Chapter Twenty-One

While Katelina and Jorick had been in the hospital,
the other three vampires had cleaned up and changed their clothes.
Jorick wore all black so the splatters of blood were nearly
invisible, but Kateesha happily handed him a packet of handi-wipes
to clean himself with anyway. He wrinkled his nose at the false
“fresh scent” but dutifully swiped off the remaining blood from his
exposed skin.
“You’re sleeve’s torn,” Torina commented. “You
should roll it up. And you have a hole in your slacks, though
considering modern styles, I think you can get away with that.”
Jorick rolled his eyes and turned his attention to
helping Katelina clean what was left of the blood from herself.
On the outskirts of town, Oren pulled into a
brightly lit gas station and by the time the car engine cut out, a
stranger wouldn’t have been able to guess that only hours earlier
the vampires had been butchering their kin.
Torina had fallen into a sulky silence, but she
broke it to demand, “What are we doing?”
“We need gas,” Oren said. He glanced uneasily back
at Jorick. “Does she… need… anything?”
Jorick looked questioningly at Katelina and she
nodded reluctantly against his chest. Traveling with these four,
she felt embarrassed to need anything. It was as though they were
staring at her with condemnation for being so weak. Still, the
hospital hadn’t given her anything to drink despite their concerns
about dehydration. “A soda– something to drink.”
Jorick looked up and unabashedly repeated for Oren,
“Yes. Something to drink.”
“Such as?” Oren asked.
“Um…” They said soda caused dehydration, but she
couldn’t stand gator aid or plain water.
“Juice?” Jorick suggested.
Torina gave a huff. “And what kind of juice? I don’t
want to have to guess!”
Oren scoffed. “You’re not going anywhere. Jorick can
handle his own human.”
Torina crossed her arms over her ample chest. “I
don’t care about handling his human, I just wanted to get out.”
“Well you don’t need to,” Oren replied and then
slammed the door.
Katelina clung to Jorick. If it meant going thirsty
then fine, she’d stay thirsty, just as long as he didn’t-
“I’ll be right back,” he said soothingly. He started
to slide her into the empty space between himself and Kateesha, but
she clutched his arm, and shook her head. She didn’t want left
alone with them.
He met her eyes squarely. “I’ll be right back.”. He
quickly opened the door with one hand while he gently moved her off
of his lap with the other.
Kateesha smiled broadly and laid a hand on
Katelina’s leg. “Isn’t this cozy?”
Katelina jerked away and plastered herself against
the window. She gave Jorick a last pleading look, but he only
nodded to her and headed for the convenience store.
“Awww,” Kateesha mock pouted. “I get the feeling she
doesn’t like me.”
Torina popped down the sun visor and examined
herself in the vanity mirror. “That’s not a surprise.” She produced
a tube of red lipstick and applied it slowly to her lips. She
smacked them together and glanced over her shoulder. “No one likes
you.”
“That isn’t true.” Kateesha’s voice got sweeter with
every word. “I seem to recall at least one person who was
especially fond of me, that is until…”
Torina growled low in her throat and her lips curled
back dangerously from long fangs.
Kateesha laughed and added, “Jorick likes me.”
The redhead studied her adversary before she said
forcefully, “No he doesn’t.” She turned back to the mirror and
applied another layer of lipstick. “He doesn’t like anyone
anymore.”
“Think what you will,” Kateesha said lightly as she
looked smugly at Katelina.
Katelina glanced from one to the other nervously,
and then through the window at Oren. He stood next to the car,
dutifully pumping gas. He wore a pair of faded jeans and a blue,
long sleeved, button up shirt, the cuffs rolled up. His long blonde
hair had been tamed into a pony tail and his amber eyes stared
absently past the numbers flipping by on the pump, as if he were
looking into a realm only he could see. But Torina, still in the
midst of making herself presentable, interrupted his reverie when
she opened the car door and shouted to him, “I need a different
pair of shoes after all!”
Oren’s head snapped up and, though he didn’t answer
and went back to staring at the pump again, it was obvious that the
doorway to his far away world had closed and he was now focused his
task.
