My heart twists in my chest. She’s not alright.
“Maddy,” I start to tell him, but my throat closes. I shake my head and pound my fist into the wall.
“How long?” I ask him again. My words come out harder than they should.
“Like fifteen minutes.” I nod my head and swallow thickly. “What happened?” he asks again, and I know I need to tell him.
“I gotta call Nikolai,” I tell him as chills run down my arms.
Fuck, having to make this call makes it that much more real.
I pull my phone from my pocket and dial his number. I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t be calling to talk about this shit. It’s against code. Nothing is ever discussed on the phone. It’s the reason I drove here.
I press the buttons and put the phone to my ear. Every ring makes me worry more and more, like he’s avoiding me. Like maybe they’re gonna take a hit out on me and keep me in the dark about it.
It’s Nikolai, I tell myself. He wouldn’t do that to me. He was everything to me growing up. He’s not gonna fuck me over like that. Right?
Finally, he answers, “Yeah?” Hearing his voice answer the same way he always does is a good sign. A good fucking sign.
“Nikolai, I got a problem.” I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes. Fuck! I wish this weren’t real. I wish I could just take it back. I’d take it all back to save her.
“You need me?” I can hear him move the phone and I’m guessing he took it off speaker.
“You don’t know?” I ask him.
“Know what?”
“Something happened today at the shop.”
“How bad?” he asks.
I shake my head and reply, “Not bad. It’s just, my girl.” I swallow thickly before continuing. “She was here and went out the back when the van was here.”
“That’s not good, Zane.” Nikolai’s voice is low. There’s a pause before he asks, “Did she see anything?”
I can’t lie to him. “She saw a bit, but she knows not to say shit.” I say the last words with conviction. “She’s not gonna say shit to anyone.” I start pacing the room with my hands in my hair. Needles is watching me like he’s ready to go to war with me. He's always been a loyal friend like that. But he’s nervous as fuck. “She’s good for it. I’d put my life on it.”
“Just calm down, Zane.” He’s talking like there’s nothing wrong with what happened.
“I think Garret’s gonna want her,” I say, and I have to pause. I can’t finish the sentence. I shouldn’t, first of all. This is all going down on the phone and I can’t say shit like that. But that’s not the reason I can’t get it out. The thought of them going after her makes me physically sick, almost unable to speak.
“We won’t touch her. He won’t touch her.” He’s quick to answer, and his words are absolute.
“I have a bad feeling, Nikolai.” I’m telling him the truth. I really do. Something in my gut is telling me she’s not okay, that she's still in danger.
“It’s me, I got your back, Zane.” Hearing Nikolai’s voice telling me it’s alright calms me down a good bit. Maybe it’s all just in my head because I had to end it with her. Maybe that’s why I feel so fucked.
I did need to end it though. She can’t be around this shit. I’ll never be able to bring a good girl into this shit life. I should’ve known better.
“She’s a good girl, Nik,” I tell him simply.
He chuckles low and rough on the other end. “I’m sure she is, and she’s fine.”
“Do you need anything from me?” I ask him. I can’t imagine it’s that easy. That she saw some shit, but they’re just gonna let her go.
“Nah, it’s all good.” It’s silent for a moment. “You alright?” he asks.
No. I’m not alright.
“Yeah, I’m good.” I nod my head and look out the small window in Needles’ room. “If it’s all good and she’s safe,” I feel the need to clarify so he knows exactly what I’m saying. “Then I’m good.”
He hesitates on the other end and my heart stops in my chest. But finally he responds, “It’s all good. And I give you my word that she’s safe. Go calm your ass down.”
I wait another moment, letting the words sink in before I end the call.
“What’d he say?” Needles asks. I shove the phone back in my pocket and try to calm down.
“He said she’s good... It’s all good.”
We stare at each other, neither of us saying shit, but I’m sure we’re both thinking the same thing. He’s lying. She’s a witness, and that means she’s dead.
“Needles, help me take her car back, man.” I can’t even look him in the eyes.
