by Bella Andre
Catherine's face softened slightly, just as Christie murmured, "It's pretty darn easy to fall into that people-pleasing trap."
Sarah shifted her gaze to her new friend just as Christie twisted her diamond engagement ring. Maybe one day soon she would feel close enough with her, comfortable enough doing the girl-sharing thing, that she could ask about her relationship with Wesley. And if everything was okay.
"I never meant to come back here and upset everyone," Sarah said. "So many times, I've wondered if I did the right thing coming back at all."
"I know I told you that your coming back into Calvin's life has been bad." Catherine looked more than a little uncomfortable now. "But I'm not sure I got it completely right. It's more that he's been different since you've been back."
Sarah had given Catherine the perfect opening to jump all over her admission, to agree with her that she shouldn't have come back to town, to maybe even pack her bags and drive her back to the city to make sure she really left. Hardly able to believe her old friend hadn't taken the chance to slam her down again, she asked, "Different how?"
"After years of seeing someone be up and energetic all the time, you sort of forget they're ever any other way," Catherine said. "These past couple of weeks, it's like his outer layer has started to drop away, like something has changed inside of him, way down deep, like I'm finally seeing the real Calvin Vaughn." Catherine shook her head. "I'm more than a little ashamed that I didn't realize he was covering up part of himself all this time. You touch him, reach him in a way no one else has, Sarah. In a way no one else ever could."
Sarah was afraid everything she felt for Calvin was written on her face. She tried to contain it out of sheer habit, but then it hit her: What was she doing? Why was she always trying so hard to hide from what she really felt? Where was the gain in that?
"I love him, Cat." The childhood nickname slipped out right alongside her true feelings for the man they had both been friends with as children.
Surprise flashed across Catherine's face a split second before she said, "I know you do." She paused, almost as if she was giving Sarah time to catch her breath. "So, what are you going to do about it?"
Sarah gripped her shiny red mug tightly, even as she tried to still the panic rising inside of her. "I'm going to try to make it work."
She'd never moved forward on anything without a plan. Not until Calvin had touched her. Not until Calvin had kissed her. Not until they'd made love as adults. But the truth was, she simply hadn't had a choice. Not in any of it. Because she'd always loved him.
And she always would.
When Catherine's voice came again, it was softer, gentler. She reached out, put her hand on Sarah's arm, regret mingling with shame in her eyes. "I'm sorry I've lashed out at you so many times. I had no right to say those things at the knitting group on Monday night."
Sarah looked down at Catherine's ragged nails, a Band-Aid strip wrapped around her thumb, the same friend who used to take such care with her appearance. "You're Calvin's friend. You just want what's best for him. I can understand that."
"Just because I'm his friend doesn't mean I should be acting like this. Not when I know firsthand how hard love is."
Sarah could almost see the olive branch being extended across the table. It was habit to proceed cautiously, to make sure she didn't connect too closely with anyone--and to make sure she didn't let Summer Lake or the people in it reach out and grab hold of her, of her heart. But she didn't want to live that way anymore.
"What happened?" she asked.
"I married the wrong guy is what happened."
Sarah frowned. "When did you figure it out?"
"When I found him in bed with another woman."
"Men suck," Christie said.
Catherine raised her eyebrows, obviously just as surprised by Christie's emphatic statement as Sarah was. "What are you talking about, Christie?" Catherine asked. "Wesley's the perfect fiance. You couldn't have found a nicer guy if you'd tried."
Christie looked so uncomfortable that Sarah dove in to save her. "I've got to tell you guys about my crazy dream."
She never would have guessed it was possible from the way their coffee break had begun, but over their emptying coffee cups, the three of them were soon discussing contest ideas and possible patterns for knitted saddles and bridles for carousel horses. And Sarah was enjoying herself. So much that she wanted to believe she could have more than one afternoon like this, chatting over coffee with girlfriends.
"Wow, those dark clouds came out of nowhere." Christie pointed out the coffee shop window toward the lake. "There's definitely going to be a storm tonight."
Sarah shivered even though the cafe was perfectly warm.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Sarah hadn't been to a town hall meeting in a decade. The din of voices in the big red barn hit her first. Every seat was full, and people were lined up along the walls. People were chatting easily with one another, passing Thermos flasks of hot drinks and baskets of brownies and cookies back and forth, but she'd been to enough town hall meetings to know that the mood in the room could--and often would--turn on a dime.
Calvin was standing on the stage that had been erected in the front. Sensing her presence, he looked up at her from the stage and smiled. Her lips actually tingled in response, as if he'd managed to send her a kiss from all the way across the barn.
A hand brushed her arm, and she pulled her gaze away from Calvin to see who was trying to get her attention. Her eyes widened in surprise.
"Mr. Klein?" When had the president of the company she was here to represent decided to show up?
"This is quite a lively town you've got here."
She nodded and worked to compose herself. Ever since her grandmother had ended up in the hospital, Sarah had been living in jeans and long-sleeved T-shirts. Tonight, thank God, she'd run home from the store to change into a suit, fix her hair, and put on makeup and heels.