He finished pumping the gas and opened the trunk. It
slammed shut moments later and he appeared with a pair of spiky
high-heeled shoes dangling from his fingers. Torina took the shoes
and handed him the old pair.
He stared at them as though they were a foreign
object. “What am I supposed to do with these?”
She rolled her eyes and stretched her legs to
examine the effect of the new shoes. “Put them in the trunk, of
course!”
“I already closed it,” he said flatly and handed
them back. “Hang on to them.”
“What?” she cried as he started to walk towards the
building, ignoring her. “Oren! Come put these in the trunk!” He
continued to walk and she amended, “Or give me the keys! I suppose
I can do it–”
Oren reached the glass door to the building and
glanced back, his finger to his lips. Then, he disappeared
inside.
“Of all the – selfish, asinine...” Torina broke off
and hefted the shoes up distastefully. “Hang on to them” she
repeated and dropped them into the floorboard. She slammed the door
and growled, “I’ll show him how to hang on to things!”
Kateesha laughed again and Katelina didn’t
comment.
Oren and Jorick returned together. Oren climbed in
the driver’s seat wordlessly, and Jorick handed Katelina a fountain
cup of tea and the baggy of pain pills the nurse had given him.
“Better take it now,” he advised. “Before the other stuff wears
off.”
Her fingers shook as she opened the bag and popped
one of the pills from the blister seal. She stuffed the round white
object clumsily in her mouth and took a drink through the straw.
She tried to swallow and choked loudly, which drew a look of
amusement from Kateesha.
“Careful,” Jorick said quietly. When her coughing
fit subsided he held out a large blue bag of pretzels. “I got you
something to eat.” She took the shiny bag and cradled it in her lap
uncertainly. Her stomach clenched and heaved at the thought of
food. With some of the images from her ordeal still fresh, she
wasn’t ready to eat yet.
Jorick handed her a small white box that rattled
noisily. “And I also got you some other pain medication, in case
you need it.”
She nodded in acknowledgment and he stuffed the box
back in his pocket before he slid into the backseat, and settled in
between the two women.
Torina glared over her shoulder. “There, your little
human’s all taken care of. Can we go now?” Before he could answer
she swiveled her gaze to Katelina and her pretzels. “And don’t eat
those in here,” she added fiercely.
Katelina didn’t answer. Instead she turned her face
to the window.
 
They left the town behind, and spent the last few
hours of darkness driving towards their unnamed destination.
Katelina dozed against Jorick’s shoulder, the pretzels clutched
tightly like a teddy bear. When they parked next to a sagging
motel, Jorick woke her gently. For once, he stayed in the car and
let Oren and Torina procure the rooms – one for Oren and the two
women and one for himself and Katelina.
The room was like any other and Katelina curled up
on the bed while Jorick began his sunlight calculations. Her
stomach growled and she unconsciously opened the bag of pretzels.
She stuffed the crunchy snacks one after another into her mouth
without thought. She watched him stack the furniture with only half
interest, her mind fogged by pain pills.
When he had all the furniture piled before the
window, he threw the heavy flowered bedspread over the heap for
good measure. Then, he stood back, satisfied, and said smoothly,
“I’m going to go take a shower?” It was really more a question than
a statement, as if he expected her to object.
She nodded absently and he disappeared to the
bathroom. He returned a few minutes later with only a towel swathed
about his narrow hips. He motioned to her and she stood so he could
turn down the sheet and slip beneath it. She peeled off the large
coat and dropped it to the floor. She was surprised to find the
hospital gown still beneath it. It would have to do in place of
anything else.
Jorick settled into bed and held out his arm for
her. She climbed in next to him and he pulled her close. In the
darkness and silence of predawn she slowly relaxed against him and
all her tightened muscles began to uncoil. She closed her eyes and
nuzzled her face against his clean smelling skin. Unshed tears
built up behind her eyelids. Last night she’d been so certain she
was going to die; that she’d never see him –or anything– again.
Now, the experience seemed like a bad nightmare that hadn’t really
happened.
