Page 35

The Ending I Want Page 35

by Samantha Towle


“And what would I be saying yes to?” Her eyes lift, her words are careful.

She knows what I’m asking; she just wants me to say the words. And she deserves those words and so much more.

“Marrying me.”

“Are you asking or telling?” Her lips tip up at the corners.

“Both.” I laugh softly. Then, I turn serious. “Marry me.” I take my grandmother’s ring from the box and hold it up between us.

Her eyes go back to the ring for what feels like a really fucking long time.

Then, I watch, nervous as hell, as she picks up the notepad and pen. She holds it at an angle, so I can’t see what she’s writing.

My heart is pounding so hard in my chest that I’m pretty sure I’ve cracked a rib. But I don’t care. All I care about is what she’s about to tell me.

Taylor puts the pen down and looks back at me, staring into my eyes.

I see what’s in hers. I see her answer.

She turns the notepad around.

“Yes,” I whisper, my heart soaring, as I read the word she’s written…the word I see clear in her eyes.

“Yes.” She smiles.

And my world is complete.

I take that notepad from her hand and toss it on the bed. I slip the ring onto her finger, and then I kiss her like there’s no tomorrow.

Only there is a tomorrow and a lot of tomorrows to come after it.

Because there is no ending for Taylor and me. Only me and her and a lifetime of possibilities.

And a list.

Our list.

And it’s a list that will never end because we’ll keep adding to it, and we’ll keep living our adventure together.

Forever.

Before I get to giving my thanks to anyone else, I want to say the biggest thank you to all the bloggers and readers, who help spread the word about my books. I write the books, but it’s you guys who make it possible for me to keep doing so. Thank you a million times over.

I may write the books, but it isn’t a solo endeavor. There are people behind the scenes who help work and shape my words into the books you read. I’m incredibly lucky to work with people like Sali Benbow-Powers—Queen Beta Reader! Jovana Shirley—Queen Editor! Najla Qamber—Queen Cover Designer! You three make my books become the very best they can be.

Trishy, you’re the best long-distance friend a girl could ask for. Thank you for reading my work and for always giving me the honest feedback that I need even if I don’t always want to hear it!

Jodi Maliszewski, asking you to read The Ending I Want as I was writing it was the best decision ever. Seriously, you can brighten the darkest day, and somehow, you made writing a sad story fun. Don’t ever stop being you.

My husband, Craig, who I couldn’t do any of this without, and my children, simply for being you. You three truly are the best people I know.

And I just want to put in a note before I go. Writing The Ending I Want has been a cathartic and exhausting process for me, but I have loved every second of writing it. I relate to this story more than any of the stories that I’ve written before. Maybe that’s because there’s a piece of me in this book. And not in Taylor having a brain tumor because, fortunately, I’ve never had to endure anything like that. But, for me, it was the need to feel free from something that has crippled me for many years, just like Taylor is crippled by her own pain. Taylor wanted to die to be free. I never wanted to die, but I did want to be free in a way that’s hard to explain. But, now, after years of feeling trapped by my demons, by things that have held me back in life, I’ve found a way to get the freedom I needed. I’m still a work in progress, but I’m working better now than I ever did before. Just saying this cryptic stuff out loud is a big step for me. So, writing Taylor in the way I did was a big deal for me. I really hope that you loved this story and see strength in Taylor’s choices rather than weakness.

SAMANTHA TOWLE is a New York Times, USA Today, and Wall Street Journal bestselling author. She began her first novel in 2008 while on maternity leave. She completed the manuscript five months later and hasn’t stopped writing since.

She is the author of contemporary romances, The Storm Series, The Revved Series, and standalones, Trouble and When I Was Yours. She has also written paranormal romances, The Bringer and The Alexandra Jones Series, all penned to tunes of The Killers, Kings of Leon, Adele, The Doors, Oasis, Fleetwood Mac, Lana Del Rey, and more of her favorite musicians.

A native of Hull and a graduate of Salford University, she lives with her husband, Craig, in East Yorkshire with their son and daughter.