by Tillie Cole
Judah’s words were right. My uncle performed these ceremonies, and our people never doubted him. And I knew, as per our traditions, I had to lead these practices. Our beliefs were based on sexual pleasure, even if I had never experienced it myself.
“Brother?” Judah prompted. I nodded my head.
“I will lead them,” I agreed, fighting my inner will, which taught me otherwise.
Judah’s face split into a huge grin. “Perfect,” he sighed in relief. “And believe me, you will want to participate after today.”
I frowned again. But all I could replay in my head were Mae’s words… Have you ever raped a child… have you ever taken a child in a brother-sister exchange…
As the van drove on, I looked out of the window, then closed my eyes. I prayed to the Lord to help me navigate this nightmare.
*****
An hour later, Brother Luke pulled onto a side road, a dirt path to a familiar place.
“Why are we here?” I asked Judah.
“You know this place?” he asked in surprise.
I nodded. “Judah, what—”
“You have waited this long, brother. Just a few more minutes and you will see what I have done for you.”
I looked out of the window at the ghost town we used to use in drop offs with the Hangmen, and my stomach rolled in trepidation. There was nothing here. Nothing here but derelict buildings and dirt.
I sat in silence as we approached a dark old mill. There was a van out front, but nothing else. As our van drew to a halt, two men came out of the mill.
The men were dressed all in black. They weren’t from the commune. They were no one I recognized.
The bigger one of the two flicked his chin as we got out of the van. “Judah?” he asked, but I shook my head and pointed to my brother. The man smirked. “Fuck. Hard to tell you two apart.”
Judah stepped forward and took the lead. “Did it all go well?”
“Like clockwork,” the man replied. “Our men went in and moved the stiff. Nothing will be left when the next person turns up. Total disappearance. Records have been wiped about who she was meeting. No traces, like the Klan’s Grand Wizard paid us to do. We do shit right. That’s why he put us on the job.”
Paid men, I thought. But what did Judah need paid men for?
“And the stock?” Judah asked.
“In the mill. Along with the girl.”
Judah’s eyes brightened again. I wondered what had got him so excited. Then he turned to me. “Ready for your surprise?”
I cautiously nodded my head. Judah and I followed the men toward the mill. Silence reigned as we approached. The man Judah had spoken to unlocked the large mill door. In a matter of seconds he pulled it wide open. Dim light from oil lamps spilled onto the dirt road and we all stepped inside. At first I could see nothing but an empty old mill. Then, at the back I could see a young girl holding a gun at someone tucked behind a wooden partition.
Lord, I thought. The girl looked all of thirteen or fourteen, maybe? And she was one of ours; dressed in the commune’s uniform gray dress and white headdress.
The paid men turned and smiled. “Refused to move for even a second. Said she was a soldier in the holy war, and that she would keep her post until you guys arrived.”
I narrowed my eyes on the girl, trying hard to recognize her. I could not, but when I turned to Judah, he was watching her. Watching her like she was his everything. Like he used to look at Phebe…
No…
“Brother Judah.” The female voice came from the young girl. When I moved my attention toward the back of the mill, the young girl came running toward Judah and immediately wrapped her arms around his waist. Judah’s arms circled her back and he pressed a kiss to her forehead.
My heart sank as I looked at my brother, my twenty-four year old twin brother who pushed the girl back and smash his lips to her mouth. I watched in shock, only for him to break from the kiss and turn her to me. Her blue eyes immediately dropped and she bowed her head. “Prophet, I am honored to meet you.”
My gaze snapped to Judah who was smiling proudly. “This is Sarai, brother. My consort. Is she not beautiful?”
I had no words in response, and Judah stepped closer. “She has been integral to my plan, to my surprise for you.” Judah reached out and took Sarai’s hand. “You did well, my love.”
Her blue eyes sparkled at my brother and then her lip curled. “They are whores. All of them. The men they reside with, the devil’s men, they are impure, sinners of the worst kind. I felt sick the entire time I was with them. But I kept strong for the cause. I kept focus on our plan. And they never doubted me for a second.”
