My eyes shifted to the fight brewing in the kitchen over a blue spatula. “Okay, I’ve got to go break up a cat-fight. I’ll be there in a little bit.”
“Why are they fighting now?”
“Who knows? Rowan has a blue spatula and Ophelia is trying to trade her for a green one.”
“Why?”
I dropped my phone for half a second and whistled. Two fingers between my teeth. “Knock it off,” I said, yelling over the petty argument. That didn’t help. They looked up with big eyes for half a second. Ophelia snatched the blue one right out of her hand and Rowan screamed.
“Ugh. I gotta go, Pax. I’ll be there in a little bit.” I hung up without another word and threw myself between two screaming girls. Ophelia put both her hands behind her back when I held out an open hand.
“I was on the chair to get the blue one first. Rowan didn’t get a go first. I thought of it. That’s why she can’t get it. Cause I said it first.”
“Give them both to me. What do you want it for?”
“I had it first,” Rowan squealed.
“That’s it. Enough of this constant bickering. Go to your room. Go to your room,” I said with a stern look back and forth from one to the other.
“But I had—.”
“Argh! Shh. Both of you go to your rooms until I say. I’m going to make your dad some lunch, and then we’re going to take it to him. If you two don’t stop fighting, I’m going to leave you there with your dad. Now go to your rooms and think about how much you love each other. Move it,” I said for good measure with a pat to each of their bottoms. They walked off with pouty lips, Rowan still arguing about having the stupid thing first. The reasoning behind the fight was left a mystery. I had no idea why they wanted the stupid spatula, or why the identical green one wasn’t good enough.
I may have done a little victory dance while I made my obstinate husband a healthy lunch. I sang in a loud tune with Katy Perry, dancing my hips while I boasted my husband’s illness. Told ya.
By the time I went for the girls, they were both sitting on Rowan’s floor making arrangements for an enchanted ball. Ophelia’s Barbie would arrive wearing an ice gown like on Frozen. Rowan’s would show up in a pink gown with silver shoes. Both girls brushed out their doll’s long hair, Indian style on the floor.
“That’s more like it. Let’s go see, Daddy.”
Like good little troopers, my girls stood and followed me out. Barbie’s in hand. God, I loved them.
I dropped my guard a little once we made it to where Paxton worked. I was overly impressed. An entire back yard transformed into a beautiful addition to the beach house. The pool looked like it flowed over into the ocean. Elegant blue lights twinkled below the water. I kept a hand in mine, one on each side while I observed Paxton’s work. He did do more than mow yards.
The landscaping was amazing, and I couldn’t wait to make it over to the stone patio. Paxton was bent over, smoothing a sand mixture between the cracks. He looked up to us, and I waited for him to drop a trowel before I walked over to him.
“Wow, Paxton. This is amazing. You did this?” I questioned as I dropped the shoulder bag and looked around.
He removed his hat and lifted the bottom of his shirt to wipe away sweat. My eyes left the outside kitchen to linger on his toned ribs and then to his eyes, and the smirk. Busted.
“Checking me out, Mrs. Pierce?” he said through half a grin. Cornered to the right.
I shoved the Rolaids in his hand and told him to shut up. My attention went to the cold bottle of water I brought for him, trying to hide the crimson in my cheeks. “Drink this. Coke’s not going to help heartburn.”
Paxton chugged half a bottle of water, exhaling relief as he handed it back. I turned to see the girls letting their Barbie’s swim on the edge of the pool to keep from locking eyes with him.
“I’m impressed. You do good work,” I said without looking back, avoiding his emerald eyes. He did do good work. Awesome work, and I was overly impressed.
Paxton showed me around his jobsite while the girls ran around the spacious back yard. I thought our view was nice. This was breathtaking. High above the ocean. Even without the back yard being complete, it was amazing. My fingers brushed past his when he explained in great detail the waterfall he had built out of limestone. I gave him every opportunity to take my hand, but he didn’t take it. He pointed to the different things he’d been working on with pride in his voice. His fingers brushed a couple times, but he never took my hand.
