“I do,” he said. “Has she asked why I am here and not Benoit?”
“Nay,” she said. But her gazed fixed on him for a few moments before continuing. “I know you spoke to my father this afternoon. I saw you go into the keep with him after we arrived. You told him everything, didn’t you?”
Trenton couldn’t decide if she sounded perturbed or relieved. “As much as I dared,” he said quietly. “When we arrived, he asked right away where Benoit was, and I could not lie to him. I hope you understand that.”
She nodded quickly. “I do, of course,” she said. “I had hoped that it would come from me, but I understand you had no choice. All he has said to me about it is that he spoke with you, but I am sure he and I will speak more in-depth about it at some point. And I am certain he has not told my mother because she asked me where Benoit was. I told her that he was away and quickly changed the subject. She has not asked anything more.”
Trenton nodded and sat down, looking up at her expectantly until she sat down, too. The bench wasn’t very large which meant she was sitting rather close to him. Trenton received the distinct impression that she was sitting on the edge of the bench so that their bodies wouldn’t brush against one another, because with his bulk, he was easily taking up half of it.
“You should know that my girls are already demanding to see their ponies,” she said, making conversation. “They are trying to convince my father to take them out to the stables even now.”
Trenton gave her a half-grin. “I am pleased that they are so happy,” he said. “Besides, I know what it is like to have a new horse. It is a very exciting time.”
Lysabel was looking up at the stars, nodding her head. But, in truth, she hadn’t come out here at the request of her mother.
She came out here all on her own.
Oh, she’d lied to him. Quite blatantly. When she saw Trenton leave the great hall, she’d waited a short amount of time before telling her mother she needed to use the privy and fled, following Trenton’s trail as he left the keep.
She had ulterior motives. She’d been watching Trenton throughout the entire meal, even sending her mother to invite him to sit with them, but he had declined. He seemed rather standoffish. They hadn’t had much opportunity to talk this day because most of the focus was on the girls, the ponies, and when they’d arrived at Wellesbourne, he immediately disappeared with her father. She’d known why, and he had just confirmed it.
Still, she wondered if somehow, someway, she had displeased him. He would hardly even look at her.
Then she began to obsess over it, wondering what she could have done to upset him. Lysabel had known that once they reached Wellesbourne Castle, there would be no reason for him to remain, and she didn’t want him leaving whilst upset with her. He’d done his duty – he’d come to Stretford to make sure she had recovered from Benoit’s beating, and then he’d brought her on to Wellesbourne. She was coming to think that she had imposed on him too much in asking him to escort her to Wellesbourne.
She couldn’t imagine any other issue.
With that in mind, she continued the conversation.
“I wanted to thank you again for escorting my daughters and me to Wellesbourne,” she said. “It was very kind of you to do so.”
He simply dipped his head. “It was my pleasure.”
“Where will you go now?”
He turned to look at her. “I have only just gotten here,” he said. “Are you throwing me out already?”
She giggled. “Of course not,” she said. “But you certainly do not plan to remain here forever. I was just wondering where you were going when you departed.”
He shrugged, his gaze returning to the heavens. “Back to London. Back to what the king has planned for me.”
He didn’t sound too enthused. Lysabel looked at him, cocking her head so she could see his face more clearly. “You do not sound as if you want to go,” she said. “I thought you liked serving the king.”
“I do,” he said. “But… well, it has been a very long time since I have been at Wellesbourne. It reminds me of better days. Happier days.”
“Are you so unhappy?”
“Not necessarily. But it does remind me of days when I had less burdens and less sorrows.”
“Like your father?”
He looked at her then. “Why would you say that?”
She lifted her shoulders. “I am not certain. I suppose it was the way you said it.”
His gaze lingered on her. “Then you are astute,” he said. “Aye, I worry over my father. And other things.”
And other things. Lysabel wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but she could feel something radiating from his eyes when he looked at her. Could it be… warmth? Certainly, it was the warmth of an old friend, his natural concern towards her, but as she looked at him, she swore that there was something more to it.
And that realization shocked her.
Is it actually possible? She thought. Would Trenton ever look at me as more than someone he once knew in his youth? It had been a very long time since a man looked at her with such interest and she’d forgotten what it had felt like. It made her heart flutter and she could feel her cheeks grow warm.
God, she was ashamed to even think that a man as powerful and important as Trenton de Russe could ever look at her in such a manner. Her life was in turmoil, she was newly widowed, and she had two small children in tow. Something like that would be most unappealing to a potential husband. Moreover, she was damaged goods, and the reality of the situation was that a man like Trenton didn’t want damaged goods.
It was a hugely disappointing thought.
“I am sorry for your burdens,” she said, averting her gaze because her entire body was beginning to quiver with the way he was looking at her. “You have a great deal that you are responsible for and I do apologize if escorting my children and me to Wellesbourne added to them. I suppose I should not have asked you, but I knew we would be safe with you. If that was inconvenient, then I am sorry.”
“Inconvenient?” he repeated. “If I thought so, I would not have done it. I enjoyed it.”
