I see his eyes flicker to my dad’s car, and then they come back to me. I can see his mind working.
Don’t connect the dots. Don’t connect the dots.
“I thought you were at that dinner tonight?” I quickly go for a change of subject.
He stares at me for a long moment. Thankfully, he decides to let it go. “I was supposed to go, but then I heard about this showing today, so I ducked out. Sent my dad on his own.”
He was going with his dad. The relief I feel at that is immensely scary.
“Was he angry?”
He shrugs, a smile teasing his lips. “A bit, but I’ve ditched him to come to a car show, not to go out partying, so he can’t be too mad.”
He gives a cheeky grin that makes my erratic heart swell in my chest.
And that makes me take a step back.
“Well, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were coming. If I had, I wouldn’t have come.” I don’t know how true that is. I would have come because I had to see my father’s car. I would have just come when I knew he wouldn’t be here.
“Wow,” he says with an incredulous tone in his voice and a hurt look on his face. “I know we’re in a weird place right now, but you hate me that much?”
My eyes widen with shock. “No. I don’t hate you. Of course not. And ‘weird place’ is putting it mildly, Carrick. You can hardly bear to be in the same room as me. When I said I wouldn’t have come, I meant, for your sake. I know it’s bad enough that you have to see me at work.”
“Jesus…Andressa.” He rubs his forehead with his fingers and then takes a step toward me. “That’s not…I just…fuck.” His eyes blink in earnest at me. “I’m really fucking sorry for the way I’ve behaved lately. The way I’ve treated you…I’ve been a complete bastard.”
I wrap my arms around myself in protection. “You have nothing to be sorry about. It’s me who should be sorry.”
He shakes his head. “I think we’ve both been at fault in one way or another lately. I just…I don’t deal well with rejection.” He shoves a hand through his hair, looking awkward. “When I’m rejected, I act like a total prick.”
“I know. You’ve told me that before. In China, remember?”
“Yeah, and I acted like a prick then, too. No wonder you don’t want me.”
My face drops. “Carrick…I…”
“Sorry. Just pretend I didn’t say that and sound like the biggest fucking loser on the planet. Actually, can we just forget everything and start from the beginning?”
“Start from the beginning?” My brows pull together.
“Yeah. It could be like we just met for the first time. Forget everything that has happened and start fresh.”
“Oh.” I don’t want to forget a moment of anything with him. Even the bad stuff. “Why?” I ask quietly.
He takes another step closer. The space between us is marginal now. I can smell his aftershave…feel him. My body starts to ache with need.
“Because I’ve come to realize that I’d rather have you in my life…than not at all.” He blows out a breath, giving me hopeful eyes. “So, what do you say?”
Even though it stings that he just wants to erase our past like it doesn’t matter, I know I have no right to feel that way. And I can’t turn down the chance to have him in my life again.
I hold my hand out. “Hi, I’m Andi Amaro.”
He glances down at my hand, a smile touching his eyes. When he takes hold of my hand, I feel those familiar sparks I always feel whenever he touches me, but this time, I feel an ache so deep that it burns into my bones.
Somehow, I manage to hold myself together.
“Carrick Ryan,” he says. “It’s nice to meet you, Andi.”
“Actually, call me Andressa.” I smile. “This guy I knew, the best guy ever, always insisted on calling me by my full name.”
Lightness flickers in his gaze. “Sounds like a smart guy.”
“He is.”
“Okay, Andressa it is.”
Slipping his hand from mine, he turns to my dad’s car. Taking it in for the first time, he lets out a low whistle. “Wow, William Wolfe’s car. I’ve heard about it, but I’ve never seen it in the flesh. Fucking stunning. Does it still run? Do you know?”
“I don’t think so.” I sadly shake my head. “They generally take the engines out of these classics to keep them pristine.”
“Shame. Car like this should be driven.”
“I know, right? It’s such a waste for it to just sit around, not being used. He would have hated that.”
Carrick looks back at me, questioning.
And I realize my slip up. Shit.
“I mean, I’m guessing he would have because no racing driver would want to see his car sitting around, not being used, right?” I’m fidgeting, so I fold my arms over my chest.
“Right.” He looks back to the car, staring at it. “This is your favorite type of car, too, right? The Jaguar XK120 M Roadster.”
He remembered.
“Yes,” I say slowly.
“Hmm,” he says.
Hmm. What does that mean?
He’s staring at the car still, and I’m starting to feel a little jittery. Worried that maybe he’s beginning to tie things together.
So, I decide it’s time to make my exit, and really, I should leave him to it. I don’t want to push this too far, ruin this even ground we’ve just found.
Stepping back, I say, “So…I’m gonna go look around. It was great bumping into you…and you know, sorting things out.” I offer a smile. “I guess I’ll see you later.”
“Andressa,” he calls me back.
My body tightens and yearns to reach for him.
As I turn, he’s already moving toward me. “Do you…” He pauses, rubbing a hand over his hair. He looks nervous, which is odd because Carrick never gets nervous. “Would you mind if I come look around with you?”
I hold my breath as my heart leaps into my throat.
I know I said I didn’t want to push things with him, but him asking to be around me right now is a whole different ball game.
