He frowned and turned his intense gaze to me. "With who?" It was a simple question but it felt like the Spanish inquisition.
"Um, Rhys from work."
I felt like a child waiting for its parents' permission to do something. What if Logan hated me for it? Would he see it as me betraying his brother? But he wouldn't expect me to be alone forever, surely? He smiled tightly.
"Have a good time." That's it? "You ordered yet?" he asked Cassie, turning away from me.
"About to. Will probably be about half an hour."
Logan nodded and grabbed a beer from the fridge, while I sat frozen, trying to figure out what his response really meant. Why did it bother me so much anyway? Well, because he brought me back to life after Jace died, that was why. Logan meant so much to me. I hated the thought that he could be angry with me.
I watched silently as Logan popped the top off the beer and took a long swig. What the hell was going on in his head? He then put it down and got two wine glasses from the cupboard. "Are you staying overnight, Chlo?" He started pouring the wine without waiting for my response. Looks like it.
"Yeah, thanks." He put the glass of rose down and sat opposite me. Awkward. It had never been awkward between us before. With Jace it was at first but with Logan there was no pressure. I was just his little brother's friend and then girlfriend, so we hit it off straight away. I had no preparation for awkwardness with Logan. Usually, if I knew I was meeting people I would think of a few random things to ask, but I had nothing here.
If Cassie wasn't in the room, I would have made and excuse and gone home. "I'm starting spinning," Cassie announced. Okay...
"You don't do any exercise, Cass, you should start with something less physical," Logan advised. "Spinning is pretty full on."
Cassie nodded. "I know. I want full on." Oh, this was about Rick. She wanted to take her mind off everything that was going on. I went the opposite way when Jace died, there were no distractions that could have worked. I became a hermit and just existed. "Wanna come, Chloe?"
"Sure." I'd been spinning before and it was complete hell but it worked. Logan was right though, someone who wasn't used to exercise really shouldn't start with that. "Your legs are going to kill you. You sure you want to go straight in with spinning?"
"I'm sure. I'll call tomorrow and book it for next Sunday."
Logan smirked. "I'm so glad I'm working that night."
"Oh, shut up! I'll be fine, Mr Muscles," she teased, throwing a plastic lemon at Logan from the for show fruit bowl. She was so not going to be fine.
***
The second Cass left with her wine, I turned to Logan. He had a bottle of beer in each hand and smiled innocently when I spotted them. I needed to talk to him about Rhys and clear the air, but I was nervous. My heart rate increased, and I had butterflies. "Logan?" I said quickly before I could back out.
He turned to me. "Yeah."
"Earlier, when I told you about Rhys..."
"What about it?" he responded. Poker face. I hated when he showed nothing, he was so good at it. Usually, I could tell what Logan was thinking from his expression but when he shut down he was a complete mystery.
Chewing on the side of my mouth, I turned my whole body so I was facing him. "You acted... strange. I didn't expect that."
"I acted strange?"
"Logan, stop. Please, just tell me what you're thinking."
He shrugged with one shoulder, not even bothering to put the effort in for a full shrug. "You can do what you want, Chloe. You're a big girl now."
"Don't be like that. Do you think it's too soon? Do you think I should wait longer? It's not that I don't still love Jace because I do. I just want to be happy again. I'm ready to move on but I don't want to hurt you or piss you off if you think I shouldn't--"
"Chloe," he cut in. I took a breath. Maybe I went overboard but I opened my mouth and it all poured out. He sighed and put his arm around my shoulder. "I don't think it's too soon. I'm sorry I was a dick earlier. Go on the date if it's what will make you happy." He wrapped his other arm around me, holding me tight. "I just want you to be happy."
"Thank you. I think I'll go. Can't hurt to have a drink or something, can it?"
He pulled back and smiled. "No, can't hurt at all."