Tentatively she raised a hand to her shoulder to
find the bunched up skin and stitches beneath her fingers. She
shivered in revulsion and told herself that it had been real,
despite how it seemed now.
“Are you all right?” Jorick asked her as he ran an
absent hand over her back.
She drew in a deep, cleansing breath. “Yes.” Despite
the answer, she wasn’t sure it was true. There was too much crowded
inside her head; too many questions. “Kateesha…” Words failed and
she trailed off. “She and Troy were in it together, but I–I don’t
understand. He – why would he betray Claudius? I mean, Kateesha,
she said…” She stopped again.
Jorick drew a tight breath. “Yes?”
“She–she said something to Troy about Patrick.”.
Jorick tensed. “There are some things you should
leave alone, little one. Some answers you don’t want.”
She struggled with his answer. “You–you mean?”
Jorick sighed. “Troy had a… soft spot for Patrick,
in his own twisted way. He was no doubt displeased when Patrick was
killed.”
The words made her stomach feel slippery and sick.
“Are you saying…” She couldn’t finish it.
“No. For his part Patrick intended to be…
monogamous. Troy was not his choice.” Jorick cleared his throat
noisily. “There are some things you don’t want to know,
particularly when it comes to slaves and masters.”
She suddenly understood, and it made her even
sicker. Right now, after everything she’d been through, it was too
much to deal with. She squeezed her eyes closed and wished she
hadn’t asked.
Jorick shifted and pressed his lips against her ear
for a moment; a fluttery kiss. Then he asked, . “You said Kateesha
tricked you. How?”
“I thought you knew? She said it was a mind trick.”
She closed her eyes again. A deep pool of nothingness sucked at her
consciousness and tried to pull her down. It was better than the
real world and she mentally moved towards it.
“What mind trick?” he asked sharply.
“She…” Katelina searched for words. “There were…
words in my head; thoughts. I thought they were mine, but they
weren’t, they were things she was saying.” She was too ashamed to
tell him what those thoughts had been. “But I didn’t look her in
the eyes. She wasn’t even in the room with me.”
His answer was slow in coming. “I see. I didn’t know
she was that powerful.” He tightened his arm around her. “We need
to be careful of her.”
Katelina nodded against him and found words slipping
uncontrolled from her lips. Even as she said them, they sounded
foreign to her ears, as though they had nothing to do with her.
“She killed Arowenia and blamed it on you. She had a deal with
them. They were supposed to make sure Claudius killed me. She said
you’d be upset and have only her to turn to.” She thought for a
moment that she’d already told him this, but she couldn’t
concentrate long enough to be sure.
He sighed heavily. “I’m eventually going to have to
kill her. I’ve tried to avoid it for many years.” He paused before
uncharacteristically explaining, “We have the same maker. He made
her shortly after me. He thought she’d be a good companion.”
Katelina murmured but was unable to say anything.
Her heart beat a steady lullaby rhythm in her ears and the memory
of Kateesha had faded away in favor of cool darkness.
“I’ve always disliked her,” Jorick continued. “She’s
too cruel. Malick was always trying to encourage me to be more like
her.” He gave a soft, hollow laugh. “She enjoys killing so much;
she was quite an asset to The Guild.”
Katelina roused herself and tried to concentrate on
his words. “She was in The Guild?” She half imagined Kateesha
standing by the bonfire, her skin glowing as she smashed in the
baby’s skull and laughed that cold musical laughter.
“Yes. She was under me – one of the Executioners.
She left for the final time several years after I did in a bid to
overthrow The Guild, which she expected my help with. Needless to
say she was disappointed.”
“Oh?” Katelina was so tired that all she wanted to
do was go to sleep and forget everything that had ever happened to
her. She couldn’t understand why Jorick was suddenly talking to her
when all she wished for was sweet oblivion. “Then why is she
helping you?”
Jorick laughed scornfully. “She’s hoping to
overthrow Claudius now. She wants power and intends to take his
place once he’s dead and then, I think, she still intends to rival
The Guild. But, I’ve already told her that I won’t help her.” He
stopped his narrative. “I’m sorry.” Some unspoken emotion hung on
the edges of his voice. “You’re tired.”
