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Sometimes his mother exasperated him on so many levels. She made no sense at all. She had protested every one of his brother’s wives, when all of them had come from good families and could produce riders for the Ferraro family. The only conclusion he could draw was that she objected to the fact that they were love matches rather than arranged marriages.
Eloisa had the reports on Nicoletta’s birth mother and father. She knew as well as he did the family she came from. The Archambault family—riders or not—were renowned in their world for the strength of their psychic talents.
Taviano glanced at Nicoletta’s face. She had gone unnaturally still. Her dark eyes were on him, not his mother. Again, when normally Nicoletta was an open book, now she was impossible to read. He didn’t like the fact that she was so withdrawn that when he shifted to connect their shadows, he didn’t feel the jolt of awareness that always slammed so hard and deep into him. She’d taken herself somewhere else, and it was deliberate. She was protecting herself, and it wasn’t from his mother—it was from him.
“Yes, I’m very much aware that Leora had the good sense to marry an Archambault. I’m certain they directed her toward a cousin because she wasn’t a rider, but still, it was probably a good match. But when he died, she chose to marry far beneath her. That nasty family from New York. The Gomez family. They were all gangbangers.”
Color swept into Nicoletta’s face and her knuckles turned white where she gripped the edge of the table.
“Nicoletta was adopted by Desi Gomez and taken out of New York, far from his brothers and the gang he was born into. He stayed away from all of his relatives. He worked hard and built a good life for himself and his family. He was a good man, Eloisa. Everything said about him was good. Even the cops had good things to say about the man. It wasn’t his fault that he was killed in a car accident.”
“It was their fault that they didn’t have anything prepared for their daughter just in case they died, so she wasn’t sent to his brothers, now, wasn’t it?” Eloisa demanded, her voice snide.
Nicoletta stood up. “I suppose so, just as it was your fault that you sent your ten-year-old son to two horrible men against the warnings of the family he was with because you were too lazy to take care of him on your own, and then you were so selfish you didn’t get any help for him because you didn’t want your precious life disturbed in any way.”
She ignored Taviano, not even looking at him as she slipped past and opened the kitchen door, controlled violence in her movements as she closed it.
“This isn’t going to work, Taviano. She’s going to say something in front of Stefano. You know she will.” Eloisa cradled her injured arm to her and shook her head. “What a mess. I knew she would be impossible to deal with.”
“You think you can cow everyone by being ugly to them, Eloisa. You push everyone away and then wonder why you don’t see your grandson or have Emme around anymore. Nicoletta is my choice. She was my choice from the moment I saw her. I knew she was mine. You don’t have to like it any more than you have to like any of your other daughters-in-law, but you won’t talk about her parents like that in her home and upset her, not if you want to come here. You’re banned from Stefano’s and that’s a tragedy, when Francesca would always welcome you. You’re banned from Vittorio’s because you’re nasty to Grace.”
Eloisa rolled her eyes. “Grace. She’s a doormat for Vittorio and he spoils her rotten.”
“She’s not a doormat. If he spoils her, how can she be a doormat? That doesn’t even make sense. She loves him, and it’s their relationship. She likes pleasing him. He likes pleasing her. They work together. That’s how it’s done, Eloisa. People find other people that fit with them, the way Nicoletta fits with me.” He glanced down at the text message. “Henry is here with the car. I’ll be happy to walk you out.”
“I don’t think she fits quite as well as you think she does,” Eloisa said, standing. She gave him a little smirk. “She wasn’t in the least bit happy you and the family investigated her. She doesn’t understand money, and she never will. Don’t bother. I found my way in. I can find my way out.”
CHAPTER NINE
Taviano wound his way along the narrow path through the thick trees and brush into the deeper interior. The woods had been planted years earlier and had a good heavy growth. The vines creeping up the trunks gave off a perfumed lilac scent. Birds called to one another and he could hear the wings fluttering as they moved from branch to branch overhead. Instead of the lightness he normally felt when he took this trail, there was a heaviness that weighed on him.
He took in several deep breaths not only to calm himself but to calm Nicoletta, knowing that the heaviness was coming from her. It was embedded into the path itself and he felt it with every step he took. He moved slowly, not wanting her to feel as if she were being chased. Nicoletta could be lethal. She was a runner. And she was hurt by the things his mother had said about her adopted father. Desi Gomez had raised her from the age of two until she was fifteen, and from everything Taviano had read in the reports, he’d been a good man and an even better father. Nicoletta loved him just as she loved her mother.
He reached for her, for the connection between them. It was strong whether she liked it or not. That connection was forged in something very powerful. The shadows were tangled and knotted and merged because of what they shared, the ultimate ugliness that had created two strong warriors.
“You loved your parents. I don’t know that I can say that. I may have loved the idea of parents, but I can’t say that I love mine. I want to. I want to say Phillip was worth something, but he wasn’t.”
He didn’t raise his voice very loud. He didn’t have to. He was close to her. “Not to any of his children, and he treated Eloisa so horribly that it may as well be called abuse. He didn’t hit her, but it was emotional abuse. We all saw it. He knew her parents had drilled it into her that riding the shadows was her duty and that she had been born to do that and only that. It was her only worth. That gave him leave to do anything he wanted, and he took it. I detested him. All of us did. No, I can’t say that I ever loved him.”
