by Jill Shalvis
She couldn’t get close enough, and seeing pleasure cross his face, hearing it seep into his voice, assured her he felt the same. His knowing hands went about discovering every sweet spot, shifting clothing aside as needed. Somehow they managed to free the essentials, and sweet baby Jesus, his essentials . . . He came up with the promised condom and she nearly collapsed in gratitude that one of them was capable of rational thought. She took it from him and fumbled with it a bit. He tried to take over, but she wanted to do it, and smiled while he quivered and swore and begged her to get on with it. The second she had them protected, he lifted her and then lowered her down until she’d taken all of him.
Time stopped, completely stopped while they both took in the shocking, heart-stopping pleasure of being one. She’d started this, wanting to see him lose control, but she was the one doing just that. They moved in unison, together, until she was lost, rocking against him, fingers digging for purchase as waves of release hit her like a tidal wave.
She had no idea how long it took her to come back to herself, but when she opened her eyes, Levi’s face was still buried in her neck. He took several long, deep breaths before lifting his head. With the same hands that had just taken her to heaven and back, he adjusted their position so that she could slouch against him and set her head on his shoulder.
More time passed as he slowly swept his hands up and down her back. At one point, he started to say something and then stopped.
“What?” she whispered.
“I actually don’t have words.”
“Is that a good or bad thing?”
He nudged her face from the crook of his shoulder. Cupping it in his big hands, he kissed her, putting a whole bunch of what he was thinking into the kiss, so that by the time he pulled back, she could only smile dazedly. “A good thing, then.”
“More like amazing.” He looked around. The windows were completely fogged. The temperature had dropped too, and now that they weren’t actively creating enough heat to start an explosion, the chill was becoming pronounced. Reaching behind his seat, he produced a duffel bag. “Emergency kit,” he said as he pulled out a blanket and wrapped them up in it.
“You know what would be good? If you also had a cookies ’n’ cream cupcake in there.”
With a low chuckle, he wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling at her neck. “Sorry, no. But I’ve got some PowerBars and water.”
She wriggled in closer, loving the feel of his hard body beneath hers. And he was hard. Everywhere. “How about another condom?” she whispered.
This got her a sexy, heated smile that she took as a hell, yes. This time when they came together, it was slower, deeper, and just as shockingly good. And with it was the unspoken agreement that this, whatever this was, would continue to their mutual pleasure for as long as it worked.
Or for as long as they were both in Tahoe.
Because as she reminded everyone as often as she could, she was going to be gone soon. There would be no future. She’d made him promise her that. And hell if it wasn’t both a huge relief and her greatest regret.
THE NEXT MORNING, Jane jerked awake at the rude sound of her alarm. She’d set it early to get a ride from Mateo out to her car. Fumbling for her phone, she hurriedly slapped snooze, not ready to rise and shine.
She and Levi had stayed up on the Tahoe Rim Trail until two thirty in the morning. Which had been three short hours ago.
Basking in the wonderfulness of that, she staggered into the shower. Ten minutes later, she was back in her room, hunting for clothes, when Levi called.
“Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
The sound of his low, sleep-roughened voice had her smiling like an idiot. “I think you know that I am.”
He gave a soft laugh.
Silence.
Memories.
Longing.
“So . . .” she managed. “Are we going to be uncomfortable around each other now?”
“Does it feel uncomfortable?”
She let out the breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding as relief flooded her. She loved his candidness and felt grateful for it. “I’m glad nothing’s changed,” she said softly.
“Not even if we made this real.”
Her heart stopped at the thought of doing just that, and because it did, she forced herself to joke away the odd ache his words had brought. “Oh, sure,” she teased, “you say that now, but before I knew it, it’d be all healthy food and anal sex.”
She heard a choking sound.
Then a rustling and a good amount of swearing.
“Levi?”
“Just snorted coffee up my nose.”
She laughed.