“We’re going to go now. They still need lunch,” I said when one of the guys called from the other side of the pool.
“I’ll be right there,” he called back. Only my lips darted to the side that time. My eyes were staying on his stomach when he raised his shirt to wipe the sweat again. His jeans hung low and a band of blue with white stripes stuck out from the top. “You’re doing it again,” he said. He thought for a second he was going to call me out on it. I didn’t care.
“I can’t help it. You’re very sexy when you work,” I said while admitting the truth. I took one step toward him, but he stopped me.
“Don’t do that, Gabriella.”
I could have asked, do what, but it wouldn’t have done any good. Get close to me. That’s what he meant. He didn’t want me to get close to him. Why was still up in the air. Sometimes I thought he was the one with the head injury.
“Yeah, I’ll see you later.”
That’s how things went the entire week. We ate supper together, I went for an evening walk, we fucked, he left me alone, and we ate breakfast together. I held my tongue as much as I could, and we acted like a normal husband and wife around the girls.
It wasn’t until Saturday’s tee-ball game that the gears finally switched. I didn’t sit on the bleachers with him and his fake friends. My fake friends. I stayed below with my fingers laced through the fence the whole game.
We’d gotten there late because Ophelia decided she had to do number two as soon as we got in the car. Once she was done, I realized Rowan was wearing cowboy boots. I had to run back in for her sneakers.
The rest of the gang was already there. Right behind the pitcher’s mound. I saw all the guys on the bleachers and then the girls by the concession stand.
“I’m going to drop the girls off with their coach and get something to drink. You want something?” I asked Paxton already smiling at his guy friends, all waiting to rub in wins from little kids. Betting money on five and six-year-olds was childish to me.
Paxton reached in his wallet and handed me a twenty. “Bring me back a water. Good luck girls. Get Daddy some home runs.”
I left Paxton, boasting a little. The first few weeks I was there he did nothing but complain about me giving him water. Now he ordered it. I smiled as I dropped the girls off with their coach, and joined my friends. The fake ones.
“I know, Candace, but how can you keep your mouth shut? I’d be ripping her pretty hair right from her head.”
My pace slowed when I heard Tricia’s loud whisper. I stayed behind a big guy wearing jean overalls and listened. Without hearing a name, I knew they were talking about me. Candace went next.
“She doesn’t know who she is. She doesn’t remember. How do you confront someone that doesn’t even remember?”
The next voice I heard belonged to Shayla. The one I disliked the most. At least I felt like Candace and I were friends. Before anyway. That thought went up in smoke.
“Do you believe that? Do you really think she doesn’t remember?”
I swallowed away tears and backed away. What did I do? I had to confront Lane. Something told me whatever I was being accused of had to do with him. Paxton’s expression caught the corner of my eye, but I didn’t turn to him. I kept walking, stopping behind the fence. My fingers gripped the metal triangles, and I held on. The burning sensation deep within my gut only added to the ticking bomb. The anxiety from it, overbearing.
First I felt his hand on my back and then I smelled his colo
gne. “What are you doing?”
My head turned to the left, but I didn’t look at him. Just a quick glance and right back to Rowan doing a summersault in the middle of the field. “I’m going to watch from down here for a little bit.”
“Why?”
“I just want to. Is that okay?”
“Sure, what the fuck ever. Give my twenty back.”
I fished the bill from my front pocket and held it out between two fingers. My eyes quickly shifted from his, but it was too late. He saw it.
“What’s wrong?”
I swiped a tear away and shook my shoulders, trying to get him away. His hand slipped off my back and I ushered him away. “Just go back to your fake friends and their fake ass wives up there,” I ordered with a nod. Candace looked right at me, but she didn’t look angry. She looked sad. I huffed a long deep breath, trying to calm the anxious feeling flooding my veins, and watched the chubby kid up to bat. He missed.
Paxton stepped closer behind me and held both my arms from behind. My eyes closed and I sucked in more air when he said my name. “Gabriella?”
Although I could hear the question in his tone, I couldn’t answer it. I didn’t know what was wrong, but it was something. Something big. That I knew to be true without the facts. I didn’t need them. I felt it. “I’m fine. Will you just go?”