Silence met his declaration, but she heard him. He knew by the sudden stirring in his mind. It felt feminine. She’d been crying, and that broke his heart. “I don’t like that you choose to cry alone. When you cry, Nicoletta, I prefer that you do it with my arms around you.”
Birds called back and forth, a loud noisy monologue that seemed to be over some kind of intruder the flock took exception to. The air would fill with small birds swooping and climbing high and then diving gracefully all together so they looked like one large shadowy machine chasing off a predator. He studied the images and knew she was doing the same thing.
“Are you comparing those birds chasing off the hawk to you chasing off my mother?”
There was the impression of a shrug. Their connection through their merged shadows was very strong and she wasn’t blocking it anymore. He was grateful for that, although he could feel her hurt and anger. Even her disdain. “Maybe not just your mother. Maybe you and your entire family with the way you treat people, Taviano. You’re so casual about your entitlements.”
He kept walking. Quiet. Controlled. Padding along the path like the predator he was. She knew he was one. She knew his entire family had been born predators. They were raised to be very skilled at what they did, and they had grown into extremely lethal beings. She was right that there was a sense of entitlement to some of their ways. They always investigated anyone who came close to them. They didn’t think anything about it or what effect it might have on the person being investigated should they find out. They’d never much cared one way or the other. The investigation was always thorough and a fact of life.
At times they offered a token resistance, but they always knew it was going to be done. When Nicoletta had been brought home to their family, there had been no question about doing an investigation, especially when they were asking Lucia and Amo to take her in. The Ferraro family w
as sponsoring her. They would mentor her, assume responsibility for her. Naturally, they would want to know everything they could about her.
Once the anomalies had begun to show up, the fact that her reflexes had grown faster, her movements in the shadows had increased, not decreased, so many things with Nicoletta that all of them noticed when training with her, they’d investigated even further, going so far as to make inquiries into the families in Europe, specifically the Archambault riders as to what psychic abilities their cousin had possessed.
“I suppose it seems that way, tesoro.” He moved steadily, right behind her, just out of her sight. The birds had settled back into the trees now that the hawk had been driven away.
“It doesn’t seem that way, Taviano, it is that way. All of you do whatever you want to do. You walk over other people. If you want something, you just take it. Or buy it. And you’re so casual about it. Eloisa is so cutting, not just to me but to anyone she thinks is inferior to her. What makes her so much better? Her money? Money doesn’t make anyone better.”
“No, piccola, it doesn’t.” He hated the sadness in her voice. Everything she said was true from her perspective and yet it wasn’t.
“Grace is so amazing. She really is. She’s like Francesca. Truly nice, and yet Eloisa looks down on her like she’s nothing, just the way she does Francesca.”
“Tell me why we’re having a discussion about Eloisa and her opinions on anyone.” He was too close now. He inhaled and closed his eyes as he took her scent into his lungs. He didn’t want to move up on her until she was ready to face him. “You shouldn’t care about her opinions.”
“I don’t.”
There was confusion in her voice, and he knew he needed to see her face. She’d stopped walking. “You do or you wouldn’t be so upset. You’re very upset.”
He pushed aside the heavy heart-shaped leaves and fragrant clusters of flowers hanging from a basswood tree and she was sitting beneath it, knees drawn up, arms wrapped around them tightly, gently rocking back and forth. She didn’t look up when he sank to the ground opposite her.
“Nicoletta. Tell me why you’re so upset over the things Eloisa has to say about everyone.”
She reached down and gathered up dirt in her hand, slowly letting it leak through her fingers to the ground. “You’re all different. You have to be. You can’t be like everyone else. I thought I could be like you, but it’s really not possible. I’m never going to fit in. At first I wanted to blame it on the fact that I was raped.”
She used the back of her hand to rub her forehead, as if she might have a headache. Taviano didn’t interrupt her, although he wanted to. He wanted to reassure her that she belonged with him no matter where they were or who he was. He forced himself to remain silent and hear her out.
“I realized, when Eloisa was talking so disparagingly about my mother and father, that I remember the way my mother would take me through the neighborhood, and we’d go to the park or library and wave and say hello to everyone. She knew everyone by name. They knew her. She liked them. She laughed all the time. She didn’t talk behind their backs. Not ever. She would have been so angry with me if I had done so. She gave me those lessons, Taviano, from the time I was little. People mattered to her, not money.”
“You mean the way they do to Francesca and Stefano? Or Grace and Vittorio? You aren’t as close with Giovanni and Sasha, but Sasha is just as down-to-earth as Francesca and Grace. Giovanni is the first man to look out for those less fortunate. Trust me, Sasha would box his ears if he ever got too pompous. Mariko doesn’t have a mean bone in her body, and Ricco is very kind. We work hard, Nicoletta, and most of what the public sees is so we can have alibis for what we don’t want them to see or know about our real business.”
She nodded. “I understand that. On the other hand, it’s so easy to just get on your private plane and go to any hotel and buy out an entire floor or the entire hotel if you want.”
