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by Ashley Jade
“One-hundred.” He beams. “Plus, five bonus points for getting the extra credit question right.”
Of course he did. Loser.
Her gaze swings back to me. “Liam got an A-plus. There’s no reason you shouldn’t have gotten an A, too.”
That’s like comparing apples and oranges. Liam and the rest of my siblings have giant supersonic brains, whereas I only have a regular one.
Besides, half the class failed that test. She was a bad teacher.
“But, Mo—”
“No, I don’t want to hear it. I’m not letting you join football when you’re failing tests, Cole. You need to use the extra time you’d waste playing football to study and get your grades up.” Disappointment swirls in her brown eyes. “Maybe if you were more like your brother—”
Rage simmering under the surface erupts like a volcano.
“I don’t want to be like Liam.” I give him a look that I hope conveys exactly how I feel about him. “I hate him. I wish he was never born.”
“Why is everyone yelling?” Bianca questions as she walks out into the living room, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
Great. My mother’s other favorite child. Bianca wasn’t just the only girl; she was also the baby of the family and Mom’s little spoiled princess.
“You were supposed to be up twenty minutes ago,” my mother tells her.
“Sorry.” Her face perks up. “We’re still getting my ballerina slippers though, right?” Without waiting for an answer, she adds, “I need the same exact ones Julianna got. There’s a store at the mall—”
“Yes, baby girl. I know.” Smiling, Mom snaps her fingers. “Now go get ready so we can leave.”
Grinning from ear to ear, she runs off.
No way in hell is this fair.
“You’re letting her join ballet, but I can’t join football?”
Jace walks into the room at that moment.
“She won’t let me join,” I snap, glaring between him and our mother.
He has to fix this. He was the one who put a football in my hand to begin with.
Plus, he’s probably the only person who can get her to change her mind.
He’s only a year older than me, but it was becoming apparent mom expected him to take care of us whenever she was sad.
Things were so bad, Jace was starting to feel more like my father than my actual father.
He opens his mouth, but closes it when she says, “Unlike you, Bianca isn’t failing any of her tests.”
Jace raises his hands. “Sorry, man. I’m not arguing with that.”
Of course not. But if I was Liam, he’d have no problem sticking his neck out.
“This isn’t fair.”
She gives me a pointed look. “Life isn’t fair.”
Not one to give up, I say, “Today is the last day to sign up. We can stop there on the way to the mall for Bianca’s dumb shoes. It will only take a second.”
Pinching the bridge of her nose, she sighs. “No.” Her face softens. “Show me you can do better in school first and we’ll talk about it, okay?”
She doesn’t understand. Even if they’d allow me to join late, I’d be too far behind. Everyone on the team will have made friends, gotten their numbers, and been assigned their positions.
I don’t want to feel like I don’t belong and have people make fun of me.
I’m not Liam.
“It will be too late by then.”
She looks up at the ceiling. “The answer is no.”
Desperate, I say the one thing I know will upset her. “Fine. I’ll call Dad and ask him.”
Anger mixed with hurt flashes in her eyes. “Yeah, well, good luck getting ahold of him.”
She walks out of the room, dismissing me without another glance.
But this wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.
I was tired of her comparing me to Liam.
Tired of feeling like I’d never measure up.
Tired of her hurting me.
No matter how much I loved her and wanted her to notice me—she couldn’t love me back. I felt it in my bones.
Kids always know when they’re unwanted.
I follow behind her. “He probably doesn’t pick up the phone for you because he doesn’t like you.”
Jace is hot on my heels as I follow her into the kitchen. “Stop it, Cole.”
No. I wouldn’t. I couldn’t.
Football was my escape. My one chance to be the best at something and she was taking it away.
“All you do is sleep all day. You don’t even take care of us anymore,” I scream. “I hate you. You’re the worst mom in the whole entire world!”
“No, she’s not!” Liam yells.
“Cole!” Jace snaps.
Paying no mind to my outburst, she looks at Liam. “Want to go to the mall with Bianca and me?”
His face lights up. “Sure.”
I hate him. I hate them.
“Mom,” I plead, my voice cracking. “Please.”
She ruffles Liam’s hair. “Maybe we can pick up that new comic book you’ve been talking about.”
Now she’s just being a jerk and pouring salt in the wound.
I try to snatch her car keys off the kitchen counter, but she’s too quick. “Stop, before I ground you.”
“Go ahead.”
She’s already ruined my life. She might as well banish me to my room. At least then I won’t have to see or talk to Liam. Or her.
“Why is Cole crying?” Bianca questions, and it’s only then I realize there’s wet stuff dripping down my face.
“Mom won’t let him join the football team because he failed his last test,” Liam unhelpfully supplies.
Bianca scrunches her nose. “That sucks.”
I rub my tears away with the back of my sleeve. “I hate you.”
If my mother felt anything from my statement, she doesn’t show it.
Grabbing her purse, she looks at Jace. “Watch your brother while I’m gone.”
