Jared was there in an instant. “What the fuck was that?”
“That was a tank of energy needing an outlet.” An outlet that I hadn’t been able to give it. Oh those fucking brothers had a lot to answer for.
Well this was fun. Although the conversation centred round me, not one person was addressing me. Jared, Antonio, Luther, Sebastian, Wes, Lena, and Evan were all pacing around my living area while I sat quietly on the sofa. Even the normally composed Antonio seemed unable to sit down. I could see panic on each and every face. It was the same panic that I was feeling.
Lena sighed. “For someone to have changed her to the extent that it is interfering with her gift, they must have changed her at a fundamental level.”
“What level?” Jared was pale even for him. The incident had sent his protectiveness into overdrive, and he looked on the verge of snapping.
“It would be the same as for me to alter a human’s internal system so that they can no longer digest their food. Sam can feed on the energy around her, but she cannot shape or control it. Much like a human would vomit in the case of being unable to digest their food, Sam had an abrupt release of the energy that she had absorbed.”
“Isn’t that what happens when a Feeder first develops their power?” Evan asked me.
“Yes,” I replied. “Because we don’t even realise we’re absorbing energy, and when we do, we can’t control it.”
“So, what, she’s digressing?” Jared asked Lena.
She exhaled heavily. “I truly have no idea, though it would appear so.”
I finally asked her the question that was taunting me. “Will I lose my gift?”
Her expression was sympathetic. “Possibly.”
Silence hit the room, and I felt as though I’d been dealt a blow to the chest as the breath practically whooshed out of me. My gift wasn’t simply an ability to me. It was part of who I was. The truth was that I’d be kind of lost without it; it would feel like losing a part of myself.
Knowing that, Jared came and squeezed my shoulder. “How about your ability to Merge? Has that been affected?”
I exhaled heavily. “Let’s find out.” Standing, I placed my hand on Jared’s chest and attempted to meld into him. Nothing. Well fuck a duck. Half-sighing, half-growling, I slumped back down onto the sofa.
“Has there been anything else happening to you that is out of the norm?” asked Antonio, his tone sensitive.
“Pain,” I told him, swallowing hard. “There was this awful, unbearable pain…but I couldn’t move, couldn’t scream, couldn’t do anything. Jared didn’t even sense it through our connection.”
The look on Antonio’s face told me that that wasn’t good at all. “I would say, then, that Lena is right. What’s happening to you is happening on such a fundamental level that it can interfere with almost anything; your gifts, your body, and even your connection to Jared.”
“Will it stop the Binding from working?” Jared’s voice was low.
“No,” Antonio assured him. “Nothing could do that.”
Lena nodded in agreement. “It is likely that whatever is happening will be over before the ceremony anyway.”
Jared, who was far from placated by the answers he’d been given, scrubbed a hand over his face. “There has to be someone who can help. Someone who can undo what’s happening, or who can at least tell us what’s happening.”
“The only people who can help with that are the vampires responsible,” Lena told him. “Had Sam been human or an animal, I could have aided her in some way. But my gift, though strong, is not that powerful. Technically, this particular gift should not be as strong as to have any effect on a vampire.”
A thought came to me. “What if we had Reuben enhance your gift, make it stronger, would that do any good?”
She cocked her head as she considered it. “I cannot say for sure. It’s worth a try, I suppose.”
Jared’s enthusiasm and hope was almost visible. “I’ll go get him.” Then he was gone.
Evan turned to me, sighing. “Hard seeing him like that, isn’t it? Jared’s usually so self-assured and at ease.” I nodded. “He’s scared of losing you.”
“I don’t think I’m dying, Evan, I really don’t.”
“I don’t either. But if this situation was the other way around, if Jared was in pain and losing control of his gifts, would you take any chances? Would you allow yourself the luxury of trusting that he’ll live?”
No, I wouldn’t. “In other words, you want me to not give him a hard time about the overprotectiveness.” Evan’s smile was sheepish. I sighed. “Fine.”
We all smiled as Jared returned with good ole Reub.
“Ah, Reuben,” drawled Antonio. “Good of you to come.”
My squad member nodded at him running his gaze over me. “Coach, you okay? That was some release of energy back there. Don’t worry, we didn’t tell anyone that your gift went weird, we just said that you and Jared were having a fight.”
“Focus, Reuben,” said Jared. “We need you to use your gift on Lena.”
“No problem.” One brief touch to the shoulder had Lena’s gift more powerful. “Is there any other way I can help?”
I shook my head. “Hopefully, we won’t need any more help.”
When Jared reached for him, Reuben raised a hand and headed for the front door. “I can get back to my apartment myself. You guys look like you need to be together right now.”
Wasn’t he lovely? “Thanks for coming. See you tomorrow.” He nodded and left.
Lena shook her head a little. “Strange how different, stronger, I now feel.”
“Do you think you’re strong enough to help Sam?” asked Jared.
She inhaled deeply. “I can try. I would appreciate it if no one speaks while I study her.” She came to sit beside me on the sofa, but she didn’t touch me. Her attention was all on me, though her eyes seemed slightly out of focus. Minutes later, she took a deep breath and graciously accepted the NST that Sebastian was holding.
