached or worry about anyone other than himself. The life of every party, the man no one took seriously.
But now, not even a month later, everything had changed and he was on the verge of madness, torn in two directions. Part of him longed to go back there, strip her out of those boring clothes and fuck her until she came on his cock. Yet, he could not live with himself afterward if he took something so precious from her.
I’m not like you. I cannot do what we are doing and not feel anything.
She had been right. It was selfish of him to lead her down the path to ruin without offering her marriage in return. Alice was not Lottie or Arabella, a woman who could separate feelings from sexual activity. Alice had a big heart and felt deeply for those around her. She had been raised to expect marriage to a decent man, one accepted in society. A man like Lockwood.
So, Kit had no right to defile her. But God, he longed to.
I’d like to see you in your office, Professor Ward.
Fuck.
His cock thickening, he stared at where she’d disappeared. What if he kept his clothes on and pleasured her one more time? They’d already crossed that line. Where was the harm in crossing it once more before he sent her back to her life of dukes and drives in the park?
You’re rationalizing.
Yes, without question. Yet the logic made sense. And he was losing the will to fight. If Alice wanted more pleasure from Kit’s hands and mouth, then who was he to deny her?
Clothes remain on. Give her an orgasm and load her into the carriage.
He could do that.
His gaze swept over bare arms, the delicate collarbones, the lines of her shapely legs . . . and he could hardly draw in a breath. It was too much to take in. Lust careened through his system, his nostrils flaring with the effort to remain still. His fingers clutched the wooden door like a rope thrown over the side of a cliff.
“Close and lock the door,” she said, her lips curving in apparent amusement.
His limbs moved automatically, doing as she asked, then he leaned against the wood. He didn’t speak; instead, he ran his tongue along the back of his teeth and contemplated all the ways he’d like to ravish her. His body throbbed with need, a constant drumbeat that echoed in his groin.
“Take off your coat and your vest.”
He stared at her elegant toes, her silk-covered calves, as he moved, thinking about how much he’d love those legs wrapped around his hips as he slid inside her. His coat and vest dropped to the wooden floor, and though he didn’t look away from her to check, he knew his erection was tenting the front of his trousers. Had he ever been this hard? The skin of his cock was stretched tight, blood pulsing in the veins and capillaries.
Still, he didn’t move.
“Now what?” he rasped.
She sat up slowly. “I want to see you. Touch you.” She bit her lip and her gaze dipped lower. “Lick you.”
Oh, God. She was going to kill him. He wanted that so badly, but he’d resolved himself not to push her further tonight. “We shouldn’t. I’ll lick you instead.”
They stared into each other’s eyes for a long minute. It was as if she looked straight into his soul, her brown gaze inspecting his every thought. He felt bare, exposed, like he couldn’t hide how much he wanted her. How much he craved her. Finally, her lips curved and she rose gracefully. “Later. Let’s do this my way first.”