Judah kissed her head and with his arm around her shoulders, promised. “They will be exorcised of their misgivings when we return home. They will be punished, and you will be praised. Just wait until our people hear of what you have done for them.”
I listened to Judah talk to Sarai. And I watched as he led her forward toward the wooden partition. But all I could hear in my head was, They are whores. All of them. The men they reside with, the devil’s men, they are impure, sinners of the worst kind…
No, I thought, as my heart slammed in my chest. He would not go against my orders. He did not go in and retrieve them, not until we were strong, not until we were ready; surely he did not—
“Brother, come,” Judah said, smiling at me as he stood looking behind the partition at someone. “I have something you need to see.”
My legs felt as though they were carrying dead weight as I walked forward. And as I passed the wooden partition, I heard a gasp and my eyes snapped to the left.
My breathing stilled when I saw her, and my pulse took off like a bat out of hell in my neck. She looked exactly the same. Long black hair, the purest and palest of white skin, and ice blue eyes. Eyes that were abnormally wide as they stared up at me now.
And it felt like it was just yesterday that I’d seen her. Felt like just yesterday when we had sat together in my room, watching movies and lazing on the couch.
“Mae,” I whispered, as I took a step forward.
But Mae flinched at my movement, and the sisters at her side curled further into her. It took me a moment to realize that they were all terrified. That Mae was fearful of me.
Me.
A hand clapped on my shoulder and Judah stood by my side. I saw Mae look from Judah to me and back again, as though she could not believe what stood before her. “This is your gift?” I asked Judah, quietly. “You retrieved the Cursed from the Hangmen, without my permission?”
Judah’s hand became iron tight and I heard his quick inhale of breath at the tone of my voice. “You need a wife, brother. And I knew you would only take her,” he pointed to Mae and bit out, “Salome. The destined wife of the Prophet.” Judah sighed, but added, “I know you said to wait, but we are protected by God. And you need a wife.” He pointed at Mae. “You need her.”
Mae’s eyes closed as she heard those words, and I stepped forward again, shrugging off Judah’s hold. “Leave us,” I said to Judah and Brother Luke, who had been waiting behind us.
“But, Cain—”
“I said leave us!” I shouted, as I glanced behind to meet my brother’s eyes. His jaw clenched as he stared me down, but he turned and left the mill, taking the child and the men with him.
When they had gone, I ran my hands through my hair. What had he been thinking? Sending that child in—a child he had been taking sexually—into the Hangmen's compound to retrieve the Cursed. We were not strong enough. And Styx would bring all of Hades’ fury on the commune when he realized she was gone. All three were here, and it would not take long for the Prez to work out where they had been taken. I was to get her, in time. But not yet.
Not fucking yet!
“Cain?” The soft sound of Mae’s shaking voice stopped me dead, and exhaling, I turned to see Mae looking up at me. Her sisters' hands were gripping hers, but she released them to get to her feet.
“Mae,
no!” the blond one called out. And when I looked down at her, my stomach rolled. Her long hair had been cut off, and with her head looking up, I could see a long scar running down her cheek.
But then Mae was suddenly before me and my heart clenched in my chest. She took all of my attention. Her hand lifted to tuck her long hair behind her ear. Then those blue eyes looked up at me and I was frozen to the spot.
“What… what are you going to do with us?” she asked. I could see that she was terrified. Her voice was shaking… all of her was shaking. “Are we to be killed? Are we to be taken back to the commune and tried?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but it was Mae. It was Mae before me.
She swallowed then begged, “Please… please let us go. Do not hurt us.”
My heart pumped loudly, when Mae’s hands landed on her torso and ran down until they lay on her stomach. Her eyes dipped, and when they lifted, they were brimming with tears. I could not believe how beautiful she still was, and how my stomach still tightened when she was close. But my eyes kept running back to her hands, placed carefully over her stomach.
