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by Ivy Smoak
When Professor Hunter walked in I moved my eyes back to my notes. Seeing him would just make me even more nervous. I felt like I was going to throw up. Being nervous was way worse than a hangover. Professor Hunter called out the first name and made his way to the back of the room. Again, he sat down in front of Tyler.
I completely spaced out during all the speeches. I just stared at my notes, hoping that someone would pull the fire alarm. I even began to wonder if I should go to the bathroom and pull the alarm myself. Ultimately I decided against it because I figured everyone would be able to deduce that it was me.
Before I knew it, Professor Hunter called Tyler's name. My heart started racing. I was next. For a second I put my nerves aside so I could listen to Tyler's speech.
He didn't look at all nervous when he reached the podium. Tyler looked at me and began his speech:
"I've gotta be honest with all of you. I'm going to be incredibly sappy for the next few minutes, because I have met THE most amazing girl. She's sweet and funny and super cute."
I put my hands over my mouth and began shaking my head back and forth. Oh my God!
"And she is quite inspirational. Let me give you some examples. She usually says no when I ask her on a date."
The whole class started laughing.
"But it's okay, because she does laugh at all my jokes. She also kneed me in my junk that one time."
Everyone laughed again.
"But she's apologized. So that was nice of her. As you can see, she's a handful. Wow, now that I think about it, is she really that inspiring? I know it sounds crazy, but I really think so. And hey, at least she's inspiring me to be persistent."
His speech garnered a good applause. He walked confidently back to his seat. After he sat down, he leaned over and said, "You're up, Penny. By the way, your face is bright red."
Professor Hunter called my name a moment later and I felt like I was going to faint. I grabbed my paper and stood up. When I walked passed his desk, I smelled his cologne and felt even more light headed. Forgetting to watch where I was going, I tripped over a backpack in the aisle and fell sideways into someone's desk. The desk screeched a few inches to the right and the girl sitting there looked like she had just been woken up. I was surprised she didn't scream.
"I'm so sorry," I said quickly, and finished walking to the podium. The screeching sound seemed to echo as the girl moved her desk back where it belonged.
The majority of the class was still laughing at me once I reached the podium. Why me?!
Professor Hunter rubbed his forehead and looked up at me slowly. I felt my knees begin to shake. It looked like he wanted to laugh at me too. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I heard someone cough. Crap, how long had I been up here already?!
"Okay so that was embarrassing." Good, own it! "Anyway, I...," my throat caught. I swallowed and began again. "I have been inspired by so many people that it's hard to choose just one. Which got me thinking that we actually choose the people that are going to influence our lives. It's our choice. We're able to choose who is going to influence us because we choose which strangers become more than acquaintances. We get to choose that. So really, aren't we all as individuals the ones that inspire ourselves the most?
"Acquaintances come in and out of your life all the time. And yes, we can certainly be influenced by mere acquaintances, because some are a positive force and others are a negative energy. Sometimes I think that pain is what defines you; the way you react to adversity. I actually have been inspired by many strangers in my life. The elementary school bullies. They helped me grow. They made me stronger. The professor who gave me my first D last semester."
A few students laughed at my joke.
"I've learned to study harder," I smiled to myself. "Acquaintances can be impactful. But there's usually a reason that they remain at a distance. Whether it's because you're uncomfortable with the idea of befriending them, or they just hate you." I shrugged. "I'm stronger because of the acquaintances that have come in and out of my life.
"But it's the people that become more than acquaintances that really inspire us. The people we choose to grow with. Sometimes it's best to remain strangers. But more often than not, if you choose to let them in, they'll inspire you in more ways than you can possibly imagine."
Professor Hunter's lips were parted. He closed them and I saw his Adam's apple rise and then drop as he swallowed. He looked down and began scribbling on the piece of paper in front of him. I stood there awkwardly until he called the next student's name. I looked down as I walked back to my desk to make sure I didn't trip on anything.
Before I reached Professor Hunter's desk, I quickly glanced up and saw him smirking. He looked at me and raised one eyebrow. When he did that it almost felt like a challenge. He liked my speech. Maybe I wouldn't have to forget about him after all.
Tyler put his elbow on the edge of his desk and leaned over. "You decided to talk about me too, huh? I liked it."
I stared over at Professor Hunter. Tyler had whispered, but Professor Hunter was right in front of him. Did Professor Hunter hear that?! I was talking about him in my speech, not Tyler.
Professor Hunter's shoulders slowly rose as he took a deep breath. When they fell back down, I heard a sigh escape from his lips. He ran his hand through his smooth hair and started scribbling on the next piece of paper.
After the last speech, he dismissed the class. I said goodbye to Tyler, but remained seated, fiddling with things in my backpack. When the class was empty, I stood up and walked in front of Professor Hunter's desk.
"Did you enjoy my speech, Professor Hunter?"
He looked up at me. "Miss Taylor, you'll have to wait until Monday for your grade, just like the other students."
Great, I was now lumped with all the rest of his students in his mind. I looked down so that he couldn't see that I was hurt by his words.
He lightly touched my elbow. I looked back up at him.