“Do you see DNA strands?” I asked.
“It’s like looking at numbers and equations. I see what adds up, and what doesn’t, in which case I can spot abnormalities. I see weak points, and I see strong points; therefore I know a person’s strengths and weaknesses. I am able to shuffle the numbers around, make different equations, thus making a person stronger or weaker or different. Providing those equations make sense, there will be no problems.”
“So…the brothers’ equations weren’t adding up,” I surmised. “That was why the vampires they held were deformed.”
“Yes. If a being has too many weak points, it is impossible to significantly strengthen them. So it might be reasonable to assume that the other vampires hadn’t been strong enough to undergo the changes. The brothers were clearly hoping to strengthen you in some way, but I do not understand what they were trying to achieve. What I can tell is that they have tried to change you at a dramatic, massive level. The problem is…some of the equations aren’t adding up. Where your gifts were once strong, they are now weak.”
“What else?”
“As you know, when a person is Turned, their body changes in many ways. As they go through the transition, sensory organs are improved so that vision, hearing, and sense of smell are all enhanced. The circulatory, skeletal, and muscular systems also change, making the body much more resilient. But if a body is frozen in its development on a cellular level, does that really make it stronger? Personally, I do not believe so. It appears that the brothers have managed to…unfreeze parts of you in order to make changes. But I cannot explain what they are, I’m sorry.”
Lena’s gaze danced from both Jared and me. “My main concern is not the changes that are taking place. I’m not proud of this, but when I first began experimenting with my gift, I was very advantageous. I tried to change too much too quickly. The result…it was not pretty.”
Jared narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean that in those cases, th
e animals’ system sort of went into…well, I suppose you could say ‘override’. It began to shut down in some areas, protecting itself, and trying to rectify these problems. The problems were not always completely rectified even with my help to undo what I had done.”
Jared went even paler. “So the animals died?”
“No. But they became brain damaged. One slipped into a coma from which it never awakened.”
“And that could happen to Sam?” Jared ran a hand through his hair. “Can you help in some way? Can you undo anything of what they have done?”
“I’m sorry, but I doubt I will be able to make much difference, as I do not understand what it is the brothers have done to Sam’s DNA. The only thing that will allow me to have any effect on Sam, a vampire, is that her development is no longer frozen. At best, I can slow the process, ease the side effects, but the changes will ultimately be made unless you can find the brothers and make them reverse the process.”
“I will find them, I will. If there’s some way you can help Sam in the meantime, please, just do what you can.”
“It will be painful, Sam,” warned Lena.
“I don’t care, do what you can.” The pain was quick in coming. It was exactly like the pain I had felt earlier, but this time I could move and I could scream. And I did scream. The entire time, Jared spoke to me telepathically. The pain was so bad that his words were pretty much background noise, but still it helped to hear his voice.
What felt like hours later, the pain vanished abruptly. Somebody thrust a NST into my hand, and I drank it all in one go.
Lena patted my arm. “I’m sorry about the pain.”
“Don’t be. I’m just grateful for any help anyone can give.” And I truly was, because after everything that she had told me, I was at risk of shitting my pants.
Antonio stepped forward. “I think it may be best to keep Sam’s problem very quiet. Currently, a lot of the vampires are nervous of a Sventé being their source of protection once I have given up my position. The only thing making them keep an open mind is that her gifts are so powerful. For them to find out that her gifts are no longer under control, that she may actually lose them…”
Jared cursed, now pacing in front of me again. “If only you’d had some kind of vision, Luther…It’s kind of odd that something this serious wasn’t—” He stopped at the shifty expression on the tribute to Gandalf’s face. “What do you know?”
“Jared,” Luther implored; his expression pleaded with him to understand.
“You had a vision,” Jared immediately realised. When Luther exchanged a look with me, Jared glanced at me and narrowed his eyes. “And you knew he’d had a vision.”
I didn’t deny it. He was always going to find out at some point. I’d just kind of hoped for more time.
Jared came to stand in front of me. His voice was strained with anger. “Let me get this straight. You knew something might happen, but you went to the bungalow with me anyway.”
“I cannot interfere with people’s paths, Jared,” Luther insisted.
Jared twirled around to face him. “Really? Okay, let’s look at this path she’s taking. She has unbearable pain, she’s losing control of her gifts, and two guys did something to her that made other vampires deformed and crazed! Explain to me how that path is a good thing.” He advanced on the Keja vampire until he was almost nose-to-nose with him. “You need to tell me what you know, and you need to do it now. I don’t want to hear any of your cryptic bullshit. Tell me! Tell me so that I can fucking fix it!”
Luther’s small smile was gentle and apologetic. “I’m sorry, Jared. You know that I would do so if I could.”
I honestly feared that Jared might hit him, but instead he snapped, “Fuck it. Fuck all of you.” Without even a glance at me, he teleported away.
