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Score! Page 1

by Jilly Cooper




About the Book

Sir Roberto Rannaldini, the most successful but detested conductor in the world, had two ambitions: to seduce his ravishing nineteen-year-old stepdaughter, Tabitha Campbell-Black, and to put his mark on musical history by making the definitive film of Verdi’s darkest opera, Don Carlos.

As Rannaldini, Tristan, his charismatic French director, a volatile cast and bolshy French crew gather at Rannaldini's haunted abbey for filming, it is inevitable that violent feuds, abandoned bonking, temperamental screaming, and devious plotting will ensue. But although everyone wished Rannaldini dead, no one actually thought the Maestro would be murdered. Or that after the dreadful deed some very bizarre things would continue to occur.

Score! is Jilly Cooper’s most thrilling novel to date.

Jilly Cooper

SCORE!

This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

Epub ISBN: 9781409032380

Version 1.0

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SCORE!

A CORGI BOOK : 9780552156363

First published in Great Britain in 2000 by Bantam Pressa division of Transworld Publishers

Corgi edition published 2000

Corgi edition reissued 2007

Copyright © Jilly Cooper 1999

Jilly Cooper has asserted her right under the Copyright,

Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of historical fact, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser

Addresses for Random House Group Ltd companies outside the UK can be found at: www.randomhouse.co.uk

The Random House Group Ltd Reg. No. 954009

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Table of Contents

Cover

About the Book

Title

Copyright

About the Author

By Jilly Cooper

Dedication

Cast of Characters

The Animals

Don Carlos: The Initial Cast of the Film

Map

Overture 1977

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Chapter 48

Chapter 49

Chapter 50

Chapter 51

Chapter 52

Chapter 53

Chapter 54

Chapter 55

Chapter 56

Chapter 57

Chapter 58

Chapter 59

Chapter 60

Chapter 61

Chapter 62

Chapter 63

Chapter 64

Chapter 65

Chapter 66

Chapter 67

Chapter 68

Chapter 69

Chapter 70

Chapter 71

Chapter 72

Chapter 73

Chapter 74

Chapter 75

Chapter 76

Chapter 77

Chapter 78

Chapter 79

Chapter 80

Chapter 81

Chapter 82

Chapter 83

Chapter 84

Chapter 85

Chapter 86

Chapter 87

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Jilly Cooper is a journalist, writer and media superstar. The author of many number one bestselling novels, she lives in Gloucestershire with her husband Leo, her rescue greyhound Feather and her black cat Feral.

She was appointed OBE in 2004 for services to literature, and in 2009 was awarded an honorary Doctorate of Letters by the University of Gloucestershire for her contribution to literature and services to the County.

Find out more about Jilly Cooper at her website www.jillycooper.co.uk

By Jilly Cooper

FICTION

RIDERS

RIVALS

POLO

THE MAN WHO MADE HUSBANDS JEALOUS

APPASSIONATA

SCORE!

PANDORA

WICKED!

JUMP!

NON-FICTION

ANIMALS IN WAR

CLASS

HOW TO SURVIVE CHRISTMAS

HOTFOOT TO ZABRISKIE POINT (with Patrick Lichfield)

INTELLIGENT AND LOYAL

JOLLY MARSUPIAL

JOLLY SUPER

JOLLY SUPERLATIVE

JOLLY SUPER TOO

SUPER COOPER

SUPER JILLY

SUPER MEN AND SUPER WOMEN

THE COMMON YEARS

TURN RIGHT AT THE SPOTTED DOG

WORK AND WEDLOCK

ANGELS RUSH IN

ARAMINTA’S WEDDING

CHILDREN’S BOOKS

LITTLE MABEL

LITTLE MABEL’S GREAT ESCAPE

LITTLE MABEL SAVES THE DAY

LITTLE MABEL WINS

ROMANCE

BELLA

EMILY

HARRIET

IMOGEN

LISA & CO

OCTAVIA

PRUDENCE

ANTHOLOGIES

THE BRITISH IN LOVE

VIOLETS AND VINEGAR

To Ann Mills,

dearest of friends,

with love and gratitude.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

JAMES BENSON A very smooth, extremely expensive private doctor.