“But you spent good money on two ponies.”
“It was the best money I have ever spent.”
“You know my children will never forget you. Any man who would buy them ponies is their friend for life.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “Never forget me? Now you are making it sound as if I will never see any of you again.”
She smiled. “I did not mean to,” she said. “But I am equally sure we will not see you frequently in the future. You are a very busy man. But it would be nice… for the girls… if you could see them when it is convenient. You have been a great friend to them and other than my father, they’ve not had kind men in their lives.”
Trenton was coming to think that the conversation was taking a fortuitous turn. He could either agree with her full statement, or he could contest parts of it. Especially the part about not seeing them frequently in the future. The more he looked at her, the more he knew that, against his better judgment, he was going to say something he probably shouldn’t.
He should simply keep his mouth shut.
But he couldn’t.
“I would like to see Cinny and Cissy often, if you will permit it,” he said. “And I should also like to see you.”
She looked at him, her features registering surprise. “Me? But you needn’t worry about me. I will be fine. Papa will make sure of it, so you needn’t trouble yourself.”
“It is no trouble,” he said, sensing that she didn’t get his hint. “And I would not return to see how you are faring. I know you are well and safe. I would return simply for the joy of seeing you.”
Lysabel’s expression was one of confusion. “But… why?”
He sighed sharply and stood up from the bench. “Lysabel, you are making this most difficult,” he said, sounding like he was scolding her again. “I want to come back to see you because… well, I want to see you. I want to t
alk to you, and laugh with you, and see you smile. Do you not understand my meaning?”
Now, she did, and she averted her gaze in shock. All of those thoughts she’d just had about a man like Trenton de Russe and the type of women he would want came flooding back on her, stronger than before. She understood him; aye, she did. Plainly. But it simply wasn’t possible.
… was it?
“Trenton, you cannot,” she whispered. “You must not say such things.”
“Why not?”
Now, it was her turn to grow agitated. Standing up, she began to wring her hands. “Because… because you cannot,” she said. “Please do not misunderstand… you are a magnificent man and if I could… if there was any chance… I would be most honored and delighted. But I am newly widowed. In fact, men do not even know that Benoit is dead. It would reflect terribly upon you should you show any attention towards me.”
Trenton understood her point of view and he agreed with it, but something inside of him simply couldn’t let it go. He should, and he knew he should, but he couldn’t.
“Then you reject me on moral grounds,” he said. “Not because you do not find me… appealing.”
She looked at him, sharply. In spite of the shocking conversation, a smile flickered on her lips. “I remember thinking when I first saw you how handsome you had become,” she said. “And I lied to you about dreaming of Dane when I was a girl. It was really you I dreamt of, though I did not want you to know it.”
He flashed a smile, his teeth gleaming. “I knew it,” he hissed. “There is no world in which my brother outshines me.”
It was a moment of levity in an otherwise serious conversation. They both giggled, a nervous and giddy gesture. It was Lysabel who sobered first.
“Nay,” she murmured. “He does not outshine you. In my eyes, he never has. And what you have said to me… Trenton, I shall live on it for the rest of my life. But I am not suitable for you. I am damaged, as you know. It is a shameful thing.”
His smile quickly faded. “God’s Bones, woman,” he muttered. “You are the most perfect creature I have ever seen, inside and out. There is such strength and dignity in you. Even that night… that night I took Benoit away, I remember thinking how very strong you were in the face of everything. That is something remarkable, Lysabel. You are the most worthy woman I have ever known.”
As Trenton watched, tears filled her eyes. He could see it in the moonlight. “That is the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me,” she whispered. “You cannot know what it means to me to hear you say that. Even so, I have much healing to do, Trenton. I am in no position, mentally or physically, to entertain a man’s attention, not even from someone as wonderful as you.”
“Then let me help you,” he said. He was uncomfortable with saying such things to her, but he couldn’t help himself. “Let me come to visit you. Let me sit and talk to you as if there are no troubles on this earth. I cannot tell you what the past few days have meant to me. My world is filled with death and destruction, but the day I returned to Stretford, I was met with a world I’d never seen before. Little girls who want ponies, who see the world with such innocence… I have never known anything like that before and I do not want to lose sight of it.”
Lysabel was overwhelmed with the conversation. She was thrilled and crushed all at the same time.
“If this had been any other circumstance,” she said softly. “If Benoit had been dead a year, and everyone knew it, or if you had said this to me years ago before I knew Benoit, then I would be the most fortunate lady in all of England to have your attention. I would bask in it. But what you are suggesting… I am so afraid it would go badly for both of us.”
She was right, but he wasn’t going to admit it. He wasn’t going to give up. With a faint sigh, he closed the gap between them, watching her recoil from him slightly, wary of his very close proximity. Reaching out, he gently took her hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing it tenderly.
“I understand your fears,” he murmured. “I have no right to press my attentions. I know that. But know that I would never do anything to bring you shame or harm you, at least not maliciously. All I ask is that you let me show you how a man can be kind to you. Nothing more, nothing less. I promise I shall be discreet in every way, but you deserve to be showered with affection and kindness, Lysabel. Please do not deny me that great honor. Please let me show my affection for you.”