(Jared)
Of course I’d known that lazing on a sun lounger on the empty beach wasn’t going to calm me, but I’d sort of expected to feel better after an hour alone. Apparently I was expecting a little too much from life lately. See, I’d expect that the woman I loved would have some sense of self-preservation, but no. I’d expect that if there was something I needed to know – particularly if it was somehow related to her safety – then I’d be told about it. And I’d expect Sam not to keep something so important from me, but, again, no.
Sure, I knew why she hadn’t told me – she’d known that my protectiveness would have hit critical levels and that I’d have done everything I could to stop her from going with me to investigate her weird dreams. Was that really so damn wrong of me, though?
I even understood why Luther hadn’t mentioned the vision. So many times over the years I’d seen him quiet and subdued, and I’d known he’d had a vision that he couldn’t share. Each time, I’d deeply sympathised with him. After all, his gift had to be more of a curse sometimes. But if that vision somehow concerned Sam, I was never going to be so understanding, and he’d known that.
So, yeah, I could understand why neither of them had told me beforehand. The question bugging me now was…why hadn’t Sam mentioned this afterwards? She wasn’t exactly someone who would care about risking my wrath. She’d snort and flip me off if I yelled at her. So why keep this from me? Why keep me out like that?
Unfortunately, none of that could distract me from the bone-deep fear circulating through me. Yes, the brothers had assured me that Sam wouldn’t become ill, but if their ‘equations’ weren’t adding up, then there was every chance that something bad would happen to her, even if they hadn’t meant for it to.
This whole thing sucked.
The scent that suddenly drifted downwind to me instantly made my blood boil. This was not what I needed. “I don’t know why you’re out here and I don’t care, just go.”
A very scantily dressed Magda sat gingerly on the lounger beside mine. “I sensed your anger and fear, Jared. Naturally I was going to come to you.”
The false concern in her voice nibbled at what patience I had left. “Not now. I really don’t want to have to deal with your shit right now.”
“Did it ever occur to you that I might wish to make amends?”
I snorted. “No, because you don’t. What you want is to play games. It’s what you’re good at.”
“You used to think I was good at a lot of things.”
“I also used to think that vampires didn’t exist.” I enjoyed watching that practiced sultry smile fall from her face.
“If I thought you were happy with Sam, I would wish you well” – Yeah, right – “but you’re not happy. You may seem it at times, but you’re not truly happy. A Binding is life-long. I would hate to see you trapped in a stale relationship.”
“Really? Strange, because that’s pretty much what you’d wanted when you Turned me all those years ago.”
Her eyes flared and her irises were suddenly glowing amber. “What we had was not stale. When I revealed what I was to you, I had two choices. Turn you at some point, or kill you – that is how it works, and you know that. I chose the first option and I do not regret that.”
“And that’s all it was? You Turned me purely to save me from death?” My words were dripping with scepticism. Magda wasn’t a stickler for rules. She would have gotten a kick out of risking punishment.
“Of course. You know this, just as you know that what we had was not stale. You may wish to believe that it had been, you may prefer to think differently, but you know in your own mind that it was not.”
“I know that you used me, just like you use everyone else around you. I know that, to you, I was just a toy. I know that you didn’t Turn me to save me, or because you cared; you did it out of spite, just as you Turned my brother out of spite. That’s what I know.”
“It wasn’t out of spite, but I can see why you might think that. I was hurt when you didn’t return to me. I panicked. I didn’t want to believe that you had stopped caring for me and I convinced myself that the only thing in our way was Evan being human. I used him to tempt you, yes, bu
t not to hurt you. I would never have wished to do that.”
And wasn’t that the biggest load of shit I’d ever heard. If I hadn’t known her as well as I did, though, I might have fallen for that act. “Why are you here, Magda? Here at The Hollow? I know you don’t like that I’m Binding with Sam, and I know you get off on trying to separate us, but you have to know that your schemes won’t work. So why stay?”
“As I said, if I can be convinced that you’re truly happy with Sam, I shall no longer interfere. But if she continues to upset you as she clearly has now, well…”
I growled at the threat in her voice. “You stay away from Sam.”
Magda rolled her eyes. “These growls and warnings are wasted on me, Jared. You have a blood-link to me, you would never hurt me.”
She really believed that? Wow. “There are only three people in this world that will never come to any harm from me. Sam, Evan, and Antonio.”
“You do not wish to harm me, Jared,” she insisted, inserting authority into her tone. She might have Turned me, but she had no authority over me as far as I was concerned. “You were happy with me. Granted, I made a mess of things—”
“That’s putting it lightly, don’t you think?”
“—but before that, you were happy with me.”
Again, there was authority in her tone that was much like a subtle push. I looked at her curiously. “What do you think you are, a fucking Jedi?”
“You made love to me as no other man before, or after you, has done.”
I slowly sat upright on the lounger and swung my legs over the side, facing her. “Let’s get one thing straight, Magda. I fucked you, but that’s all. Only with Sam has sex ever been anything more than that for me.”
Anger flashed on her face. “Perhaps it’s that way for you. But is it that way for her? Does she truly feel as strongly for you? If so, I have to wonder why you aren’t happy and why you are currently so angry.”