BETTY One of Rannaldini’s pretty maids.

TEDDY BRIMSCOMBE Rannaldini’s head gardener, renowned for his green fingers and
wandering hands.

MRS BRIMSCOMBE Rannaldini’s long-suffering housekeeper.

MR BROWN An Australian racehorse owner.

MISS BUSSAGE Rannaldini’s PA – a gorgon.

RUPERT CAMPBELL-BLACK Multi-millionaire owner/trainer, ex-Olympic show jumper and Minister for Sport. Director of Venturer Television. Still Mecca for most women.

TAGGIE CAMPBELL-BLACK His adored second wife – an angel.

MARCUS CAMPBELL-BLACK Rupert’s son by his first marriage, recent winner of the Appleton International piano competition.

TABITHA CAMPBELL-BLACK Mistress of the Horse for Don Carlos. Rupert’s estranged daughter from his rider.

XAVIER CAMPBELL-BLACK Rupert and Taggie’s adopted Colombian son.

BIANCA CAMPBELL-BLACK Rupert and Taggie’s adopted Colombian daughter.

EDDIE CAMPBELL-BLACK Rupert’s father, five times married and raring to go. A sexual buccaneer of the old school.

BRUCE CASSIDY Belegauered press officer for Don Carlos. Inevitably nicknamed ‘Hype-along’.

CHLOE CATFORD Mellifluous mezzo soprano, and compilation queen. Sings Princess Eboli in Don Carlos Significant Other Woman in several marriages.

GIUSEPPE CAVALLI Capricious Italian bass, the ghost of the Emperor Charles V in Don Carlos. The inamorato of Granville Hastings, he sings like an angel and drinks like a fish.

LADY CHISLEDON A pillar of Paradise.

CLIVE Rannaldini’s sinister leatherclad henchman.

MISS CRICKLADE Paradise village busybody.

HOWIE DENSTON Artist’s agent and ghastly creep who runs London office of Shepherd Denston, toughest music agents in New York.

DIZZY Rupert Campbell-Black’s comely head groom.

DETECTIVE SERGEANT KEVIN FANSHAWE Rutminster CID smoothie and new-style catcher of villains.

FLORENCE Hortense de Montigny’s ancient retainer.

CHRISTY FOXE Indefatigable PA during recording of Don Carlos.

DETECTIVE SERGEANT TIMOTHY GABLECROSS Old-style catcher of villains.

BERNARD GUÉRIN Battle-scarred veteran. First assistant director, Don Carlos, Tristan de Montigny’s droit-hand man, who acts as sergeant major keeping order on the set.

DAME HERMIONE HAREFIELD World-famous diva and Rannaldini’s mistress. Seriously tiresome, brings out Crippen in all.

BOB HAREFIELD Her charming, mostly absentee husband, longterm lover of Meredith Whalen.

LITTLE COSMO HAREFIELD Hermione’s fiendish nine-year-old son. Could give lessons to Damien in The Omen.

EULALIA HARRISON A frumpy feature writer.

GRANVILLE ‘GRANNY’ HASTINGS English bass, singing the Grand Inquisitor in Don Carlos. Outwardly cosy old pussy-cat.

LYSANDER HAWKLEY Formerly a man who made husbands jealous, now happily married to Rannaldini’s third wife Kitty. Rupert Campbell-Black’s assistant.

THE REV. PERCIVAL HILLARY A portly parson, who confines his pastoral visits to drinks time.

GEORGE HUNGERFORD An extremely successful property developer, chief executive of Rutminster Symphony Orchestra. Live-in lover of Flora Seymour.

JANICE Rannaldini’s head groom.

JESSICA Ravishing production secretary, Don Carlos.