Chapter Three
Chloe
"Thank you," I whispered and laid my head on his shoulder. Thank goodness that was sorted out. I hated the thought that Logan would be hurt or disappointed because of something I'd done. We were too close now. Besides my parents and Cass, he was the most important person in my life and the sole reason I wasn't still hiding out in my room between work and university.
"Anytime. I am going to check this guy out, though. You said he works with you, right? Do I know him?"
"Logan," I groaned. "I'm twenty years old. I think I can take care of myself now."
"I know you can." I sighed in relief. Logan quizzing Rhys would be really awkward. "I'm still doing it, Chlo. I don't want you to get hurt, you've been hurt enough."
Okay, that was sweet. "It's a completely different thing. If anything happened with Rhys and he broke it off it wouldn't be on the same level as losing Jace."
"I don't care. I was there when you cried so much you were sick. I don't ever want to see you cry again and if that fucker thinks he can just play around and use you, I'll ball his eyes out with a spoon."
I laughed. What was that? "Ah, she laughs. Your face is hilarious by the way, sweetheart. I meant it, though. I don't want you to get hurt again. That was hard to watch."
It was hard to go through.
"I don't want that either. I'm not going to rush into anything or do anything stupid. It's just one drink to see how it goes."
He nodded once. "And you like him?"
"He's a nice guy, but I don't know if I like him in any way other than a work colleague, sort of friend. Hence the drink."
"When are you next working?"
I narrowed my eyes. "I'm working Monday morning."
"And Rex?"
"Rhys," I corrected.
"Whatever."
Laughing, I rolled my eyes. "Monday as well."
"I might be thirsty on Monday."
I swept my long hair out of my face. What a surprise! "I have no doubt you will." Christ, he was acting like my brother. Was that what he was trying to be? No. We weren't like siblings. Not once had I ever seen Logan as a brother.
"Hey, I just want to make sure the guy isn't a prick."
"He's not. I wouldn't even consider going out with him if he was, but thanks for looking out for me, as always."
He was always there. I'd always been able to talk to him about absolutely anything. Even when Jace was alive I went to Logan more, not that I didn't tell Jace my problems, I did, but Logan was able to look at situations logically and find solutions quickly. Until Jace died and he didn't have any answers anymore, not for himself or me, not until he saw me disappearing in grief and loneliness.
"I thought you'd tell me to stop stressing over it and let you make your own decisions. What've you done with Chloe?"
"Funny. You do stress about me, far too much. I'm okay, Logan. You need to concentrate on you now."
"What's wrong with me? I think I'm pretty close to perfection." He frowned and pouted his lip adorably.
Deflecting, always deflecting and making everything seem okay. Truth was, he was still a little lost. Logan had all these plans for the future, too. He should be in his own place by now but Jace's death had taken over his life for a while as well. Now Logan had a big hole where his savings used to be and he was stuck at home until his bank balance looked healthier.
"You're alright, I guess," I said, turning my nose up. Logan was pretty perfect, as much as a person could be anyway. He was loyal and if he loved a person there was nothing he wouldn't do for them. If it wasn't for him I don't know what I would be like now. Probably still curled up in bed, stuck grieving a life I'd never have.
"Fuck off, you love me."
>
I hugged him because I did love him. "You know I do and that's why I'm going to be as annoying about you achieving your goals as you are about me achieving mine."
"Oh, good," he said sarcastically. "Seriously, I don't need saving. I'm fine, will be back on track soon."
"Uh huh. So the girl at the gym the other day wasn't pissed at you because you'd slept with her and ditched her?"
He held his hand up. "That happened months ago. I'm laying off women for a while, you know this."
"I do. I just worry that while you're so busy pushing me and holding Cassie together you're going to relapse." It was only six months ago that he was drinking himself stupid and sleeping with anything that crossed his path. I'd forced him to a sexual health clinic once - thankfully, he hadn't caught anything - and was not keen to repeat the experience.
"Not gonna happen, sweetheart. I have no desire to wake up feeling like I've been run over or worrying who the fuck is next to me ever again. I can keep myself on the straight and narrow."