"Are you planning on spending the night in town?" she asked. "If so, it would be my pleasure to give you a tour of Summer Lake tomorrow." It would take approximately thirty minutes to show him the stores on Main Street--and then she'd have to start dancing around to keep her client entertained if he was judging Summer Lake by city standards. Maybe, if she was lucky, he'd like hiking or fishing, and then he'd be in heaven here.
"Yes," he replied. "I'll be at the inn tonight. It was dark by the time I arrived, but I'm certainly looking forward to getting to know this town and the Adirondacks better. Be my guest for breakfast."
Sarah knew she'd better get her lips up into a smile, and fast. "Breakfast sounds great."
"One more thing I wanted to mention before the meeting begins. Back in the office, we've been tossing around the idea of acquiring at least one of the old buildings on Main Street to put our own contemporary stamp on it. Of course, we will assist the current stores in finding excellent non-lakefront locations. Perhaps you can give some thought tonight to which buildings would be best to target."
Sarah couldn't manage to fake a positive response. Not when she absolutely hated her client's idea. At least now she knew how to use her time with him the next day--she would have to use every skill she had in her arsenal to convince him to keep his hands off the historic buildings.
And yet how could she be angry with him? He wouldn't even have known about Summer Lake if not for her. And she was the one who hadn't cared about the history of things like the carousel. Her stomach roiled at the thought.
What had she done?
Just then, her mother moved to her side. "There you are."
They'd spoken earlier in the day after Olive had been settled back into her cottage. Helen was with Sarah's grandmother now so that her mom could attend the meeting without worrying.
"Mr. Klein, I'd like to introduce you to my mother, Denise Bartow."
His attention shifted to her mother so completely that Sarah almost felt as if she'd disappeared. "How do you do?" Instead of simply shaking her mother
's outstretched hand, he took a more old-fashioned approach and bent over her hand to press a light kiss to it.
Sarah couldn't believe her mother's reaction--her blushing cheeks, the light that jumped into her eyes. She was clearly exhausted from all those hours in the hospital, and yet a stranger was making her look prettier than Sarah had seen her in a very long time.
"It's nice to meet you too," Denise said, before turning back to Sarah. "I've saved you a seat if you need one."
Stunned by the chemistry between her client and her still-grieving mother, Sarah somehow managed to say, "Thanks, but I'll be sitting up front on the stage so that I can give my presentation and answer questions."
Looking almost shy, her mother shifted her gaze back to Mr. Klein. "In that case, would you like to sit with me? If you're not used to it, these town hall meetings can sometimes be a little overwhelming."
"I'd like that very much, Denise. Thank you." Before they walked away, he said, "I'm looking forward to hearing your presentation, Sarah."
She forced what she hoped was a believable smile, then watched with more than a little alarm as her mother led her very rich, very distinguished client over to a crowded bench of locals. Within seconds he was the focus of everyone's attention.
Calvin's eyes were still on her when she looked back up at the stage. She wasn't used to leading with her heart rather than her head, but she couldn't have stopped herself from moving toward him for anything in the world. Still, the strength of what she saw in his eyes scared her enough to nearly make her lose her footing as she walked up the stairs to the small stage. But he was right there to help her, to make sure she didn't fall. Just like always.
"You look beautiful, Sarah."
She wanted to kiss him, wanted to throw her arms around him and never let go, wanted to tell him she loved him. But they were standing in front of three hundred people. The podium hid their hands from the crowd as he reached out to take hers. He rubbed his thumb across her palm.
"The only reason I'm not kissing you right now," he told her, "is because I know you'd kill me if I did." She shivered at his touch and the love in his eyes as he added, "But soon, it won't matter what people think. Because they'll know that you belong to me. And that I belong to you."
She wanted to tell him he was right, wanted soon to be now. But just then she heard her client's booming laugh, followed by her mother's laughter. Sarah's stomach tightened. "My client is here."
"The man sitting with your mother?"
"I didn't know he was coming." She frowned. "I hate surprises."
His low laughter warmed her skin. "Have I mentioned lately that I love you?" Her eyes flew to his as he flirted with her in front of her client--and practically the entire population of Summer Lake. "And that you're the most incredible woman I've ever known?"
Flustered--and warm all over now from nothing more than the heat in his eyes and the touch of his hand over hers--she worked to turn his focus, along with her own. "I should be reviewing my presentation. I haven't done nearly as much to prepare today as I should have."
"What had you so preoccupied?" She couldn't miss the loving gleam in his eyes, the heated grin playing around the corners of his mouth.
"You know what."
"Tell me."
Just as he'd needed her to say I love you last night, she knew he needed this from her now. So even though she knew better than to flirt with the mayor in front of the entire town not five minutes before going head-to-head with him on her building project, she said, "You, Calvin. You're what has me so preoccupied."
The air between them shot off electricity. She had never wanted anything more than she wanted to reach out and pull him into her, to kiss him, to lay claim to his love in front of everyone. Even the warning flags waving all through her brain couldn't stop her from moving closer. She was almost there, could almost taste his mouth, could almost feel the warmth of his hard chest pressed up against hers, his strong arms holding her, when Catherine cleared her throat--loudly--beside them.