I flinch when the front door slams behind her.
It’s over. I lost.
Jace puts a hand on my shoulder. “I bet if you do well on your next test, she’ll reconsider.”
“The last day to sign up is today.”
He mulls this over for a second. “Once they see how good you are, they’re going to want you on their team.”
“What makes you so sure?”
He mock-punches my arm. “This arm of yours.”
“Whatever.”
I wasn’t done feeling sorry for myself because there was no guarantee they’d let me sign up late.
“How about we make a deal?”
“What kind of deal?”
“I’ll help you study for your next test, if you promise to ease up on Mom a little.”
I roll my eyes. “Sure. Take her side.”
“She’s going through a lot, Cole.”
“She’s ruining my life.”
He grabs some juice from the fridge. “No, she’s not. She just wants what’s best for you.”
“What’s best for me is football.”
“Well, you need to prove that by passing your next test. Show her how much you want it and how hard you’re willing to work for it.”
I don’t want it…I need it.
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
When she gets home, I’ll apologize for what I said and take Jace up on his offer to study.
I’ll study so hard I’ll get a better grade than Liam. Then she’ll have no choice but to let me play.
And then when she sees how good I am on the field—how much better I am than Liam is out there—maybe she’ll finally love me more.
He slides a glass of juice across the counter. “Of course I’m right. Now drink up so we can throw the ball around for a little while.”
As usual, Jace had a way of pulling me out of a funk and cheering me up.
Truth be told, I often found myself wishing he was my only brother.
My li
fe would be so much better.
Jace flaps his hand like he got stung by a bee. “Damn, boy. Keep that up and I’m gonna have to start wearing a mitt.” Holding the ball, he backs up a few more feet. “Think you can throw it to me when I’m standing this far away?”
Running over to where he’s standing, I seize the ball from him. “I don’t think I can. I know I can.”
Quick as lightning, I run across the yard.
Jace told me running builds stamina and I’m going to need a lot of it if I want to be a quarterback.
If that’s the case, I’m gonna ask Mom if I can start running to school.
Getting a firm grip on the ball, I bring my arm back and focus on my target.
I’m about to launch it, but a sharp pain infiltrates my chest.
My breath leaves me in one big rush as the pressure grows and I drop to my knees.
Jace runs to my side. “What’s wrong?”
Liam.
That stupid twin thing we have.
I clutch my heart, sweat dripping down my face. “It hurts.”
“I’m gonna call an ambulance.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Don’t.”
“Are you crazy? Something’s wrong.”
“It’s not me.”
He regards me like I’m crazy. “What?”
“Call Mom,” I croak out. “Make sure Liam’s okay.”
“Liam? That doesn’t ma—”
“Just do it,” I bark.
Come on, Liam. Man up and stop acting like a baby all the time.
He fishes his cell out of his pocket and brings it to his ear. “She’s not answering.”
I force myself to stand. “It’s fine.”
Jace’s eyebrows pinch together. “What?”
I wipe at the grass stains on my jeans. “I said it’s fine.” I pick the ball back up. “Let’s play.”
I’m not going to let Liam’s issues get in the way of football.
He gets in the way of enough.
His mouth drops. “Seriously? I thought you were having a heart attack.”
That gets a laugh out of me. “Young people don’t have heart attacks, dummy.” I give him the ball. “You throw it this time. See if I can catch it.”
“I don’t think that’s a good id—”
The sound of his phone ringing cuts him off.
Must be Mom.
“Hey, Dad,” Jace bites out.
Or not.
Something’s changed between them the last few weeks. They used to be close, but nowadays, it’s almost like Jace despises him.
Then again, he’s probably feeling snubbed like the rest of us due to Dad working all the time.
“Wait…what? When?”
I can’t hear what my dad is saying…but whatever it is can’t be good because Jace drops the phone.
“What happened?”
“Mrs—” He swallows and tries again. “Mrs. Garcia.”
I don’t understand why he’s so distraught about our neighbor.
“Did she die?”
He shakes his head. “No. She’s coming over.” He looks like someone sucker-punched him in the gut. “Dad’s on his way to the hospital.”
That feeling in my chest is back with a vengeance.
“Is he okay?”
“I don’t…I don’t know.” He looks down at the grass. “I don’t know anything.”
“What do you mean you don’t know anything? You just spoke to Dad. What did he say?”
He’s so out of it, it takes him a full minute to answer.
“He said there was an accident. Mom’s car went off the side of the road.” He buries his head in his hands. “That’s all he would tell me.”
That can’t be right.
“What does that mean? They’re okay, right?”
“I don’t know!” he screams. “I don’t know.”
It’s like it’s the only sentence in his vocabulary.
“They’re okay,” I whisper, more for my benefit than his.
Mom once told me if you put positive thoughts into the universe, they’ll become true. “They have to be.”
“Yeah.” Appearing to gather his composure, he inhales sharply. “You’re right. Everything will be fine.”
But it wasn’t.
It never would be again.
