Chapter Twenty-Two

Zoe

Ifelt like I was just waking up from a coma, not sure where I was, what time it was, what day. I rubbed at my eyes and groaned when I finally got a look at the time on my phone. I hadn’t slept for a few days, just six hours. At least I slept at all, I thought.
I wished I could say I didn’t remember anything from what had happened, that it had just been a bad nightmare, but I did. I did remember, and it made me feel sick to my stomach all over again. I swallowed down the bile rising in my throat and threw my legs over the side of the bed. My eyes finally adjusted to the dark, and thanks to the light still coming off my phone, I realized there were no lights coming in under my door. Just as I could remember everything that had happened early in the morning, I could also remember Dylan carrying me to my bed after he helped me out of the shower and holding me as I cried myself to sleep.
I checked my phone again and noticed a new text message that had come in at nine.
Dylan: I had to leave for work. I’m sorry, Zoe. After bailing on Jimmy yesterday, I couldn’t skip today’s shift, and I needed the hours. Let me know when you wake up, call or text me.
Bailing on Jimmy…?Had he skipped work the night before because of me? He said he needed the hours, which meant he needed the money. God, he needed the money, and because I’d fled after seeing him with another girl, he hadn’t gone to work. I felt awful, like a little shithead who had gotten jealous over nothing when he… I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. It was a little past one AM; was he still not back?
I pushed myself off the bed and felt a little dizzy, so I had to stand still for several seconds before I felt steady enough to move. The entire apartment was dark. Being as quiet as possible, I tried Dylan’s room after I made sure he wasn’t in the living room and prayed I’d find him there.
The moonlight streaming into the small room was enough for me to make out his still form lying on the narrow twin bed.
Something loosened inside of me. He was home. Tears rushed into my eyes and my throat closed up. Not even considering the fact that he probably needed his sleep after the crazy day we’d had, I crawled into his bed. There wasn’t enough space, but I thought there was just enough to make it work.
He jerked awake and his fingers closed around my upper arms before I could lie down.
“Zoe?” he croaked, sleep heavy in his voice, and then his grip loosened. “Are you okay?”
I would be, knew I’d be fine once I could feel his heartbeat and make sure he was real, make sure he was…everything that he was.
“I can’t sleep,” I whispered, my own voice sounding scratchy from all the crying I’d done. “And my head hurts a little.”
Obviously, it was a lie—not that I was hurting, but that I couldn’t sleep. Either way, I didn’t feel a single ounce of guilt for being a coward and not saying why I needed to be close to him. I just needed him to hold me in the dark where nothing could come between us—no secrets, no lies. I needed him to make me feel alive, and above all, I wanted to be with him, around him, near him…just with him, any way I could, simple as that.
I’d accepted the fact that no one would ever hug me like he’d hugged me in the shower, and I was fine with that; I’d just have to hold on to him stronger. No one would ever make me feel the things he so easily made me feel with just one of his teasing smiles, so why would I need anyone else? I didn’t care if half of me would have to dangle out of that twin bed because he was so big; I was getting in it, and that was that. Before I forced my way in next to him, Dylan shifted to his side and opened the covers.
A wordless invitation.
An offer for me to take the world.
I didn’t utter a single word. Facing away because otherwise I’d have to be right in his face, I lay down next to him and closed my eyes in relief. One of his arms went under my neck, the other slowly pulling the covers over us, and as the bed groaned under our weight, I shifted in place until my butt settled against his lower stomach. I stilled because even a very small, really tiny downward movement would bring me in contact with the thing between his legs, and I didn’t want him to think me being there was about that. I moved away until a third of my torso and my knees were dangling off the bed.
Dylan sighed, a heavy sound in all that loud silence that warmed my skin where my neck met my shoulder and made my eyes go all wonky. Then the arm under my head moved and he tugged me back, curling his elbow as he reached for my shoulder with his hand, trapping me in his embrace. His right forearm moved over my stomach, fingers gently diving under the t-shirt I had haphazardly put on after our shower, sending goose bumps all over my body. He stopped when half of his hand rested under the waistband of my PJs, his skin warming me from inside out.
“You’re going to fall off,” he whispered.
I was officially in a Dylan cocoon, and I couldn’t have felt cozier—hadn’t ever felt cozier, or happier.
I turned my head a few inches, and he nuzzled my neck with his nose.
“You’re okay?” he asked, his voice still gruff. It was perfect, so perfect.