"But I will say that it was rather enlightening."
I almost melted under his touch.
His fingers lingered for another moment and then he let his hand fall to the desk. He stood up so that he was now towering above me. He leaned forward as he went to grab his satchel. When his head was level with mine he paused. Our faces were only a few inches apart. He flashed me a smile. "Have a good weekend, Penny," he said and then grabbed his satchel and quickly exited the room, leaving me speechless. His intoxicating scent lingered in the air for a few moments after he disappeared.
Chapter 19
Monday
I had eagerly waited for the weekend to end, but now that it was over I was incredibly nervous. Professor Hunter had definitely liked my speech. I had made him smile. Originally, I thought that Tyler's comment had upset him, but then Professor Hunter had acted the way he had before our kiss. He seemed to like me again.
I took great pains getting ready for class. I added a few curls to my hair with my curling iron, and then ran my hands through them to give them a looser, more natural look. After scrutinizing my closet, I ended up wearing a turquoise high low skirt and a black tank top. It was casual, yet still chic. I wanted Professor Hunter's eyes on me, and he didn't seem opposed to the more casual look. I strapped on a pair of sandals, and without another look in the mirror, I went to class.
Tyler was already in his seat. When I sat down he was all smiles. "Well, you look fantastic," he said.
"Thanks, Tyler."
"So, do you want to have lunch again on Wednesday?"
"Yeah, I'd like that. Do you think we'll get our grades today?"
"Probably. I think he was just grading them while everyone presented. Why, are you nervous that you failed?"
"Should I be?" My jittery nerves were taking a quick turn into panic mode.
"No, Penny, it was a great speech. You seemed a little nervous presenting, but so did everyone else. Besides, you did exactly what he wanted, you thought outside the box. I wouldn't be surprised if you got an A."
"So I have the grades here," he said and lifted a stack of papers out of his satchel. "You'll get them at the end of class. The main problem that I saw with the first speeches was the amount of eye contact."
He grabbed the podium from the corner and placed it in the middle of the room. "Okay, I'm going to give you two examples, and I want you to tell me which speech is better." He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and began reading it word for word without looking up:
"My older sister always inspired me growing up. She did everything first, fearlessly. And I admired her for that. Her insane courage was something that I lacked, but reveled in. She always pushed the boundaries and knew what she wanted. And she was determined enough to go after all her dreams. I just wished she had rubbed off on me a little more. Don't get me wrong, I love being your teacher. But I like to follow the rules. I like to play it safe. Because of her, though, sometimes I feel compelled to take those risky chances. Sometimes I make huge, stupid mistakes and don't look back. She inspired me to be strong."
Am I one of those huge, stupid mistakes? He wants to move forward with me!
"Okay, let me try that again. And let's see if you can see a difference." This time he gave the same speech, but only looked down once. For most of it, he gazed around the room. He made gestures with his hands. He delivered his joke a little louder and smiled to himself afterwards. He paused as the class laughed, clearly reacting to them. And he added another joke in since the class seemed to enjoy the first.
"So, which speech was better?"
A hand shot up in the front of the room.
"Yes, Miss Lang?"
"The second one. In the first one, you didn't make any eye contact. And you were pretty monotone throughout."
"Right. Was there anything else about the second one that was better?"
Another hand shot up.
"Mr. Potter?"
"You emphasized different parts of the speech and also had more personality during it. You used hand gestures and stuff."
"Right. So how many of you preferred the first speech over the second one?"
No one raised their hands.
"So why did half of you give me a speech like that first one, if you can so easily tell that the second one is better?"
Again, no one raised their hands. He turned around and wrote "fear" in all caps on the chalkboard. "Not everyone was lucky enough to have a sister like mine growing up, to help teach you how to be fearless. It's completely normal to get up here and stutter and have your knees shake. But what's there to be scared of? Me? Certainly not. Like I told you before, I'm a fairly easy grader."
I had forgotten that he had said he was an easy grader. Maybe Tyler was right. Maybe I would get an A.
"So are you scared of your peers? You shouldn't be. You'll never see the majority of them ever again after you graduate. And chances are, they aren't even listening. They're probably day dreaming about their next class or that guy or girl they have a crush on. Not that I'm encouraging this behavior. We should all be listening to each other's speeches so you can get ideas on how to improve your own. But I'm getting sidetracked. My advice for you all for your next speech is simple. Stop worrying so much. Take a walk on the wild side and be fearless."
He walked away from his podium and lifted up the stack of papers on his desk. "As soon as you get your grade, you can leave. If you have any questions about it, feel free to email me or stop by my office hours. I went easy on everyone this time, but make sure to take the advice I give to heart and try to improve for the next project. And most importantly, don't forget to make eye contact."
He began to wind around the classroom handing out the papers. When Tyler got his he said, "Score!"
"What, did your weird speech about me earn you an A?"
"Well, an A-. I guess I've found my muse." He winked at me. "See you Wednesday, Penny."
I continued to watch Professor Hunter walk around the room. Every now and then he'd call out a name that he wasn't sure of. Finally he walked to the back of the room and placed my paper face down on my desk.