“A little,” she murmured. Somewhere, beneath the
haze of medication, she was just glad to be alive and away from
that nightmare.
“Go to sleep, little one,” he whispered softly and
brushed her hair back from her face. “Tomorrow we’ll need to
regroup and try to discover where Claudius has gone. That wasn’t
even half of his coven, so they must have moved to a new location,
already.”
“Sorem.”
His hand stopped mid motion. “What?”
“Sorem,” she repeated. “He sent them to Sorem and
he’s meeting them there later. I heard them talking,” she finished
in explanation as she began to drift into purple shaded dreams.
She heard him muse, “Sorem,” and then she knew no
more.
 
“Liar!!” Claudius’ voice echoed through the
stone chamber. His face pressed close to hers and his lips snarled
back from his shining teeth.
Katelina stifled a sob, and tried to free herself.
He threw her to the floor again and she felt her body break beneath
him. His voice was in her mind screaming shrilly; a sound to make
her ears bleed. And then the pain came. Her body was enveloped in
invisible fire and, her terrified screams filled her ears–
 
“Katelina!” a voice shouted her name, but she
struggled against the hands that held her. “Katelina!” the voice
shouted again, and she felt herself being shaken.
She jerked up and slashed at Claudius, her fingers
like claws. But, as her eyes snapped open, she saw only milky
darkness and a pair of large hands holding her wrists. Her head
jerked around, and she found herself staring at Jorick. His dark
eyes were filled with alarm.
“Katelina! Stop!” he insisted. He lowered his voice,
but his words were still forceful, “Stop!”
She blinked at him and her pounding heart began to
slow. He released her arms and she let them fall to her lap. The
skin was scraped and bruised – such a contrast to the clean white
sheet. Tears slipped down her face. They came slowly at first, and
then in torrents until her whole body shook with sobs.
Jorick hesitated and finally wrapped his arms around
her and pulled her against him, “Shhhhh,” he murmured in her ear.
“It’s all right, you’re safe. Shhhhh....”
She buried her face in his cold chest and shook her
head, “No,” she whispered hoarsely. “No, it’s not.”
He stroked her hair gently and assured her. “Yes,
you’re here with me. I won’t let Claudius hurt you again.”
“But you let him. You already let him.”
He sighed deeply and cradled her tighter. His voice
was husky, heavy with his own guilt. “It’s my fault. I should never
have trusted Kateesha. I should have known she would betray
us.”
At the mention of Kateesha’s name she became
enraged. God dammit, she cursed inwardly. It was his
fault! What the hell had he been thinking? She clenched her
hand into a tight fist and, unable to stop herself, she slammed it
into his naked shoulder as she shouted, “Yes, it is!” She jerked
away from his embrace and pummeled him as tears poured down her
face. He made no move to restrain her, or to deny her accusation,
and this made her even angrier. She wanted him to yell back. She
needed him to feel something for once – just for once!
“You made me stay behind!” she yelled, trying to
provoke him. “You made me stay alone! How the hell am I supposed to
know about all of this shit? How the hell am I supposed to do
anything to them?” She hit him harder, though her fists bounced off
of him, completely ineffective. “You let them take me, god dammit!
You let them!”
A sharp pain lanced through her shoulder and her
fury evaporated in defeat. She hung her head and sobbed. “You let
them,” she choked out. “You let them.”
Jorick gathered her up again, and she lay against
him, limp and choking for air. “Shhhhh,” he soothed. “You need to
calm down and breathe.” He rocked her gently. “Breathe slowly–”
“That’s fucking easy for you to say!” She jerked
away and glared at him. “It wasn’t you in that fucking cage! You
weren’t the one that he… did… that to.” Even in her anger she
couldn’t say the words, the unspeakable phrases that meant dark,
violating acts. It was as if voicing any of them would summon the
pain again. “You weren’t the one that he… God! He was in my fucking
head! Do you understand that? Do you have any idea?”