Instead of a verbal answer, I angled my head, moved it up and down, and felt his smiling lips against my skin. If I attempted to speak, I was afraid I’d say more than I was ready to say.
Neither one of us spoke for several minutes. I had no idea what he was thinking, but my mind was working overtime.
Kayla, Mark, Chris—everything and nothing was coming at me at once, and there were two words I repeatedly heard over everything else.
Tell him. Tell him. Tell him.
“Shhh,” Dylan murmured, pressing his lips against my neck and lingering. “I can almost hear you thinking. Just go to sleep, baby. I’ll watch over you until morning.”
And he will, won’t he?I thought.
He’d help me breathe after scaring me to death. He’d save me from earthquakes, hold my hand after watching a scary movie, buy me pizza because he knew it’d make me happy, protect me from anything and everything by putting himself in front of the danger. He’d watch over me until morning.
When the lights came on, he’d still be there. After he learned all my secrets, he’d still be there, holding my hand—at least I hoped so.
“He forced her in front of his friends,” I said into the darkness. “How do you come back from that?”
“She has her friends. You’ll bring her back.”
“I don’t think I could’ve been as strong as she was today if it had happened to me. She’s loved him since she was sixteen, and he…”
His arms tightened around me, so I reached up to curl my hand around his forearm, holding on.
“You don’t have to think about that, not tonight. Go to sleep so you can be there for her tomorrow.”
A few minutes passed in silence and I wondered if he’d fallen asleep. “Dylan…”
“Shhh.”
“I like your voice,” I blurted out quietly.
His voice was so low when he hummed next to my ear. “Mmmm, you do?”
“Yes,” I murmured back as I closed my eyes to process that hum. “How was work?”
A short laugh as his chest shook behind me then a warm huff against my skin, making more goose bumps dance on my arms. “Same as always.”
That didn’t give me a chance to hear his voice all that much, did it?
“You must be so tired.”
He grunted, but even though I knew I was being selfish, I wasn’t ready to let him go. I guess it hadn’t been much of a lie when I’d told him I couldn’t sleep.
“When do you have to get up tomorrow?”
“You don’t have to worry about that. I won’t leave before you wake up again.”
“It’s not that…” Unconsciously, I started to move my thumb up and down through his arm hair. “Are you going to work out in the living room? Or are you meeting with Chris? Would it be okay if we skipped classes and hung out here after I spend some time with Kayla? But, it’s Monday, so you’ll have practice. I was just wonde—”
“Zoe,” he groaned and tilted his hips up, quieting me pretty efficiently with just one move. My finger stopped moving on his arm. As you can imagine, I could feel the thick, round head of his cock against my ass. “I’m already having a hard time as it is, Flash. If you keep moving your finger like that and talking in that husky voice, I’m not gonna be able to… Just let me hold you like this and go to sleep.”
I swallowed and nodded, but a few seconds later, I couldn’t help myself. I shimmied my butt then stilled when he groaned and his teeth grazed my neck.
Shifting in the small bed, his hand dragged lower on my stomach, causing me to hold my breath. Lower and lower he went until his palm lay flat over my underwear, just a few inches higher than the center of my body. A second later he pressed his palm against me and shifted higher in the bed at the same time, safely nestling not just the mushroom head but also the thick length of his erection right against me.
“Dylan,” I moaned, feeling a little dizzy and maybe a bit drunk on him as I restlessly tried to move my hips. I buried my face against his arm and, still holding his forearm with my left hand, put my right one over his hand on my lower stomach. Flipping his hand, he linked our fingers together and lay still.
I wasn’t ready to lay still. I was ready for anything but lying still.
His mouth gently sucked on my neck as his hips moved behind me, once…twice…thrice, just a slow roll of his hips, a barely there movement I might not have been able to feel if my entire body wasn’t screaming for him. I whimpered, my whole being electrified by his touch, down to my soul. Never in my life had I felt anything like it.
“I’m so tired, baby.” A kiss on my neck and then everything stopped. “And you just went through hell. You need your sleep—I’m not gonna do anything.”
“But—” I sputtered, earning myself another soft kiss that caused all kinds of tingles and shivers to go through my body.
“Sleep, baby.”
Are you kidding me?
He’d just played Tetris with our bodies and then what? I was supposed to just drift off to sleep?
I wouldn’t have thought so, but to my utter shock, I did just that. With his breathing steady and reassuring against my back, I did just that.