"The natives are getting restless. We should probably get started."
Sarah dropped Calvin's hand and took an awkward step back. "Thanks, Cat."
"Anything I can do to help you set up?"
Sarah reached into her bag and pulled out her laptop. "All I need is a cable to hook this up to the projector."
Catherine efficiently untangled the cord so that it would reach the computer. Sarah had been giving these kinds of presentations for so long she rarely got nervous anymore. But this time everything felt different. Partly because she'd known everyone in the audience since she was in diapers. But mostly because she didn't want to let them down.
Especially the one person who wasn't there. Because even though her father wasn't in the audience, she could still feel him watching her. Telling her to reach for the brass ring, no matter what the hurdles.
At this thought, her fingers went numb and she dropped her power cord. Sarah could feel Calvin's concerned glance on her from where he was speaking with someone off to the side of the stage.
Catherine moved quickly to pick it up. "You're white as a sheet." She uncapped a bottle of water. "Drink."
Sarah hadn't realized just how dry her mouth was until she put the plastic bottle to her lips. "I was just thinking about my father. About the fact that he isn't here tonight."
"He expected a lot of you, didn't he?"
The bottle shook in Sarah's hand. "What parent doesn't expect the best from their child?"
"Don't forget, I've known you for three decades. Well, the first two, anyway. I used to see that look on your face whenever you knew your father was watching you do something."
Sarah couldn't believe she'd been so transparent. Guilt had her saying, "My father was wonderful."
"He was. And imposing. A little scary too."
"I wasn't afraid of him," Sarah protested. He had never raised a hand to her. Or his voice.
"But you were afraid of disappointing him. How could you not be? Heck, we were all afraid of disappointing the senator. I can't imagine how hard it must have been to be his daughter."
Sarah's throat felt tight. The words Calvin had spoken when they were standing on his dock came back: He hurt you too.
And the truth was that until now, she'd never realized how strong her fears had been. Not only of disappointing her father. But also of disappointing herself.
Her entire identity had been wrapped up in her success, first with spelling bees and then with what colleges she went to and then with her career. Somewhere along the way she had replaced her father's voice in her head with her own, and she'd drawn a world around herself where there was black and white but nothing else, none of the soft rainbow of colors lining the walls at Lakeside Stitch & Knit. She'd wrapped herself up tightly in that identity to try to keep herself warm. But without the heat from Calvin's eyes, from his kisses--from his love--she'd been cold anyway. Because she had forgotten how to do anything but reach for the brass ring. Even when it turned out to be chilly and lifeless in her hand every time she managed to grab it.
Sarah felt her friend's hand on her arm. "I'm sorry. I know you need to concentrate right now. But if you want to talk more later--" Cat paused, looked at Calvin, then squeezed Sarah's arm. "--about anything at all, you know where to find me. And good luck tonight. I'm not a fan of the condos, but I guess I get how things are a little better between you and Calvin now. He loves you, so he wants what's best for you, even when it might not be best for him." Cat shook her head and gave Sarah a lopsided grin. "It was easier when things were black and white. When I could focus on hating you."
Sarah was glad for the sudden laughter that sprang to her lips. "Yeah. That was a lot of fun."
Calvin moved back toward them. "I'm about to open the meeting. Are you ready?"
No. She wasn't ready for any of this. Not for the way her hometown, the people of Summer Lake, the store--and especially Calvin--had all gotten under her skin.
Into her heart.
Still, right this second, with her client waiting for her to blow everyone away, there was only one answer, only one response to his gentle question. "Ready."
He frowned at her false smile before turning so that his back was completely to the audience. "I don't want you to forget for one single second that I love you. Always. Forever." He held her gaze for a long moment, before he finally turned and stepped up to the microphone.
*
"I've invited a special guest to our meeting tonight," Calvin said. "Most if not all of you know Sarah Bartow. Her mother and grandmother have owned and operated Lakeside Stitch & Knit for many, many years, and her late father was a valued member of our community, as well as the entire state of New York. Sarah, thank you for coming to speak to us tonight."
She didn't look at all nervous as she approached the podium, regardless of what she was really feeling. It didn't matter in the least to Calvin that they were on opposite sides of her project--he was proud of her. He would always be proud of her.
"Thank you, Mayor Vaughn, for the introduction."
She began her presentation, and as she took them through her maps, drawings, and photographs of the proposed building site, he admired the way she spoke to the crowd. Not as if she was above them, but as if she was one of them. Because she was.
He had been a damn fool to say those harsh things in the bar that first night when she'd showed him her initial plans. He knew that now. And he would never stop making each and every one of those cruel words up to her.
The town remained focused and silent until she came to the end of her presentation. "I want to thank everyone who came out tonight for this opportunity to speak with you about the project." She paused, looking down at her notes, then folded them up and looked out at the crowd. "This isn't a part of what I planned to say, but I can't help but feel as if my father is here tonight with all of us. As all of you already know, my father loved Summer Lake, loved everyone who makes this town what it is. Many times, he told me that he wished more people knew about all our town has to offer, the beauty and nature. And the peace of mind just being here brings."