He was quiet a moment and she assumed he was mopping himself up. Then he asked quietly, “Any regrets?”
“No,” she said, and meant it.
“Good. Your car’s out front. I charged your battery. You should be good to go.”
“Wait— You did? But . . . you must have gotten up hours ago.”
“Did it after I drove you home. Mateo gave me a ride out there.”
That he and Mateo had skipped out on sleep to do such a thing for her boggled her mind. But maybe it shouldn’t. Levi had already proven he’d do just about anything for her. “Thank you.”
“Anytime. Later, Jane.”
“Later,” she whispered, wondering why it sounded like a promise. She went down to the kitchen and straight to the coffee maker, staring at it until it produced twelve ounces of blessed caffeine.
As she slurped it as fast as she could without burning the skin of the roof of her mouth off, Charlotte stepped into the room. She took one look at Jane and said, “Whoa.”
“What?”
“You’re wearing a smile. In the A.M. hours. What’s that about?”
Jane had noticed the smile when she’d brushed her teeth, but she’d been unable to get rid of it, so she shrugged.
Charlotte studied her more closely and gasped. “Oh my God.”
Jane did her best to ignore this, pouring herself a bowl of cereal. She made a big production of adding milk and searching for a spoon. When she looked up, Charlotte gave her a brow waggle.
Jane gave her a prim look. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say.”
“Yeah, you do.”
“Fine.” Jane tossed up her hands. “Yes, Mom, he got to first base, okay? In fact, we had a couple of home runs and several victory laps. Are you satisfied?”
Charlotte’s laugh was infectious, and Jane sighed and stopped fighting her ridiculous smile.
Coming close, Charlotte cupped Jane’s face and looked into her eyes. “I’m happy for you.”
“It was just one night.”
“It could turn into more if you let it.”
For a single second she allowed herself the luxury of wanting more. “You know I’m not built that way.”
“Jane.”
She grabbed her keys and turned back to her landlord, her roommate, her friend, and one of her favorite people on the planet. “I’m not.”
“People change.”
Jane pointed at her. “I will if you will.”
“Hey,” Charlotte said. Sighed. “And fair.”
Jane stopped to refill her cup and then went still at the sight of a trophy on the counter. She had no idea what the original plaque said because it had been marked by what appeared to be a Sharpie, and now read:
Head in Charge of Everything and Ruler of the Annual Moreno Snowball Challenge
Jane looked at Charlotte.
Charlotte was suddenly fascinated with making her own cup of coffee.
“Charlotte.”
“Jane.”
“Did you partake in a . . .” She read the trophy again. “Snowball challenge?”
“I partook. I won.” Charlotte grinned, looking way younger than her thirty-nine years. “I kicked ass. Including Mateo’s.”
Jane grinned. “That’s my girl.” She headed to the door.
“W
hat if you’re running from something that might turn out to be really good?” Charlotte asked her back.
The thing was, Jane hadn’t survived on what-ifs.
“What if being with Levi would turn out to be one of the best things in your life? You’re just going to ignore it?” Charlotte asked.
“Uh-huh. Pot, I’d like you to meet Kettle.”
“I’m not running,” Charlotte said. “I’m staying put.”
“Physically, sure. But we both know that you’re holding back emotionally with Mateo because you’re afraid your past will keep you from leading a happy and full life. Problem is, that makes you a walking/talking self-fulfilling prophecy.”
Charlotte sucked in a breath. “So you’re saying I’m being a hypocrite.”
Jane held up her hand with her first finger and thumb half an inch apart.
Charlotte sat back, looking surprised and then thoughtful. “Well, damn.”
“What?”
“You’re right.”
Jane laughed. “Duh.”
“But we’re also both wrong. We’re holding back with our hearts on two men who deserve the best of us, and I don’t mean that our lives can’t be full without a man in them. I mean that maybe love could possibly enrich or enhance our lives. But . . .” She bit her lip.
“Yeah. But.” Jane drew a deep breath. “We need to find a way to move on from our pasts.”
