***
John watched his brother flop down on the sofa. It was eight-thirty at night. Another Christmas had almost been and gone.
Grant sighed. “Bella is now happily sleeping after two chapters of Anne of the Island. She’s really got a thing for Anne Shirley. I’m surprised she hasn’t dyed her hair red.”
“Keep that observation to yourself,” John muttered. “If she thinks red hair is a possibility, I’ll never hear the end of it.”
Grant snorted. “The trials and tribulations of being a parent.”
John cradled his coffee mug in his hands. “Do you remember when Spiderman hit the shelves at the library? You wanted to climb down the side of Mr. Garvey’s shed, just like Spiderman would have done.”
“It didn’t do me much good. You must have run like the wind to get home before I took my first step.”
John could still remember the terror that had propelled him forward. “You’re my older brother. You were supposed to have more common sense than me. Jumping off the side of a three-story barn wasn’t smart.”
“Tell me about it. Mom didn’t let me take a Spiderman comic out of the library for a month after that. She couldn’t have inflicted a worse punishment on me.”
John thought about their childhood, the carefree days of living on a ranch surrounded by some of the most beautiful scenery in the world. He’d never fully appreciated what they’d had until he was halfway around the world, fighting in a war no one would ever win.
Grant stood up and added another log to the fire. “You want to tell me why you’ve been trying hard to put a smile on your face?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure you don’t. Just like you don’t know why you keep looking at the two presents that haven’t been opened.”
John narrowed his eyes at his brother. “It’s none of your business.”
“Where have I heard that before?” He walked across to the Christmas tree and took the presents out from under the branches. “Well, that’s a surprise. One of the presents is for you, and the other one is for Rachel.”
“Bella made her something.”
“And you didn’t think to drop it off?” Grant glanced quickly at him. “I get it now. You’re scared of her.”
John clamped his lips together. He knew what his brother was up to. He was trying to rattle him, get under his skin until he annoyed him so much that he’d tell him everything.
Grant left the two presents on the coffee table. “Are you going to open the present that Rachel left for you?”
“No.”
“Come on. It won’t kill you to open it. It’s Christmas. That’s what people do.”
“I fired her, called her things that I shouldn’t have. She must have left our presents under the tree after she came home to pack her bags. Bella liked her gift.” And that was the biggest understatement of the year. Rachel had given her an Anne of Green Gables T-shirt, a carry bag, and a coloring book. Bella hadn’t taken the T-shirt off all day.
“So you’re worried that your gift might contain cyanide?”
John looked at the two presents. “I hurt her.”
“Tell her you’re sorry. She’d be the first person to understand.”
“It’s not as easy as that.”
Grant picked up the present from Rachel. “Why do you always make your life so complicated? Even when you were Bella’s age, nothing was ever simple with you.”
“I felt a deeper sense of responsibility than you did.”
“Or a deeper sense of guilt. You can’t change the past.”
John closed his eyes. He couldn’t remember much of his childhood, but he did remember the soldiers who’d fought alongside him, the ones that hadn’t come home. He thought about Jacinta, the regret he felt for not spending more time with her. Even after Bella had been born he’d disappeared for months on end, leaving her to cope as best she could.
“Punishing yourself won’t bring Jacinta back. Don’t you think it’s time to move on?”
He wiped his eyes. “I don’t know how.”
Grant sat beside him. “You start by believing in yourself. You’re worthy of being loved.”
John smiled through his tears. “You’ve been watching too much TV.”
“I read it in a book,” Grant said with a sad smile. “You’re not the only person with issues. I’m four years older than you are and I’ve never been married, haven’t even been engaged. Do you think I’ve got an invisible do not touch sign tattooed on my forehead?”
John grabbed a tissue out of his pocket and blew his nose. “Are you worthy of being loved?”
This time, Grant’s face broke into a smile. “Damned if I know. You don’t happen to have the phone number of a woman who’s willing to overlook a few personality flaws, do you?”
“I only have the number of one woman and you’re not getting within thirty feet of her.”
Grant nudged John’s arm. “Worried about a little competition?”
That was the last thing on his mind. “She’d eat you for breakfast and spit out the bones. Rachel teaches nine- and ten-year-old boys. She knows the type of games you play.”
“Used to play.” Grant picked up John’s present. “Open it.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I fired her. She hates me.”
Grant sighed. “You told me that you’d fired her and acted like a jerk before she left your present under the tree. Doesn’t that tell you something?”
“Yeah. She’s too nice to hold a grudge. She probably left it there because she didn’t have anyone else to give the socks to.”
Grant squeezed the parcel. “It’s not socks.”
“How do you know?”
“I know socks when I feel them, and I’m telling you, this isn’t a pair of socks.”
John glanced at the present. “It could be thick socks.”
“It feels like there’s a box under the squishy stuff.”
“A box?” John looked at the carefully wrapped present, then grabbed it out of Grant’s hands. “For Pete’s sake, I’ll open it and put us both out of our misery.”