“Yes,” Jorick said quietly. “Yes, I know.”
“You know?” she shrieked. “You know and yet you let
him fucking do it! You let him - God! What? What was it? I don’t
even know, do you realize that? I don’t even know what the
fuck-”
“He drank from you,” Jorick said softly, his eyes on
the bed.
“Really?” she snapped sarcastically. “I hadn’t
noticed!” She swung her fist again. “Of course he fucking drank
from me! He drank my fucking blood, Jorick and he - he-”
“There’s a connection,” Jorick murmured. “When a
vampire bites someone. It’s a mental connection, and he can do with
it what he wants. He can make it pleasurable or he can make it
torture.”
“And we know what Claudius chose, don’t we? Or do
you? Should I tell you what it was like? Should I tell you how it
was worse than anything else he did? Should I?”
She raised her fists to pummel him again, but he
caught her wrists. He gazed into her eyes, his voice sorrowful, “I
know. I know and I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” she shouted in disbelief. “Do you
think that does anything?”
His voice rose until he was shouting. “What do you
want from me? What do you want me to do? Tell me and I’ll do it,
all right? What?”
She gaped at him and tried to find words. She wanted
him to... to... She didn’t know what, but something. He had to do
something to make this go away!
As if he knew her thoughts he yelled, “I can’t turn
back time, Katelina. I can’t erase what happened! I would if I
could, but I can’t!” He released her wrists and held his arms out
wide. “You want to hit me? Hit me! You want to scream at me? Then
scream! You want to hate me, then fine, hate me, Katelina! But know
I’d have given anything to have spared you from that! I got there
as fast as I could!” His voice dropped, begging her to understand.
“I got there as fast as I could!”
She opened her mouth to shout at him again, but
couldn’t find a point to it. There was nothing more for her to say.
He was right. He had come for her. He’d come and he’d fought
Claudius, and he’d saved her from whatever other tortures the
twisted vampire had had in mind. He’d taken her to the hospital,
against the wishes of the others, and he’d stayed there beside her
as they’d sewn up her shoulder, even though the staff thought he
had abused her and the police had tried to arrest him.
But she wanted to shout, she wanted to scream and
she wanted to rage! Rage was better than the other feeling that was
gnawing at her. Better than the darkness of despair and terror that
was threatening to swallow her. Only in her anger was she safe from
it, safe from being eaten alive and drowning forever in
blackness.
Yet, what good would shouting at him do? What would
it accomplish? His sorrow was etched across his perfect face in
easy-to-read lines. His guilt and darkness was there, just behind
his eyes.
She sagged against him. He waited, as if to make
sure she wasn’t going to hit him, then slid his arms around her
again.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered into her hair. “I’m
sorry.”
Her voice shook. “I know. It’s all right. It wasn’t
really your fault. I just–” she broke off, unsure what she wanted
to say. “I just need to… I don’t know.” She took a ragged breath.
“I don’t know what I need . . . to forget.”
“Nothing is ever forgotten,” Jorick whispered. “You
only quit thinking about it.”
“Then I need to quit thinking about it,” she
murmured. She pulled back and looked at Jorick hopefully. “You said
you had influence. Can you–”
“No,” he cut her off. “I can’t make it go away. I
can hold it at bay, but I can’t erase it.”
She sagged against him and buried her face against
his chest. “Then what good is it? What good is any of it? What was
the point?”
He didn’t reply immediately, but when he did his
voice was low. “You’re alive, that’s the point. I was too late to
stop him completely, but I wasn’t too late for that.”
She supposed he was right. She was alive. Though
he’d said nothing was forgotten, still the memories would fade.
Right now this was the most devastating thing ever, but she
supposed she’d eventually move on and have new things to worry
about. After all, terrible things happened to people all over the
world every day, and yet they kept on living. If they could do it
so could she, couldn’t she? Wasn’t she as strong as anyone else?
Bad things had happened to Sarah when she was a child, and she’d
gone on to live a perfectly wonderful life – until it was taken
away by Claudius.