“I will if you will,” Charlotte said, throwing Jane’s words back at her.
Jane had to admit, it was tempting. On a rough laugh, she left for work.
But the smile stuck all day long.
Chapter 20
Levi awoke to someone poking him in the cheek. When he didn’t open his eyes right away, little fingers pried one open for him.
Peyton’s face was two inches from his, with her faithful minion Jasper right behind her. “Hi!” she said at a high decibel. “You’re awake! Hi!”
Yes, they did this every single morning. And yes, every single evening when he kissed her good night, he also begged her not to poke him awake the next morning. She always smiled sweetly and said, “I promise,” but yet here they were.
“Tonight’s Grandma and Grandpa’s anniversary dinner!” Peyton grinned. “We finally get to meet Jane!”
“Yes,” he said sleepily. He hadn’t gotten much sleep the last couple of weeks. The night up on the Tahoe Rim Trail with Jane had started it, but he’d gladly forgo sleep every single night just to be with her.
And had. The thought made him smile. Just last night, he’d met her at her grandpa’s house, where they’d had takeout dinner, and afterward had made bread with one of Jane’s grandma’s old recipes.
“Betty’s recipe never fails,” Lloyd had said proudly as they’d all stuffed themselves with one of the two incredible loaves they’d made.
“Good enough to take to your mom’s tomorrow night for their anniversary dinner?” Jane had asked, nerves evident.
He’d leaned over the cutting board that had only crumbs on it and had kissed her right in front of her grandpa.
Jane had grinned at him. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Everyone’s going to love it, and you,” Levi had promised, and meant it.
“What’s not to love about a big family dinner?” Lloyd said. “I don’t remember much, but I know how much I miss those.”
Jane had paused. Looked at Levi, who had nodded, then drew a breath. “You can go with me, if you’d like.”
Lloyd smiled. “Really?” he’d asked softly, hopefully, also disbelievingly.
“Really,” Jane had whispered back.
Now Levi looked into Peyton’s eyes. “Did you bring Apple Jacks?”
She gave a slow shake of her head, ponytails bouncing. “Momma said no more food outside of the kitchen cuz of Jasper.”
At her side, Jasper panted a happy, ever-hopeful smile, completely unrepentant.
“I’m going to be an astronaut,” Peyton said apropos of nothing. “I’m going to be the first human to land on Jupiter.”
“Sounds good,” Levi said. “But you can’t actually land on Jupiter. It’s made of gas and has no solid surface. Same with Saturn and Neptune.”
She nodded sagely. “Grandma says I’m going to be as smart as you. Which means I’ll find a way to land on Jupiter.”
“If anyone can do it, you can,” he said.
She beamed at him with her two missing front teeth. “You’re smiling this morning.”
He was.
“Just like yesterday morning.”
True story.
“And the morning before that. Why are you smiling in the mornings now?”
“Are you six, or thirty?”
“I’m six, silly,” Peyton said, giggling, and began climbing the couch to get to him.
“Peyton!” Tess yelled from down the hallway. “Are you bothering Uncle Levi again?”
“Nope!”
There came a snort from the desk. His dad.
“I really love my community bedroom,” Levi said, just as it occurred to him that after tonight’s dinner, he was pretty much free to leave. He was healed from his concussion. He’d found the source of the money leak, and they had a lawyer involved now. It was only a matter of time before Cal had to face what he’d done.
But he knew he wasn’t going back to San Francisco. At least not permanently. There was land for sale not too far from where he’d taken Jane up on the Tahoe Rim Trail.
It was a great investment, but that’s not why he wanted it. He wanted to build a house that he could someday raise his kids in. And maybe one of them would come back as an adult and bitch about sleeping on the pullout couch bed . . .
Not that he was ready to share that yet. Hell, he’d barely come to terms with the idea himself.
“Do you know what your mother is doing?” his dad asked.
“Not my turn to watch her.”