"Promise me."
"I promise," he said.
"Okay. And you'll come to me if you ever need to talk, right?"
He smiled tightly. Logan wasn't a load his problems onto someone else person. It was one of the things I loved about him, but it frustrated me to no end. I wanted to be to him what he was to me. I wanted him to know he could rely on me for anything and to get him through anything.
"Sure. Now we gonna eat so much Chinese food we need to run an extra fifty miles tomorrow, or what?"
"Yes to stuffing our faces, no to running more. I'll deal with the extra pound. You should still run though, you're looking a little fat," I joked, poking his very toned, very not fat chest. Practically the entire female race converted to the Church of Gym when they saw Logan's body. Male fitness was a religion I really could get on board with.
"You wound me," he said, smirking and bumping my shoulder with his.
Chapter Four
Logan
"Chlo, really?" I couldn't help but laugh as she lay starfished out on the gym floor.
She groaned and covered her eyes with her arm. "Oh God, my legs hurt so bad. I hate you. I really... just... hate you."
I smiled wider. "You wanted to get back into shape."
Not that there had ever been anything wrong with her shape, not at all. Her legs were perfectly toned and the object of many, many of my fantasies. She had a tiny little waist that was begging my tongue to trace every inch of it. Or maybe it was my tongue begging for it. Either way, she was fucking perfect and I wanted her so badly I had to take at least one ice cold shower every damn day.
"I take it back. A toned body is so overrated. No more, Logan. If you so much as want me to look at a cross trainer I will kill you."
"Well," I said and clapped my hands, "it's good that you're not overreacting."
"You don't understand the pain."
I did. I understood perfectly and she knew that but she did like to get a little dramatic. It was cute and just another thing to add to the list of Things Logan Adores About Chloe. The list was long, and I was going to hell.
When Jace died I either worked out until my muscles screamed in pain or drank until my liver did. Chloe brought me back without knowing it at the time and stopped me fathering about seventy kids, too, I imagine. If I kept on the way I was going - whisky and women - I would be dishing out thousands in child support by now. The alcohol relieved the guilt but since I'd given it up - mostly - I felt like a proper bastard every second of the day.
"You want to hit the shower, then go home?"
"No. I want to lay here until I can feel my legs again. Possibly until morning."
"People are looking at you."
She shrugged one shoulder lazily. "Right now I don't care if they're dancing around me singing Kumbaya."
I laughed, staring down at her and trying to keep my eyes off her cleavage and that sexy gap between her legs. "If you don't get up I'll sing Kumbaya."
"So? You have a nice voice, that won't get me up."
She was being impossible. "I'll pick you up, strip you and chuck you in the shower if I have to."
And I would like that very, very much.
I held my breath as I waited for a reply. If she told me to I would. There was no fucking way if she asked me to strip her down to her birthday suit and get her all wet I would be able to resist. I was the lowest of the low.
Brother's girl. Brother's fucking girl.
"You can carry me to the changing rooms but I'm pretty sure you'll get fired if you come in."
I literally don't care.
"Fine," I huffed, pretending to be annoyed. Reaching down, I scooped her into my arms and carried her to the ladies' changing room.
My supervisor didn't bat an eyelid as I walked past, probably because I'd worked here forever and had covered his arse when he was off screwing the January women. Most people felt down in January, Christmas was over and it was still freezing. January brought women that wanted to get fit - for what usually lasted one to two months tops. January was Patrick's Christmas.
I put her down outside the door and she groaned as her feet touched the floor. The sound was almost erotic and alongside the mental image of her naked in the shower, I was not doing well to keep my hormones in check.
"Gotta shower, too," I said and got the hell out of there as fast as I could. Today's cold shower was going to be lot earlier than usual.
***
I met Chloe by my car. She was curled up on the bonnet. "Good thing you weigh nothing," I said, unlocking the doors.
"If you ever suggest a heavy workout again..."