“Yeah, sure,” he says as he takes a hesitant step toward me. “It’s gonna be alright.” He nods his head weakly, barely keeping eye contact with me.
Even he doesn’t believe it.
Chapter 22
Madeline
I shouldn’t be here.
It’s been days since I last saw Zane. Yet, he’s been on my mind ever since. Every waking moment has been spent thinking about him. I can’t get him out of my head. The more I think about my situation, the more I begin to rationalize. So what if he's mixed up in a world of crime? Does that make him a bad person? He said he didn’t sell them. That it wasn’t like that. Maybe they pressured him. Maybe he’s the victim.
I raise my hand and pause right before I knock on Zane’s door, thinking, I should leave.
But I can’t. All I can think about is Zane. I want to see him again, that cocky smile, that chiseled body. I want to feel his strong hands again, touching me, feeling me, caressing me.
I want to feel better, and I know he can make me feel good. I know he can. He’s like a drug made just for me.
Taking a deep breath and gathering my courage, I knock. There’s no answer. I knock several more times. My knuckles rap against the wood and each time the hollow sound makes my heart squeeze harder and harder in my chest. Still no answer. I stand there for what seems like eternity before finally giving up.
He’s not coming to the door. Bastard.
Feeling tears well up in my eyes, I turn away and walk back over to my door.
It’s a good thing he didn’t answer, I tell myself as I storm back inside feeling mad as hell. I should stay away. I always thought he was bad for me, but now I know for absolute sure.
As much as I want to believe those words, I can’t stop thinking about him. Maybe right now he needs me. God, I wish this ache in my chest would just go away. I wish we could get lost in each other and just run away. I think about how well we went together, when the world would disappear around us. How much I miss his touch, his hot lips, his naughty words spoken in my ear.
Goddamn it, Maddy! Be strong!
But I can’t. Just thinking about Zane makes me weak.
“Are you okay, Maddy?” Katie asks with concern as I brush by her.
I ignore her and continue on to my room. There’s nothing she can say that will make me feel better, and in a way, I blame her for my misery. After all, wasn’t she the one that encouraged me to see Zane?
Katie follows me down the hall and up the stairs, but I pretend she isn’t there. When I reach my room, I close the door on her. Before I can lock it, she pushes her way in.
I turn my face to the side to hide the tears. “Please, just go away!”
Kate walks in and closes the door. She crosses her arms across her chest and defiantly says, “No, Maddy. I refuse. I’m not going to let you walk around and treat me this way.”
“I’m not treating you in any way,” I deny.
“Bullshit. You’re taking what happened with Zane out on me.”
“No I’m not.” My words sound hollow. Empty.
“Keep telling yourself that.” Katie pauses and then accuses, “I saw you go over there.”
“So what?” I reply defensively. “I wanted to talk to him.”
“What the hell are you thinking? I told you to stay away from him.” Sh
e’s angry, and her words are like venom.
“You know that’s funny, Katie, when you’re the same one that encouraged me to give him a chance.”
“Yeah, I did. I’m not ashamed of it either. How was I supposed to know he was involved in that shit?” I want to argue with her, but I bite my tongue. She's right. I can't blame her for not knowing the truth about Zane.
“You weren’t,” I admit grudgingly.
“Okay then. Now that I know the truth, I want you to do me a favor. Don’t see him. Ever.”
My heart twists in my throat. It hurts. It hurts just thinking about it.
Seeing my tormented expression, Katie presses on, saying, “He lied to you.”
“He didn’t really,” I find myself saying, “He just kept the truth from me. Which isn’t exactly the same thing as lying.”
I can’t believe I’m defending him, I think to myself. After all I’ve said about guys being no-good dogs, and now I’m taking up for someone who's been dishonest to my face.
“Maybe I can change him,” I say, trying to convince Katie as much as I'm trying to convince myself. “Maybe he’ll stop.”
“Are you even listening to yourself?” Katie asks with disbelief. “Is the same Maddy I grew up with, or did aliens abduct her and stick me with this clone? 'Cause you can’t be serious.”