“So, what you’re upset about is the fact that we have money.”
“I’m upset because you married me, Taviano, for all the wrong reasons, and I let you. I just let you. That’s why I’m upset.”
He studied her averted face. He could feel distress pouring off of her in waves. “You couldn’t care less about money. You didn’t marry me for that.”
“Don’t pretend you don’t know why I married you. This is humiliating enough. The good thing is, we didn’t consummate the marriage. We can get it annulled.”
“That’s not going to happen.” He was very firm about that. “There are perks to all that money, Nicoletta, and the lawyers I have access to. One of those is getting my way. You better believe there won’t be an annulment or a divorce. I made that very clear. We need to stop going round and round on this issue and focus on moving forward.”
“You’re very frustrating, Taviano.” She sent him a look from under her long lashes that made him want to lean across the small space between them and kiss her. “Do you see how entitled that makes you? You’re just proving my point.”
“Why? Because I’m honest about what I want? I told you from the beginning I wanted you. I knew it was you. I didn’t make any bones about that. You ran, and I chased after you.”
“You rejected me when I threw myself at you. It took a lot of courage to try to seduce you.”
“We were both drunk, Nicoletta. That isn’t courage, it’s alcohol. The minute you freaked out, and you would have, what if I didn’t have the control to stop? Where would we have been then? Do you have any idea what it cost me to turn you down? I’ve had a permanent erection for far too long. It was indecent because you were too young, and I was supposed to be looking out for you.”
“You did look out for me. It’s not your fault that I fell in love with you.”
“Why the fuck do you have to say it like that?” Temper swirled in his gut in spite of his determination to go carefully with her.
She winced. He rarely swore at her, especially since that night two years earlier. “Like what? How do you want me to say it? It’s the truth.”
“Like loving me is the worst thing that anyone could possibly do. I’m sure that’s how my mother feels. Hell, I drive Stefano up the wall all the time as well. Maybe he feels that way, too.”
“Don’t be an idiot, Taviano. All you have to do is look at Stefano when he talks about you or to you and see the love on his face. It’s hard to miss. Your entire family looks at one another like that, but especially Stefano. And I don’t say it like loving you is the worst thing that anyone could possibly do. It’s difficult when it’s not the same kind of love given back.”
He stared at her, hoping that somehow clarity would come to his brain. He considered himself an intelligent man, but he got nothing just looking at her. “At this moment, Nicoletta, I really want to shake you. You aren’t making any sense, when I’ve always considered you sensible. My family is going to be showing up soon, and I’d prefer not to be pulling out my hair when they arrive, so do a better job of explaining what the hell that means.”
She heaved a sigh as if he wasn’t quite bright. “I know you love me. How could I not? You’ve looked after me for the last three years. There’s a difference between being in love with someone and loving someone. You can love children, Taviano, and siblings, and parents, but you aren’t in love with them. Do you see the difference?”
“Why do you think I married you?” She exasperated the holy hell out of him sometimes.
She shrugged. “Obviously, the investigation turned up the fact that my lineage would produce the right babies you needed, and our shadows tangled together way early and you couldn’t get out of it. You were kind of trapped into it.”
“That’s what you think?”
“Yes.”
“First I’m entitled and privileged, and then I’m this poor sap who was trapped into a loveless marriage by my own shadow. You know what I think, Nicoletta? I think you’re a little afraid to face the truth.”
“I’ve never been a
fraid to face the truth, Taviano. I’d rather just know it and deal with it than skirt around it or wonder all the time.”
“The truth is, I’m so in love with you—and have been for so long—I don’t know how I would survive without you. If you decided you couldn’t handle what we do, although shadow riding is who I am, I would find another way to live just to be with you. I knew some time ago, long before you knew, that I was born to be that man, the one to make your life the best it can be, and I intend to be that man.”
Nicoletta stared at him, her mouth slightly open, her eyes wide with shock. Clearly, it was the last thing she’d expected him to say.
He stood up and held out his hand to her. “The ants are going to eat you alive. Come on. We have to get back to the house. Stefano wants us to take the fight to the Demons instead of letting them get to us if at all possible. He’s got plans so they’re coming to the house. They gave us a little bit of time because they know we’re on our honeymoon.”
She put her hand in his and let him pull her to her feet. “Are you serious?”
“About my family coming here? The ants? The honeymoon? Which we’ll take after the real wedding. We are having a real wedding no matter what,” he added decisively. “I’m certain Grace has half of it already planned out with Francesca and Lucia by now, and it’s not quite noon.”
“Not any of that. Loving me.”
“Oh. That. I’m very serious, Nicoletta, and you should have known. I’ve never let you out of my sight. I ran off every boy that ever wanted to ask you out on a date. Two years ago, I informed Dario Bosco we were engaged so he’d back the hell off.”
She gasped. “No way. That’s why he quit calling me.”
“That, and I threatened to knock his head off if he went behind my back and tried to undermine me. Of course, the family helped by keeping you busy, and Lucia and Amo were wonderful and aided me as well. It was a great conspiracy.”