Chapter Seven

Ember

“Mom, I’m not going to your place.” I hold the phone between my shoulder and ear as I repeat myself for what has to be the fifth time. I know I don’t live in the best area, but no one is selling drugs out on the corner. The day I packed up my shit and left, I vowed I’d never go back there, and I meant it.
“Tony isn’t even there.”
My stomach turns at the mention of Tony. He and my mom have been off and on for years. He gives me the creeps, and it’s messed up that my mom knows I don’t want to be near him, yet she keeps seeing him. I’ll never understand her. I think she’s addicted to the drama of the relationship. The cocaine too.
“I’ll bring it to your work on my way to the casino.” I look through my purse, making sure I have everything I need for work.
“Oh, that works.” She perks up. “You know Lawrence always likes seeing you.”
He’s a nice guy. Well, as nice as someone who owns a strip club can be.  He keeps my mom out of trouble for the most part.
“I’ll see you soon.” I end the call and check my app to grab a lift.
“You’re not giving her money.” I turn around to see Diamond standing there glaring at me while still half asleep.
“She has to pay her rent.”
“Yeah, she has to pay her rent. Not you.”
She’s right, but it's hard to explain. I know my mom is shitty, and I’m lucky I made it out without anything ever happening to me that I couldn’t come back from. I knew it was only a matter of time before that luck ran out. I packed up on my eighteenth birthday and got the hell out of there, but I’m still tied to her in so many ways.
“I can’t let her get tossed on the street.”
“She’s just going to snort it up her nose or worse.”
“Maybe.” I shrug as I go back into my bedroom and open my dresser. I take out a few hundred of Rogue’s money and I’m thankful now more than ever that I have it.
“Come on, Ember. That’s your savings for school. You'll never get to go if you let her eat away at it.”
“I already told her I’d cover her this month. I told her this month and no more.” I shut the drawer and face Diamond.
“You told her that a few months ago,” she reminds me like I don’t remember.
“Dia. Please. I don’t need this thrown in my face right now. I get it, and I know I shouldn't be doing it. You know how bad I want to save my money to get out of this.” I motion toward my outfit. It was just as hard to get it on today as it had been yesterday.
“Shit. I’m sorry.” She walks over, giving me a hug. “I just want the best for you. I hate to think someone is using you.”
There is no think to it. I know she’s using me, but I can’t help myself.
“I know.” I hug her back.
“You’ll get there soon. House of Heavenly Cosmetology College isn't going to know what hit them.”
“Thanks.” I smile as my phone chimes, letting me know my ride is here.
I grab a coat to cover up my outfit until I get to work. When I get to the car, I check the time since I still have to meet with Neil before my shift. I’m dreading this day and excited about it at the same time. I don't want to deal with Neil, but I do want to see Rogue again. I’ve been thinking about him all day.
I don’t know what’s gotten into me with him because I find myself pushing his buttons. I bait him for a reaction, and I have no idea why. I also feel bold with him, which is an unfamiliar sensation. All that talk about him buying me turned me on, and I think it surprised both of us.
“Can you wait for me?” I ask the driver when she rolls to a stop in front of The Landing Strip. I hand her a twenty in cash.
“Yeah. I’ll wait,” she says as I get out of the car.
I want to get this over with. I hate this place and it’s been in my life for way too long. For years I’d sit in the back with all the girls keeping an eye on me between dances. It gave me a messed-up view of men.
I’d learned to stay away from them, yet here I am toying with one. I loathe that men here think they can buy women, but when Rogue said it, my whole body lit up. I think something deep inside of me wants to be owned by the grumpy giant. To think that I could somehow tame the beast is a crazy thought, and I need to come back to reality.
I pull open the side door, and thankfully it’s too early for the place to be busy yet. A couple of men sit in front of the stage and watch the only girl that’s on the floor right now.
“Ember.” I turn at the sound of my name to see Lawrence sitting at the bar.
“Hey.” I walk over toward him. “I’m meeting my mom.” He picks up his radio and calls back for her.
“I heard you got a job at the casino.”
“Yeah. I’m serving drinks on the floor.”
He lets out a whistle. “I’ve seen those girls' outfits. Doesn't leave much to the imagination.”
I shake my head, smiling.  I already know where this is going. “They aren't that bad.”
“If you’re going to do that, you might as well work here. You could make triple the money.”
“Thanks for the offer, but I’m good.”
“Come on. A girl like you would bring in a whole different crowd.”
I try not to cringe because I'm sure he’s talking about men who like thick girls. Chubby chasers? I hate the labels.
“She needs to lose a little weight first, but I could never get her to diet.” I turn my head to see my mom standing there. She towers over me in her heels, and not for the first time I wonder how we're related. I’m short, she’s tall; I’m thick, and she’s a rail. I could do this all day.
“Don’t be a bitch, Tina.” Lawrence stands up for me, but her comments just roll off my back. It’s been years of just ignoring them.
“What? I’m being helpful. I’m her mother, I should tell her these things.” She purses her lips.
“I’m not taking my clothes off for money.”
Liar,my mind sneers. I pull the money out and hand it to my mom. She snatches it from me quickly, and Lawrence shakes his head.
“Don’t come in here on your high horse. My stripping kept a roof over your head for years.”
How do either of them not see how weird it is for a mother and daughter to work at the same strip club? Though she doesn't look like my mom, she’s still pretty even though she used to be gorgeous. Too many years of using drugs and the one resource she uses to make money is drying up.
“I need to get back to work.” She pulls me in for an awkward hug before she walks off without a goodbye.
“You gotta stop coming here,” Lawrence says.
“I know,” I sigh.
“See you later, kid.”
I smile before going back outside to the waiting car. I haven't even started my shift, and I’m already tired. I don’t know how she does it, but she can drain the energy right out of me.
By the time I make it to the casino, I’ve pushed all thoughts of her away. I have my own stuff to worry about, and I’ve still got to meet with Neil. I have a bad feeling about this. I knew the look in his eyes because I’ve seen it in some of my mom's boyfriends.
I head to my locker and take my coat off before changing into my heels. My calves burn from the workout I did earlier. It wasn’t much, but it almost killed me. I know Rogue told me not to, but for some reason that made me want to do it even more. There I go playing with danger.
My mood starts to change thinking about him, and I wonder when he’ll get here. Will it be later in my shift, or could he want to see me so badly that he’s here first thing? I’m still surprised he tracked me down and it wasn't for the money. It should’ve bothered me that he came to my home, but it hadn’t. All I felt was excitement and a thrill. God, maybe my mother and I have something in common after all.
I don’t know what this is I feel for Rogue, but I want to find out. What if he asks me to go home with him tonight? Why not? I never do anything like this, and I can have one wild night to see where this goes. Right?
Neil calls my name, breaking me from my wonderful thoughts, and my stomach drops. I turn around to see him standing in the doorway of his office. “Change of plans. Come see me after your shift.”
Before I can tell him I have plans, he’s already shutting his office door. Gah. I hate that man.