“I know it sounds stupid, Katie, but... maybe Zane will change for me… I mean, I feel like he would…” I trail off weakly.
Kate raises a finger sharply, cutting me off from whatever I might say next. “Stop it, Maddy, just fucking stop. You tried this very thing with Zach. And did that work?”
“No,” I admit reluctantly. Katie’s right. It’s just that I hate how I feel inside. I hate how I feel my very existence depends upon being with Zane. Being with him is intoxicating beyond words. Being without him is like being in a dark, lifeless abyss. “I just don’t know what to do.”
“It'll take a while, but get back involved in your studies and try your best to stop thinking about Zane. I’ll even do whatever it takes to help you keep your mind off him. After a while, it’ll be easy.”
Katie’s being overly optimistic. The guy lives next door and we’re stuck in our lease for the rest of the year. How the hell am I going to stop thinking about him when I can look through my bedroom window and he’s right there?
“You’ll find someone else somewhere along the line in the future, someone who loves you and that’ll treat you right.”
I can’t take it. I break down and start sobbing. I feel Katie’s arms wrap around me a second later.
“Shh,” she coos. “Everything’s going to be alright.” She comforts me. It feels good to be held. I just feel so damn alone without him.
When I finally stop sobbing she says, “Come on girl. Pull yourself together. We got class in the next thirty minutes. That jerk-off is not about to ruin you like Zach did. Just be happy that you found out what you did before the relationship went any further.”
After Katie’s sure I’m okay, we take off to school. When we arrive, I’m a cauldron of bubbling emotions I can hardly contain.
I don’t know why I agreed to come to class today, I think to myself as Katie pulls in between two trucks on the west side of the parking lot. I’m a total mess.
Katie gathers her books and begins to get out, but pauses when she sees I’m not budging. “What are you doing?”
“Sitting here,” I say, trying to hold back tears.
Katie frowns. “Aren’t you going to get out?”
“In a minute.”
Katie opens her mouth to protest but I sharply say, “Katie, not now. Please. I need a moment to collect myself.”
Katie stares at me long and hard. “Fine,” she says reluctantly. “But don’t stay in here too long. You’ll just be making it worse.” She climbs out of the car. Before she shuts the door she adds, “I’ll be sending you a text to check on you. Answer it. And I’m taking the keys.”
Then she walks off and I watch her for a moment before breaking down into tears. Luckily, this crying fit only lasts a few minutes, and after a few sobs, I’m able to pull myself together.
One day it’ll stop hurting. I know it will. I just need to live through the pain and it’ll go away. One day.
I gather my books and then check my makeup in the mirror. My mascara is all runny and smudged. I quickly fix it and then step out of the car. I’m about to round the car when I hear the sound of running footsteps.
Before I can turn around, rough powerful hands clamp down on my mouth. I try to scream, but there's a rag pressed to my face. I try to shake the hands off of me. I inhale deeply, and then belatedly realize I need to hold my breath. The rag is obviously laced with something to knock me out. Fuck! I struggle against the man. Or is it men? But my body feels weak. I’m losing control of my limbs.
Then I go unconscious.
Chapter 23
Madeline
I come to with my hair in my face. When I try to push it out of the way, I realize that my arms are pinned behind my back. I groan. I feel sore all over. Slowly, I open my eyes and experience a jolt of shock.
This can’t be happening.
Though I’m bent forward with my hair in my face, I'm able to distinguish my surroundings. I’m in a chair, in a dark room and it’s very quiet. Panicking, I struggle against my bonds, my fingers grazing against the rough material. Rope. Fuck! They tied me up. I pull harder, but I only succeed in burning my skin. It’s tied too tightly. Damn it! Tears flood my eyes. Nausea twists my stomach.
Please tell me this is all just a dream.
But it's real. Very fucking real.
My mind is rushing with all sorts of doomsday thoughts. Who kidnapped me? Why was I kidnapped? And worse of all, what do they plan on doing with me? The latter thought terrifies me and chills my body.