“Of course not.” I press my lips into a sincere smile, ignoring the bumpity-bump in my heart at the sight of his face relaxing into that amazing smile of his.
I’M IN MY APARTMENT, finally home. We’re back for the British Grand Prix, which starts in a few weeks. We arrived in England yesterday afternoon, and I now have five days off work before I’m back at Rybell.
I plan on sleeping for four of those five days. All of the traveling and late nights spent working and partying have caught up with me.
I saw Carrick the night before we all left to come home. I was in the hotel bar on my own. Petra had already left, and Carrick was coming back in the hotel. He saw me, came over, and sat down to join me, and we had a drink together in the bar. I had to stop myself from remembering the last time we were together in a hotel bar.
It wasn’t an easy memory to erase.
But that’s what I’ve been trying to do, just like he asked. And we’re doing okay.
Do I still have feelings for him?
Yes.
Do I still want to rip his clothes off his body each time I see him?
Absolutely.
But that gets us nowhere. So I’m focusing on the fact that we’re talking, and I’m happy to have him in my life again even if there is a sense of awkwardness between us.
At times, it’s almost like we’re treading water, figuring out how to be around one another again.
And it’s like he knows I’ve been thinking about him because my phone lights up with his name.
“Hi,” I answer.
“Hey.” His Irish lilt bleeds down the line, making my belly flip. “How are you doing?”
“I’m good. You?”
“Yeah, good. Look, I was wondering if you’re free this afternoon. I’ve just…I’ve got something I want to show you.”
“Sounds ominous. But, yeah, sure, I’m free.”
“Really
?”
“Why do you sound so surprised?” I laugh.
“I don’t know. I thought you might be busy or something.”
“The only thing I’m busy with right now is a bar of chocolate.”
“Which chocolate?”
“Galaxy, of course.” I smile.
He makes a moaning sound, and it practically has my toes curling.
“Do you want a moment alone with my bar of chocolate? I can put it on the phone if you want. I have FaceTime.”
He barks out a laugh. “Nah, I’m good.”
“So, what is this thing you want to show me anyway?”
“You’ll see.”
“Aw, come on! You can’t leave me hanging. Just tell me.”
“You won’t be hanging long. I’ll be there to pick you up in half an hour.”
“Then, you’ll tell me when you see me.”
“No.” He laughs. “Thirty minutes, Amaro. Be ready to go.”
I glance down at the state of my unshowered-still-in-my-pajamas self. “Actually, can you make it forty? I need to get dressed.”
“Please don’t tell me you’re naked right now.”
“No!” I blush.
“Thank fuck. I’d have had to drive faster if you were.”
“Oi!” I chastise playfully, liking that we seem to be getting over the awkwardness and getting back to us.
“Forty minutes and not a second later.”
And then, he’s gone, and I’m leaping from the sofa, making a dash for the shower.
I’m dressed in skinny jeans and a T-shirt, hair down and almost dry, rubbing balm onto my lips when I hear a car horn beep.
Going over to my window, I open it up and see a hot-as-sin red Lamborghini parked in front of my building.
Carrick pokes his head out of the window, grinning up at me.
“Two minutes.” I signal to him.
Running around my apartment, I get my jacket, bag, and phone. I grab the bar of chocolate I bought yesterday while thinking of Carrick and shove it in my bag.
I let myself out of my apartment, lock up, and run down the stairs, exiting my building.
“Sweet ride.” I whistle as I walk around his car, getting a good look at her.
She’s an Aventador LP 700-4 Pirelli Edition with a matte black roof and engine hood, so you can see the mechanics beneath. A thin red stripe runs along the black roof, linking her to the Pirelli brand. She’s brand-new, and there aren’t many of her around.
“How long have you had her?” I ask, sliding into the rich leather seat.
“Not long.”
I know they were announced at the start of the year, forecasting delivery for the summer, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d gotten the first one. He’s Carrick Ryan. Having him driving around in a brand-new car is every manufacturer’s dream, irrespective of the level of brand.
“She’s beautiful.” I run my hand over the dash.
“Yeah, she is.”
The tone in his voice turns my head to him. He’s looking at me. No, he’s staring at me.
I swallow nervously and then start rambling, “Six-point-five liter V-twelve engine, delivering six-ninety horsepower, with ISR transmission, pushrod suspension, and permanent all-wheel drive, right? I bet she handles like a dream.”
He’s smiling at me, his eyes all lit up. “She does.”
“She hits one hundred in two-point-nine seconds, right? Maxing out at three hundred and fifty kilometers per hour?”
“Mmhmm.”
“You had her up to top speed yet?”
“No, I haven’t had time to get her out on the track yet.”
“Cool. Well, I’d love to be there when you do.” Then, I quickly worry that maybe I’ve overstepped my boundaries with him. “You know, if I’m around or whatever.”
“We can take her out this week if you want?”
“Really?” I beam at him.
“Really.”
“Yay!” I clap my hands together, and he laughs at me.
“How can you be such a girl yet be so fucking cool with your car knowledge?”
“I’m just awesome. What can I say?” I shrug, grinning.
He’s staring at me again, and I’m starting to get hot.