I turned it over and my eyes skimmed for the grade. At the bottom of the page, in bold letters, a C- was scrawled.
What the fuck?! I quickly read through the whole sheet:
Student: Penny Taylor
Topic: Yourself/Acquaintances
Miss Taylor,
It didn't seem like you were properly prepared for this presentation, despite being one of the last students that had to present. You stumbled over your words. You failed to make sufficient eye contact with the audience. You failed to harness your audience's attention. And the general lack of confidence you portrayed left your audience wanting.
You only loosely followed the topic of the presentation, and the topic that you did choose did not seem constant. Your examples were scattered and unrelated. The presentation as a whole was unfocused. You failed to nail your point home, Miss Taylor, mainly because it was unclear what that point even was.
Grade: C-
Bullshit! I rubbed my fingers across the words and felt the raised texture of the whiteout beneath them. The original words and grade had clearly been changed. I could still see traces of the A underneath the C-. What had he originally written? I read his comments again. I could feel my anger rising. I looked up, but Professor Hunter was gone.
Chapter 20
Monday
After my second class of the day, I stormed over to Professor Hunter's office. I knew that like me, he had a class after Comm 212. But maybe he didn't have another one after that. I needed to talk to him now. It couldn't wait until Tuesday's office hours.
When I arrived, his office door was closed. I looked down at my phone to check the time. I had basically run over here. He could still show up. I started to pace outside of Professor Hunter's office, fuming. After several minutes passed, I went back up to his door. Just because it was closed didn't necessarily mean that he wasn't inside. I banged on the door with the fist that was holding my grade.
No answer. I knocked once more, but had the same result.
I sighed and looked down at my phone once again. It had been nearly a half hour since my last class had gotten out. He wasn't coming. I sighed and put my phone back in my bag. This was stupid. I needed a day to calm down. Then I'd come to his office hours tomorrow like a normal person, instead of whatever crazy, angry person had temporarily taken over my body.
I was just about to leave when I heard footsteps approaching. I looked behind me and saw Professor Hunter strolling toward me with a cup of coffee in his hand.
"Can I help you, Miss Taylor?"
I stayed by his door. When he reached me, I held up the paper with my grade on it. "Yeah, what the hell is this?"
He gave me a sharp look. "My office, now." He pulled out his keys from his pocket and unlocked the door. I stormed inside and he calmly followed me. He closed the door behind us and casually strolled over to his desk. He took a slow sip of his coffee and placed it on top of the desk.
"What can I do for you?" he asked.
I was still standing near the door. My hands were on my hips. "You said you were tired of hearing everyone talking about the same people in their lives. You said to think outside the box. That's what I did. This," I held the paper up again, "is bullshit, Professor Hunter."
"Please take a seat," he replied calmly.
I ignored him and walked behind his desk so that I was right next to him. I picked up the paper and quoted him: "You failed to harness your audiences' attention. I was one of the last people to go, and I still made them laugh!"
"Penny..."
"It was unclear what your point was," I quoted him again. "My point was that I choose who gets a chance
at inspiring me. I said that several times, Professor Hunter. Maybe you weren't listening."
"Penny..."
"And this C- used to be an A. I can see it through the whiteout. You changed my grade. You changed it because you overheard Tyler say that the speech was about him. Well it wasn't about him. It was about you." I poked him hard in the middle of his chest. "I don't know why I ever let you kiss me. Is this a game to you, Professor Hunter?"
He drew closer to me. He looked so angry. "Penny, I'm fully aware that this isn't a game. This is my career that we're talking about."
"And this is my G.P.A." I crinkled the paper in my fist and threw it on the ground. My heart was beating fast. He was glaring down at me from under his thick eyebrows. The hunger in his eyes was a temptation I could no longer resist. I had been lying to myself this whole time. I wasn't a good girl. I was bad. And boldness suddenly came easily to me.
I reached up behind his neck and pulled his head down. Without hesitation, he tilted his head the rest of the way down and kissed me deeply. When our lips touched my whole body tingled. He placed his hands on my back and slowly let them drift to my ass. I loved his hands on me. He squeezed my ass hard and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around him as he shoved my back against the adjacent wall. He buried his face in my neck and let his lips trace my collarbone. It sent shivers down my spine. I slid my fingers through his thick hair.
He lifted his head. "I told you to stop thinking about me." His breathing was heavy. He pressed his body even more firmly against mine.
"I can't possibly."
"You're infuriating, Penny," he whispered into my ear.
"Then punish me, Professor Hunter."
He moaned slightly at my words and pulled me off the wall. His arm bumped into a filing cabinet and sent a vase toppling off the top. It smashed against the ground, but he didn't flinch. Holding me firmly against him with one hand, he shoved the contents on his desk to the floor with his free arm. A stapler and a container of pens crashed to the floor. Papers slowly drifted to the ground as he dropped me down on top of his now empty desk. He immediately reached up my skirt and grabbed my thong. In one swift movement, he pulled it off and let it slide down my legs and onto the floor. He bent down and kissed the inside of my knee. Slowly, he let his lips trail up my inner thigh. I wanted him. I needed him inside me.