Is it because of Zane?
I don’t want to believe it. Zane wouldn’t do something like this to me… would he? It's a scary thought. If it’s true, it means I never really knew him all along. I try not to despair.
“Vlad, I have a gift for you,” a deep, familiar voice says, startling me. Up until that moment, I thought I was alone. I turn my head slightly to get a visual on who’s talking. My blood goes cold when I see who it is. Standing in a darkened corner is Garret with a phone pressed to his ear. He’s staring at me in a way that makes me want to writhe against my bonds and get the fuck out of here, but the fear is so strong that I’m paralyzed.
“What do you think, boss, eh?” Garret asks on the phone. “She’s older than what you’re used to, but she’s just your type.” Garret laughs and then adds darkly, “The fighting kind.” He smiles, a sick and disgusting sight that turns my stomach.
I can hear a voice on the other end and then silence, but Garret doesn’t respond and keeps staring at me with those dead, chilly eyes.
I go dizzy with terror. “Zane!” I yell, tears streaming down my face. “Zane, please don’t let them hurt me!” I shake violently in my chair, struggling in vain to break free.
Garret’s handsome face twists with rage and he walks over and backhands me in the face. I gasp with pain as my head whips to the side, and he snarls, “Shut up, you stupid bitch! That piece of shit ain’t coming to save your ass.”
The taste of metallic blood fills my mouth as stinging pain shoots through my face. Fuck, that hurt.
“Thanks to you, he’s good as fucking dead.” My heart stops beating. No. No!
Garret gives me a wicked smile at the look of confused distress on my face. “Yeah that’s right, bitch. Zane is dead because of you.”
“I-I-I didn’t do anything for Zane to deserve this,” I stammer. “Please don’t hurt him.
“Lying whore!” Garret backhands me again and I cry out with pain. Hot fluid pours out of my nose. Blood. “You saw us unloading. Ain’t no way we’re gonna let you live after that.”
“I won’t tell anyone!” I try to yell, but my mouth hurts so fucking bad. The small
cuts sting, and I spit up blood. “I swear,” I say weakly as tears prick my eyes.
Garret chuckles evilly. “No amount of begging or lying is gonna save you, cunt. If you didn’t want to end up like this, you should’ve never got involved with Zane.”
I start sobbing incoherently. This isn’t fair. Not for me. Not for Zane. Not for anyone.
I feel a hand touch my shoulder, and my heart nearly stops.
Oh no. Oh God, no.
Garret chuckles at my terror, guessing my worry. “Don’t worry, bitch. We’re not going to rape you... yet. I gotta wait for the boss and the camera so we can give Zane a nice parting gift.” His fingers touch my chin and I rip my head away. He smiles down at me as he says, “I want him to be able to watch.”
“Fuck you!” I scream at the top of my lungs, no longer caring about what happens to me. At this point, I feel like I have nothing to lose. They’re not going to spare me, and I’m not going to give him the pleasure of seeing me beg for my life.
Garret laughs at my rage. “We’ll see how much shit you’ll be able to talk when I have my dick in your mouth.”
I sneer. “Fucking try it, and I’ll bite your dick off.”
“Fucking cocky bitch!” Roaring with rage, Garret shoves me and my chair topples over backward. My head slams against the floor, and I see stars. Through the pain I smile, pleased I made the evil fucker mad.
Garret lets out a snarl of frustration. “I can’t wait to fuck you, bitch,” he growls from somewhere above me. “You won’t be talking shit after I get done. You’ll be begging me to end your life.”
As defiant as I’ve become in this predicament, I don’t offer a response because I’m filled with terror.
When it’s obvious I have nothing else to say, he mutters something I can’t hear and leaves. I hear the sounds of footsteps, followed by a door closing. I’m left alone with my thoughts and the knowledge that I only have minutes or possibly even hours left to live.
Please God, help me! I plead within the depths of my mind. Please don’t let my life end in this way!