Because two hours later, we found out Liam and Bianca were in emergency surgery…
And our mother was dead.
Chapter 17
Sawyer
“The police told my dad she was driving home from my elementary school when she veered off the road.” Cole’s agonized voice is barely above a whisper. “When they went through her purse, they found a copy of the release form she’d filled out, along with a receipt for the check she wrote so I could join peewee football.” He closes his eyes. “She wouldn’t have been there that day if it wasn’t for me.”
Oh, God. My rapidly sinking heart folds in on itself.
Without thinking, I put my arms around him, hugging him as tight as I possibly can. “I’m so sorry.”
My chest physically aches for the little boy who believed his mom’s death was his fault, and the man standing before me who refuses to think any different.
He stiffens. “I don’t want your pity.” Before I can blink, he backs me into the wall. “What I want is your help.” His fingers grip my jaw. “I need you, Sawyer.”
He isn’t playing fair. He can’t open up to me like he did and then demand I help him.
Isn’t that what you asked him to do? my mind prompts.
Dammit. I hate when my conscience gets involved.
It would be wrong of me to turn my back on him, but I also want time to mull this over so I can make an informed decision.
“I’ll think about it.”
It’s the only answer that feels right.
He’s silent for the better part of a minute before he sighs. “Okay.”
It’s only then I remember my arms are still wrapped around him and his body is pressed against mine.
Neither of us makes a move to amend our position.
My vision has adjusted to the darkness enough I can make out the turmoil in his eyes, the bow of his full lips, and the sharp lines of his jaw.
He’s so beautiful…so tortured.
Before I can stop myself, I trace his cheekbone with my thumb.
“You were just a kid,” I tell him. “It wasn’t your fa—”
“Do you ever think about that night?” he interjects.
The sudden change of subject is almost enough to give me whiplash. “What night?”
“The night we hooked up.”
Oh, that night.
“Not really,” I lie.
“I do,” he states matter-of-factly.
“You told me you didn’t remember?”
“I don’t.” An impish smile curves his mouth as he leans in. “Why don’t you remind me?”
Nerves bunch in my belly. “Remind you?”
“Tell me what happened between us.” His lips drift over the shell of my ear. “Don’t leave out any details.”
Sweet baby Jesus in a manger. He can’t be serious. “I—why?”
“The last thing I remember is wanting to kiss you.” His mouth moves to the crook of my neck and he plants a soft kiss there. “Did I?”
I swallow hard. “Yes.”
His hand finds my waist. “With tongue?”
My eyes flutter closed and I nod.
“Was it sloppy and frantic…or soft and gentle?”
My cheeks heat as the memory floats through my mind. “I—um. It was kind of both.”
“How so?”
“At first it was gentle,” I explain. “And then…I don’t know, it was almost like you…”
“Couldn’t get enough?” He presses his lips against my throat. “Sounds about right.” The hand on my waist travels upward, just past my ribcage. “Then what happened?”
Part of me wants to put an end to this whole charade, but th
e other part wants to rub his drunken amnesia in.
Make it sting a little.
“We kept kissing…and then your mouth went lower.”
I have his full attention now. “How low?”
A rush of heat engulfs my cheeks. “My neck.” Forcing myself to look at him, I murmur, “At first.”
The bulge in his swim trunks is impossible to ignore as his eyes dip to my breasts. “Did I touch them?”
My chest heaves, drawing even more attention to the subjects in question. “Yes.”
Gravel thickens his voice. “With my mouth?”
I draw in a sharp breath. “Uh-huh.”
A small gasp leaves me when the pad of his thumb brushes one of my nipples, making them both pebble even more. “Did I suck them?”
Ribbons of heat unfurl inside me. “Y—”
The sound of the door opening startles us both.
Half of me wants to yell at Cole for not locking it, and the other half is grateful for the save because I’ve spent the last couple of months wishing I could magically undo his kiss and forget his touch…yet here I am letting him turn me into a pile of goo all over again.
“There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”
Cole has a murderous look in his eyes as he turns to the culprit responsible for interrupting us.
Fortunately, it’s Oakley. If it was anyone else, I’m positive they wouldn’t escape unscathed.
Cole puts a little distance between us. “What the fuck do you want?”
“There’s a situation—” Oak starts to say before he’s interrupted.
“Wow.” It’s only then I notice the fake nurse standing beside him. Morgan doesn’t even try to hide the look of disgust on her face. “I can’t wait to tell Casey about this.”
My stomach twists. More drama with Casey is the last thing I want.
My fight or flight response kicks in and I wiggle out of the changing room.
“I have to go,” I say in a rush before I sprint toward the house.
Cole calls my name, but I keep trekking.
It’s only then I remember Bianca. No matter what my issues with Cole are, I’m not the type to ditch someone I came to a party with.
When I reach the living room, I notice a crowd of boys circling around two people gyrating on the dancefloor.
Shock roots me to the spot when I see Bianca and Hayley making out as their bodies sway to the music.