BEATTIE JOHNSON A seductive, totally unprincipled journalist.

SEXTON KEMP An extremely fly East End film producer. Chief Executive of Liberty Productions, who are making Don Carlos.

LUCY LATIMER Make-up artist on Don Carlos. Still centre and agony aunt to entire cast and crew.

CLAUDINE LAUZERTE Actress and Gallic goddess, married to a French government minister.

DETECTIVE CONSTABLE LIGHTFOOT Eager young constable, traumatized by steamy stint at the 1991 Valhalla orgy.

ISA LOVELL A brilliant, obsessive jump jockey. A Heathcliff of the gallops.

JAKE LOVELL His father, ex-world show jumping champion. Now National Hunt trainer.

TORY LOVELL Isa’s mother and Jake’s wife – loving and super-efficient, a hard act for a daughter-in-law to follow.

MARIA An ace cook.

DETECTIVE CONSTABLE DEBBIE MILLER A pulchritudinous policewoman.

COLIN MILTON Once-great tenor now playing Count Lerma, the Spanish ambassador in Don Carlos. Old sweetie, eminently bullyable.

ÉTIENNE DE MONTIGNY France’s greatest painter and national hero.

ALEXANDRE DE MONTIGNY Étienne’s pompous eldest son, a judge.

HORTENSE DE MONTIGNY Étienne’s sister – a blue-blooded battle-axe.

SIMONE DE MONTIGNY Étienne’s granddaughter and Alexandre’s daughter. In charge of continuity, Don Carlos.

TRISTAN DE MONTIGNY Étienne’s youngest son and Rannaldini’s godson. Director, Don Carlos.

DETECTIVE CONSTABLE KAREN NEEDHAM The belle of the Bill.

OGBORNE Chief grip, Don Carlos.

LORD (DECLAN) O’HARA OF PENSCOMBE Recently ennobled television megastar, managing director of Venturer Television and Rupert Campbell-Black’s father-in-law.

VIKING O’NEILL Golden boy and first horn of Rutminster Symphony Orchestra.

OSCAR Deceptively indolent director of photography, Don Carlos.

FRANCO PALMIERI Vast and vastly famous Italian tenor, playing the title role in Don Carlos.

MIKHAIL PEZCHEROV Lovable but rather base baritone, playing the Marquis of Posa in Don Carlos

LARA PEZCHEROV Mikhail’s adored wife.

DETECTIVE CHIEF INSPECTOR GERALD PORTLAND Admin king and limelight hogger, Rutminster CID.

ROZZY PRINGLE Exquisite-voiced soprano playing Tebaldo the page in Don Carlos. Worn down by overwork and importunate family.

GLYN PRINGLE Rozzy’s husband – an accomplished drone.

PUSHY GALORE An ambitious and irritatingly good-looking member of the Don Carlos chorus. Real name Gloria Prescott.

CECILIA RANNALDINI Italian soprano and world-famous diva. Rannaldini’s feisty second wife.

SIR ROBERTO RANNALDINI Mega maestro and archfiend, with musical directorships in Berlin, New York and Tokyo. Co-producing Don Carlos.

LADY (HELEN) RANNALDINI Rannaldini’s fourth wife and Rupert Campbell-Black’s first wife, devoted mother of Marcus and less so of Tabitha. A legendary American beauty.

WOLFGANG RANNALDINI Rannaldini’s son from his first marriage. Little Hitler exterior hides heart of gold. Former boyfriend of Flora Seymour.

SALLY Another of Rannaldini’s pretty maids.

FLORA SEYMOUR Soprano and viola player and former wild child, traumatized by teenage affaire with Rannaldini, now living with George Hungerford.

ALPHEUS P. SHAW World-famous American bass, singing Philip II in Don Carlos. Splendidlooking, but pompous sexual predator.

CHERYL SHAW Alpheus’s justifiably jealous wife. Great tree and social climber.