Then I noticed the ring. Feeling like I had been punched, I asked, “You’re married? You married Styx?”
Mae’s eyes winced as I mentioned her man, then she shook her head. “Not yet,” she said fearfully, her eyes flinching at my tone. “But one day we will be. For now we are content to be engaged.” Mae pointed behind her to Lilah. “But Lilah is married to Ky. And Maddie…” Mae pointed over her other shoulder, “she now belongs to Flame.”
My eyes widened as I looked at Mae’s tiny sister. She was now with Flame? Flame...? Flame who would be coming straight for us when he found out she had gone. Flame who would fucking slaughter us all.
Mae looked back at me, but this time I could see disbelief in her stare. I could see her fear. I could see the bravado of strength in front of her sisters, but she pushed through to say, “I always believed in you, Rider.” She shook her head as she spoke that name. “I mean, Cain.” She quickly corrected herself.
“I knew you were destined to be the Prophet. But I always believed you were a good man, deep down.” Mae glanced behind her at Delilah whose blue eyes seemed to be staring off at nothing, as though she was paralyzed by fear. “Even when your men came for me and mistakenly took Lilah, she told me that you begged her to confess her sins. She told me that she knew you were trying to save her. That it was the other men in your confidence that hurt and defiled her.”
Delilah whimpered behind Mae at this revelation. My blood cooled to ice water.
“But sending in a young girl. A young innocent girl, so under the control of The Order, to our home, a girl who killed an innocent to bring us here, to you… well, that is nothing like the Rider I once knew.”
“Mae,” I uttered, and went to reach forward. But her hands gripped onto her stomach tighter. “Why are you holding your stomach like that?” I snapped.
Mae inhaled, and straightening her shoulders, said, “I cannot marry you, Cain. I am not pure like the scripture proclaims I need to be.” She swallowed, and fighting back tears said, “I am pregnant. I am pregnant with Styx’s baby.”
Delilah and Magdalene gasped from behind Mae, but all I felt was a blow to my stomach. My lungs seized, but my eyes could not look away from Mae’s hands on her stomach.
A sob came from Mae’s mouth, and she said, “And he does not even know. I only just found out and I have yet to tell him.” Her blue eyes filled with tears, which then ran down her face. “And now we have been taken. I am with child. I am finally happy in my life, and now we have been taken and given to you!” Mae shook her head and said, “When will this stop? When will you all realize in that commune that we do not belong to you! We are not part of that faith. We have left. We have left and have no desire to ever return! And when will you realize I am not destined to be the prophet’s wife!”
“No,” I shook my head, and stepped backwards. “You are meant to be mine. The scripture says so!”
Mae stared at me in absolute disbelief, and whispered, “No, Cain. I am Styx’s. I have always been and will always be Styx’s. The prophecy was not for me. I am not the one you must marry. Nor Lilah, nor Maddie. Can you not see that? Can you not finally see that we do not belong to you! We are not special. We are no different to any other woman on this planet. It was a senile old man that proclaimed something out of the blue. Something purely based on our looks. God did not pick us out. He did not pick any of us out!”
Crouching down, I felt like my head was full of noise, my heart empty, as was my role in this life. Feeling Mae’s heavy stare, I looked up. Her hand lying over her forehead. “It is all going wrong. None of this is what I was raised believing. And they all look to me. They all follow my lead. And they believe that I should marry you.”
Mae’s head fell in defeat.
Delilah’s blond hair caught my attention from behind Mae. Getting to my feet, I brushed past Delilah who shuffled back against the wooden wall and cowered back in fear.
“What was done to you?” I asked. Delilah sank back and began to tremble. Looking over my shoulder to see Judah pacing outside of the mill, I knew I had limited time. “What was done to you at your trial? What happened to you on the Hill of Perdition?”