“No. I don’t just go. What the fuck happened? You were fine a minute ago. Did you get into it with one of the neighbors? What Gabriella? Something happened?”
“Oh, my God, Paxton. Can I do anything without you up my ass? I’m right here. You can see me standing here. I’m not going up there.”
“Why?”
“I want to watch from here.”
Paxton tried like hell to show his authority over me. I wasn’t having it. He could take his tail feathers and shove them clear up his ass. I didn’t care, I wasn’t about to back down.
“Gabriella, this is the last time I’m going to say it. Turn around and walk up those bleachers, sit your skinny ass beside me, and mind your manners.”
“And then what?” I questioned with my eyes snapping to his.
“And then what, what? What do you mean?” He asked with a frown.
“And then what after the threat. You gonna pull my pants down and spank me? I’m not going up there.”
Paxton looked around for ears and shushed me. “Jesus Christ, Gabriella. What the fuck?”
I turned and placed both my hands flat on his chest. “Paxton, I’m begging you to go be with your friends and leave me alone. I’m fine right here where I am. The only way I am going over there is if you pick me up and carry me. I’m not going.”
“Something’s got to give, Gabriella. This isn’t working for me,” he said while admitting something I didn’t understand.
“It’s not working for me either, Pax. What do you propose we do about it?”
“This conversation isn’t done. There’s a reason you won’t come and sit with me. I promise you’ll tell me before this night is over. Count on it.”
“Yup, counting,” I said with intentional attitude.
His nostrils flared and I could have sworn I heard a growl, but he didn’t speak. With that, I was left alone. Paxton turned and went back to our neighbors. The ones who hated me for something I didn’t remember doing. Something bad.
I endured the game, trying like hell to keep it together. I prayed silently for God to give me back my memory, and then prayed that he didn’t. I wasn’t sure I wanted it back. I wasn’t sure I was the person I thought I was, and truth be told. I was afraid I wouldn’t like me anymore, or was it about Paxton. Was I afraid he wouldn’t like me anymore?
The three desperate housewives stuck together. None of them spoke a word to me the entire time. Tricia walked right past me to the bathroom with her head in her phone. Shayla and Candace pretended to be deep in conversation when it was finally over. Tension was high, and everyone felt it. The guys, nodded their heads in greeting, and goodbye on their way to fetch their kids.
Ophelia and Rowan even sensed it. I swear they decided to be the worst kids in the world that day.
Rowan kicked Ophelia. Ophelia called Rowan a dummy. They fought over a stupid pencil Rowan found in her seat. It was pink so therefore it belonged to Ophelia. And this was just from the park to the country club. Twenty minutes maybe.
I rubbed my temples as we pulled into a parking spot. Ophelia wailed an extremely long no.
Paxton took charge that time with a stern, “That’s enough!” I even jumped. “Get out of this car and knock it off. No more fighting for the rest of the day. Do you both understand me? Huh?”
“Yes,” Ophelia replied with a frail, frightened tone.
“Rowan?” he asked with the same tone, matching the anger on his eyebrows.
“Okay,” she replied in her own soft tone.
“Good, now let’s go knock some balls in some holes.” Paxton clicked his tongue and winked, letting them both know that he wasn’t mad. He winked at me, too. My heart fluttered. That feeling I described as glitter, sparkling in my chest. Damn. This was going to hurt.
Paxton was more into golf than he was baseball. I watched from a hard bench below a maple tree, happy for the moment of peace. My head hurt right behind both eyes. A steady thump heard in both my ears.
My mind filled with a trillion and one questions, and I had the answers to none of them. Not one. Unless someone told me. Someone like Lane. He would know. I looked up to Paxton, standing behind Rowan and to my phone. Did I have his number?
The curve in my back straightened and my hand slid into my purse. I looked to see where Paxton’s attention was, and swiped my phone. Sure enough. Lane was half way down in my contacts. Nothing in my call history and no messages. Of course that didn’t really surprise me. Paxton picked my phone up on a daily basis to snoop. I didn’t talk to anyone but him. Therefore, I didn’t really care. He could look all he wanted. The only text messages he’d find on my phone were from him.