Lysabel was swept away by his words and by his touch. When he kissed her hand again, she could feel the earth move beneath her feet. Everything felt as if it was rocking around, but it was the most wonderful feeling in the world. Trenton de Russe, that enormous and frightening knight, the one who had saved her from a fate worse than death, wanted to help her heal. He wanted to show her what it meant for a man to be kind to a woman.
God… how could she resist?
She couldn’t. It was against her better judgment, but there was a huge part of her that wanted his kindness. Perhaps even needed it. In any case, she couldn’t resist him. Already, she was swept up with the feelings he was creating within her and they were more powerful than she was.
“How can I deny a man who bought my children ponies?” she breathed.
He grinned. “You cannot,” he said. “It was all part of my master plan.”
“Was it really.”
“Nay.”
She believed him. Lysabel smiled at him, and he smiled in return. And suddenly, his lips were slanting over hers and his arms were going around her body. It was a kiss of enormous proportions, a kiss that was heated and sensual, delicious and naughty. It was all those things and as Lysabel fell against his warm, powerful body, all she could feel was utter surrender.
There was no resisting the man.
She didn’t want to.
Any romantic kiss she’d ever been given had come from Benoit, who had no sense of gentleness. He would kiss her so hard that there had been times he’d driven her teeth into her cheek, drawing blood. She would avoid his kisses as much as he could, but with Trenton, it was as if an entirely new world had opened up. No pain, no roughness – simply warm and sensual. Very quickly, Lysabel realized that she liked it very much.
She wanted more.
She must have given Trenton a sign of her eagerness, a wordless invitation to ravage her, because his tongue licked at her, prying her lips open and invading her mouth. His hands were in her hair, holding her head steadfast as if fearful she’d pull away. Somehow, he backed her against the garden wall and that was where things grew heated.
Now, she was a captive audience.
Normally, being unable to move would have sent Lysabel into a panic, but with Trenton, she was a willing victim. His mouth moved over her chin, her neck, suckling her gently and sending bolts of excitement through her. Being that she wasn’t a virgin, she knew what it meant to have a man touch her intimately, and when his big hand moved to her breasts, she didn’t flinch away from him. She welcomed it.
Dear God… is this what it means to be touched by a man? Is this how it is supposed to be?
All she’d ever known with Benoit was the violence of the act, not the joy of it. Trenton gently fondled her right breast, timidly at first, but with increasing confidence when she didn’t push him away. As her breath came in unsteady gasps, Lysabel reached up and unfastened the ties on her bodice. When Trenton realized what she was doing, he helped her. The ties came away and he yanked the top shoulder of her garment down, enough to expose her right breast.
His hot mouth clamped down on a tender nipple and Lysabel gasped with shock at the unadulterated pleasure of it. She shoved her hand into her mouth, biting off her cries as Trenton suckled her, his big body and imposing presence smothering her. But Lysabel had never felt safer or more cherished. For the first time in her life, she wasn’t afraid of a man’s touch.
It was as if she could feel for the very first time.
His hands were everywhere, touching her carefully, while his mouth seemed to nibble every bit of
expose flesh it could. Lysabel was absolutely helpless against his onslaught, her hands on his broad shoulders, bracing herself so she wouldn’t fall right to the ground. For certain, it was the only thing holding her upright at the moment. Her legs were as wobbly as a newborn colt’s.
Somewhere in the distance, a sentry’s cry roused them both from their haze of passion and Trenton’s head shot up, alert for any unwanted interruptions or prying eyes. But he knew they were exposed in the garden as they were, and his enormous hands went to her face, cupping her cheeks and forcing her to look at him.
“Forgive me for taking the liberties, but I cannot help myself,” he whispered, kissing her yet again. “I suppose I could say it is a foretaste of what is to come, but the truth is that I shall never get you out of my mind, not ever. Now that I have tasted you, I want all of you.”
Lysabel found herself looking into his dark, glittering eyes, her heart beating so forcefully that she was certain he could hear it.
“Tonight,” she whispered. “After the girls are asleep. There is a small service room in the vault, at the base of the stairs. Do you know which chamber I speak of?”
He nodded. “I do.”
“I will be there.”
Without another word, she fled the garden, leaving Trenton breathless and trembling. He’d never felt so aroused in his entire life.
The night was about to get interesting.
CHAPTER EIGHT
It was just after midnight when Trenton entered the small, dimly-lit chamber at the base of the stairs to find Lysabel waiting for him.
It was a room used by the servants at times, in a section of the vault that was fairly empty, so there wasn’t a good deal of traffic about. Considering the clandestine nature of their meeting, that was a good thing. For what they were about to do, they didn’t need witnesses.
“The girls have gone to sleep, I take it?” Trenton asked, simply to break the timid silence.
Lysabel motioned to the door, indicating that he should shut it. He did, and bolted it, before returning his attention to her.