Tears ran down Delilah’s face, but then Mae said from behind, “They raped her, Cain. Over and over, before tying her to a stake and setting it alight. They intended to burn her like a witch. Your brother gave her thirty-nine stripes, the scars from which still mar her back. In essence, Cain, they tortured her for hours, and you did nothing to stop it. You washed your hands of her and let them brutalize her, for fun, for nothing but their sadistic amusement. Our scripture does not teach what she went through. It does not even infer it.”
My eyes stayed on Delilah as Mae’s words tore me apart, and I asked, “Is that true? Is what Mae is telling me, true?” Delilah lifted her head.
“Yes,” she whispered, but I did not need to hear the answer to know it was true. I could see it in her eyes. Judah, my men, had done to her exactly what Phebe had declared to be true.
I pushed my hands through my hair and looked to Mae. Her blue eyes held nothing but pain and disappointment. “I did not know they did that. I did not declare that to be her punishment.”
Mae’s eyes fell lovingly on Delilah and she asserted, “But you did nothing to stop it. You left your brother to conduct his own form of punishment, at least that was what Lilah told me. And he did. You gave him free rein to torture an innocent woman.”
“I would not have allowed that to happen if I had known he would stray from the scripture. Judah and I were raised together. We share the same beliefs. I trusted he would do as I would have.”
Mae glanced down, then with a deathly pale face asked, “Then you too have a child consort? You too have taken children?” She wiped away a tear. “Like we all were taken. Have you too awakened a small child? Sarai is but fourteen, yet by the look of things, she is your brother’s main consort. Do you share those beliefs too? After everything I told you about me, about what we all went through? Can you honestly believe that God wants this from his chosen people?”
Dipping my head, Mae’s spoken truths cut deeper than any dagger ever could. “You know I do not.” I shook my head, feeling the fool. “I was waiting for you. I am pure and was waiting for you. But now…” I trailed off, looking down to her stomach.
Mae wrapped her arms around herself, protectively, and said, “What are you to do with us now? What are you to do with my baby? Please let us go, Cain… please, if there is any good left within you, just let us go. Do not take my family from me… please…”
Anger built in my stomach as I stared at Mae. Anger that she should have been with me, but was not. Anger that Judah had lied to my face when I had asked him what punishment he inflicted on Delilah. And anger at myself, for not knowing every part of the commune’s day to day practices. For not knowing what Judah was permitting when holding the Lord’s Sharing
s. For not knowing he had taken children. For not knowing his consort was a fourteen-year-old child, one that he had planted in the Hangmen, without my permission. And his plan to bring the Cursed to me, knowing we were not strong enough yet to defend against the Hangmen if they attacked, as surely they now would.
Then I noticed something else… I noticed a purse near the wooden wall, and my stomach sank. Rushing forward, I picked up the purse that was laid next to where Delilah was sat and ripped open the zipper. I pushed in my hand, and in seconds felt her cell in my hand.
I blanched.
With my hands fisted at my side, I shouted, “Judah!”
Judah came running in, Sarai following behind. I pointed at her and ordered, “Get out! I did not call for you! You have no business answering my call!”
Sarai paled, but then ran back out of mill. Judah looked to me, and a proud smile began to spread on his lips. That just incensed me even more, and I stepped closer to him. “Get the van readied,” I ordered.
Judah looked down to the sisters and said, “And what about them?”
I went to push past Judah, when he grabbed my arm. “What are you doing?” he asked quietly, but I could hear the anger in his voice.
“I am letting them go,” I replied shortly.
“You are what?” Judah asked in exasperation, his hands running through his hair.
“I am letting them go. They no longer belong with us at New Zion. They are wed and having children with other men. If the Lord wanted them with us, he would have never made that possible.”
Judah grabbed onto my arm again. “Then the devil’s men win. If we cannot use them as wives, then we shall take them in revenge. They invaded our sacred land, they killed our uncle. They must pay. We are in a war!”
With a surge of fury in my blood, I pressed my palms to Judah’s chest and slammed him against the nearby wooden wall.
Judah’s eyes widened and I lifted the cell in my hand. “Do you know what this is, brother?”