The thought caused a fresh bought of sobs. Jorick
held her while she cried for herself and her friend. He stroked her
hair and murmured soft reassurances until her tears had dried. She
felt drained, empty, and hopeless, like the dying beams of sunlight
that were merging with the evening’s coming darkness.
“Why did you call me?” she whispered suddenly. “Why
am I in the middle of all of this?”
Jorick drew a slow breath and then answered in a
quiet voice, “Because it was over.”
She stirred enough to lift her head. “Over? What was
over?”
“All of it. We were… finished. Patrick was dead,
Claudius had abandoned his mansion for the time being, Arowenia was
safely at Oren’s and they wanted me to bring Michael there too, or
just kill him. That house on the dead end road was our base of
operations, but there were no operations anymore, not there anyway.
I didn’t have any reason to stay.”
“So?”
He was slow in answering. “So, I had to go. I didn’t
– I didn’t…” he cleared his throat in frustration. “I didn’t mean
for it to happen this way. I never meant for you to get trapped
into anything. How was I supposed to know that Claudius had tracked
Michael down? I never expected him to find us, or to send anyone.
If I’d known I’d have never asked you there.” His voice took on a
pleading tone. “You have to believe that. I never wanted to put you
in danger. I never wanted anything to happen…”
She nodded drowsily and laid her head against him.
“I know,” she murmured. “I know.”
He stroked her hair and pressed his lips to the top
of her head. “Oren’s probably right. I should have just left it
alone. You’d have been better off.”
She shook her head. “No I wouldn’t. He took Sarah.
You said–”
“Yes, he took Sarah. Because Michael told him he saw
you there, in the basement. If you’d never been there…” he trailed
off into a heavy sigh.
“But–”
“There’s no but. It’s my fault, all right? I was
being… selfish,” he spat the word as if it were something
infectious. “There was nothing else for me to do and no reason for
me to stay there anymore. I only thought that if you met with me…”
he broke off and ran a frustrated hand through his dark hair. “I
don’t know what I thought!”
Katelina closed her eyes and listened to the quiet
rhythm of his heart beating. Part of her still wanted to be angry
and scream at him, and he was giving her new material. But she was
too tired. Not just tired physically, but tired in her mind and her
soul. She just needed a break, just a few hours of quiet and peace.
She’d had too many weeks of nauseating tension; ever since she’d
found Patrick dead. Right now she just needed a moment.
Neither of them spoke for several minutes until she
finally said softly, “It doesn’t matter.”
Jorick sighed and tightened his arm around her.
“What’s done is done,” he agreed quietly. “The past cannot be
changed.”
“If you could, though, would you really not call
me?”
She expected him to take some time to think, but he
answered right away. “Truthfully? No, I’d still call you. I’m no
saint, Katelina. I may have good intentions but I’m not really a
martyr.”
She nodded to herself, satisfied. “I didn’t think
so.” They were both quiet a moment and then she asked, “But why
me?”
“What?” he asked with surprise.
“Why me? I mean I’m nothing great. Everyone tells me
how mediocre I am and how disappointed they are – and they’re
right. I’m not that pretty or brave or–”
He cut her off. “Yes you are. And I’ve already told
you, it was because I wanted to. Period.”
“But-”
“Shhhhhhh,” he soothed. “Go back to sleep.”
She shook her head. For some reason she needed him
to say – what? She didn’t know but something. She just needed some
compliment from him, some affirmation. “Jorick?”
He sighed heavily. “Yes?”
“Do you think I’m…” she winced at the cliché woman
questions that came to mind and tried to choose the least
embarrassing. “Pretty?”
He gently laid her back in the bed and pressed his
lips to her forehead. “Yes, Katelina. I think you’re very pretty.
And I also think you’re very brave. Now go back to sleep. You need
the rest.”
She closed her heavy eyes, but opened them again,
another question on her lips. “But no one else thinks so. Why do
you?”
He rested his palm on her forehead. “Because I have
better taste than they do. Now, go back to sleep, and don’t dream
this time. When you wake everything will be better.”