“I brought you something,” I announce a little too loudly, jolting us back to the now. I reach into my bag and pull out a brand-new bar of Galaxy Cookie Crumble.
“Fuck, has that got—”
“Cookie in it? Yep. You haven’t had it before?”
“No, and I’m wondering how the fuck not.” His eyes are all lit up like a little kid. “Have I told you lately how amazing you are?”
“Not lately,” I say, handing it over.
He rips it open and breaks some off, putting it into his mouth. Then, he starts making that moaning sound again, and I’m squirming in my seat.
Maybe bringing him the chocolate wasn’t the best idea. I’m currently jealous of a bar of Galaxy chocolate.
“Fuck…that’s good. You want some?” he offers me through a chocolaty mouthful.
“No, I’m good. Thanks. I wouldn’t want to deprive you of any.”
“Sorry.” He grins. “It’s just me and Galaxy have this thing. It’s pretty serious.”
“Clearly.” I give him a teasing smile and love the smile I get in return.
“Come on then,” he says, putting down the chocolate into the center console. “Let’s get moving.”
Putting the car in drive and stepping down on the gas, he roars down the street.
Thirty minutes after leaving my place, we’re in a quiet village called Radclive, and Carrick is turning off the country road and onto a small drive in front of a set of metal gates.
Pressing a button on the steering wheel, the gates open, and then we’re driving up a curved long driveway. At the end of the driveway is a large Edwardian-style house surrounded by what I can only imagine is acres of land.
“Wow,” I say, looking through the windscreen. “Is this yours?”
“Yeah. This is home.”
He pulls up front and climbs out of the car, so I follow suit.
I’m a little nervous that he’s brought me to his house, wondering why I’m here.
“I’ll show you the house in a few, but what I brought you here to see is in the garage.”
I walk with Carrick toward a massive outbuilding, which is located on the side of the house. He pulls a tiny remote from his jacket pocket and opens one of the garage doors.
We go inside, and I find myself in a purpose-built garage—or I should call it a showroom.
I’m astounded at the number of cars he has in here. There must be thirty, minimum, with plenty of space for more. They’re mostly classic cars with a few modern ones.
“Wow, Carrick. This is amazing. I knew you collected, but…wow…” This place is like my dream come true.
“Thanks. I’ve got pretty much every car I’ve ever wanted, barring a few. But the one I wanted to show you is just down here at the end. It just arrived this morning.”
I walk behind him, my eyes trailing over each car we pass—a classic Mini Cooper, a Dodge Viper…
“Here it is.”
I turn to the sound of his voice, dragging my eyes off the yellow 1960 Lamborghini Miura, and—
Oh my God.
My heart slams against my ribcage. “Is that…” I take a step closer, my hands trembling.
“William Wolfe’s car? Yeah.”
I swing around to look at him. “You bought it?”
I can’t believe he did that. Why did he do that?
A stupid hopeful part of me wishes it were because of me, that he somehow realized this car is important to me.
“I didn’t steal it. Don’t worry.” He grins, pushing his hands into his pockets. “It was bugging me—what you said about it sitting there, not being used, and how Wolfe would have wanted it to be driven. So, I got in touch with the owner, and I told him I wanted it.”
“And he just said ye
s?”
“Not right away. It took some persuading.”
“How much persuading?”
“A lot—plus, a five-year VIP pass to the Prix.”
“Wow. Expensive persuading.”
“Drop in the ocean.” He shrugs, walking around to the front of the car.
Sometimes, I forget how much money he has at his disposal.
I walk closer to the car, the tips of my fingers trembling to touch it. “Can I?”
“Sure.”
Reaching out, I open the door. Then, taking a deep breath, I slide into the driver’s seat.
I’m trying not to act weird, but it’s hard.
This is a bittersweet moment for me.
Closing my eyes, I place my hands on the steering wheel, curling my fingers around it.
I feel the car move. Opening my eyes, I see Carrick getting in the passenger seat beside me.
“Are you happy I bought it?”
Beyond happy.
Tears are beating at the backs of my eyes. I fight them away.
Pulling my lips up into a smile, I say, “Of course, I’m happy for you, and happy that this car isn’t going to be sitting around like an ornament anymore.”
He’s staring at me, almost like he’s weighing something. “Good, because I need your help to get it up and running. If you want to, that is?”
Do I want to? Is the sky blue?
“Really?” I feel suddenly breathless.
“Yeah. But it’s gonna be a big job. Total refit as she’s empty. If you’re up for it?”
“I’m up for it.” I smile so big that it nearly splits my face.
Carrick returns my smile. “I’ll pay you the going rate, of course.”
Huh?
I stare at him like he’s lost his mind. “I don’t want you to pay me.”
“Andressa, this is a big job. I’m not letting you do the work for free.”
“I don’t think you understand.”
He really doesn’t, and part of me wishes he did in this moment. God, I would sell my soul to be able to get this car back on the road. And with Carrick driving it, I’d give everything.
But I play it down. “Working on a car like this is fun for me, like what a day out at the spa is for other girls.”
He shakes his head, laughing. “Andressa, you are like no girl I’ve ever known.”