Holding my hands up, I replied, "Got it. You used to do that all the time, Chlo."
"I used to be fit."
You've always been fit.
"You'll get there again."
She flicked her hand in my direction. "Especially with the drill sergeant training me."
"Hey, you asked for this."
"Yeah, nice one, Chloe," she muttered. "Can we go back to yours and not move off the sofa until Cass feeds us?"
"Sounds like a plan to me."
"And I'll need a smoothie," she said, rolling off my car onto her feet. "And a blanket."
"Wow, you're going to milk this all day, aren't you?"
"Yes."
I drove us back to mine and took photos of Chlo hobbling to the door like a little old lady, earning me a slap on the chest and the second death threat of the day.
"Chloe, are you okay?" Mum asked her.
I rolled my eyes. Here we go...
"No. Logan is evil."
Mum smiled. "Oh, you've just been to the gym."
"Gym, hell, it's all the same," Chloe replied and sank down on the sofa.
"She's handling it really well," I said sarcastically. "Banana and strawberry or cherry and kiwi?"
"Banana and strawberry, please."
Mum followed me into the kitchen.
"It's good she's getting back into fitness."
"Yeah, it is."
"It's because of you, you know."
I carried on shoving the strawberries in the blender. "What?"
"You brought her back."
I smiled up at Mum. "I owed her one."
"Oh, come on, Logan. No need to play it down. That girl is happy again because you wouldn't let her wallow anymore. I'm proud of you."
Yeah, well, I love her so I don't really have a choice. I needed her to be okay. Jace would have needed her to be okay.
"Thanks," I said, peeling a banana. "Something had to change or Chloe was going to waste her life away hiding at home and I was going to die of alcohol poisoning."
"I was so worried about you, Logan. Your dad, too."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have put you both through that. It's just... the guilt..."
"I understand. It's all worked out for the best now. I've got my son and my surrogate daughter back." I would've preferred daughter-in-law.
"Yeah, things are good." They ha
d been for a few months now. Finally. Well, apart from her wanting to see other guys. I wanted her to be happy and not drown in depression from missing Jace, but I didn't want her to be with anyone but me.
If Jace didn't hate me for the last things I'd said to him he had every right to for how I felt about Chloe. Only I knew he wouldn't. He loved me and her and if it couldn't be him he'd want it to be me. If it was the other way around I'd want the woman I loved to be with a person I trusted with my life. It was hard to detach that knowledge from the guilt of wanting his girl, though.
"Smoothie?" I asked.
"No, thanks, love. What's next for you then?"
Ah, I loved that question when I was so far away from reaching my goals. It was like a little kick in the balls every time someone asked.
"Save money. Buy a house. You want me out soon or something?" I drank a lot of my savings after Jace died. All I cared about was going out and getting so drunk I didn't remember my brother had died, I'd been a dick to him and wanted to kiss his girlfriend.
"Of course not. This is your home and you'll always be welcome here, same as Cassie. I just like to know what's going on in my son's head."
God, she did not want to know that. Truth was, she probably knew already. Not once had she ever said anything about me having feelings for Chloe but there had been looks. Looks that made me want to bash my head against the wall. She knew. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing that she never questioned me on it.
I flicked the blender on and watched for the perfect consistency. Mum didn't leave and I was starting to feel a bit awkward.
"Work okay?"
I turned the blender off. "Spit it out, Mum."
Sighing, she sat down on the stool. "Are you really okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Chloe mentioned she might have a date."
"Yeah, she does have a date. Rhys from work. I'm gonna check him out with Ollie tomorrow, make sure he's alright."
"It's going to be strange, isn't it?"
"Seeing her with someone that isn't Jace?"
"Yes. They came as a package for so long."
I poured the smoothie into a tall glass, contemplating smashing it over my head. "Yeah, they did."
"Do you think she'll still come here?"
Oh, that's what's wrong. Chloe was like a daughter to her and she didn't want to lose her, too.