“Smartass. She’s rearranging furniture for tonight’s anniversary dinner. She’s so excited, she’s already dressed for it, and is it because she and I are celebrating the big four-oh? No. It’s because we’ll finally get to meet Jane.”
Welp, that did it. Levi’s smile couldn’t hold up to that. He rose to his feet. “Don’t you mean you’ll get to meet her for the second time? Yeah,” he said at the flicker of guilt behind his dad’s eyes. “I know you went to the hospital to meet her. Just like Mom coaxed her into the humane society with a fake email.”
“Not fake,” his mom said, coming into the room. “It was a real email. She got her adorable rescue cat treated at a discount.”
“How did you even know she had a pet?”
“I didn’t. I got lucky.”
Levi shook his head at her. “You met her under false pretenses.”
Tess appeared in the doorway, and Levi spared a hard look for her as well. “None of you told her the truth about who you are.” Shaking his head, he went to walk past his sister, but stopped and looked her in the eyes. “What do you think is going to happen when she shows up later and finds all her new friends here? How is she supposed to feel about you guys and the deception you pulled off? Or me, for that matter, since I didn’t blow the whistle on any of you.”
His mom’s expression was pure guilt, but she lifted her chin. “Maybe she’s going to think you’re so well loved that we just wanted to make sure she was good enough for you. Because it’s true, honey. I’ve waited a long time for you to find someone after Amy. And once you did, I had to know that she was going to be good for you.”
His dad just nodded. In fact, they all nodded in unison like a pack of bobbleheads of the Three Stooges.
Levi just shook his head. “I’m going to shower. You all might want to work on what you’re going to say to her when she arrives. I have my own groveling to do.” Because he’d made his own mistakes with Jane, and at some point he was going to pay the price for those mistakes. A price that would undoubtedly be high.
As in losing her.
An hou
r later he was in the back booth at the Stovetop Diner, at what he’d come to think of as his temporary “office”—much to his mom’s dismay, as she’d hoped he’d make a place for himself in the store’s office. And he went there too, but the diner suited his purposes better.
He liked the organized chaos going on all around him, and yet not involving him. He liked the owner of the diner, who happened to be one of Mateo’s cousins. He liked the way everyone left him alone to his own devices. Mostly, that is. Because just then Mateo slid onto the seat across from him.
At least he was bearing gifts in the way of two plates loaded with bacon, eggs, and pancakes. He slid one to Levi and then waited for him to take his first bite before saying, “Heard you put a bid in for that property up in Hidden Falls.”
Levi choked on that bite.
Mateo smiled. “You’re finally doing what I’ve been trying to get you to do for years. You’re coming back.”
Levi managed to suck air into his taxed lungs and eyed his oldest, very smug-looking friend. “Want to tell me how you know about the bid I put on those fifteen acres less than an hour ago?”
“Ah, man, you know how it is. Everyone knows everyone. Hell, it’s Sunrise Cove. You can leave your car unlocked, but there’s no such thing as privacy.”
Levi just looked at him. “Leave your car unlocked and you’ll get a bear.”
Mateo smiled. “God, that was fun. What were we? Seventeen? And you left a bag of chips in your dad’s new car, not a week after he’d bought it, and a bear climbed in and ate the chips and his steering wheel.”
And his console. “He nearly killed me.” Levi scrubbed a hand down his face. “Good times. And how do you know about the land? And don’t tell me a bear told you.”
“Okay, fine. The real estate agent you’re using for the purchase is my cousin’s sister-in-law’s mom. And yeah, yeah, I know, I’ve got a lot of cousins.”
Jesus. Why did he want to move back here again? Because even though they drive you crazy, you miss your family. “Just tell me my mom and dad don’t already know.”
“They don’t know. Yet.”
Levi groaned.
“You’re surprised? Come on, you know them better than anyone. Your mom’s name should be Sherlock Holmes. Face it, they’re going to hear about this.”