DETECTIVE CONSTABLE SMITHSON A very PC DC.

BABY SPINOSISSIMO Dazzling Australian tenor and sexual buccaneer of the modern school.

CHIEF CONSTABLE SWALLOW A Rutshire god, and friend of Lady Rannaldini and Dame Hermione.

SYLVESTRE Sound engineer, Don Carlos. Man of few words but countless deeds.

SYLVIA Glyn Pringle’s housekeeper.

VALENTIN Charismatic camera operator, Don Carlos. Oscar’s son-in-law.

LADY GRISELDA WALLACE Wardrobe mistress, Don Carlos. Nervous-breakdown van always on call during production.

SERENA WESTWOOD Record producer of Don Carlos. Cool, competent beauty.

JESSIE WESTWOOD Serena’s four-year-old daughter.

MEREDITH WHALEN Set designer, Don Carlos. Highly expensive interior designer. Known as the Ideal Homo, because he’s so much in demand as spare man at dinner parties.

THE ANIMALS

THE ENGINEER Tabitha Campbell-Black’s event horse.

GERTRUDE Taggie Campbell-Black’s mongrel.

JAMES Lucy Latimer’s rescued lurcher.

PEPPY KOALA An Australian wonder horse.

THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS Rannaldini’s vicious and generally victorious National Hunt hors
e.

SARASTRO Rannaldini’s cat.

SHARON Tabitha Campbell-Black’s yellow Labrador, later has walk-on part as the Grand Inquisitor’s guide dog.

TABLOID Rannaldini’s Rottweiler.

TREVOR Flora Seymour’s rescued terrier.

DON CARLOS

THE INITIAL CAST OF THE FILM

PHILIP II, KING OF SPAIN Alpheus P. Shaw

DON CARLOS, INFANTE OF SPAIN ‘Fat Franco’ Palmieri

ELIZABETH DE VALOIS, PRINCESS OF FRANCE Hermione Harefield

TEBALDO, ELIZABETH’S PAGE Rozzy Pringle

PRINCESS EBOLI, A SPANISH LADY-IN-WAITING Chloe Catford

RODRIGO, MARQUIS OF POSA FRIEND OF DON CARLOS To be filled

THE GRAND INQUISITOR Granville ‘Granny’ Hastings

THE GHOST OF THE EMPEROR CHARLES V Giuseppe Cavalli

COUNT LERMA, THE SPANISH AMBASSADOR TO FRANCE Colin Milton

OVERTURE 1977

Many men hated Roberto Rannaldini. Many women, after loving him passionately, hated him even more. To be regarded at twenty-eight as the most exciting conductor since the war had necessitated brutal trampling on the way up. But at least Rannaldini could count on the unqualified love of his ten-year-old godson, Tristan de Montigny. To Tristan, the dashing maestro, with his suave, catlike smile, his deep, caressing voice, and his recklessly fast cars, was the most glamorous person in the world.

Most importantly Rannaldini had been a friend of Tristan’s mother, who had died when Tristan was a baby, and was the only person prepared to satisfy the boy’s craving for information about her.

‘She was so beautiful, so sweet, so proud of you, Tristan, and she love you so much. Her death happen in moment of madness, when she feel she cannot cope, and was unworthy of your father.’

Tristan’s father, Étienne de Montigny, was France’s most illustrious painter. He was revered for his portraits and landscapes but most famous for his erotic paintings, many of which, Salome’s Ecstasy, The Rape of Lucrece and more recently David and Jonathan, hung in the great galleries of the world, elevating near-pornography to an art form.

Étienne, outwardly a laughing giant of a man, had spawned a pack of children from three wives and numerous mistresses. Twelve years ago, when he was sixty, he had met Rannaldini, newly arrived in Paris to make his fortune as a conductor. The two had struck up a rapport, and Étienne had taken the handsome, impossibly precocious teenager under his wing. In return Rannaldini had not only milked Étienne’s contacts but also posed for him.