“At last.” Grant sighed dramatically. “That has to be the most intelligent thing you’ve said all night.”
“Very funny,” John muttered as he pulled the tape off Rachel’s present. He opened one end of the gift and looked inside.
“If you’re trying to torture me with your slow unwrapping technique, you’re succeeding. For once in your life, just rip off the paper.”
John glared at his brother. “Whose present is it?”
“You wouldn’t have opened it if it wasn’t for me.” He looked over John’s shoulder. “See…I told you it wasn’t socks.”
John pulled the last piece of tape off the present. “It’s a book.”
“If you tell me it’s a first edition Spiderman comic I’m going to marry Rachel tomorrow.”
John undid the plastic bubble wrap.
“Don’t keep me in suspense,” Grant groaned. “Am I nearly betrothed or still unhappily single?”
“You could be both if you read this book after me.” John felt a smile work its way across his face. “It’s called, The Dummies Guide to Finding the Perfect Wife.”
“Are you sure you didn’t tell her that you have feelings for her?”
“What are you talking about?”
“The book—it’s not the sort of thing you’d give to just anyone. Do you think she wants to be the perfect wife for you?”
John’s smile turned into a full-throttle, bottom-of-the-belly kind of laugh.
Grant looked at him as if he’d gone crazy. “What’s so funny about the book?”
“Do you remember how I met Rachel?”
“Yeah. Bella wrote a letter to a club who gave away bridesmaids’ dresses. She wanted to find you…”
“A wife,” John said. “Now I’ve got no excuse.”
Grant looked down at the book, then back at
John. “What does it say?”
“About what?”
“Finding the perfect wife? Not that I’m a dummy or anything, but it might have a few pointers that I could incorporate into my life.”
“Like talking to a woman for more than ten seconds before asking them if they want children?”
Grant scowled at him. “There’s nothing more ugly than a jealous man. I got that straight from Dr. Phil.”
John opened the book to the first page. His eyes widened as he read the table of contents.
“What? It can’t be that hard to find the perfect woman?” Grant leaned over his shoulder and swallowed. “There are forty-five chapters. How am I supposed to remember all of that? I can only do one thing at a time.”
“You and me both,” John muttered. “Maybe we’re lost causes?”
“We could always split the chapters and cover the highlights? I’ll tell you what I learned and you can do the same for me.”
“I knew there was a reason you were my older brother. Sometimes you can almost be brilliant.”
Grant scowled at the book. “I’ll go down to the bookstore tomorrow and get another copy. What are you going to do about the present Bella made for Rachel?”
“I’ll give it to her when I see her again.”
“And when will that be?”
John didn’t like the evil glint in his brother’s eyes. “In about two weeks’ time, when Bella starts school.”
“It’s a Christmas present. By the time you get around to giving it to her, it will almost be Easter.”
“And your point is?”
Grant picked up the last unopened present. “Bella will be disappointed that Rachel didn’t open her present on Christmas day. Take it to her.”
“I’m not taking it to Rachel now. It’s nearly nine o’clock. She’s probably in bed, fast asleep.”
Grant rolled his eyes. “Only people with eight-year-old daughters are asleep by now. The rest of the world is just starting to party.”
“I don’t think Rachel is the partying kind.”
“Why don’t you give her a call and find out? I’ll stay here with Bella and half of the retired US military personnel. I could even read the first chapter of your book and tell you what it said.”
John took his cell phone out of his pocket. He pulled up his contact list, then put his phone down. “I’ll call her in the morning. Bella will want to come.”
“Bella will understand. You could invite Rachel over when Bella’s awake.”
John wasn’t sure this was a good idea. He’d be lucky if Rachel spoke to him again. The flimsy excuse of a Christmas present wouldn’t work. She’d see through it, tell him she didn’t want anything to do with him.
Grant grabbed his phone off the coffee table and ran across the room.
“Don’t you dare,” John hissed. “Put that phone down.”
Grant pushed a couple of buttons and smiled. “Oops. My fingers slipped. It’s ringing…”
He passed the phone to John just as Rachel answered the call.
“Hello?”
He glared at his brother. “Hi, Rachel. It’s John. I’ve umm…I’ve got Bella’s Christmas present here that she made for you. Can I bring it around?” The silence on the end of the phone wasn’t reassuring.
“Did you mean now or on another day?”
“Well...it doesn’t really matter, but now would be good.” Grant was busy making high-five actions beside him. John could have quite easily pushed his brother out the door.
“Okay. Now would be fine. I’m at Tess and Logan’s home. I’ll see you soon.” Rachel had disconnected the call before John realized what she’d said.
“Well?” Grant watched him carefully. “Did you hit a home run or strike out?”
“I’m going to see Rachel.”
Grant threw his hand in the air and John slapped his hand against his brother’s high-five. And for the first time in a long time, it felt good to be alive.