Both thumbs moved quickly across the screen.
Gabriella—WTF? Tell me what’s going on.
I deleted the message right away and waited, and waited, and waited. Lane never answered, and my one and only chance dwindled away with my hope.
Paxton asked about my drama at the baseball field several times throughout the rest of the day. I told him over and over that it was nothing. Me being insecure. He didn’t buy it any more than I bought bacon.
I made a light supper later on in the evening, and we ate in the outside kitchen by the pool. A chicken salad with grilled vegetables. Mine and Rowan’s minus the grilled chicken. She’d recently decided that she didn’t want to eat meat either. Except hotdogs, and pepperoni.
“Can we get in the pool now, Daddy,” Rowan asked half way through our meal.
Paxton answered with a point to her plate. “No, you’ve hardly touched that. Eat first.”
“I’m almost done,” Ophelia said while her hand shoveled potatoes and squash inside her mouth. “I’m getting in before you.”
I clinked my fork twice off my plate to get her attention. “Phi, stop that. Slow down, or you’re not getting in the pool either. ”
“Huh-uh, Daddy said I could. Right, Daddy?” she said with sad eyes right to her left. Paxton melted, letting Ophelia wrap the string right around his finger.
My eyes dove sharply right to her. “Are you being serious right now, girlfriend? You can’t do that. How would you feel if I told Rowan that she was more important than you? That’s what you’re doing when you do that. Do you want me to feel less important than Daddy?”
“Whoa, Gabriella. That’s a little too deep for a four year old,” Paxton said, expression putting me in my place.
“She’s almost five. She understands, don’t you, Phi.”
“You’re important, Mommy.”
“See, she understood every word,” I told Paxton mater of factly. “Thank you baby, eat the cucumbers, too.”
“I don’t like them.�
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I was okay with that. She got me. She knew exactly what she just did, and I put Paxton in his place for once. That’ll teach him. As proud as that made me, I couldn’t really take the blame for it. I just spewed it out like word vomit. No control. What was one more nail in my coffin? I was dead already.
I was denied the request to go for a walk when the girls went in for showers. That was my other lost hope. I wouldn’t know whether Lane would be at the beach or not. I wasn’t allowed to find out. Instead I cleaned the kitchen, and mopped the floors for the third time that week. I swallowed my pride and did it. That was my life until it wasn’t. Until everything came out. Until the truth. Whatever that was.
Chapter Seventeen
There was no way of telling what Paxton had in store for me. The text message told me to shower and lay in my bed until he got there. I did shower, I just didn’t lay in my bed yet. The thing is, I wanted him to come. I wanted him to cause whatever pain he could to soak up the thoughts. I didn’t want to be alone with them.
Rather than thinking about anything that confused me even more, I thought about two little girls and a crazy mom. I could see us running on the beach in a distance. We were all flying kites, high above the sea. If only I could go back to that time. The time before my mom fell, before Rod and Dink, before they took Izzy from me, before Ms. Porter, and Falcon, before Markus Long, and—. Wait. Markus Long?
“You never listen anymore. Head injury’s make you stupid.”
I didn’t respond to Paxton’s comment. Not the stupid part, anyway. “Are they asleep?”
“Don’t worry about it. I can take care of these girls just fine without you. Tell me what was said at the ballgame today.”
“I told you it was nothing.”
“Yes, yes you did. Lay down, slut.”
I rolled my eyes and noticeably shook my head. I wasn’t afraid of Paxton Pierce. Not even a little. Maybe I was at one time, maybe I should have been, but I wasn’t, and I wasn’t going to pretend to be. Maybe enduring his wrath would stop all the thoughts. My obedience to lie on my bed was even defiant. I didn’t gracefully sit, and lay down. I plopped. Straight back. Like I was falling from five stories. From a fire escape. My eyes remained closed and the room stilled. I knew if I opened my eyes, Paxton would be wearing a puzzled expression.